I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{80} Hot Chocolate and Cookies

I was glad that I saw Rhett awake and watching TV. I knocked on the door and Rhett's eyes snapped to mine. He smiled and sat up slowly so he wouldn't hurt himself. I walked over to him and set down the hot chocolate and the cookies that I brought on the small desk in front of him.

I smiled at him and said "Nice to see you awake." 

"Nice you came by. I was getting bored watching old people shows. Did you know that we burn twenty-six calories just by kissing?" He said and smirked.  I rolled my eyes and took off the caps on the coffee cup.

"Yes, but I'm not kissing you until you brush your teeth."

I heard a laugh behind us and I turned around to see the nurse walking towards us. "Don't worry I wasn't eavesdropping. I came here to check his blood and pulse," the nurse said and smiled. I nodded and let her do her thing. She asked Rhett about how he was feeling, and then checked his pulse, took more blood, and gave him his pills.

"I'll tell the doctor that you're doing well and you should be out in a few days. You can kiss your boyfriend all you want and watching old people shows isn't bad," the nurse said and smiled at me. I froze and my cheeks were getting hot. Rhett laughed and the nurse walked out.

"Shut up and I'm not his boyfriend!" I screamed at the nurse.

"Sure you aren't!" She screamed back and I groaned.

"Don't worry, babe. It's alright if we're not dating..Yet," Rhett said and smirked.

"Just take your stupid hot chocolate and cookies," I said in annoyance and shoved the cookies in his mouth. He choked on it and I hide my laugh. We ate in silence. It was a peaceful silence. I was happy to see Rhett getting healthy, and that the guy who did that to him was going to jail.

"Are you okay?" Rhett asked. I nodded and raised an eyebrow.

"You're eating fast. Something's making you upset. Talk to me." He said softly.

I stopped chewing and looked at him for a few seconds and then I swallowed the remains of the cookie in my mouth.

"You don't deserve to have those cuts on your arms." I announced. Rhett stopped chewing and grabbed his coffee cup.

"If you knew Alexandrina was cheating on you, why didn't you break up with her?" I asked. Rhett played with his cup and I was getting worried.

"Rhett?" I said.

"I was afraid." He said and looked at me.

"Of what? I think your mom is fine with you being gay."

"It's not that. I was afraid that you'll turn me down and you'll hate me if I tried anything with you." I was the one who made him get those cuts?  I made him cut himself? I thought he cut himself because of Alexandrina. I looked down. I was going to get up and leave when Rhett's voice stopped me.

"But I stopped cutting when we kissed."

"How did that make things better? I was the one who made you cut," I said and glared at the ground.

My voice cracked and I wanted to leave him. I heard movement but I still didn't look up. I saw feet on in my view and I looked up to see Rhett staring down at me.

"Why did you get up? Get back in the bed before you hurt yourself," I panicked and started to push him towards the bed, but then he started to pull himself and we were facing each other.

"You didn't let me finish. Alexandrina was never the love of my life. This whole time, I loved you but I've never got the chance. I cut myself because I didn't have confidence. I cut myself because of the thoughts of my mom hating me. I cut myself because I didn't want to see you alone, and it pained me not to be with you every day to make you feel loved and erase all the pain and hurt I saw in your eyes."

He grabbed my face with both of his hands and whispered "Zayden, I love you."

And then he gently kissed my lips. It was the same feeling when we first kissed. No movement but warmth and unexpected feelings. I pulled away and smiled. Rhett did the same and kissed my cheek.

"You taste like hot chocolate," he whispered.

"You have little bit of chocolate on your lips," I whispered back.

"What about you take it off for me?" he offered with a smile in his eyes. I hesitated because Rhett usually kissed me first.

Rhett looked into my eyes and smiled. "It's okay if you don't want to kiss me. I can always-"

I smashed my lips into his and he stood there frozen. I shut my eyes and pulled him closer. I didn't take it to the next level with the kissing, because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. When I let go, Rhett opened his eyes and I could see the happiness in his eyes.

"I had better kisses. They were soft and warm and-" he started cockily and I smashed my lips to his again and this time I felt his lips smiling. I heard clapping and kiss sounds but I ignored it and kept kissing Rhett. My smiled widened when Rhett wrapped his arms around my torso.

"Why can he kiss like that, and I can't?" I heard Eden's voice.

"Because he's older than you and he knows how to kiss." I heard my dad's voice and then laughter. And that did it for me; I laughed out loud and pulled away. I looked at my dad, Cassandra, Eden, Cade, and Shane Nolan standing next to the door.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to spend quality time with my boyfriend," Rhett said and pulled me back into another kiss.