I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{31} You're The Best Brother

My mom went to the hospital and I didn't see my dad in the living room watching TV or in the kitchen making something. I knew he went outside with Rachael and at this point I didn't care. He's going to forget about us and never come home while Eden, my mom, and I stay in the house, depressed and angry that dad didn't come home.

It doesn't sound bad that all three of us are living together. I walked up the stairs and opened Eden's door to see him doing his homework on his bed. He looked up and nods before going back to do his homework.

"Hey, I said and sit on his bed next to him.

"Hi," he mumbled. Something is wrong but he isn't going to tell me. I have a few minutes of him before I go do my homework and I really want to see how he's dealing with his feelings over his bully.

"How are you?" I asked and move to lie down on his bed. He sighed and moved his homework away from his bed and lays next to me. We both stare at the ceiling and I notice he had the same glow stars that I have in my room.

"I didn't know you like stars," I said and glanced at him. He kept staring at the ceiling and nods his head. I must try to start off smooth before I start throwing questions at him.

"Of course. I love stars. Someday I wish I can name a star after me and my family," he said and smiled. After his family? Why would he name his family after us? I thought he cared about himself. I need to get to know my brother more.

"That's nice, Eden. I'm glad you’re going to do that but I wanted to talk you about your problem."

He turned his body towards me and I do the same. We both stare at each other and his eyes look at his pillow. He started playing with it and I patiently wait for him to say something.

He sighed and said "The feelings are getting stronger. I tried to ignore him today but he kept bothering me and the weird thing is; he didn't do his usual routine. He didn't punch me or slap me across the face, but he did...caress my cheek and tried to grab my hand."

I nod and he continues.

"Also I tried to be disgusted but then I told my English teacher and all she did was smiled at me. She told me she has a girlfriend and I was shocked. I told her I have to go and I ran out of her classroom and the school."

His English teacher is a lesbian? My brother might have feelings for his bully and now his English teacher is gay? Is everyone turning gay? I have no problem with that, but my brother seems like it.

"Eden, nothing is wrong being gay and if you like this boy then you should let these feelings go." I sit up and do criss cross applesauce.

"I am not going to fall for him! I don't like him! I shouldn't care about him! I shouldn't think about him! But every single day he keeps-"

There was a knock on the door and Eden stopped screaming and said in a quiet voice "Come in."

Our mom walked in and she smiled at us and said, "I see you guys are doing something fun. I remembered when you guys were little and you used to talk and wrestle with each other. It was so cute! I have baby pictures! I'm going to get them!"

"Mom! Please don't! We've seen it a billion times!" I groaned. She laughed and closed the door behind her. I looked back at Eden and he was looking down, playing with his jean lace.

"You want to talk about it later?" I said and pat his knees. He nods and unexpectedly he hugs me. I freeze and he hugs me tighter.

"Thank you, Zayden. You’re the best brother," he mumbled and before I could hug back he lets go and stared at me. He smiled and grabbed his homework. I don't say anything. I get up from his bed and walked out his room and walked into mine. I closed the door and lean on my door. That was unexpected but…nice too.

"You’re welcome, Eden. You’re the best brother too," I whispered.