Confessions of a Teenage Christian (A Devotional Book for Teen Girls)

February 22, 2017 [Emotions]

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." ~Romans 8:28

Emotions-

It's been a while since I've been on here—well, since I've updated. If I'm being honest, I've been online almost every day, multiple times a day. I've been online looking through my book, others' books, comments, messages, posts, desperate for anything that would give me a sign or some kind of guidance. I haven't been too busy to update. Actually, I really haven't been doing much the last few months except going to school, going to work, and going to bed to wake up the next morning and repeat.

My biggest struggle at the moment has been confusion. My emotions have been wacky and lopsided and nonexistent for a while now. I go through every day with a great lack of feelings. I don't feel happy when I should, but I also don't feel sad when it seems fitting. I just haven't felt anything about anything. It's incredibly frustrating to feel so broken and defective.

When you're in close relationship with the Lord, I have always expected a sense of passion to accompany it. When your walk with Him is going well, it only makes sense to be overwhelmed with happiness, right? But when you're at a point when you don't feel anything, it's difficult to continue your walk when you don't have that passion or happiness. Hence my loss of what to write.

So, I decided to write about this. I don't have a lot of advice right now because I'm genuinely overwhelmed. Having a lack of feelings kind of goes hand in hand with this hopeless, pointless mindset. Going through each day without any excitement or encouragement can become very heavy.

Though I might not be able to see the ending right now, I know it's going to be good. He's not forgotten about me, and He's got some great things planned. I'm going to feel again, maybe more than I ever want to.

I don't have a lot of advice for you guys right now. I don't have much insight to give and encourage you. But I do have this: God is good. I'm clinging to that right now. Even through the frustration of not feeling passionate about God's promises, I stay reminded of them. It's important to stay in the Word, even when you don't get much of a response. Because when God makes this incredible breakthrough that I've been holding out for, I don't want to miss it.

Dear God,
I'm really lost right now. I don't understand why I feel like this, and sometimes I feel guilty for not feeling anything. I'm in desperate need of Your guidance. I'm thankful that you hear my prayers before I speak them because I'm at a loss of what to say. Remind me of Your goodness, Your mercy, Your grace. Remind me You are the God who works wonders. Remind me that You haven't forgotten me. Encourage me to hold fast to Your name and continue to stay in Your Word. Amen.