"Why didn't you tell me?" Marco's voice boomed with authority as Cay's body shook from his outburst. "I tried" she cried softly. "I was six weeks pregnant, when I found out. I tried coming by your home, everyday for a week, only to be told that y...
Today was Nono's funeral and all Cay had done since she got up was cry.
While getting Julian dressed in his little black suit, he asked her the strangest thing, he wanted to brush her hair.
She sat on his bed and handed him her brush. Getting on his knees behind her, he started to gently brush her hair and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world, the love that was transferring out of that little boy into her.
"Mommy, daddy says we have to take care of you until your heart feels better. Is it feeling better?" Oh her heart broke at his words and the thought of that little boy bearing such a burden pained her.
"Julian, you and daddy and Aunt Jules are making it better" she said, trying with all her might not to lose it in front of him. "Thank you baby. Why don't you go and check on Jules, okay? She might need your help. I love you, J" she told him.
"Love you too mom" he said as he ran out the door and when she knew he was down those stairs, she slipped to her knees, buried her face in the side of the bed and wept.
Her body shook with racking sobs, the loss each of them felt was more than any of them should have to carry.
"Fiore, shh, come on Cay. Up you go." She knew it was Marco and she hated like hell that he was seeing her so weak but she just couldn't keep in inside anymore.
She was dressed already, just no makeup. There was no point, so she put on lip gloss and put her hair in a high ponytail and slipped on flats.
She was in a black lace maternity dress and the ironic thing about this dress was it was the last thing Nono purchased for her and the first time she was wearing it was to his funeral.
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At first he said no to black because it will hide your belly but then she tried it on for him and he said it was perfect, like she was. If she was so perfect, he would still be here.
Marco helped her to the bathroom and had her sit at the vanity chair while he got a cool washcloth. He patted her forehead and then the rest of her face.
It did feel good, comforting but she knew more than anything it was Marco that was the comforter, not the rag.
"I'm not trying to rush you baby but we need to leave in a little bit" Marco said as he took her hair down, brushed it and put it back up for her.
Her guilt over Nono was killing her but the fact that she hadn't been taking care of Marco and Julian, even Jules was killing her softly. She had to pull herself together.
Standing on shaky legs, she grabbed Marco's arm, looking at him and seeing the pain in his eyes was devastating to her and it was time for her to put her grief aside and care for him now.
Leading him to their bed, she had him sit and then placed herself between his legs and brought his head to rest on her belly, stroking his hair and silently letting him know she was here for him.
For the first time since she's been with Marco, he broke down and cried in front of her, his shoulders just shaking with grief as he let it out.
She knew he would not want to do this in front of the other families, it would be seen as a sign of weakness, because the unspoken rule was you grieve in private with your family.
She would never pretend to understand this but she wasn't going to start questioning things now, not when everything was so raw.
Security would be tight, not that Whitford would dare do anything at the funeral, too many made men in attendance and he would for sure die before he could draw a breath.
No, like the coward worm he was, he would strike when no one else was around. Men like him were always cowards, no guts, no balls.
Marco had let it slip the night before that Julian and Jules would be attending their classes via the Internet and she was fine with that. She couldn't bare to lose anyone else.
Also, there were other families, well the soldiers anyway, that were staying on their property and according to what she'd heard, they'd been living off fast food.
Well not anymore. She would enlist Jules help and they would make the men a real honest to goodness Italian feast for dinner. That's how she would say thank you by taking care of their bellies.
The drive to St. France's took about forty-five minutes and when they arrived outside the church, the hearse was already there, along with police motorcycles and limos to take and escort them to the graveside.
Father Bascus was there to greet them and escort them inside. Marco told her that Nono had known him since both men were in their twenties.
Bascus went one path and Nono went the other but they always stayed in touch and while Bascus prayed for their souls, Nono kept the church funded. He told the father it was the least he could do.
Cay found her feet frozen half way up the aisle because there at the end stood the reality that was for the DeLuca family today and that was his coffin sitting there, open.
Could she do this? She had to, so she gripped Marco's hand and proceeded forward until they reached him.
Andre offered to keep Julian with him until Marco had a chance to talk with him about what was going on.
The mortuary did a wonderful job. Nono looked peaceful and like he was sleeping. No burns or marks on his gentle body and Cay was grateful because she still carried some burns and scraps from that day, reminding her of what had happened.
She leaned over him, weeping and speaking Italian.
Nono, I'm so sorry! I would trade places with you right now if I could! I don't know what we are going to do without you. I am so thankful for the time Julian and I had with you and my only regret is our princepessa will never know her Nono. Fly to the Angels and rest in peace with Nona. Ti amo.
She stepped back with the help of Vit while Marco and Jules stood together, weeping at their loss, Cay weeping for them.
Vittorio tapped her lightly and when she looked up, Marco had turned beckoning her to join him and Jules.
Callo "Nono" DeLuca was laid to rest, beside his amore, at Our Lady of Perpetual Hope cemetery, the graveside service the largest Cay had ever witnessed.
If the FBI had wanted they could have made the history books by raiding the funeral but they were absent...this time and Cay knew it was because of Marco and the respect certain people had for him.
At any rate, it was over and they were heading back to the safe house, where they would struggle to put their lives back together, absent a main family member, but Nono would have wanted no sorrow, he would have wanted a party, a celebration and Cay would give it to him.
