Pain: Her (Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 22

He began to walk backwards than regularly and marched down the way Liam was walking.

"Harry, don't!" I ran after him as fast as I could.

This can't be happening right now. I thought this was all over, I want it to be all over. I understand he's upset but he has to let it go, I did. I'm getting so sick of feeling this constant fear again, it's unhealthy for me. Alan was right, actually. He does need to control his temper. Liam did apologize what more does he want?

"Harry, my God! Just stop and listen to me!" My voice echo'd through the empty dark streets of my neighborhood and he stopped in his tracks. I was behind him, just a couple feet away when he turned around, and the look on his face scared me more than any monster I've seen before.

My eyebrows knitted together in fear and my mouth parted. Heavy breathing escaped my shaking lips as he waited for me to speak.

"What?" he said putting emphasis on the "t"

"Why are you going after him? He said sorry..." no matter how scared I was, I did my best to cover it up for his sake. I know how much he hates it when I become afraid of him so I had to show confidence. But, maybe me showing some int imitation or fear would snap him back to reality and keep him away from Liam.

"You don't get it, do you?" he asked slowly shaking his head and furrowing his eye brows. "He hurt you over and over, you even said he beat you constantly. Has he felt the pain you felt? Hmm? Has he felt the slightest pain you have, even the slightest? Has he?" he took three steps closer to me and from the intimidation I took a step back.

"It doesn't matter Harry, what's done is done. Why can't we move on?" My question came out sounding like a plead, almost a beg but he didn't seem to care.

"I won't move on until there are wires connected to his body."

"You're not going to do anything!" I said with the most serious face, crossing my arms and holding authority in my voice. In response, he laughed.

"Excuse me?"

"You're not going to do anything, Harry." When the smile twisted into an angry expression my confidence began to quickly fade.

"And why is that?" he asked tilting his head clearly not really caring.

"Because I said so." He chuckled hard and didn't take me seriously.

"I'm serious, you're fucking scaring me okay? Just leave him alone!" I practically shouted as water began to form in my eyes.

I got the exact response I was hoping for. He relaxed his body and unclenched his jaw.

"I'm scaring you?" Did he not know this? He can't be that stupid.

"You're yelling at me and looking at me weird Harry, did you expect me to fucking smile and laugh?" I asked allowing my tears to fall.

"I'm sor--"

"Shut up!" I yelled closing my eyes and pressing my palms against my head. "You're not sorry!" I cried out, literally cried out with tears running down my face.

"Aleevonne, don't cry." He begged as he walked closer to me. In response, I took a step back.

"Why are you trying to get away from me?" he asked. The street light hit his face and created a shadow behind him. Wind was blowing through his white t-shirt as he stood before me anticipating my response.

"Just, go home." My words held no emotion, no care or fear, just a genuine feeling of wanting to be alone.

"No, I'm not leaving." he stood his ground and reached over to grab my wrist but I pulled my arm away.

We stood in silence staring at each other, and the more we stared, the angrier he got.

"Come here." He ordered.

"Go home." I replied turning around. Just as I did, his hands wrapped around my wrist and he turned me around and pulled me into his chest. Mine bumped into his and my free hand tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge.

"Harry, let go." I said as calmly as possible.

"I don't want to hurt you, Aleevonne, don't leave."

What is he doing...

"Please let me go!" I begged as more tears fell. I struggled to release myself from his grip but it only got tighter.

"Just listen to me," he said, "As a boyfriend, as a man, I have to defend the girl I'm with. No matter how many times he says he's sorry to the girl, for the man...it's never enough." he released my wrist and brought it up to his lips and kissed it, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just don't want you to be upset."

"You scared me.." I whispered looking down. The tears fell from my eyes and dropped to the floor before he lifted my chin up with his thumb and index.

"I scare myself." he confessed bringing his hand up to cup my cheek, "This shouldn't be okay with you, him hitting you. You shouldn't just brush it off."

"I'm used to it." I said wiping my tears with my palm. He slowly shook his head and like I predicted, his anger boiled up again. He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, making a fist with his free hand.

"Alee?" he opened his eyes and looked into mine, "Stay here." He removed his hand from my face and immediately turned to walk away. I thought everything was fine, I thought he was calm. I started to panic and I ran after him, again.

"Harry please stop!" he didn't stop and I had no choice but to jump in front of him and hold him back by his chest. That obviously didn't help since he kept walking.

"Will you calm down?!" I wasn't afraid anymore, I was more frustrated than scared.

"He's gone now Harry, he's not even here!"

"Shut up!" He yelled in my face. I stopped walking and he looked at me for a few seconds before continuing to walk.

"If you go after him, I'm done." I threatened. I prayed--I hoped to God that he didn't go because I didn't mean it at all. I don't want to break up with Harry but his tempter and behavior is seriously scaring me. One second he's happy the next he's upset, one minute he's sorry the next he's not, it's all so confusing and stressful to me but I had no choice but to threaten him.

He remained with his back towards me but turned his head to look at me from the corner of his eye.

"Done?" he repeated lowly.

"Yes, done." I said harshly, "If you hit him, I'm leaving you. I can't keep worrying about if you're going to do something to hurt someone, I hate feeling this way!"

"What way?"

"Scared! Afraid! Worried! You need to control your damn tempter Harry!" he turned his whole body to face me and licked his lips, sucking it in and running his fingers through his hair. "Please, I beg you, just...can we just continue this relationship and not worry about him every two seconds? I dealt with him for a year I don't want to deal with him anymore. I want to be with you and just be happy Harry, why can't we just be happy?"

"You're not happy?" he asked walking to me.

"Not right now, no. Does it look like I am? I should be but you're making it hard." he rubbed his jaw and nodded his head.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He grabbed my hand and pulled me in close to him, hugging me tightly.

I don't want to think like this but this is exactly how my relationship with Liam went. One second we were fighting the next we were making up...everything was so confusing to me because his attitude and temper would change every day. Harry's attitude remained the same but his tempter is something I think he needs to take care of.

"Are you mad?"

"No."

Yes.

"You need sleep, Harry." I told him pulling away.

"Babe, don't be mad." he begged.

"I'm not."

Yes I am.

"Alee!" Alan yelled from the house. I turned my head to see Alan standing in front of the door looking in our direction.

"I should go." I told him not looking at him.

"I'll walk you." He offered.

"No." I rejected. "It's fine, get some rest Harry, you need it." Without a kiss or a hug or even a smile, I turned to walk away, but like usual he followed. Once I reached the steps Alan went back into the house and I began to walk up and again, he followed.

"Harry..." I said turning around. I was caught off guard when I saw the puppy dog face he had, he looked like a lost child.

"You didn't kiss me goodbye" he said playing with his car keys. I sighed and gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled.

"Better?"

"No." he cupped my face and brought mine to his and kissed me hard. My hand went on his hip as he continued to kiss me and no matter how upset or annoyed I am with him, which isn't often, I always cave to his kisses. They're so perfect and intoxicating I could never get enough of them. He pulled away than back in, gently pecking my lips before releasing my face.

"Goodnight." he whispered looking into my eyes.

"Goodnight, drive safe." I turned around and immediately shut the door, not bothering to look back and stood there catching my breath. When I peaked through the window, Harry was still standing there. He shook his head and rubbed it before entering his car and driving away.

"Rough night?" Alan asked as I walked up the stairs.

"Yeah." I sighed. I sluggishly opened my room door and slammed it shut, throwing myself on the bed. I took my shoes and jeans off, along with my bra and remained in my underwear and t-shirt. I crawled into bed and placed my phone on my nightstand and turned my light off.

I lied in my bed and thought about the first time I met Harry In class. Alan was telling me how much he loves me and my mom and he came in, really rudely actually, and interrupted us. Than when I followed him out the gym and he called me annoying and compared me to his mom, and that time he let me cry into his chest as he hugged me and reassured that everything was going to be okay. I put my trust in him too quickly but I have no regrets. I wonder what's behind Harry's temper though. I wonder what causes him to get so angry and upset so quickly. The reason behind Liam's was his divorced parents and somewhat fucked up childhood, but I mean that still didn't give him a reason to take it out on me. I know Harry would never hit me, I know he wouldn't internally hurt me, and I refuse to think or believe that he would.

My phone kept buzzing with messages and they were all from Ava, not one from Harry, which wasdisappointing. Minutes later, I was receiving a call.

*unknown*

I don't usually answer unknown numbers but for the hell of it I did.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Aleevonne?" The familiar lovely British voice danced in my ear drums.

"Mrs. Styles?" I said sitting up and turning my lamp on.

"Yes, hello darling, I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, no! Is everything alright?"

"Um, well sort of, I don't know. Harry never came home."

"Wh--what do you mean he never came home?" I pulled the covers off of me and got out of bed.

"I tried calling and texting him but he never answered. I'm worried. He obviously isn't with you, right?"

"No, he's not. That's weird though."

"I know, but it isn't the first time. I just wanted to call and check if he was with you."

"What do you mean it isn't the first time? He's done this before?" I asked holding the phone between my ear and shoulder to open my drawer and take out a pare of sweat pants.

"Plenty of times. He's probably out at a bar or something, I guess I shouldn't worry." I immediately stopped my movements and furrowed my eyebrows in concern.

"Bar? He drinks?" Please say no.

"Yeah."she said almost at a whisper, "Not all the time, he usually goes when he's upset or has a lot on his mind. He doesn't get drunk, I mean he sort of does but not drunk enough to not know where he is."

"Do you know which bar he goes to?"

"Blue Cabin."

"The Blue Cabin?" I repeated. That was Liam's favorite.

"Yeah, anyway sweetheart get your rest. I'll tell you if he shows up."

"Wait, how'd you get my number, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Harry gave it to me."

"Oh, okay well if he calls or texts me I'll let you know too."

"Thank you love, sleep tight now."

"You too, goodnight." I hung up the phone and immediately looked through my contacts and called the person I've been looking for.

"Hello?" he groaned into the phone, obviously I woke him up.

"Zayn?"

"Aleevonne? Are you okay?" he asked clearing his throat.

"Yeah, I just--can you come over I need your help please."

"Yeah, yeah! Is everything alright?"

"I don't know, I just need your help. But don't tell Ava."

"It's one, she's sleeping, but yeah I'll be there in twenty minutes."

Twenty minutes later I see Zayn pull up and get out of his car. He had grey sweats and a tight black long sleeve shirt on. He looked nice..

I grabbed my phone and slipped my boots on and ran downstairs. Before he could knock on the door I opened it.

"Whoa!" he said as I stepped out and closed the door gently behind me.

"We need to go to the Blue Cabin."

"Blue--Blue Cabin? Yeah, I don't think so." He said following me to his car.

"Why not?"

"It's too dangerous there."

"You're with me. We'll be fine." I got into the passenger side and he came in and turned his ignitions on. His car smelled like cologne, like Hollister.

"Why are we going there?"

"To get Harry." he looked at me with confusion.

"Harry? Why does it matter that he's there? How do you even know if he's there?"

"Because he's drinking, and his mom is worried, plus she said that's where he goes when he has alot on his mind or is upset."

"Oh, he drinks." he said cocking an eyebrow. "And why would he be upset?"

"Long story, but I know I shouldn't worry and shouldn't even be going there but Liam goes there all the time I don't want anything happening."

"Do you think he went there to fight him?" Zayn asked.

"I don't know, knowing him he probably did."

We finally reached the bar and cars surrounded the place. For a bar , is was pretty big. We found a parking spot and we both got out of the car.

"Wait." he said grabbing my arm and pulling me beside him.

"What?" I whispered.

"Walk behind me." he said trying to protect me.

"It's fine, Zayn." I tried to move passed him but he held me back.

"I'm serious, stay behind me. Hold my shirt if you get scared."

"You can't be serious." I laughed.

"No, I'm serious"

I didn't grab his shirt but I did follow him in, and as we walked up to the entrance door I saw Harry's black range rover and I sighed in relief. Just as he opened the door, a room full of drunk and laughing men stood before us. When one looked at me, I grabbed Zayn's shirt.

"I'm right here, it's alright." He said.

"Zayn!" A strange man called.

"Louis!" They both shook hands and the blue eyed tattoo'd man gave me a warm smile.

"Why hello there lovely, I'm Louis." he extended his hand for me to shake and I looked at Zayn.

"He's one of the nice guys."

"Damn right I am!" Louis said. I shook his hand and he offered me a drink but I declined.

As they talked, I looked around the bar to try and find Harry but I just couldn't. His car is here so obviously he is too. Before I could doubt anymore, I see Harry walk out of the mens room.

"There!" I whispered to Zayn pointing at him. Louis turned his head to see than back at me.

"Harry?" Louis asked as his eyes grew bigger.

"Yeah." Zayn slowly said.

"That's your boyfriend?" he guessed.

"Yeah, he is." I replied watching Harry as he sat down slouching in his seat and taking a beer in his hand.

"Good luck." he laughed shaking his head.

"What does he mean?" I asked looking at Zayn.

"He's drunk don't listen to him."

"I mean, the bastard is a heavy drinker. He may be eighteen but boy can the lad drink!"

I felt so fucking stupid. I didn't even know Harry's age. How could I not know that?

"Harry's eighteen?" I asked.

"I guess." He shrugged. It's really no big deal that he's eighteen I just thought you were supposed to be a senior not a junior when you are. Doesn't even matter anyway.

"Okay, Louis go back to whatever it was you were doing." Zayn suggested. Louis got the hint and left.

"Okay listen, I'll go get Harry and you wait in the car."

"No way!" he said knitting his eye brows together in disagreement.

"Harry won't let anything happen to me Zayn, it's fine."

"Fine." He sighed in defeat. "But I'm right outside, I'll stand by the door if you need me." I thanked him and he left and just as he said he waited by the door.

Zayn is so sweet and such a gentlemen, I wish he always acted this way towards me.

At first I was bit hesitant to approach Harry, but time was ticking. I walked over and sat next to him and he didn't even bother to look up.

"Harry?" I whispered putting my hand on his shoulder. I most've scared him since he flinched but his eyes widened when he saw me.

"Aleevonne? What the hell are you doing here?" he let go of the beer and grabbed my hand and stood up.

"You have to leave, it's too dangerous here."

"Okay, but you're coming with me."

"How'd you get here anyway?"

"I asked Zayn to bring me."

"How'd you know I was here?" He asked still holding my hand.

"Your mom called, she's worried."

"She's worried?" He repeated relaxing his face.

"Yeah, she called me. What are you doing here?" he let go of my wrist and sat back down, grabbing the beer and taking a big swig. I grabbed the beer for him hand and slid it away from him.

"Please don't drink."

"It numbs the pain." he told me closing his eyes and burping into a closed mouth.

"What pain?" I said back down next to him.

"You hate me."

"What? Hate you? I don't hate you Harry, why would you think that?"

"You don't love me...so you must hate me."

"No, I don't hate you at all. "

"It seemed like it earlier."

"I don't, I was frustrated."

"Because you hate me." he said again.

"Stop saying that! I don't hate you!" I reminded slightly raising my voice. The bartender looked up at me but I smiled indicating that everything was okay.

"Please come home?"

"Home?" he said looking at me.

"Yeah, home. You need to go home."

"With you?"

"No, to your family. Your mom is worried."

"Are you worried?"

"Extremely. Please, can we leave? I don't like it here." I said looking around. He noticed how uncomfortable I was and grabbed my hand stood up.

"Okay, let's go."

"Can you drive?"

"I'm not drunk." he said as we walked to the door.

"Bye lovely!" Louis called from the pool table. I responded with a smile and Harry looked back at him.

"How do you know Louis?"

"I don't." He opened the door and Zayn was standing there hugging himself.

"Hi mate." Harry greeted to him.

"You alright?" Zayn asked placing his hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"I'll take her home." Harry told Zayn.

"Are you sure? Can you even drive, mate?"

"I'm not drunk, yeah I can drive."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, go home." he smiled. Zayn waved goodbye and got into his car and left.

"Does Alan know your here?" he asked unlocking the door and opening mine.

"No."

"Than we should get you home before he wakes up and kills me."

The ride back to the house was quiet. I believed him when he said he wasn't drunk so I wasn't worried about getting into an accident. He put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it as he drove and kept asking me questions.

"Are you warm?"

"Yeah."

"Is it too warm?"

"No."

"Do you want some music?"

"No."

"Should I turn the heat off?"

"No."

"Do you want me to--"

"Harry!" I laughed, "I'm fine!" He smiled in response and the rest of the ride we remained quiet.

"Shit!" I whispered when we pulled up in front of the house. Alan was frantically walking down the stairs in his pajamas and slippers, throwing his coat on. When Harry pulled up, Alan saw and immediately came to my door.

"Get out!" He ordered opening it.

"Whoa, calm down Crossmen!" Harry said jumping out of the car.

"Do you know what time it is!? What the hell are you doing out so late, and without a coat?" he yelled.

"Shh, Alan! Stop yelling!" I told him baffled by his tone.

"Get in the house," he ordered again, "and you, go home." Harry looked at me and I looked back in approval. He slowly go into his car, and drove away.

"In the house, now!" he demanded. I went into the house and walked up the stairs before he stopped me.

"It's one thirty in the morning, what the hell were you doing?" he yelled from the door.

"I was--out."

"Doing what!?" He shouted.

"Stuff." I didn't want to tell him about the bar, that would piss him off even more.

"You're so lucky your mother isn't here, she would've called the police!"

Wasn't she supposed to come home today?

"Where is she?"

"Her flight got delayed, that's not important now. You're grounded. For a week."

"You can't ground me!" I shouted back.

"Yes I can!"

"You're not even my dad you can't do that shit!" without saying another word I ran up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut.

*buzz* I angrily pulled my phone out of my pocket to see that I got a text from Harry.

Harry <3: Everything okay?

I ignored his message and kicked my boots off before getting back into bed.





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