Pain: Her (Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 44

"Alee! Let's go! You're going to be late!" my mom called from downstairs. I frantically ran around my room trying to get ready for school. Alan offered to drive me but I told him Harry would so he left.

"You have thirty five minutes! C'mon!" she yelled for the hundredth time.

Even though it was cold out, I decided to wear a short black high waisted flared skirt with a peach long sleeved shirt that I tucked in, and threw an over-sized, drape nude open cardigan over to help keep me warm. For some reason, I was feeling very fashionable; so to improve my outfit, I wore black socks that pulled over the knees with my black Doc Martens. I stood in front of the mirror and laughed at myself. I looked as though I was going to a fashion show but who cares?

"Aleevonne!" the impatience in my mothers voice was evident and I grabbed my bag and ran down. I threw it on the chair and leaned over the table to grab a muffin and she leaned against the sink and watched me.

"What?" I asked biting into my muffin.

"Why are you all dressed up? It's just school." she said dryly.

"I don't know." I mumbling shrugging.

"I like your hair like that." she compliment my high bun.

"Thanks, I like your boobs like that." I smiled staring at her half exposed chest.

"Why thank you. Alan did too." she smirked grabbing her purse and I practically threw up my muffin, "well.." she looked down at her watch, "it's eight. Do you need a ride?"

"No, Harry's driving me." I smiled sitting down and crossing my legs.

"Alright well, uh--" she paused to say something else but didn't, "Okay then." she nodded walking to the door, "I won't be home until later tonight so Alan might order out."

"Okay!" I said with a full mouth. She blew a kiss goodbye and left. I pulled my phone out from my cardigan pocket and called Harry.

"Hey babe, I was just about to call you." he sounded off.

"Are you okay?" I asked picking bits of the muffin from my teeth.

"I'm sorry love, I'm not going to school." his voice was raspy and uneasy which made me worried.

"How come? What's wrong?"

"My wrist hurts like hell and my mum made me take the pills and now I'm all weak and tired. I'm sorry babe, I really am. I can still drive you." he offered through grunts and groans.

"Awe, I'm sorry!" I said sympathetically, "and no no! Stay home; get some rest."

"Are you sure? I'll drop you off now, it's fine." I can tell he was too tired, his voice said it all.

"No, it's okay!" I assured hopping off my seat, "you sound horrible." I pouted.

"I know." he groaned, "who will drive you?" he asked quietly.

"My mom." I lied. I didn't want him to worry and I really didn't want him to drive me while in pain.

"I'm really sorry." he apologized again.

"It's okay," I smiled at his sweetness, "go sleep."

"Okay, I'll try and drop by later, alright?"

"Only if you feel better." I said flopping down on the couch staring at the blank tv.

"Regardless." he said and I smiled.

"I'll call you when I get out, okay?"

"Alright. I love you."

"I love you too." I hung up the phone and threw it on the coach next to me.

Now what? School is only 10 minutes away but if I walked I would get there late. I would stay home but Alan would flip shit. He's one of those teachers who doesn't believe in "unexcused absences." I can't call my mom because she's most probably stuck in traffic on her way to work and Alan is already at school setting up for class and he'd get into trouble if he left...maybe I should call Zayn.

He said to call him if I needed anything and I need a ride, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind. I put my phone to my ear and waited for him to answer and just as I went to hang up, he picked up.

"Goodmorning!" I greeted.

"Hey! What's up?"

"I kind of need a favor." I said biting my nails.

"What do you need?"

"A ride to school..if that's alright?" I began to shake my legs.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, do you need a ride now or..?"

"Yeah, now. My parents left and I don't have a ride.."

"And Harry?"

"He's home. He doesn't feel well."

"Okay, I'll be there soon." he said into the phone and sighed in relief.

"Alright, thanks."

"No problem."

Once he hung up the phone, I turned the tv and watched a little clip of 'Saved By The Bell.' I haven't seen that show in years and the memories of sitting on the couch as a child watching it with my dad come to mind. I really miss him. He's been gone for so long and I always wonder what he's up to. I wish he could stop by once in a while but I know he wouldn't fly all the way from L.A just to "drop by." Ugh. I hate sitting alone in silence; it always leads me to think about things that make me emotional.

Even though I slept for a solid eleven hours, I'm still tired. How is that even possible? I don't know. But I should probably make some coffee or something to wake me up. Just as I stood up, I saw Zayn pull up from outside the window and he honked his horn.

"I'm outside :)" he texted and I ran to the chair and grabbed my bag. I quickly looked through it to make sure I had my keys and when I heard them dangling, I took them out and locked the door behind me. It wasn't as cold as yesterday, but it was still cold enough to make me shiver. Once I sat in the car, the heat was on and my body relaxed.

"Hi!" I smiled leaning in and kissing his cheek.

"Morning, oh I bought you coffee." he extended his arm and lifted the Starbucks coffee from the cup holder and handed it to me.

"That's so weird! I wanted to make some before you came, thanks!" I smiled taking it from his hands and drinking it, "whoa! that's good!"

"It's what I usually get." he explained as he drove. When I took a sip of my coffee, he stopped at a red light and rested his hands on his lap, "you look...cute..today." he randomly said looking at me up and down.

"Do I?" I smiled looking down as if I had no idea what I was wearing.

"I don't even remmeber the last time you wore a skirt." he smiled wrapping his hand around the wheel.

"I know! It's been a while but, I don't know. I felt..girly today." I giggled crossing my legs. He nodded his head and gave a half smile before shifting lanes to take an exit.

"When does class start?" he asked.

"Eight thirty." I said looking at the clock that said eight twenty.

"We'll get there." he assured with confidence.

"So what did you guys do yesterday?" he wondered picking the skin from his bottom lip.

"We went shopping. We bought our outfits for the ball." I brought the cup to my lips and took another sip.

"Ball?" he looked at me with furrowed eye brows, "you don't go to balls. Aleevonne Core doesn't do balls." he laughed.

"Yeah but, I don't know," I stuck my bottom lip out, "it looks fun."

"And he agreed to go?" he asked pulling up in front of the school.

"Yeah, he even offered to buy the outfits without me reminding him about it." I uncrossed my legs and pulled the mirror down to make sure my makeup was okay.

"Ah, then! He's probably excited to go himself."

"Maybe." I shrugged opening my door, "thank's so much for the ride! You're a life saver!" I beamed leaning in and giving him another kiss on the cheek, this time he kissed me back.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" he asked as I stepped out.

"I don't think so. Alan will probably drive me but I'll let you know!"

"Alright, be careful!"

"You too!" I waved goodbye with the cup in my hand and he drove away. I skipped steps into the school and checked the time and only had two minutes to spare.

I have P.E first period and ran to the basement where the gym was and walked in.

"I almost thought I'd be giving out detentions." Mr. Joseph said walking over with his clipboard.

"Yeah, sorry." I walked passed him to the benches.

"Not going to change?" he asked.

"No." I said crossing my legs and holding my coffee in my hands.

"Well at least participate." he said pulling the pen from behind his ear.

"I don't feel like it." I groaned and he sighed.

"Well, that's a zero for participation then." he shrugged walking away.

For the whole period, I sat and watched the boys play basketball on the half court and the girls play volleyball on the other half. Guys are so competitve, it's actually hilarious. If they miss a shot, they go crazy and start yelling and shoving and whatnot. After about twenty minutes of watching, Mr. Joseph sat beside me. He placed his clip board beside him and intertwined his fingers, letting them hang between his open legs.

"So, you and Harry, huh?" he said watching the basekball get passed to another player.

"Yeah, where have you been?"

"No I mean, I knew," he cleared, "how's that working out?"

"Fine." I smiled.

Mr. Joseph was the one who tried to keep me away from him by saying "he's dangerous" and "you'll get sucked into his game and you'll never win." It's just a misconception of his. He looks at Harry and think's he's some bad kid because of his tattoo's and piercing but obviously he's not. He should know he isn't, he was on his soccer team in freshmen year, if anything he should know Harry pretty well.

"That's good. Where is he by the way?"

I wasn't going to tell him what really happened. I'll let Harry tell him on his own.

"He wasn't feeling well." I lied as my eyes went back and forth watching the ball switch to different players.

"Yeah? What's wrong with him?" he pressed the subject.

"Uh, headache."

"That's it?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Yup." I sucked in my lips and averted my attention to the game.

"Oh. Okay." he stood up, "be careful, alright."

"Alrighty." I gave a closed smile.

Shit like this really upsets me. Why should I be careful? Why was he so concerned? Why did he keep pressing the subject? I swear, he know's something I don't and it's beginning to bother me. Everyone, it seems, seems to be hiding something from me. Why do I think this? I don't know, but I just over think and allow things to get to me quickly.

I didn't fall asleep right away yesterday. Just as I did the thought of Ava and Liam came to mind and I shot open my eyes. I don't think you understand what it's like seeing your ex with your best friend, I think it's something that someone really shouldn't go through. But I mean, like I said before I don't have proof of anything but..you know that feeling you get where you KNOW something is up and you can't deny it and the feeling is just so strong you can't possibly think you're wrong? That's what I have. I feel like something is up and that I'm not just crazy and seeing and imagining things. I want to ask her, but how would I? What if she's not? She'll hate me for thinking that because she'll say some shit like "why would I do that to my best friend?" And even if she is, of all guys...Liam? I mean seriously, what the fuck. It's sickening.

"Alright! Get changed and get to class! Better hurry I'm not writing a pass if you're late!" Mr. Joseph blew his whistle and announced to the class. Everyone dropped their equipment and ran to the locker rooms. I took my time exiting the gym because there was no rush.

"Alee!"

"Shawn!" I smiled. I haven't talked to him in forever.

"Hey!" he hugged me tightly.

"Ew, you're sweaty!" I twisted my face in digust and held out my hands.

"Sorry." he laughed, "how have you been? I haven't talked to you since like...last month." I walked with him down the hall to the guys locker room.

"Yeah, sorry I guess I've been really busy." with Harry...

"Nah, it's all good! We should hang out sometime." he suggested and I agreed.

"Definitely." I sipped my coffee and crossed my arms over my chest before we reached the boys locker room.

"I'll see you around!" he waved and left.

He's a sweet guy. He was, and I guess still is, one of my closest guy friends...actually, to be quite honest, Zayn seems to be one of my closest guy friends. I feel like we've bonded so much over the passed two or three weeks. As a matter of fact, come to think of it, it seems as though he started to care more about me when he found out Liam hit me on my birthday. That was a bit weird for me because I've never seem him act like that, especially towards me. He's such a sweetheart though, he bought me coffee for God sakes. To me that's a sweetheart...I don't know about other people but I like how caring he is towards me. He was never like that so I like the new attitude.

I took one last sip and threw the cup away before heading up to class. I had English 3 with Alan and it went well, I guess. I mean I fell asleep most of the class but the time that I was awake, I learned a lot...just kidding no I didn't I don't remember anything. Harry always kept me awake with his jokes and all. I love having him in all my classes and I'm so used to him being around me all the time so it felt weird and somewhat lonely without him. I don't really have friends, to be quite honest. Everyone here used to be until Liam and I broke up and they sort of just...left me. I'm used to it so loneliness isn't something that bothers me anymore.

"Aleevonne!" Mrs. Croulet held me back as everyone walked out of our last period class to go home.

"Yeah?" I smiled.

"Are you alright? You seemed a bit down today." concern washed over her eyes and expression as she walked over to her desk.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I bit my bottom lip.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, "it's not because Harry wasn't here, is it?" she smiled sitting down.

"Well..." I traced circles on her desk and she laughed.

"I know how you feel, darling!" she placed her hand ontop of mine and tapped it.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah! My high school boyfriend was in every class with me. And when he was absent, oh gosh! A wave of sadness and loneliness would wash over me! I think it was because I was in love with him so his absence effective me." she sucked in her lips and furrowed her bows as she nodded her head.

"That's exactly it." I nodded and she snapped her fingers.

"I knew it." she said opening her bag of chips.

"Yeah, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, yeah! If you need to talk, you know about Harry and his guy things, just let me know." she winked and I bust out laughing, "what?" she asked.

"Guy things?"

"I mean like, guy problems...you know? I meant with relatioshi--oh just leave!" she waved her hand in front of me and laughed, "be careful now!" she called and I walked backwards waving goodbye.

By the time I walked the halls, it was empty. Everyone had already left and it was weird being surrounded by such silence when I've been around noise all day. I threw my bag over my shoulder and watched my feet as I walked towards the exit.

I can't wait to go home, I hope Harry is well enough to stop by. I've missed him so much I just want to hug him and hold him forever. I miss his arms around me and I've been yearning for his touch all day, so I'm pretty anxious. As I was walking, I heard someone talking and being the nosey person that I am, I slowed down and walked towards the voice to listen.

"Okay, but did you tell her?" the man whispered. Oh! Tell her what? I was growing curious. I couldn't recognize his voice yet but as he talked louder I began to figure it out.

"Don't fucking do that. Shut up!"

Liam...?

"I don't give a shit! I'm telling you right now not to say anything, do you hear me?" he growled into the phone. I hid behind the lockers as he spoke to the mystery person and listened.

"Ava!" he said through his teeth and my eyes widened, "if you say something, look what I'll do. Don't fucking make me do something I'll regret. Just stop worrying, she won't find out."

My whole body was burning with anger and betrayal and just every emotion possible. I stepped back slowly as he yelled into the phone threatening her and telling her not to tell me. Tears formed quickly in my eyes as I walked backwards and my heart was beating out of my chest. The warm tears slid down my cheek as I turned and ran to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and locked it, throwing my bag on the floor and pacing back and forth holding my stomach and rubbing my forehead.

This can't be happening.

This can't be true!

I wanted to punch the wall and kick it till' my legs broke off. I wanted to scream and shout and just cry my heart out but I couldn't. I dropped to the floor and cried as my palm held me up against the floor. How could she do this me? I thought we were friends, I thought she hated him. She always told me how much of an asshole he was and how much she hated his guts for doing what he did to me. And now look at her!

I cried hard into my hand trying not to be too loud. She was the one person I trusted with all my heart and now she lost every bit of respect from me.

I immediately stopped crying when my phone rang and I stood up in a panic, "hello?" I said caging my tears trying to hide the lump in my throat.

"Alee? Where are you?" Harry asked. And for some reason, the sound of his voice made me cry even more. I removed the phone from my ear and cried into my hand silently so he wouldn't hear me, "Aleevonne?"

"Yeah?" I cleared my throat.

"Babe, I'm outside. Where are you?" my heart began to race faster and the panic increased more.

"I'm in the bathroom, I'll be out in a few minutes." I told him wiping my smudged makeup with my hand.

"Oh, take your time. I'll be here."

"Okay."

He said something but I hung up too quickly to hear him. I grabbed some paper towel and rinsed it under warm water to dab away my smudged makeup. The more I wiped it away, the harder I cried. I would stop...then start again..and just repeated it over and over, making it impossible for me to completely control myself.

She know's what kind of man he is; she know's what he'll do to her. He has a tempter and not only that he's abusive! Mentally and physically, how could she possible want to put up with that? I told her every single thing he had done to me yet she still goes after him. Ava and Liam? It makes me want to throw up. Him kissing her and her kissing him..touching each other. Jesus, it's sickening! It's disgusting!

I washed my face and applied little coverup and mascara before grabbing my bag and collecting myself. I walked back and forth trying to remain calm and to keep myself from completely breaking down when seeing Harry. I know I will; I'll know I'm just going to fall into his arms and cry but I can't do that. I can't show any emotion. He's in enough pain as it is and he's has enough problems of his own and I refuse to let him worry or stress over mine.

I pulled the door open and hugged myself as I walked as fast as I could out the building. Liam was still talking on the phone when I walked by but I blocked him out. If I heard another word from his mouth I'd probably kill him there. I ran down the stairs and into his car, shutting the door and throwing my bag between my legs and crossing them.

"Hey." he smiled leaning in to kiss me. I tried hard to kiss him but I failed miserably.

"How's your wrist?" I managed to asked.

"Better. How was your day?" he twirled his lip ring around as his elbow rested on the door.

"Fine." I shook my head forcing a smile.

Liam and Ava.

Ava and Liam.

"You alright?" he did a double take and when he looked back at me, he kept his eyes on me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I grabbed his hand and held it in mine. He half smiled and squeezed it, bringing it to his lips and kissing it, "you look beautiful today." he said as I brought our hands to my lap.

"Thank you." I let out a little laugh through my nose and turned to look out the window. My face faintly reflected off it while I stared at the trees and road beside me as he drove.

Liam and Ava.

Liam and Ava.

That was all I could think about. How did this happen? What possessed her to go after him? The thought makes me want to gag. I can't even explain how hard I tried not to cry in the car. He kept asking me over and over if I was okay but the more he asked the more emotional I became.

"No one's home so you're coming over with me." he said pulling up in his neighborhood.

"Okay." I simply said.

My voice was so low and unrecognizable. The lump in my throat kept preventing me from talking. He parked in front of his house and got out the car to open my door. I took deep but quick breaths before he reached my side and when he did, he held my hand and walked me in.

"I've missed you." he said locking the door, and that was it. It just triggered me. He was behind me as I walked into the living room, and when I turned around with tears rushing down my face his eyes widened and he ran to me.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he cupped my face and tried wiping away the tears with his thumb but they were falling down too quickly. I tried speaking but the sobs held them back, "babe?!" he pulled me into his chest and placed his hand behind my head, pressing the side of my face against his chest, "what's wrong?" he begged to know and I pulled away running my fingers through my hair.

"Liam and Ava are together." I closed my eyes and covered my face allowing myself to cry in front of him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, appeasing me and telling me 'it's okay.'

"How could she do that!?" I angrily asked pulling away, "for fuck sakes, Harry! Liam?!" I shouted at him, "of all God damned people, him?! Ugh I should've known!" I yelled in disgust. I shivered when I imagined them kissing and grabbed my hair in frustration and tugged at it.

"Behind my back, all of this! All of that! They did it behind my back!" my voice cracked and I began to take deep breaths. He stood before me with furrowed eye brows but didn't seem so surprised. He watched me yell and scream and ball my fists in anger, allowing me to let it all out.

"How could they do that me?" I whispered with my hand on my chest, "how?" my voice was almost inaudible. I let my head hang and I cried covering my face again. Harry shuffled over to me and hugged yet again.

Even his hug didn't calm me, it didn't do anything to me like I had hoped. It felt good yelling and screaming and crying, but only for that split minute.

"I know babe, I know." he quietly said rubbing my back.

"You know?" I asked pulling away and he looked at me, "what do you mean you know?"

"What?" he swallowed pulling away, "what are you talking about?"

Please tell me I'm just over reacting.

"D--did you know?" I gasped backing away from him. He didn't answer and only responded by exhaling deeply, "oh my God!" I yelled in digust, "you did know!"

"I can explain..." he calmly said trying to wrap his arms around me but I slapped it away.

"Harry!" I cried, I literally cried, "you knew and you didn't tell me? I thought I could trust you!" I screamed pushing him farther away from me.

"You can trust me!" he said walking closer to me, "this is exacatly what I was trying to prevent from happening! I didn't want to see you so uspset!"

"So I had to find out by him telling her over the phone not to tell me!?" I screamed, "how could you do this to me? You walked around for day's knowing this shit bothered me and even said at the party that you---" I stopped myself and my eyebrows relaxed, "the party.." I breathed looking away holding in my tears, "oh my God, the party!" it sunk in and I began to yell again, "I asked if you knew who she was and you said no!"

"Aleevonne, calm down, please! I know I should've told you okay? I'm sorry babe I re--"

"Shut up! Shut up!" I yelled turning around and rubbing my forehead, "you knew all this time and didn't tell me because you were afraid of my reaction?" disgust planted on my face as I slowly turned back to face him, "it's worse now Harry, how can I trust you!?"

"You can trust me , you know that! Don't let this change your thoughts about me, please!" he begged grabbing my hands but I pulled them away, "Aleevonne, listen.." he licked his lips, "I swear I wanted to tell you but how? We've been so happy and on a good level I didn't want to fuck that up."

"You're not making any sense! You not telling me fucked everything up! I hate when you do this! You always do this!" I shouted wiping my tears away with my palm.

"Do what?"

"Not tell me things! I always have to somehow force or get it out of you! You never willingly tell me anything anymore! I'm so fucking sick of you hiding things from me Harry, why would you do that!?" I screamed stepping up to him and pushing him by his chest, "I tell you everything! Everything he did to me I told you everything about my family, every possible detail about my life you know! And you?" I backed away in disgust as I watched his heart break, "you hide shit from me! You never tell me anything, I don't know anything about you! I swear you're a stranger to me!" he clenched his jaw and his eyes held strong hurt as my words came at him one after the other.

"What was I supposed to say?" he yelled interrupting me, "that your best friend is fucking your ex? Is that what you want to hear?" he yelled even louder.

"Yes!" I screamed in his face, "it's better then finding out the way I did! You knew! Do you not uderstand that?" I shouted holding my hand out in front of me, "I asked you if you knew her and you said no. You fucking said no! You lied to my face! And here I was taking your word and beliving you didn't know her. God!" I groaned turning away, "and even at Zayn's house!" I remembered shutting my eyes tightly, "she smelled just like him! I knew it, I fucking knew it!"

"Wait..." he stopped.

"Why were you at Zayn's house?"

"Because no one was home and I asked him to pick me up, that's why." I said through anger.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Oh shut up!" I sighed, "you always do this! You always turn this on me! Who cares if I was at his house it's not like we had sex or any--" he grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward, cutting me off and startling me.

"Don't say shit like that to me, do you understand!?" he yelled and Liam's face appeared before me. I gasped and pushed him away and backed up as if he were a monster.

"You're a horrible person." I said shaking my head, "I can't trust you anymore, I can't do this.." I said quietly to him and his eyes began to water.

"Aleevonne, you don't understand, I was doing it for you!"

"No." I said as calmly as possible, "you did it for you, so that we wouldn't argue and that you could be happy. I trusted you." I pulled my eyebrows together in disbelief. I shook my head and picked up my bag from off the floor and began to walked away.

"Where are you going?" he stepped in front of me.

"Home."

"No you're not." he said walking forward making me walk backwards, "please, I'm sorry!" he begged cupping my face but I slapped it away.

"Who am I supposed to turn to now?" I asked sucking in my lips trying to hold in my cries.

"Me, babe me!" he pulled his shirt from his chest, "I'm so sorry, okay? I'm sorry." he whispered grabbing my hands but I couldn't stand his touch.

For the first time ever, I couldn't stand him touching me. I couldn't stand looking at him and I couldn't stand being in his presence.

"I'm leaving. Move." I pushed him away so hard that he stumbled, giving me time to open the door and run out.

"Alee!" he called running after me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back so hard that I fell into his chest.

"No!" I cried lifting my hand and suddenly slapping him. His head shot to the right and he looked straight forward as my hand print began to mark his face. I swallowed hard and without saying or doing anything else, I walked away. I hugged myself tightly picking up my pace trying my best not to look back as the tears stung my eyes.

Of all people, I trusted him. I didn't overreact, I should've pushed him and hit him more for not telling me. I tell him everything! I told him about Liam hitting me and touching me, I told him about my past; everything! I always have to force him to tell me things and he always thinks its "best for us." It's not! It's ruining us! I thought I could trust him, I thought he was the only person I could trust but now, I trust no one. The look on his face when I told him I was done printed in my head but I didn't care. Obviously I didn't mean it but I hope he's hurt. I hope he's feeling bad, hell! I hope he's crying his fucking eyes out because he deserves it! I'm his girlfriend he has to tell me things like this. He always tells me to tell him everything and the time I need him the most he remains silent. And the fact that he lied to my face, right to my face pisses me off even more making me want to go back and slap him again. I'm so sick of people lying and hiding things from me. I'm so sick of feeling this way it's breaking me down and no one seems to care. I thought Harry did, but obviously not.

I wasted no time in running up the stairs to my house and right when I opened the door Ava, Zayn, and her mom were sitting in the living room with Alan; laughing and having a good time.



*hope you enjoyed the chapter! I hope you guys have a great and an amazing thanksgiving! please don't forget to comment vote and share!*