Chapter 41

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Ariana's P.O.V.

Today I decided to miss school again. I am so embarrassed by what went down on Monday that I'm not ready to face anyone yet.

I've decided to get out of the house today. My room felt like the walls were caving in on me. I've literally cried myself to sleep the past two nights. I couldn't take being in the house anymore.

The sun is out and the clouds are visible in the sky. The air all around me smells fresh.

I walk into the Bakersfield Cemetery with a few flowers held in my hands. I've decided to finally visit my parents gravestones. I didn't go to the burial service when they were buried. I only went to the funeral service at the church because I was to upset and sad to come see them get buried.

I've always wanted to come and visit them but I've never had the courage to until today.

I'm at a really terrible and scary point in my life right now. I just got my heart broken and I'm about to head off to college. These are the moments when I need my parents the most and it really sucks that they aren't here for me.

I pass a whole bunch of gravestones until I reach the two with names I recognize.

Joan and Edward Grande.
Loving parents and great friends.
Date Of Death-February 26, 2015

I drop down on my knees in front of their gravestones and place the flowers in front of their stones.

"Hey mom, Hey dad"I smile and begin.

"I know it's taken me a long time to come and visit you and I'm really sorry for that. I just haven't been ready to come and see you guys. I really miss you both so much. Your lives were taken away from you way too soon"I say and tears begin to form in my eyes.

"The past few days, my life has gone downhill. You remember Justin right? We used to be best friends growing up and you both used to be close to his parents"I tell them.

"Well, we both got close again and started dating. I thought he loved me but it turns out I was wrong. He literally took away my innocence just for some stupid money. I know I said I wanted to wait for someone that I truly knew would always be there for me, but I was a fool and I fell for the trap. To think I actually loved him back and trusted him with my heart. Pathetic huh?"I chuckle.

"What makes things worse is that I'm literally graduating this Sunday. It sucks because you both won't be there to see me accept my diploma. You won't be there to see a lot of things actually. Like me graduating college, or walking down the aisle and getting married, or even having children"I say and begin to breakdown. Tears start to fall quickly down my face and I don't stop them.

"Why did you have to leave me here alone? I'm not ready to grow up and be an adult yet. Now I have to go to college all by myself with no one there by my side. I have to learn to live by myself and be responsible. I don't want to do any of that. All I want is for things to go back the way they were. I want to be able to see your face again and tell you all of my problems face to face. I want to be able to get mad and upset at you guys again when you wouldn't let me go to a party or I got a bad grade. I want to be able to laugh with you guys again and make fun of dad for his stupid and corny jokes. I want to be able to bond with you mom and for you to teach me all the things I need to know in life. I want..... I just want.... I want you both back"I sob and bring my hands up to cry in them.

I stay like that and cry in front of their gravestone for who knows how long. I clutch onto the necklace they gave me and hold it tight to my chest.

I continue to cry and rock myself back and forth until I feel a hand press onto my shoulder.

I turn my head to see the one face I never expected to see again.

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