HOLLOW » Zarry ✔⚠

2

Zayn has reasons for the way he is. One can say he was born that way and sure, that's slightly true. Because his mother knew the moment he was born that her baby was different. She just always thought he'd grow out of it so she made herself believe that and she ignored the reality. And Zayn's hiding doesn't help or make a way for her point of view to change anytime soon either.

But if one wants to be technical, it actually started at age thirteen. When he was thirteen, he struggled with puberty hard. It was kind enough to give him drop dead gorgeous looks, but the aftermath and the consequences were not quite so generous.

During that time, Zayn was still learning his like, dislikes, his personality... There was a lot involved. But one thing out of all this really screwed him over. He began to realize  that he was a bit confused with himself. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to like the guys or the girls. When those thoughts started happening, so did the figure and the voice. Sometimes at night, when he'd go to sleep and the mysterious white figure was there, Zayn would pour out his heart to it. Once when he had done it, it told him "Be who you really are."

But who is he? He doesn't know. He thought joining the soccer team in his freshman year would help him figure it out. But that's when he met Harry. That's when Harry started to touch him and that was the beginning of when he began to slowly value his life as empty and valueless...

Hollow.

Highschool sucks is what Zayn quickly found out the very first week of freshman year. And even though he is now in the 11th grade and has been on the school's soccer team since then, he still isn't comfortable in the locker rooms-- the place where he and his teammates should be a family. He's still getting used to the fact that the guys here treat each other differently than they do him. They joke around and horseplay with each other, but they ignore Zayn as if he isn't even there. Well... Everyone except Harry and three other irrelevant guys which are Harry's followers and members of the team.

Harry likes to reach in Zayn's shower and change his comfortable setting of running water to scorching hot or freezing cold because he likes for Zayn to run out of it totally embarrassed and covering himself. It's a good laugh for he and his boys as always, and Zayn can't figure out if this is worse than death or not.

Probably.

Wait a second. What am I saying? It is worse than death. Anything is worse than death.

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Zayn is standing on the sidelines waiting for the first match of the fall season to start. But he knows he won't get in the game because-- well let's face it-- even though he wants to, this is the real world. And in the real world, he never gets in. The thought of it makes him feel scared and lonely. He joined this team for one thing. And not getting in games is defeating all his intended purposes. Zayn clasps his hands together lightly as if that will stop him from crying.

It doesn't.

"You're crying because you can't get in? Wow, you're a sissy."

Of course it's none other than Harry. This is how he acts when his friends are there standing beside him to laugh and joke at Zayn as well. It never fails.

"Ha! Crying? That's so pathetic!" Zayn avoids his blue eyes.

"Have fun keeping the bench warm for us." Zayn ignores his blonde hair shimmering in the light.

"What he said." And Zayn wants to cut this guys face right at his skinny beard.

But he doesn't.

Instead, he keeps it all inside and he refrains from ripping his jersey away from his body. He refrains from the suicidal thoughts that are knocking at the door of his brain and he does his best to pretend.

One little soccer match and it'll all be over Zayn. One little match and you can go home and lock yourself away.