The Professional Prostitute

Chapter Fifty

A/N: Hey guys! So I'm back and here is a new chapter of TPP! I know you all were dying for this to go up and here it is! Sorry I had to keep you all waiting. I've been super busy but I finally have figured out the perfect way to end this book. There are a few more chapters following this one. I won't keep this note long, inbox me or comment and let me know what you guys think! Love you all and thanks for sticking with me!

Chapter Fifty

I felt weak. My body felt numb. There were no thoughts running through my mind. Nothing. My heart felt as if it had stopped. The world around me was moving but I was stuck. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to be bothered. I was in denial about everything that just happened. I didn't want to believe it was true. I couldn't. How could it be? All in a matter of moments, two important people were ripped from my world. And I witnessed it all and did nothing. I helped no one. Will killed Tony and it was all my fault Will killed himself. I made things hard on him. I made him feel guilty. If I hadn't said a thing, there's a strong possibility he would still be here. Not just for Summer but for me as well.

I never really wanted things with me and Will to end. It just seemed like he was always doing wrong, even when he wasn't. I hated surprises and that's exactly what I got finding out Charlotte was pregnant. He kept it from me for so long. Even had me congratulating her for Christ's sake! Then there was the situation with him and Nadine, then him and his bleach blonde Barbie of an ex-wife Karen, and I'm sure there were more that I never even knew about.

Don't get me wrong, Will was a great man, one whom at times I admired. He was successful, smart, handsome, fun, and generous. I'd never had any good men in my life. And I didn't expect everything to turn out the way it did that first day I walked into his office. Things worked out far more differently. Years ago, I never would've imagined being someone's mother. Never even dreamt about having a child. But he changed all that. He made me the most important person in someone's life. He showed me what unconditional love felt like. I loved him with my all, but Summer, she was my everything. He gave me the biggest blessing ever in this world, a child. My child. Our child. And now he was gone. Ripped out of our lives by a bullet. Stolen. He would miss her first steps, her first words, her first birthday, when she would learn how to go to the potty alone, her first day of school, her first school trip, her first dance, her first date, her first boyfriend, her prom, her graduation, her wedding, her first child...he wouldn't be around for anything of hers. All those moments that mean so much in a girl's life, she wouldn't be able to share with her father. And I was partially to blame. I pushed Will out of our lives. I was selfish. I wanted him to hurt as much as I did because of what he'd done with Charlotte. So I took away the only thing I knew he loved more than me. I tried my hardest to keep him away from her, little by little. And now, he was gone completely. Forever. No coming back. What would I tell her as the years go on? That her father was a good man? That he died because mommy was too blind to see all the bullshit that was going on? That I looked for things that were never there? That she should blame me because if I wouldn't have overreacted, her father would still be here.

How would I provide for Summer without Will? He was my employer as well. What I made at the company wasn't nearly what other secretaries were making. My salary was twice theirs. Plus he was the rich one. I doubt he even prepared a will. He was so young. And if he did, I'm pretty sure it was done way before me and Summer became a part of his life. Would Karen be a bitch and fire me? She was part owner of the company. She would. There's no doubt in my mind. I knew she didn't give a shit about what happened to me or my child. Would I be considered an unfit mother? Would they take away my child because I could no longer provide for her the lifestyle she was born into. Would Will's parents help out or would they turn their backs on us? It was my fault he was gone. Would they be the ones to take Summer away from me?

I needed to snap out of this. I looked down at my hands, which were covered in dried blood. My clothes and shoes ruined by blood and dirt. I was shaking. That I felt. But no pain. No emotion. I was numb, if that makes any sense. All I saw underneath me was gray concrete. I looked around. I was sitting in the back of an ambulance as a paramedic checked me for any injuries. I don't know how long I've been sitting here. Apparently long enough for the news to be out here, the fire department, the police, and a whole bunch of bystanders.

"Jasmine!" I heard Sean scream out my name. I looked up. "I'm trying to tell you something and you keep blocking out what I'm saying." He said almost sounding desperate.

"I'm sorry. I can't focus right now. Can we talk about this later?" I asked looking off into another direction.

"This can't wait Jas."

"Well it's gonna have to. I really don't wanna talk about anything right now."

"It's about-"

"I said I don't wanna talk right now!" I screamed over him. I saw my mom and Nadine running towards me, followed by two police officers.

"Oh Jasmine. What happened? Are you okay?" My mother asked taking in my appearance. "Is this your blood? What happened?"

"No." I managed to get out before the tears began to fall. I couldn't help it. "I tried to stop him. I told him to put the gun down." I cried shaking violently into my mothers embrace.

"Who honey?" She asked as I shook my head.

"Hello. I'm Detective Peters and this is Detective Long. We're trying to figure out the details of what occurred today. Do you mind if we have a chat with her?"

"She's really in no state to talk right now." Sean answered for me.

"Well we need to find out her relationship to one of the deceased and what exactly occurred today."

"I'll take your card and have her give you a call when she's feeling better. Right now I think I should get her and the baby home for some rest." He said as the two detectives looked at one another.

"Who are you to her?" Detective Long asked.

"Her boyfriend."

"Can we ask you a couple of questions then? It'll only take a moment of your time, I promise."

"Yeah okay. Jas, I'll be right back." He said stepping off to the side with the two detectives as Nadine and my mom went over as well, trying to find out what exactly occurred.

I grabbed Summer from out of her stroller and held her close to me as she clapped her little hands and made noises. I looked down at her, tears still flowing. She was all I had left of Will. None of the material things mattered to me. They wouldn't do a thing for us.

"Come on honey. Lets get you home." My mom said walking back over, tears in her eyes. I walked toward the car, holding Summer close to my heart.

Five days had passed and I hadn't left his room. After my mother had taken Summer and I home, I packed a bag and drove to Will's. It felt like the right thing to do. I moved the baby's crib into the bedroom and gave her a bath and fed her before putting her down to sleep. I took a hot shower not too long after and opened up the drawer and took out one of his shirts. Inside I found the box with my engagement ring inside. I felt the tears burning at the back of my eyes. I was trying my hardest not to cry. I couldn't handle another breakdown. I put the ring on and turned off the lights. I crawled up in the bed as my phone rung. The caller id told me it was the police station calling me. I ignored the call and turned my phone off. I didn't want to be bothered. And that is exactly how it remained these past two days. I fed Summer from the bed. I didn't move not once. I wanted to stay here forever. I'd cried myself to sleep until there were no more tears to shed and I was all cried out, smiled at the memories, thought about how a majority of our problems could've been fixed, and realized how much I loved Will.

I knew what I was doing right now was hurting Sean, and that wasn't my intention at all. I was grieving but I also wanted Will back in my life. I loved him. He was the first man to make me feel appreciated and special. He was powerful but he made time for me. He never, not once, hit me. He may have hurt me emotionally, but he never put me down and made me feel as if I weren't good enough. He was encouraging and loving and he changed my life. I laid there for God knows how long just thinking. I never even heard the front door open and close or the footsteps coming up the stairs and toward the room. I never saw the bedroom door open or the person come in.

"Jasmine?" My name I did hear. Confusion I heard as well. And what I saw when I snapped out of my trance and looked up, made me cry tears sea deep.