"I'm not a victim."
It had taken a lot to be here right now. Sitting in front of a camera, responding to the horrible things Joshua had called you. Sick to your stomach, knowing that you'd been doxxed— you wished you could run... But there was nowhere to go.
You were done running from every little thing that went wrong. Done running from yourself and your insecurities.
"And he's not a villain."
The words slipped out easily, easier than you could've ever imagined. Like a spark had been ignited to burn these miserable feelings.
"But he is a goddamn asshole of the nth degree."
« « «
"You shouldn't wear that." Joshua commented from your bed. Manspread with his hands behind his back, staring hard at your outfit.
"What? Why?" You frowned at him, watching your boyfriend through the mirror. "You said you liked this shirt..."
"Yeah, but not when we go out." He hissed in return. "You can't go parading around like you're not taken. Do you know how that reflects on me?"
"Reflects on you?" The words could barely be managed out, whispered, but he caught them. He always caught you.
"Fuck, you're such an idiot. You don't know shit. Just get changed so we can go out." He groaned loudly, shivers running down your spine as his annoyance itched at your frosty skin.
"... Okay. I'll get changed." You turned to smile at him. "Because I love you."
» » »
"We always had petty fights like that." You sighed out, resting a hand on your shoulder. "About stupid things... What we were going to do, what we were going to eat, how I dressed, how he acted..."
Your gaze went upwards as you tried to find the words to explain what it was like. It was the first time you'd explained it all to somebody—somebody's— that hadn't bore witness to the tragedy.
"... We were happy, sometimes, but... I guess we just didn't click. I wouldn't call it a tragedy, really, but— I mean... That night... That night was."
« « «
"Joshua... I'm not feeling great."
"What?"
You gripped the door tightly, biting your lip so hard it bled, legs trembling. "I said... Um... I'm not feeling great..."
"And why the fuck not? You don't look sick." He hissed in return, leaning in close. Without thinking, you took a step back. Anger flashed in his eyes. "Why are you flinching? I'm not going to hurt you—"
"P-Please! Can we please just— just stay in? Tonight?" You were begging, you'd be on your knees if you didn't know how much angrier he'd get at that.
A year. It'd been the year since the start of it all. Everything got worse by the month. His behavior became more and more controlling, more aggressive...
You just didn't want to deal with it. Sometimes it was better when you were in private, and not to mention—
"I'm already fucking here. And I'm dressed at that." He gestured to himself. "It's our anniversary and you want to stay in? I made a fucking reservation, do you know the shit I went through to make this night nice? And you're going to complain?"
"I-I'm not complaining." You uttered out.
He snatched up your wrist, pushing forward into your home and slamming the door.
» » »
"He hit me that night." Tears had begun down your cheeks, and you stared hard at anything else but the camera. "He hit, and punched, and bruised and— and when I called the cops..." Your voice wavered, eyes squeezing shut. "Well, I mean, they handled the situation, at least..."
"... I didn't press charges. I guess I just wanted to run away from it all. But... I'm done with that."
YOU ARE READING
Parasocial // Yanderes x Reader
Teen FictionYou'd found codependency in parasocial relationships before the word had even been invented. On one dark night, you'd decided something for yourself. That being in a parasocial relationship wasn't good enough anymore. You wanted to be more than a fa...
