creatures | r. h

I Just Have To Rant

Sorry guys, if you thought it was an update. I just need to vent out my feeling.

I really FUCKING hate my cousin. I wish I could rip his tongue out, wrap it around his throat, or maybe even sew his fucking mouth shut. He's nine month younger than me, but that doesn't give him power to do whatever he want. I really hope he dies. I know they away that every cousin or sibling hate each other, but for me, I hate him to the point where I hope he gets hits by a car. Wouldn't you hate someone who picks on you? Today I got my haircut, and everyone was telling me that I looked good, and my haircut was pretty. Heck, even my hair stylist, Oscar, told me to smile, and he told me "Sunshine, you need to smile. You're beautiful." He's a really cool guy.

But when I come home, my cousin is just like "I don't see a difference." I've met guys his age, and they're sweathearts. My friends Andrew and Chido are really funny, and do care when something big happens. Like when I fell, they stopped everyone from laying and stayed next to me, and asked me if I was okay.

But my cousin is a whole other story, trust me if you met him, you'd want to kill him bloody. He fucking thinks that he owns the world, and that he can do anything and not get told on. But if I make a simple mistake, I get in trouble. No one fucking knows, how many times I've fell back into depression because of that fucker. Because of that devil I harmed my body to the point of suicide. Both, him and his fucking bitchy sister. In my family's eyes, they're fucking angels. In my eyes, they're the devil. He's always making fun of my bands, and telling me that I'm crazy. Yes, I do suffer of many health issues, but you can't make fun of it. I can't control my temper problem, OCD, and Hyperacidty. It's hard. You try living in my life and you'd understand what it's like. To be neglected. I've never told this to anyone but, all my friends gets to go somehow, brag about it. And I just sit at home wishing to do something.

I got yelled at for watching the MIW yahoo live stream. My grandma told me that I should watch things my own age. I ignored her, and continued to watch my thing. I am forced to fake a smile, every fucking day. To wear a mask on my face, when all you want to do is just fall. I've given up, I just wish to disappear. Just run away.

My cousin, he thinks that he can just walk around owning the place. Well, guess what, you don't own the place, you belong in the fucking dumpster. Do you know how much stress I've gone through? How depressed I've been? All I know is that I FUCKING HATE MY COUSIN, BOTH OF THEM, HIM AND HIS SISTER.