Statehouse/statehumans incorrect quotes/headcanons/ or whatever else I feel like

Enemies from Statehood

(lil' bit of history lesson time :D)

(Also- if you want more detail watch the video above. Or don't I'm not your mom I just write cringe.)

Everyone knows about Michigan and Ohio absolutely hating each other. But only a few know about them trying to kill each other over. 

Flashy backy time!! 

D.C was trying to figure out what to do with the Northwest territory and these kids who would soon become new states.  He didn't know how to split up some of the lands.  He didn't want any major conflicts but he didn't want inaccurate borders for the time being. Rhode Island and other small states were already enough. 

"Hey D.C, I got the map designs for Michigan and Ohio you asked for." N.J said walking into the clearly exhausted man's office. "THANK GOD!!" He yelled rather loudly quickly taking a look at some of the maps. "Wha-What is this?!" 

Some of these maps looked awful. Some of these maps gave more land to Ohio, hell the whole point of this was to be fair. Some of these were very poorly designed and almost made him sick.  "Scrap that! Here's what will do, the map will be a straight line across." The man took a pencil and an empty map of the territory, then drew a straight line between the great lakes surrounding Michigan. "Done! Now I want coffee before I pass out." N.J laughed and the two left the office. 

As a small boy snuck right on in before D.C had shut the door completely. "Let's see what we got here~!" Ohio whispered, going through all of D.C's work. "HEY!! HOW COME HE GETS THE TIP OF THE MIAMI RIVER!!" Ohio growled, clearly D.C was showing favorites of something. Plus the water would be great for his people, I mean waterways are the best way to travel. "I'm sure no one would notice if I just..." The boy quickly grabbed D.C's pencil erasing the original line that was there and replacing it with a new line so he could have the waters. 

Ohio giggled and ran out of the office to play with the other territories. That was easy. 

+Time skip to a few years later+

"HEY MR. DAD WHAT IS THIS!!" Michigan yelled dragging an angry Ohio with him.  D.C turned to see him clutching that map from a few years ago. "What's the issue here? Wait where did you even get this?" D.C took the map from him and looked at it. Truth be told he didn't remember the original border. "HE MESSED WITH IT!!"

"NO, I DIDN'T!!!" 

"YEAH, YOU DID YOU LIAR!!" 

"I DIDN'T TOUCH IT JERK!! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I'M A STATE NOW!!" 

"OF YOU? NEVER!! AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING A JERK?! YOU'RE THE ONE BEING MEAN AND MESSING WITH MR. DAD'S MAPS!! BUTTHOLE!!"

Ohio dramatically gasped and Michigan stuck his tongue out at him. "Boys, please. No namecalling, it's uncalled for. I'll send Edward Tiffin or someone over to have a look at it ok." D.C sighed, he forgot how competitive they could be sometimes. "Hmph! Fine. But I'm going to play with Indiana now." Michigan walked off, he already knew he struck a nerve. Everyone but Indiana knew about his crush on him. "HEY I'M PLAYING WITH INDIANA!!" Ohio ran past Michigan who immediately darted after him. The two boys screaming throughout the house as they raced to his room. 

+Another lot smaller Time skip+

"So it's ok? No problem?" Edward nodded, being an Ohioan we all know what his answer would be. "That's the original border, I don't know how you forgot but I gotta get home now. Wives, ya know?" D.C awkwardly nodded, he'd never really been interested In women nor had time for them so he would make it seem like he was. He didn't believe a man who liked men would be respected as a political authority. So why bother worrying about love anyway? He's too busy for it regardless. Edward left the oval office heading to his own home.