Shy From The Spotlight - Alexander Hamilton x Reader

Fifty-Five

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day, skipping dinner. I was debating whether to mail the letter to Alexander the entire time! Would he take it as intimate? Would he not? Would he take it seriously? I swallowed and stared at the letter for the fiftieth time in the past hour.

Cons? He takes it as intimate. He doesn't take it seriously. He ignores me after ignoring him for so long.

Pros? He understands it isn't intimate. He takes it seriously. He helps me immediately. He guides me and calms me.

Four to three. I grabbed the letter and finally left my room. My family had yet to notice and were talking at dinner. I took a quiet breath and walked down the stairs. I held up the letter a bit. "Letters to mail!" I said, putting it down. The shout startled my family.

They all looked to me and I gave them a forced smile. "O-Ok." Angelica said carefully. I nodded and went back to my room slowly. I shut my door and stared at my vanity. My eyes were still red and puffy, my hair messy. I scowled and brushed my hair aggressively. I splashed my face again and sighed.

C/N will be fine. He will be fine. He will be alive. I nodded to myself before  looking down at my skirt. The outer layer had a large rip from the knee to the hem. Luckily, my under skirts prevented skin from showing. I sighed and changed into a paler red dress before poking my head out.

"A-Alana?" I shouted. I heard a yelp of excitement before feet running up. Soon enough, my personal servant was pushing past me into my room. "Finally!" She said.

I laughed a bit. "I have been waiting for four years for you to purposely put me to work!" She said. She was one of the few slaves that enjoyed assisting people. Maybe it was because I made my family treat them right.

I shook my head and handed her my torn dress. She grinned and sat on my bed, pulling out a needle and thread from a secret pocket. I sat beside her to learn.

"I-I heard about C/N. Is that how you ripped your dress?" She asked quietly. I nodded and she nodded. She did a cross stitch and sighed. "Do you know what the color red means?" She asked, but not in a condescending way. I shook my head. I chose the color because it looked good on me.

"Well, it means a variety of things; life, health, war, courage, love. Most common is blood. Most think blood is bad, but why?" I shrugged. "Because it means death. But death also means new life. This war has lead to so much death, but so we can have a better, new life." That makes so much sense.

"Why do the Redcoats where red?" I shrugged again. "Because it's intimidating. That's why your parents bought you a red dress when you were a wee one." I blinked. That's why? She gave me a small smile. "My Mum was your father's seamstress, sewing things like this." She gestures to my dress.

I nodded and she started stitching again. "Being a Schuyler slave is in the family." She said. Just the fact that 'Schuyler slave' was a term made me cringe. She chuckled at my face and held up the dress. "All good!" She said. I hugged her tightly and she smiled. I took the dress and she cupped my cheek.

"Stay my red dressed girl." She said before leaving. I smiled after she shut to door and looked outside. Sunset was rather loud today. I mean the people at this time, of course. Not the literal sun setting.

I sighed and looked up at my ceiling. I was probably overreacting right? Because he's strong. He'll make it. I know he will. He will. Right?

I exhaled and looked back forward. I shook away my negative thought that threatened to take over and inhaled again. There was a knock and I jumped. "It's Elizabeth."

I sighed and made myself presentable. "Come in." I said quietly. The door creaked open and my elder sister walked in before shutting it again. "You alright?" She asked lovingly.

I nodded a bit. "I've hit a reality and now I'm less concerned." I said. She gave me a look that said Reality? Do tell. I said down on my bed and she sat beside me. "Well, when I hugged Mr.C/L/N, I realized that I had a few concerning thoughts." She angled her head.

"Like if C/N was going to die and I wouldn't get notice for days. What if he gets lost or attacked?" She put a hand to her chest. "But then I realized that you probably go through these thoughts on a daily basis with Alexander at war." I said softly. I heard her take a sharp breath before she nodded.

"With Alexander in such a dangerous place, I try to keep busy. I advise you to do the same. Keeping busy works wonders." She said lightly. I nodded this time.

She wrapped her arms around me and we both sighed. I kissed her temple and she smiled. "You going to eat dinner?" She asked after some time. I shrugged and she grabbed my hand, lifted us to a stand. I laughed wryly as she lead me down to dinner.