Shy From The Spotlight - Alexander Hamilton x Reader

Thirty

We all had the time of our lives as we danced and played around. We did that for at least two hours before mother called us for supper. Supper already! And we didn't even make it!

We all rushed over and stood in line, still buzzing with energy. Mother laughed a bit and handed us each a bowl of salad and pork. We all sat in our usual table spots as a maid handed out cutlery. Once the parents sat down, there was an awkward silence. The only noise was the clinks of our forks onto our bowls.

"Oh crap, father is leaving in the morning."
John spoke. Mother glared at him. "Language John Bradstreet!" She reprimanded sternly. He slunk in his chair. "Sorry." He mumbled.

Due to John's observation, the air only became more and more awkward. I looked down at my food and started letting my thoughts take over.

What if father decides to leave the army after what happened today? What if he doesn't? What if I'm not allowed to leave home alone ever again?! Everyone is going to pity me and treat me like they do Catharine! C/N isn't going to marry me! What if he does only out of pity?

I looked up from my plate and found everyone's eyes on me. God damn it. "What?" I asked. They all looked away. "Come on! Why was everyone staring?" I pressed in an annoyed tone.

Only Rensselaer answered me. "You were mumbling random words. 'Father' and 'ever again', even 'pity'." Take back my earlier statement. God damn that. Everyone glared at Rensselaer for answering my questions.

I sighed and ran a hand over my face. "Sorry, thinking out loud a bit." I apologize, embarrassed. "It's alright." They said. I can't believe I said those thoughts aloud! I felt my face flush from embarrassment and I looked back down to my food.

I suddenly lost my appetite and stood slowly. "May I be excused?" I asked. Mother nodded and I carried my food to the kitchen, leaving it on the counter before going up to my room. I shut my door and sat on my bed, pulling a worn leather journal from under it.

I've never written in this yet, despite me having had it for four years now. Mother gave it to me when the war started in 1776. For when the war becomes too much for my little Y/N/N. She said. At the time, I thought I could handle anything the war threw at me. That was four years ago.

I grabbed my quill and dipped it in my dark ink, opening the worn journal.

Third of December, 1780

Today was quite the day. It started out wonderful and amazing, but if only it remained so. I woke up to find father home, absolutely amazing. But then I remembered I had to find C/N to talk about why I was drunk and disorderly the night before. I was about to mail a letter when he appeared. I thankfully explained. After, we watched as Alexander proposed to Elizabeth. We celebrated with George Washington and John Parke Custis.

Father gave C/N his blessing to marry me, but only after the wedding. Amazing news! But then we found out father was staying for only today. After General Washington, John Parke, and C/N left, I went on a walk with the boys. This is where the day starts to get worse with every moment.

On our walk, the boys met Monsieur Lafayette. Just briefly, so we kept walking. The boys turned me around and some deviant Redcoats were approaching. I did the one thing I needed to do and got my younger brothers to safety. I did as father instructed and tried to remain inconspicuous to the passing British men. Unfortunately, I caught one's eye.

He snagged me from the crowd, trying to me nastily flirtatious. In order to save myself from immediate death, I gave a fake name.
Y/F/N Eldara. The colonial crowd knew I was a Schuyler. The Redcoat called over his obnoxious buddies and they started harassing me. I fended one off, kicking him in a truly despicable place. This only angered them.

They dragged me to a house, kicking and screaming against them. The crowd merely watched. I was terrified, praying my brothers were safe. They threw me to the floor, hitting me. They bound me and started untying my over skirts.

I panicked and saw a lantern. I got an awful idea. As they struggled with my knot, I squirmed for the lantern. Eventually, the only thing keeping them from my innocence was a spare knot I tied. I caused the lantern to tip and the place caught fire. The men left me to die.

I hit my head in the floor, breathing in the awful smoke, and fainted. When I woke, I was safe.

I blew the ink dry and shut the book, putting it back under my bed. I sighed and changed into my nightgown. I got under the covers and waited hours before falling asleep.