⊱Tant qu'il y a de la vie, il y a de l'espoir⊰
While I breathe, I hope
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"You should be resting."
I snapped my fingers, grinning at Envy. "And be bored out of my mind? I don't think so, boy."
Ignoring his nagging, I focused back on watching the elephants stretching far from us. "Aww, aren't they cute, Tae? Look at that baby elephant!"
"Sure. But I wanted to see lions, where are they?"
"We'll get there," the tour guide explained. "Lions are found in groups. A lion's roar can be heard up to eight kilometres away."
"My spirit animal is lion," Envy whispered after leaning closer to me and imitated its roar like a child, earning chuckles from me.
"But when I see you, I see a mouse."
Narrow almond eyes popped out in shock and a hand flew up to his chest in humiliation. "M-Mouse?"
The expression I beheld when I looked up at him was truly comical that I involuntarily burst out laughing. "Okay, okay, chinchilla then!"
"Wha-" Mouth agape and eyes blown wide, he scoffed in disbelief and rubbed his face with his hand. "I can not believe! I'm a rodent now?!"
I paused when I saw blood on his hand and grabbed it to see the wound closer. "What's this? When did you get hurt?"
"Uh... I don't know, it doesn't hurt anyway." He slipped his hand out of my hold but I wasn't convinced.
"We're heading back to the hotel early."
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Pouring out the ointments and bandages I bought from a drugstore onto the bed, I took a deep breath and ushered Envy to sit. With a frown, he dragged his feet and plopped down on the bed before me.
"You're taking this too seriously. It's just a scratch."
I lifted his hand to see a long diagonal cut on his palm with dried blood along it. "Pain is pain. And it's not just a scratch, idiot. I can see your flesh."
He pursed his lips and looked away with a lack of interest, giving up on arguing with me. I started treating him, cleaning the dried blood and applying ointment around the cut while placating him when he would unintentionally jerk or yelp.
A short laugh escaped my lips when I became aware of my situation. I was still treating his wounds after everything and he was still letting me, wearing his usual meek expression.
"Why are you laughing?"
Bandaging him up, I shook my head. "Nothing. Just... I'll miss this."
I felt his eyes on me and I bit my tongue. The words just slipped out. Days and months were flying by but I wasn't making any progress. Everywhere we went, people still had the same envious gaze directed at Envy and sometimes, me. No matter who it was, they still had something to be jealous of when Envy was in the picture.
It was too early to give up but I was afraid that the end result was already decided. I was playing a game I could never win.
Still, it was the only way for me.
I shouldn't be regretting this, especially when I got to spend my final year with him.
"Seoyun..." Envy breathed out so softly and placed his other hand on mine after I bandaged him, making my heart leap in my chest. "What are you saying? Are you... giving up?"
The way he whispered in such a gentle, small voice as if he was worried about me, as if he was afraid of me disappearing prompted a tug in my chest, making me want to cry.
I wanted to hug him. My body was aching for his warmth. But this wasn't the past... This was the bitter cold present where I could never seek solace in him.
"Of course not, you baby mouse," I laughed, startling him, and patted the bandage with a smile. "We'll be jumping from one place to another in any country until the end. I won't give up."
With an unreadable expression, he stared at me in silence. I couldn't read what he was thinking but I hoped it wasn't pity.
That wasn't how I wanted to be remembered...
If I would be remembered...
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"You can't possibly think a teenager would be better than me...?"
I tutted him as we walked through the school corridor. It was empty with all the students in their classrooms, studying.
The days I spent at school felt so distant but somehow, so vivid.
Gasping, I stumbled backwards when a girl fell down the stairs and landed before me with a pained groan. Without thinking, I rushed to help her get up and flinched when I saw her tear stained cheeks and reddened eyes.
She whimpered, holding her sides, and turned to look up the stairs, ignoring me. "H-How could you push me? I-I thought we were friends..."
I followed her eyes and saw another girl who had her fists clenched and eyebrows furrowed.
"Friends?" She scoffed. "Someone like you knows what friends are? Nobody even likes you! You're always so full of yourself like you're superior to us, how can you even call me your friend?"
The girl in my arms froze before tears brimmed her eyes again. "W-What? When did I ever?"
"Didn't you hear what the others said to you?!" The other girl yelled and I wondered if she could even see me. "You're so pathetic, the only thing we needed from you was your homework, miss smarty pants. No one wants you as their friend, bitch!"
Sheer fury blazed through my veins and I stood up to confront her. I could tell that she was green with jealousy that she didn't even hesitate to hurt the bleeding girl. If I was right, her whole class was.
"How do you feel now that everyone in our class is against you?" She smirked, crossing her arms. "Everyone hates you and wants you gone, bitch. Not so superior now, are you?"
"That's enough!" I barked as I walked towards the frowning girl. "That's bullying and I will have to report it to your school administration. You should be ashamed of yourself!"
She stood there in silence, inspecting me. From her hardened gaze, I knew my words wouldn't reach her, so I touched her shoulder. She dropped to the ground, groaning and clutching her chest.
"Oh goodness, are you okay?" I faked my surprise, looking down at her with a stoic expression. "You should go to the infirmary! Hurry!"
She scurried away immediately and I turned back to the girl still sitting on the floor with a miserable frown. Envy stood beside her, watching me.
It was similar to his own life in school.
He was aware of that.
I couldn't help but intervene in such a heartbreaking situation. The girl was shell-shocked, at a loss of words, I could only imagine how horrifying it was to see everyone turning against her all of a sudden. She wasn't prideful at all, it was all envy.
As I promised, I reported what I witnessed to the administration with her, and they were all dismayed.
It was painful to leave her but I wasn't supposed to be there.
"How bad did you hurt that girl?"
Envy was still unreadable when we walked out of the building with no luck once again.
"Less than she deserved," I sighed, throwing my head up to the azure sky. "But she will suffer long."
"Hmm."
I abruptly stopped on my tracks when a man suddenly appeared in front of me.
"Kindness." He turned to the man behind me who stopped as well. "Envy."
"Humility," I greeted him back.
His gray eyes found mine and I held my breath.
"Emergency meeting. Right now. The Virtues have gathered in heaven."
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