Harry stared into my eyes as he fidgeted with the rings on his fingers. Spinning them around I could tell his mind was all over the place. This only made me more anxious to know the truth.
I sat in silence waiting for him to be the one to speak first but started to get impatient with the lack of communication.
He was so confident in telling me he'd answer any of my questions but now that the time is here it's like he completely forgot how to speak. He's just staring at his hands and biting on the corners of his mouth.
I mirrored his actions by looking to my hands but the silence was only getting uncomfortable.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" He finally spoke after several minutes passed.
"Harry you told me you'd tell me. So please just explain to me what the hell is going on." I focused my attention back onto him.
"Do you want to do it here though? Why don't we go somewhere where nobody can hear us, okay? We'll just go for a little drive. I promise nowhere far just somewhere where we'll be alone." Harry leaned in closer to the table so he could stay at a whisper.
"What about Caleb?" I looked to him confused.
"Caleb can stay here for a little. I already talked to Rita."
Talked to Rita? So he wasn't planning on telling me anything here? So the past few minutes have been for nothing but added on stress?
"Okay fine." I sighed.
Harry stood from the table and held his hand out to grab mine. I got out myself and walked to the glass door to get outside.
As soon as I stepped outside a gust of wind slammed into my body forcing me to fall into Harry's chest. "Are you okay?" He asked as he giggled into my ear.
"Yeah I'm fine it's just windy and i'm tired. Think it's gonna start storming." I looked up to the sky and saw the dark clouds moving at a quicker pace.
"It's pretty nasty out here." Harry said as he opened up the passenger seat door for me while looking up at the sky.
I sat down and watched Harry as he sprinted around his car to get into the driver's seat.
Harry must have walked from his house because my car wasn't in the parking lot.
I handed him the keys from my pocket as he got into the car.
Harry pulled out of the parking lot and started driving. I rested my head against the window and watched the clouds get darker with time. A few flashes of lighting appeared along with the rumbling sound of thunder.
I glanced to Harry a few times but he was so distracted on the road and being lost in his thoughts I doubt he had even noticed it.
He only looked over at my a few times but I think he was just trying to make sure I hadn't fallen asleep.
Small drops of rain fell to the window. As they fell down I counted each drop. I was at number seventy four before Harry started speaking again.
"I wanted to tell you everything from the day I first talked to you but i've been scared. It never felt like my place but he has you so sheltered I don't know if you'd ever figure it out on your own and if you did you'd probably ignore it. Choose to believe what you know isn't real and that's okay. It's understandable but regardless you need to know the truth. You might not believe me and you might not want to talk to me again but just know i'm telling you this because I care about you. You're going to be confused and you're going to be angry but you need to be. You can take it out on me if you need to but you need to not only hear me but listen to me." Harry spoke while leaning his head onto his hand which was rested on the center console.
"Harry you're freaking me out." My heart started pounding as I tried to imagine what he was planning on telling me.
"I know but it's not my intention. You'll understand in a few minutes I promise."
I looked to Harry but he kept his eyes on the road again. I kept trying to make up scenarios in my head. Things he may tell me but nothing is as bad as he's making this sound.
I just keep thinking it has something to do with drugs. What else would it be? He even said the guy that tried to attack me earlier was a drug dealer. Maybe my father is one too.
Maybe that's why my father hates when I smoke weed. He could be afraid i'd go down the wrong path like him.
As my mind spiraled with thoughts and scenarios Harry pulled into an old parking lot. It was empty and attached to a abandoned building. I've never been on this side of town before. I don't even know what side it is to be honest. All I know is i've never seen this place before.
Harry pulled into a spot and put his car into park. Taking his keys out of the ignition he opened the door and stepped outside. I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out of the car as well to follow Harry.
He was leaning against the back of his car and stared up at the dark gloomy sky.
"It's not raining anymore." He quietly spoke.
I just nodded and stepped in front of him so I could see and hear him clearly.
"What's this about?" I crossed my arms and bounced on my feet as the wind picked up making me colder than I was before.
Harry pulled his grey sweatshirt over his head and handed it over to me while giving me a soft smile. "Sorry I didn't realise how cold it was." He spoke as I pulled the sweatshirt over my head to keep myself warm.
"I just need you to promise me you won't walk away or give up on me until I finish saying what I need to say." Harry crossed his arms and kept his eyes to the ground.
"I promise. Now what is this about?"
"It's about your parents." Harry mumbled under his breath.
"What about them?" I shook my head and tried to get his attention but he refused to look me in my eyes.
"Okay so it all started twenty years ago or so. Your dad had his own business but it wasn't the normal nine to five you thought it was. He makes the money he makes because he did stuff for people when they asked him too. Stuff people shouldn't do." Harry rubbed his arms as the wind started to pick up.
"Harry I need you to be more specific what are you saying? Like sold them drugs or something?"
"Let me put it like this, there's a lot of fucked up people in this town who know fucked up people. Those fucked up people pay a fucked up person to take away or ruin the lives of the fucked up people that they don't like. For example if a big business man sees someone competing with his company they may call your father or someone he works with to make the other businessman disappear."
"So you're telling me that he kill-"
"No not necessarily. He may have but that's not fun for him. He rather ruin their lives." Harry cut me off so I wouldn't jump to conclusions right away.
"How would he-"
"He would kidnap them make them overdose on drugs, call the police, they lose their job, they lose everything. Your father did it to a teacher. The teacher somehow new about what your father was doing so he threatened him to his face. Your father obviously didn't like that because he had him arrested and charged with statutory rape for being sexually active with a student."
"I don't understand. How do you know this?"
"Because the teacher was my dad and I was the child that was claimed to be sexually assaulted. He lost everything. Your father is powerful, so powerful he could have someone arrested for a crime they never committed. He was later released when he was no longer found guilty but quickly became an alcoholic and drug addict. I think it's because of what they did to him in prison. They don't take that shit lightly. We don't speak anymore because of it. He lost everyone."
"Harry i'm so sorry that happened but he wouldn't do that. You must have mixed him up with someone else." My heart beat started racing and my palms began sweating.
There's no way. He wouldn't do that to anyone.
"You're in denial and that's okay. I understand and I knew that it would happen. You just need to keep listening to the story. Please Ariana."
"But what are you protecting me from? I get it if he did do those terrible things then he's messed up and he's terrible and he should be in prison but he wouldn't hurt me?" I started pacing back and forth. My throat was burning from yelling and my eyes were getting foggy from the tears in my eyes. "I'm his daughter Harry. You could have just told me the truth and left me alone. He's not going to hurt me he loves me."
"That doesn't mean anything to him and Ariana he has hurt you! Look at your wrists. I'm serious look at them now. Look me in the eyes and tell me you seriously believe that prick wouldn't hurt you!" As Harry yelled my chest got tighter. He was so full of rage and anger he left me standing here in front of him terrified.
I looked down to my hands and saw the now faded bruises he had left on me. I felt my cheeks get warm as my eyes started to fill with tears. My vision was getting blurry leaving my mind just as foggy.
"Thirteen years ago your father had an affair. Your mom knew about it but she was too afraid to leave. Whenever she tried he threatened her and he threatened to take you away from her. It was the only way he'd get her to stay. So she did. When you're dad came home drunk he'd be rough and forceful with your mom. He did stuff no man would ever do to a woman. This happened constantly until one night your mom got sick. She hadn't felt that way in years so she took a pregnancy test and it came out positive."
When the words left Harry's lips they hit me like a truck. Does this mean she's somewhere out there with my sibling? She left me and raised another baby? "Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to hurt me Harry? Fuck you!" I screamed so loud when I finally stopped my head felt empty.
"She tried to hide it from your dad. She even thought about getting an abortion behind his back. She didn't want to bring another baby into this world knowing he would be the father. But she accidentally slipped up and your father found the test in the garbage bin in the bathroom." Harry finally looked up to me. His eyes weren't the normal green they were earlier. They were dark and full of water. He looked sad and defeated just like me.
"How do you kn-" Harry quickly cut me off before I could ask.
"After your father found the test he thought your mom was cheating on him. He obviously didn't remember coming home drunk and forcing himself onto her so that's what he assumed. He threatened her and the 'man' she supposedly cheated on him with everyday. You're mother was so scared she wrote a letter addressed to you. She knew she wasn't safe and she knew there was a big chance she wasn't going to survive. So she hid the letter and went on with her days praying you would never have to read it. She was going to tear it up as soon as she felt safe again."
Scared she wasn't going to survive? She actually thought he'd hurt her? He loved here there is no way he'd ever try and hurt her. They were happy. We were all happy.
"One day your mother came home and found a woman in your fathers bed. The same woman he had been having an affair with. Your mom got upset so she packed her bags while your father was in bed with the other woman. Then she went into your room that night. You were at a friends house but she still packed yours as well. She was planning on leaving in the morning but your father came out of the bedroom and got angry so they got into a heated argument. So bad he pushed her by the stairs and she fell."
"What?" I looked to Harry but only got more upset as I saw the look on his face. he looked devastated. "Then what she just left? She got up and she left with her stuff right? Harry answer me! Tell me she got up and she left!" I screamed as I pulled Harry by his shirt and pounded my balled up fists against his chest.
"Ariana.." Harry took a deep breath as his eyes filled with tears. He gripped onto my hands to stop me from hitting him but I kept pounding my fists against his body.
"Baby your mom hit her head when she fell." Harry closed his eyes after he said it. The tears fell effortlessly down his cheeks.
I pulled my arms out of his grip and used all my force to push him up against his car. "You're lying. How do you know this huh? How would you even know this? You're just making this all up so I hate him! That's what you want, you want me to hate him!" I screamed at him and continued pushing him against the vehicle.
My cries turned into screams and my sadness turned into anger.
"Ariana I know because the woman your father was seeing that night-" Harry took another deep breath before speaking. "The woman was my mom."
I felt dizzy from moving so fast. The screaming only made it worse but nothing was making sense. He knew this entire time and never said anything. After all of these years he never stopped and thought maybe it was the right time?
"No it doesn't make sense. How do you know every detail about the story? How do you know about the letter? Were you there?!" I let go of Harry, paced in circles, and ran my fingers through my hair as i tried to comprehend everything he was telling me.
"I was in the car. I was younger and had no idea what was going on but my mom was taking too long inside so I wandered in. When I walked in I saw your mom lying there." A small tear fell to Harry's cheek as he spoke. "She gave me the note. She always kept it in her pocket in case anything happened to her. The police would have found it and it would have be given to you. When I ran up to her and she handed it to me she told me to keep an eye on you. I was young but she was desperate to keep you safe and I was the only one with her. So I promised her i'd watch you and I haven't stopped thinking and caring about you since that night. That's why I purposely bumped into you and that's why I tried to keep you with me. I panicked when it was time for you to leave because if he knew you were with me he would have thought I told you. So he would have hurt you just so he could keep his secret a secret forever. I had no choice I was scared." Harry rambled on as he stared into my foggy eyes.
"How did- how did he know you knew what happened?" I stuttered as I tried to get the words out. Crying so hard I have no idea if what i'm saying makes any sense.
"After she told me that night I went to your father and told him if he didn't release my dad from jail i'd tell the truth. I told him I had proof and I had it hidden and for some reason he was threatened and released my dad. He's been trying to keep you away from me because he knows i'll do whatever I can to protect you from him."
I have so many questions about my father specifically but those don't seem to matter anymore. I'm more concerned about my mom.
All these years i've felt alone and afraid just to find out that's how she felt my entire life. I've been so angry wondering what I did wrong but it turns out she didn't choose to leave. He made that decision for her.
"Did-did she die alone? Was she sc-ared? Where was my dad?" My voice cracked as I asked the questions I probably didn't want to know the answers to.
"Your dad went back into the bedroom. She was comfortable. She wasn't scared anymore." Harry wiped away his tears.
"Are you positive?" I started hyperventilating as I thought of her lying there all alone and scared.
"She told me that night that you're guys' favorite song was Brown Eyed Girl. Said you use to sing it to her all the time when you guys layed in bed because she use to sing it to you when you were a baby." Harry smiled as he stared up at the gloomy sky. "So that night she asked me to sing it to her and the baby. So I held her hand and I sang it to her until she took her last breath." Harry looked to the ground and kept his eyes onto the pavement.
My mom spent her last few minutes alive with the boy standing in front of me and I had no idea. He's known me all of these years and I didn't have a clue.
"What did you do when she stopped breathing?" I stumbled over my words trying to get them out correctly.
"I ran before they came downstairs and I kept her word. That's why i've been watching you all these years. It sounds terrifying but I promise I just make sure you go to work and get back home safely. I will drive by your house here and there when your father's home just to make sure you're alright but that's it I swear." Harry ran his fingers through his messy curls.
"What about the letter?" I wiped away my tears and crossed my arms as I stood directly in front of him.
Harry pulled an old envelope from the inside of his shirt and handed it to me. "Can I please have a minute." I asked quietly trying to ignore the burning feeling in my chest and throat.
"Yeah, i'll be over here." Harry pointed to the large tree only a few feet away.
I peeled back the envelope and pulled out the crumbled tanned piece of paper. I held my breath as I saw the familiar handwriting I hadn't seen in ages.
Running my fingers across the paper I grazed my thumb over the first line. My name.
Ariana,
If you're reading this princess you know the truth. The truth I never wanted you to know. I hid this letter somewhere safe so you could find it one day. So you could read it and realise how much I love you.
I hope you're much older than I am as I write this letter and your father is long gone. I hope you're safe and happy with a family of your own. I hope my grandbabies know how much I love them and I hope your husband is treating you well.
I'm so sorry I had to lie to you all these years but just know I was trying to keep you safe. I would have never abandoned you, ever. You are my rock, my daughter, my best friend. As you read this just remember the times we shared. The memories and the laughs. Don't sit there and cry thinking you lost me. I am and have been looking after you. From the day I gave birth to you and the days after I passed I never stopped loving you and never stopped looking after you.
The world is a cruel place and your heart is way too fragile to understand how brutal the minds of others can be. Please know I had to lie in order to keep you safe. If your father knew you knew what happened to me he would have come after you to keep you quiet.
If you're reading this and you're still young please stay far away from that man baby. He's not stupid and he knows when he's been lied to. Stay safe by staying close to the supportive people around you. Don't shut them out because of fear. Insead, keep them close and let them care for you through those dark times.
You are a fighter and I'm so sorry me and your sibling didn't make it out but just know I tried my hardest to get back to you. I will always find my way back to you.
Stay safe, stay away.
Love, Mom.
The letter slipped from my hands as my body collapsed and hit the pavement. Everything was spinning and slowed down.
Harry rushed over and grabbed my body as I hit the ground. His lips kept moving but my ears were ringing so loud I couldn't make out a word he was saying.
The burning feeling in my chest filled my entire body leaving me screaming for help.
I closed my eyes and flinched at the feeling of the tiny raindrops hitting my skin.
Harry sat behind me as I layed in his arms. Soft kisses were pressed to my head while he shushed the murderous screams coming out of me.
"I'm so sorry Ariana. I got you baby. I promise you I got you." Harry whispered to me as he lifted me from the ground and cradled me in his arms.
***********
Don't be mad at me....
Finally some questions have been answered!
I hope you guys enjoyed this emotional Chapter.
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Happy chapters coming soon I promise!!
I love you all so so much
Chapter 15 coming soon.