My head rests against the car window, staring outside as we passed through town.
I'm trying my best to ignore the ache he left in between my legs but it's almost impossible as my mind replays what happened only just a few minutes ago.
The taste he left on my tongue has me craving more. Glancing over I see his hair is a tangled mess from my wandering hands, while his bedrooms are stay focused on the road, while mine are focusing on his swollen lips and cheeks that are a new shade of pink.
The silence filling the car is oddly overwhelming so i'm waiting for him to be the one to break it this time, hoping he's not sitting there regretting what had happened.
I wish I could say I feel confident enough to speak first, but every time I look at him I feel like sinking down into my seat, and after what just happened I wish I could.
"Did I upset you?" Harry finally speaks quietly in a whisper without taking his eyes off of the road.
I'm not upset we kissed, I'm upset I liked it.
I can't help but feel insecure in moments like these. Guys see the broken girl and take advantage of her and her feelings. Then when they're done with her they leave her more broken than she was before.
So I might as well take control of the situation before he does. I'll hurt myself so he doesn't have the power to do it instead.
"No but I think maybe we should just be friends. I know that kiss didn't mean we were more but I just want to make it clear now so there's not any confusion or awkward conversations about it later" I explain, worried he might just kick me out of his house and never speak to me again.
"Damn, so the kiss was that bad?" Harry laughs, biting down on his lip.
Oh great, probably should've saved the speech in case he tried to make a move again; not pull it out of ass when the car is completely silence, when he probably wasn't even thinking about it that way.
Now I just look conceited and stupid.
"What? No I-" I try to explain, rambling on until Harry stops me from suffering and explains to me that he was only kidding, while he pulled into his steep driveway and put his car into park.
My heart starts to race as he unbuckles his seat belt and leans over the center console so he could maintain eye contact with me.
"Whatever you say goes, so if you want to be friends I'm more than happy to call you my friend" Harry softly smiles, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.
His eyes are intoxicating. The way he looks at me makes me feel alive in ways that are indescribable, ways that don't make sense.
"I should go get my stuff" I point to the house, with both of my hands, trying to find a way to get out of his intimidating stare.
When I jump out of the car in a hurry, Harry stays in for some reason, but I just ignore him and walk into the house. As soon as I got into Harry's bedroom I check my phone and instantly regretted it.
Thirty Eight missed called from my father, and seventy three missed text messages as well.
I'm fucked. I knew it was stupid and I knew what was going to happen and I still was stupid enough to do it.
"Be smart and stay" Harry whispers behind me, making me jump up and almost drop my phone from my hands.
When I look over he's leaned against the bedroom door, arms crossed over his chest, with a determined stern look on his face.
We both know that's not an option and I refuse to run away like she did. I'll find a way to be on my own one day, but as of right now running isn't what's best for me.
"Thank you but we both know that's unrealistic. I'll be fine. I'll text you and see you around stuff, i'm not gonna disappear" I explain, trying to walk over the door so I could grab my clothes and leave but Harry quickly steps in front of me, blocking me from my only way out.
I couldn't read him completely but I could tell he was angry. The energy he's giving off now is completely different than the energy I felt in the car.
His entire demeanor changed again, only this time he's cold, like the way he acted last night when he first saw my bruises; Being around him is already intimidating enough but now it seems ten times worse.
"Stop for a second and listen, okay?" Harry grabs onto both of my arms gently, "I'm not forcing you to stay but i'll be damned if I let you walk out of this house and back to yours when we both know there's a chance he'll hurt you again. So if you want to leave go ahead and try but i'm not moving out of this doorway" he speaks calmly, looking into my eyes like he was determined to keep me here.
My heart starts beating uncontrollably fast as I thought about every single negative outcome that could happen.
What if he kills me? What if he's just a nice guy trying to protect me? What if he kidnaps me forever and forces me to marry him and carry his children?
I should stop watching Criminal Minds....Or maybe I should watch more.
"I appreciate you caring but this is considered kidnapping and you can't start off your sentence by saying 'i'm not forcing you to stay' when that's exactly what you're doing" I sarcastically reply, rolling my eyes while laughing, I step over to walk to the other side but he slides over on his feet, blocking me from getting out again.
"The minute I have proof you're staying with a friend or another family member i'll move out of the way" he shrugs, tilting his head to the side.
Great so I have to contact family or friends. That should be easy right?
Wrong.
What friends? I hang out with the same group of people and that's only when we're all high. What family member is still in my life? The minute my mom disappeared so did everyone else and nobody speaks to my father.
"Okay and what if I hit you? Or scream? Call 911? What are you gonna do then?" I raise my eyebrow, stepping up to him as if I was a going to be a threat, but he didn't flinch. He only rolled his eyes and laughed at my attempt to scare him.
Sometimes I forget i'm only five something feet tall and not threatening or scary whatsoever.
But hey I tried.
Harry wipes his smile away, leaning over so he could look into my eyes, but the longer he stares into mine the faster my heart beats.
Our faces were just inches apart. The smell of his cologne was overwhelming and the emotion in his eyes caused chills to run down my spine.
"You can hit me baby- I probably deserve it. You can scream but nobody's going to hear you and you can call 911 but if you do that i'll tell them why i'm not letting you go home and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I'm trying to keep you safe please don't make it more difficult than it already is" he explains, proving to me I didn't stump or scare him, because clearly already had this plan thought.
"You said you wouldn't tell anyone" I raise my voice, feeling angry at myself for trusting him with something like this.
I know he's worried but i'm worried about myself. Hell, i'm not just worried, i'm scared for myself. I'm afraid i'll never be okay after this. He's probably out looking for me right now and the minute he does i'll lose everything.
Not the clothes, the job, cars, a house, none of that matters because I didn't get those things myself. They were all handed to me. The one thing I've worked on for years is more important than any of that shit.
I'll lose my myself, my sanity.
He'll break me and I honestly don't know how much more I can take, at this point i'm hoping Harry's a sociopath serial killer so this can all just be over with already.
"So please don't make me have to tell anyone, Ariana i'm trying to help you" Harry leans in and whispers into my ear, trying to pull me into a hug but I only pull away.
He's standing in front of the door but maybe I can get under. I can crawl near his feet and just run outside as quickly as I can.
That's exactly what I tried to do but Harry caught on way to fast. Next thing I know i'm being thrown over Harry's shoulder like a rag doll.
I yell out as he shuts and locks the door behind us and starts walking me over towards the bed, "Harry it's not funny let me go" I scream as loud as I can, punching his back and pulling onto his sweater, so he'd put me down.
He then gently drops me down onto the bed, placing the oaks of his hands on my knees as he squats down in front of me, while I sat on the edge of the bed.
"I'm stronger. Stop moving" Harry demands, making me anxious when I don't see him smiling anymore. He just looks angry, and the green in his eyes fade away when a shade of red appears.
Is he insane? Acting like i'm the crazy one for being annoyed that he kidnapped me. Am I suppose to be calm? Does he not understand he's making this a million times worse for me?
"Stop telling me what to do asshole" I yell out at him, feeling the anger build up inside me, knowing whatever happens to me will be his fault.
Harry aggressively runs his fingers through his hair and tugs on the loose curls on the sides of his head. He seems frustrated, pinching his eyes closed shut tightly while he takes slow deep breaths in and out.
"I'm sorry, please stop moving" his voice gets softer as he speaks, and his face now turns, looking more concerned than he did angry like only a few seconds ago.
Harry stands up and looks down at me waiting for me to obey his command, just because he said it a little nicer, but I don't listen.
I stand up in front of him, crossing my arms over my chest, "I get it you're trying to be the hero right now but you're making this so much worse. So let me go or i'm hitting you" I threaten, meaning every word.
"Hit me- I dare you Ariana"
Well that's unsettling, he's clearly a psychopath and my father was right. My dumb ass, naive little self, skipped my way into his arms, and now after I hit him he'll gut me alive.
"Is this because of my safety or because whatever the hell my father was talking about? Is this your way of getting back at him? Kidnapping his daughter? Are you gonna kill me or are you waiting for him to come find me so he falls into your little trap?" I ramble on, glaring at him as he stares at me with a confused look on his face.
I cracked the case.
Not that it matters because i'm about to be dead but hey, at least i'll go out with a bang.
"What the hell are you talking about? Did you just ask me if I was going to kill you?" he yells out and has a concerned look on his face like i'm crazy, "I'm not a psychopath i'm worried about you! And what do you mean what your father was talking about?" he yells, making me realize I may have not cracked the case after all, but instead gave away the secret I probably shouldn't have shared.
Honestly at this point being worried about me is more shocking than being a psychopath, so excuse me for jumping to conclusions sir.
"Cut the shit Styles and just make it fast please" I close my eyes tightly, rolling my head backwards, while holding my arms out to the side, patiently waiting for him to cut me limb from limb.
Harry sighs out of frustration, making me jump when I feel his large hands grab onto my face to get my attention.
My eyes lock onto his and I could tell he was already tired of my behavior, but that's not fair in my opinion. If i'm being kidnapped I should have every right to act the way I choose to.
"Ariana i'm not going to kill you" Harry whispers, sounding unimpressed with my assumption.
Maybe he's right. I feel like if he was going to murder me he would've done it by now. Especially with the way I've been acting, but that doesn't excuse the fact i'm still trapped in his bedroom with no way out.
"Oh cool thanks that's comforting, because it's so crazy to assume someone's going to kill you after kidnapping you. My bad bro didn't mean to upset you" I sarcastically speak, holding my fist out for a first bump but he ignores me.
"Stop using the word kidnapping it sounds bad"
"Oh but this entire situation doesn't look bad, right? It's just the word kidnapping that's bugging you? What word would you prefer instead of kidnapping? I'm willing to work with you but none seem to fit in this situation" I laugh, tying my hair up into a messy bun, trying my hardest to get under his skin so he'll just let me go when he gets tired of me.
Harry pinches the bridge of his nose as I ramble on, complaining to him sarcastically, but just lets out a tired laugh.
"Can you please tell me what your father said about me" Harry asks calmly as he sits down onto the bed next to where I was standing.
"He told me to stay away from you. Said you were dangerous and a bad man, and now i'm starting to believe him" I repeat his words, walking over to the chair across the room, and sitting down, pulling my knees to my chest for some kind of comfort.
"So you knew me when I came in and asked for directions" Harry asks, looking to me with confused written all over his face it.
Based off the way he's acting I assume he knew who I was too.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asks softly, trying his hardest not to startle me more than he already has.
He already knows, along with everything else about me, so there's really no point in lying to him about this. I couldn't care less anymore, i'm so drained from it all.
"I wanted to figure it out myself because he never told me why. He just said to stay away but when we started talking you just didn't seem like you were the bad guy he warned me about. You were almost too nice and it just didn't make any sense. So what happened? How do you know each other and what do you want from me?" I ramble on, stumbling over my words as my eyes started to fill with tears.
"I told you already I want to keep you safe." Harry's eyes wander the room as he speaks, almost like he's trying to avoid looking at me and the pain i'm currently in.
"That's it? You obviously know something and please don't lie to me. I will cooperate and do whatever you want and if this is your way of getting at him fine but at least tell me why. I deserve to know" my voice cracks as I yell with emotion, eyes becoming foggy and my nail polish was completely gone, due to the fact I chipped them nervously.
"Not right now" is all he says, standing up from the bed he walks towards the door.
"Harry please" I beg, waiting for some kind of answer, but he just completely ignore me and my frustration towards him.
"There's snacks in the drawers, clothes in the closet if you want to change, drinks in the mini fridge by the TV, and you can watch whatever you want. I took your phone when you were trying to beat my ass so I'll let your dad know you won't be home tonight and I'll leave paper so you can make a list of things you want or need. I'll come check on you in a bit" he rambles on, messes with the lock on the door, and then quickly leaves, pulling the door shut behind him.
I heard the jingle of keys so I jump out of the chair and ran as quickly to the door as I could. I try to turn the handle but by the time I do, he had already locked it leaving my trapped inside.
"Harry don't leave me in here!" I bang on the door, screaming for help but as minutes pass by I give up.
I'm stuck.
***