Here's part 2 as I promised! Yaaay!
Again, there'll be mentions of abuse, so y'all have been warned!
A Bakugou Katsuki x Reader. People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
☝ Got that from a random Pinterest quote I saw. Enjoy!
Additional key to remember:
(FR/N)—father's name
(F/C)—favorite color
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You quickly made dinner for the two of them, all the while keeping your dad from seeing how much pain you were in right now. The feeling of wanting to vomit still hasn't vanished, and you were still having trouble breathing properly from the pain on your side. You were sure there's gonna be a bruise there. After you finished and cleaned up on the kitchen, you sneaked an ice-bag from the fridge and hurriedly went up to your room before your dad could even question you.
You locked yourself in your room, going to the bathroom to treat the cuts on your arm from the bitch's nails, and the bruise on your side. But the moment you stepped in the bathroom, you couldn't take it anymore and lunged to the toilet. You struggled to throw up, throat stinging from the acid as you tried to keep yourself up. Once you felt like you were done, you covered your face with your hands, still trying to keep the tears in.
I refuse. I refuse to cry. I'm not gonna let that bitch know I'm weak. I'm not gonna let her win.
You wiped the tears from the corners of your eyes, standing up then peeling off your uniform to study the forming bruise on your side. You grimaced at the sight of it, as well as the few more cuts that she gave you that were already slowly disappearing, and the faint bruises on your arms and torso. You clicked your tongue, rummaging through your cabinets for the first-aid kit.
After a long time in the bathroom, you were now on your bed, buried under the comforter. It wasn't that late at night yet, but you were already trying to force yourself to sleep, but with everything that happened today, and the pain you felt in your body, it would surely be yet another sleepless night. You stared aimlessly at the ceiling, before you heard the door clicking open.
While you were shocked that the door had been opened even though you locked it, you already knew that it was your dad who came in as he had a spare key of your room, which he only uses in times where you would lock yourself inside like this time.
You turned on your side with an exhausted sigh, your back facing your dad as he approached the bed.
"Hey there, (Y/N)," he spoke, you not even returning his greeting. "So, you didn't eat with us again."
". . . I don't have an appetite," you finally answered.
"You always say that," he sighed. "You cook everyday, but you don't even eat with us."
"I already ate lunch."
"But you didn't have breakfast. Then that means you only ate once today. That's not good, you know? You might get sick."
". . ."
(A/N: Aah, my dad when he scolds me for skipping meals.)
"Michiko told me you got mad at her earlier for borrowing your money."
Your eyes widened. So the bitch told him? Hmph, as expected.
Your dad sighed, still not receiving a response from you. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at your back with concern.
"Look, (Y/N). I know that you're having a hard time since your mom died," you visibly flinched. Please don't.
"It was painful for me too. After all, she was my wife, and your one and only mother."
'Was'. It's hard to accept that she's all in the past now. At least, for him.
"But, since I met Michiko, I thought that I could become happy again. She was like another candle that lit up my life. And I've been doing my best to keep the both of you happy. Especially you."
I know, dad. I know of your efforts. And it's not like I'm not grateful for it.
"This is a new life we're starting, (Y/N). And even with the big changes, I still want you to be ha—"
"Look dad, just because you're now happy with this new life doesn't mean I am." you spoke, cutting off your dad's sentence. You swallowed thickly, feeling a huge lump in your throat as you exhaled shakily.
"I'm trying, dad. I'm trying to be happy. But no matter what, mom can't be replaced. Not by Michiko, not by anyone. I'm still. . . finding it in me to accept everything that happened."
You clenched your eyes shut, saying nothing more. You could feel your dad's pained stare behind you, which is why you refused to even glance at him.
"Could you. . . leave me for a while, please?" there was a long pause, before your father sighed, feeling him stand up from your bed.
"Alright. Good night, sweetie," you heard him open the door, but before he could close it, you heard him say, "I love you." and silence wrapped around your room once again. You buried your face in the comforter, clenching your eyes shut.
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A few minutes and an hour passed, but you still weren't asleep. You sat up from your bed, looking at the clock on your nightstand. It was still a few minutes past eight, so your dad and Michiko probably weren't asleep yet. You stared aimlessly at your closet, countless thoughts swarming in your head like the buzzing of busy bees.
Alright, that's it. You got up, going to your closet to snatch up a coat. You laced up a pair of sneakers that you rarely used. You took your phone and a few money, going to the veranda connecting to your room. You used your quirk to zip your way down the side of your house, before you sneakily made your way out the gate before the other two in your house found you.
Your walk around the street at night led you to the convenience store to buy yourself milk, and eventually, the empty park near your street. It didn't even bother you that you were outside in your pajamas, nor the dangers of wandering the night street alone, as you were so lost in your thoughts.
You sat on the swing, slightly pushing yourself back as you swung back and forth, sipping on the milk you bought. You stared up at the night sky. Memories with your mother played back in your head.
"What's wrong, (Y/N)? Are you crying again?"
You furiously wiped your tears, shaking your head. Your mom giggled, gesturing for you to come closer to her. You sniffled, walking next to her bed. You yelped when she suddenly picked you up, gently setting you down by her lap.
"There, there. Don't cry," she cooed, gently caressing your hair while her other hand wiped the small tears rolling down your cheeks.
"Now, tell me, what's wrong?"
You sniffled again, more tears blurring your eyesight as you suddenly lurched forward, embracing your mom as much as your arms could. You nuzzled your face on her chest.
"T-The other kids are bullying me. They said I don't have a mom anymore!"
"I see. So that's why you're crying?"
You shook your head, looking up at her.
"No! I won't cry!" you declared. Your mom was quite surprised with your statement.
"Oh? Why not?"
You lowered your head, tightening the grip on your mom's hospital clothes.
"Because. . ." you trailed off. She looked down at her daughter, seeing the true emotions held in her eyes. She smiled, cupping her cheek to make her look up.
"Listen, (Y/N)," she spoke. "You know the times when you trip and fall while you're playing?"
You nodded. "It hurts."
She nodded. "Right? It hurts so much that you can't describe how painful it is. That's why you could only cry."
Her thumb gently caressed your cheek, her (E/C) optics softening.
"When you can no longer tell yourself what you really feel, it becomes unbearable until you can no longer take it. We cry because we couldn't take our emotions anymore. It's like, our way of saying how much hurt, happy, or angry we are. So, (Y/N). . ."
She placed another hand on your cheek.
"When you cry, that doesn't mean you're showing everyone how weak you are, and easy to give up. Instead, you show them how strong you've become, because you're able to hold back so far."
Your eyes widened. "I'm. . . not weak?"
Your mom giggled, pinching and caressing your cheeks.
"No, you're not weak. You're my strong, cute princess (Y/N)!"
You shut your eyes for a moment, reopening after you played back on that memory. Even though she was the one who was in so much pain; even though she was the one whom you've seen cry a few times at night as she suffered, your mom still remained strong. All for the sake of her family.
You looked down at the ground. The bitter and painful memories of your current life coming back to you. You bit your bottom lip. It hurts much more than tripping and falling.
You looked down at your hand, small sparks flickering on the tips of your fingers. You thought back to earlier, when you had that urge to use your quirk on Michiko. You clenched your hand into a fist, pressing your lips together.
"Oi."
You jumped as you heard a male's voice coming from beside you. You looked up, expecting to see a total stranger, but you were relieved when you saw that it was only Bakugou.
"Katsu. . ." you breathed out his name, studying his outfit of a simple hoodie and sweatpants. Your eyes drifted down to the plastic bag he's holding. You turned your gaze back to his eyes, raising a hand as a greeting.
"Hey, what are you doing here at this time?"
Bakugou scoffed. "I should be asking you that damn question."
You shrugged, turning your gaze away. "Just out for a walk, I guess." you shot him a glance. "You?"
He ruffled his spiky blonde locks, sighing tiredly.
"The old hag made me go buy some fucking tofu."
You let out a laugh as Bakugou settled on the empty swing next to you, groaning in annoyance. He grumbled about having to go out at this hour just to buy tofu. As you slowly swung yourself, his crimson orbs glanced down, noticing your clothes. (Fave cartoon/anime), huh?
His eyes glanced up your face, noticing how your eyes were slightly swollen. The bags on your eyes were quite noticeable. You looked so exhausted.
"Oi, (Y/N)," he called. You gave him a hum as a reply.
"Something happened, didn't it?"
Your heart skipped a beat, eyes widening. Damn, he's so perceptive. You tightened your grasp on the swing's handles. Should I tell him? There's nothing wrong with telling. He's probably not that kind of guy who'd make fun of me or something.
You secretly peeked at him, finding him turned away from you, but you knew he was expecting an answer. You bit your bottom lip. I should. . . I should tell him.
You took a deep breath, opening your mouth to speak. Only as you did, you suddenly felt this rush of fear crawl up your system. You froze, mouth agape, pupils trembling.
Huh? Why? Why can't I talk? You pressed your lips together, swallowing thickly. You tried to utter just one word, but it felt like you wanted to vomit instead. Dark memories started flashing in your mind.
Talk. Come on, just talk! Your bottom lip trembled, your mind going blank. You were starting to forget what you were supposed to say, feeling a huge lump in your throat that's preventing you to speak.
Bakugou turned to you, his eyes widening as he saw your expression. You were so. . . full of fear. He could see you already quivering. Broken gasps escaped your lips.
Why can't I talk?! Why do I feel so. . . scared?
"Hey, (Y/N). . ." he called your name, but you didn't react. Seeing you acting like this, made him want to throw his arms around you and embrace you. He had no clue what caused you to be like this.
Bakugou couldn't take it anymore and stood up, moving to crouch down in front of you. You didn't even notice him, as you were trying to calm yourself in your position. You didn't know it yourself, why you felt so scared suddenly; why you couldn't even manage to speak and tell someone about your biggest problem.
"(Y/N)," he tried to call you again, but there was still no response. He placed both hands on your shoulders, shaking you back and forth as gently as he could.
"Oi, snap out of it!"
You did as told, snapping back to reality when you heard his voice shouting at you. You met eyes with him, seeing him so close that you could see how his ruby optics glowed as light softly illuminated his face. His presence near you was enough to feel yourself finally calming down. Your shoulders relaxed, heart going back to its normal beating.
"Katsu. . ." you let out a long breath, relieved that you weren't having trouble breathing again.
"That's right. It's me," he said, studying your face to see if you had completely calmed down.
"What the hell just happened to you?"
To be honest, I have no idea as well. Your mind had cleared down, but you still didn't know what to say to him. I thought it'd be okay to tell him, yet. . . why?
"Hey, look at me," only then did you realize that you had tore your gaze away from him. You snapped your eyes back at him.
"Now, tell me, what the hell just happened? What's going on, (Y/N)?"
Surprisingly, he isn't calling me by some weird nickname this time. You swallowed thickly. If I try to tell him again, I might become like that again.
You bit your bottom lip for who knows how many times now. I have to. . . lie to him for now. You pulled your lips up into a smile, hiding yourself yet again behind your mask.
"Come on, what're you asking all of a sudden, Katsu?" you held both of his hands, pulling them away from your shoulders.
"I'm fine. I just remembered a nightmare I had when I woke up from a nap earlier," a nightmare that I always have even when I'm awake.
"It was so scary. I don't wanna remember it for even a second!"
Bakugou was quite surprised with your answer. A nightmare. . . and she became like that? He couldn't really believe it. You looked so. . . traumatized. Can a nightmare actually do that to a person?
As much as he wanted to ask again, he pretended to have believed you. He ruffled his hair, sighing exasperatedly.
"What the hell? That was it?" he grumbled. You laughed.
"Sorry for making you worry, Katsu~" you said in a teasing tone. Bakugou playfully shoved your head.
"Like hell I'm worried," you giggled as you pulled his hand away. "You're acting weird all of a sudden, like damn."
"Sorry, sorry." you got up, neatening your clothes. "Well, I guess it's time for me to go home."
Bakugou huffed, also standing up, taking the plastic bag that he placed beside the swing he sat on.
"Hmph. Glad to know you're now aware."
You playfully stuck your tongue out, walking with him up to the exit of the park. As you turned away to proceed on your way home, you raised a hand up as farewell to him.
"Well then, Katsu, see you tomorrow." you began walking away, not even hearing a response from him. Only, a few steps after you said goodbye, you stopped, hearing another set of footsteps from behind you. You turned, surprised to see Bakugou right there.
"Eh? Katsu, isn't your home in the opposite direction?" you pointed a finger at the direction of his house, Bakugou clicking his tongue.
"I fucking know where my house is," he stated.
"Then, why—"
"I'm walking you home, dumbass."
". . . Eh?"
You blinked, wondering if your ears had deceived you. I mean, this Bakugou Katsuki! Bakugou. . . walking me home. . .
You gasped dramatically in realization, covering your mouth with your hand.
"Katsu, are you—"
"Don't start getting weird ideas or some shit." you closed your mouth instantly. Bakugou clicked his tongue again, walking passed you with a huff.
"You look like you're still out of it, so I'm just making sure you don't crash into a pole or something."
You felt your face heat up, feeling something strange stir up inside you. Am I gonna vomit again? You shook your head as Bakugou called to you, jogging towards him to catch up.
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On the way, you conversed to Bakugou about random things. You doing most of the talking while he just listened to you, ocassionally giving off side comments. You were actually starting to relax now. The small panic attack you had before wasn't in your mind anymore. All you thought of was the ash blonde male, and the warmth you felt now that he was there with you.
Amidst your conversation, you realized that you were nearing the corner leading to the street to your house. You stopped walking, turning to Bakugou.
"I think I'm good here, Katsu," you said. "My house is just around this corner. I can handle it from here."
He replied with a huff. You smiled softly.
"Thanks for walking me home, Katsu. That's surprisingly sweet of you."
Bakugou was startled with your last statement, fighting off the blush that he felt crawling up his cheeks. He turned away.
"At least you got your head out your ass now."
You pouted, softly punching him by the shoulder.
"Alright, alright. I'm going now."
You turned away, hearing Bakugou's footsteps starting to distance from you. Your eyes softened as you cast your eyes downward, now feeling a sense of loneliness and. . . dread.
I'm. . . going home now. As you lifted your foot to take a step forward, you found yourself turning to the opposite direction instead. Before you knew it, you were running towards where he was going.
Bakugou was walking quietly, thoughts of what happened earlier clouding his mind. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, eyes widening as he was startled with the feeling of someone gripping the sleeve of his hoodie. He turned, seeing you with your head lowered so your bangs cast a shadow over your eyes, your thumb and index finger holding his sleeve.
"Hey, wha—" he cut off his sentence as he heard you let out a shaky exhale.
"Don't. . ." you spoke in a soft voice, tightening your grip on his sleeve. "Don't go. Don't. . . leave me yet. . ."
What is she saying all of a sudden? I thought she was fine already?
In your mind, you wished that he'd just pull you towards him, whisper to you that he wasn't going anywhere. You didn't want him to go. You didn't want him to leave you alone to go back to your nightmare of a life again. You wanted to stay beside him. Then again, these were all just thoughts.
"Hey, (Y/N)," Bakugou spoke. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you want to go home?"
No. I don't want to. I hate my house. I hate my life.
You know, Katsu. My mom died when I was young, and I now live with my stepmom who abuses me everyday, and my dad who didn't know who her new wife really is.
I slave over my bitch of a stepmom who does nothing but waste money. I took on a part-time job so I could earn money and get the hell out of my shithole of a house, but it turns out, the bitch even had the nerve to take the money I worked hard for.
My dad still doesn't know what she does to me. Everyday I become miserable and miserable everytime I come home.
That's what's wrong with me, Katsu. . .
. . . No. Stop. I can't. . . do this.
"I. . ." you breathed, your grip on him slowly loosening. I can't do this. He might get dragged in. I don't want that. . .
"I'm kidding!" you looked up at him with the biggest smile you could muster, raising your hands up in a joking manner.
Bakugou looked at you like he wasn't buying your reason anymore. Yet you still tried. Your mask wasn't going to break down now.
"I forgot to tell you one more time. See ya tomorrow!" you turned away, bolting into a run before the ash blonde could even react. He was left staring into the empty street as you quickly turned the corner, thinking deeply to himself why you were acting so peculiar.
Meanwhile, you ran as fast as your legs could carry, almost tripping on the way. The cold air brushed past you, small tears already escaping your eyes. You reached your house and passed the gate the same sneaky way as when you went out, using your quirk to zip your way up to your veranda which you left unlocked. You entered your room panting, then hastily wiping the stray tears on your face. You walked to the door of your room, slightly opening it to peek outside. You could hear the faint volume of the tv from downstairs, meaning Michiko and your dad were still awake. You sighed, closing the door then locking it.
You slowly walked towards your bed, feeling your legs suddenly weakening as you dropped on the floor with a soft thump. You held your hands on your chest, clenching the material of your pajama shirt. You felt a painful tug in your heart. You were frustrated, angry at yourself for not having enough courage to even tell someone of your situation.
"Damn it," you muttered, gritting your teeth as you lowered your torso. "I'm such a. . ."
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You ended up getting to sleep for only 2 hours, and you were again woken up with Michiko shouting and banging on your door. You put up no resistance as you readied yourself for another day at school, then went downstairs to prepare food.
After cooking and cleaning up, you packed up your dad's lunch, not even bothering to make your own one as you quickly put away the apron and snatched your bag, leaving the house without even a farewell to your dad.
You walked your way to school, lost in thought. Your stomach growled, so you decided to stop by the convenience store to buy you some food you can eat for breakfast and maybe for lunch as well.
As you neared the gates of U.A, you saw Bakugou who also just arrived. You gently slapped both of your cheeks. Right, it's back to the usual (Y/N) today. You pulled your lips up into a big smile, jogging towards him.
"Hey, Katsu!" you stopped by his side, a hand raised. "Morning!"
Bakugou looked down at you, giving you a nod as a reply to your greeting.
"Did you sleep last night?" he asked, not even looking at you.
"Eh? Hmm. . ." you wondered for a moment. "Yeah, I did."
He didn't say anything after that, and the two of you went to class in silence.
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Lunch time came. As usual, you went up to the rooftop. You saw Bakugou already there, a lunch box on his hand.
"Oh, nice. Now you're the one who's got a boxed lunch today, Katsu!" you sat down beside him, in your hands were a sandwich that you bought from the convenience store, and a can of juice.
"It's unusual for you not to eat with Kirishima today," you said, taking a bite of your sandwich.
"Hmph. Shitty hair and pikachu are hella noisy today, so no."
You chuckled. This is good. Just the usual Katsu, and the usual (Y/N).
Unbeknownst to you, Bakugou kept his eyes on you, intently studying your expression. You were back to your usual self, unlike the side he saw you last night. When he asked you if you slept last night, your answer was obviously a lie. The bags in your eyes seemed to darken. You looked more exhausted, actually.
"Don't. . . leave me yet. . ."
The way you said that, the tone of your voice, the way you held onto him as if for dear life. Something is clearly wrong. Something's happening in her house. The panic attack you had when he asked you what's wrong, your trembling figure that's begging him for help, and how quick you were to dodge the topic whenever you looked like you broke out of character.
Yeah. She's hiding something from me.
"Hey, Katsu," he snapped out of his thoughts the moment you called his name. Luckily you weren't looking at him, or you would've caught him staring at you.
"I'm still hungry." you said, turning to him as your stomach growled.
"What the hell? Didn't you just eat?"
You pouted. "But I'm still hungryy~!" you whined. Bakugou sighed, ruffling his blonde hair.
"Ah geez," he groaned, looking down at his leftovers. As much as he still wanted to eat, he was sure you wouldn't stop whining, so he handed you his lunch box. Your eyes lit up as you gratefully took it, finishing up his lunch. Bakugou watched you eat, a satisfied smile on your face.
"You look like you haven't ate for weeks," he said, you shooting him a glare as you continued to eat. "What, are you trying to gain weight?"
You finished eating, puffing out your cheeks as you pouted again.
"Am not!" you placed the lunch box away.
"Yes, you are. Maybe you have gained some weight already." he poked a finger on your side, to which you let out a yelp of surprise.
"Hm? I think my suspicions are right." he poked your side again a couple of times, you having the same reaction.
"H-Hey, stop it! I did not gain weight!" you protested, trying to scoot away as Bakugou continued to poke you.
"Too late." you gasped as he lurched forward, pinning both of your hands above your head. You blushed at the position, but seeing him smirk mischieviously, you knew what he was up to.
Bakugou flexed his fingers. You tried to break free, but his grip is hella strong. To your horror, you felt his fingers ghosting over your side. Before you knew it, you were bursting out in laughter as he attacked you in your ticklish spots.
"Hahaha! Katsu! Stop—hahaha! I'm dying! Stop in the name of my heart—hahaha!" you tried to speak between your laughter. You squirmed underneath him, the blonde boy secretly enjoying how close your body was to his own, and the smile on your face. It wasn't forced or anything, you were smiling ang laughing genuinely.
Amidst your laughing and Bakugou's tickle torture, you felt your phone vibrate in your skirt pocket. You begged the opposite male to stop for the last time, him gladly obliging. You sat up, fishing out your phone, then answering the call after you had calmed down.
"Hello?"
Bakugou looked at you, now it felt like you were truly yourself again. He felt somewhat relieved. You looked like you were re-energized.
At least, that's what he thought.
[Hello? Is this (L/N) (Y/N)?]
He waited for you to finish your call, his eyes still fixed on you. You haven't said anything yet, so the caller must've been telling you something that's going to be a long conversation. He thought to himself; that mask you wore, he wouldn't want to see that again. He wanted to make sure you won't have to look the same as last night.
But when he saw your expression drop down, once again, he felt like he failed to do something again.
". . . What did you say?"
Your eyes widening in shock, lips parting open. That was the last expression he saw on you.
. . .
. . .
. . .
The following week, and the week after that, you didn't show up in school.
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I'll leave it another cliffhanger! I'm sorryyyy *bows repeatedly*
This isn't over yet! I still have some more ideas and angst stored up, so look forward to the next part, where our precious hedgehog will get more involvement!
Also, I had to cut this here 'cause my fingers are starting to hurt and I'm arguing with my brother how to pronounce 'pharaoh'.
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