January, 1981.
One cold January night, Benny and Frida were preparing to finally be able to sleep after a hectic day since they had returned to work and with Göran the work had become double.
Benny closed the door of the bedroom and went to the bed next to Frida who was already there with her eyes closed but still awake. Benny put his hands on her breasts and began to caress them while kissing her cheeks and then her mouth. Frida didn't refuse and put her hands on his nape as they kissed.
Benny got on top of her lifting her white nightgown and bringing his hands to her ass. Frida closed her eyes while getting aroused, Benny kissed her everywhere, going down to her breasts, he lowered the strips of the gown to leave her uncovered.
Benny took off his pajama flannel until his chest was bare, she put her hands there while caressing him, both looked at each other full of passion and warmth, they wanted and needed to be together. Their lips came together again and their tongues became more than friendly, Frida let out a few small moans that drove Benny crazy and excited him even more.
The charm and passion was gone the moment they heard a cry, Benny stopped and they both looked at each other until they heard Göran crying again, Benny took off from her and stepped aside. Frida quickly got up and fixed her gown by pulling up the straps, put on her slippers and went to Göran's room, who was still crying. She took him in her arms and began to rock him slowly, Benny entered the room and approached them.
Frida: Benny, can you prepare the feeding bottle?
Benny nodded and while Frida sat in the rocking chair to get Göran to stop crying while rocking and caressing his little head, Benny gave her the bottle of milk and she began to give it to him. Benny sat next to her until they waited until the baby finished eating and could sleep.
When they finally succeeded, Benny carried him and put him back in his crib and they returned to their bedroom. They wrapped themselves in the sheets and turned off the lamps, and neither of them wanted to do anything but sleep. Each one took their sides and they just fell asleep.
The next day, they got up early because Göran did so, while Benny bathed, Frida fed Göran and while Frida bathed, Benny took care of him. Then both went down to breakfast while Lise-Lotte took care of little Göran.
Despite how tired Frida was, she said goodbye to her baby and she and Benny went to the studio because they had some meetings and recorded some things.
Upon arriving, Frida first went to take her second cup of coffee of the day accompanied by Agnetha. She tried to stay awake but her dark circles betrayed her.
Frida: it's normal for children to cry, but Göran cries twice as much as a child can cry. I don't know if I will be able to do this.
Agnetha: of course, of course you will be able to do that and more.
Björn came in and told the girls that they would soon start recording their voices for Stig Anderson's birthday song. They were to be able to start, while receiving the instructions from their boys Frida looked at her coffee cup waiting for it to take effect. Then they went into the booth and put on the headphones and started recording. They did it over and over again until in the end it was how they expected.
They left and went to the control area, Björn reproduced it and smiled, they were happy with the results they had obtained. Around noon they took a break, Benny took Frida's hand and led her where there was nobody and whispered.
Benny: what if we do it here?
Frida: how? here?
Benny: Yes, it wouldn't be the first time and at home it seems to be impossible.
Frida looked at him for a few seconds and didn't know if it was crazy or really that was their chance, she kissed him as an answer, Benny took advantage of the others had gone to buy food and didn't know where Görel was, went to her office and locked the door.
Benny carried Frida and climbed her on the desk and began to kiss, the fact of imagining that someone could discover them were very excited, Frida kissed his ears while he kissed her neck, then continued kissing their lips with some bites.
Frida got off the table and while kissing Benny sat in the chair that had in front, she sat on him feeling his erection. Frida was kissing all his ear that was red and hot while he couldn't contain emitting sounds of pleasure.
He unbuttoned his pants and she lifted her skirt, at the moment of the penetration they felt the sky and the seven sins at the same time, their bodies got even hotter and it was like an explosion full of sensations.
Frida began to move from top to bottom while both were embraced, at the first minute Benny couldn't contain himself anymore and burst, moaning until he couldn't, he came inside her. Frida was stunned for a few seconds without moving, Benny didn't know what to do or say, felt helpless, embarrassed and frustrated for having come before time and especially to have left Frida dissatisfied.
She was also frustrated for what had happened, she got up fixing her panties and then her skirt, she didn't know what to say, Benny closed his pants zipper again and Frida opened the door of the office, at that moment Görel was about to enter and was surprised to see her there with that disenchanted face and looking inside she saw Benny was still sitting in the chair, Frida looked back and then to Görel again and without saying anything left the office.
Agnetha and Björn were eating lunch and seeing her Agnetha said.
Agnetha: Frida, we brought you food, come before it gets cold.
Frida ignored her and went to the bathroom, closed the door and sat on the toilet to cry, she felt bad for what had happened, but also because she was tired and was afraid of not being able to be enough wife for Benny, a good mom for Göran and continue giving 100% in her work.
She hated the fact that in order to make love to Benny, they had to be away from home and it still wouldn't work. She was exhausted not only physically but mentally, she did not imagine that having a child again would be so difficult and would cause her so much frustration.
She didn't regret it, she loved Göran more than her own life and she couldn't imagine without him, but she was very afraid and full of doubts that she couldn't avoid and felt that she didn't know what was going to do with her life.
She washed her face and looked in the mirror to see if her eyes were very red and the truth is that she couldn't avoid it. She dried up and left the bathroom, Benny was with Agnetha and Björn talking but she didn't want to approach them, she couldn't even look Benny in the eye and he could not look at her either. Frida knocked on the door of Görel's office and she told her to come in, opened it and entered, closed it and then went to sit on the sofa.
Frida: can I stay here?
Görel: of course, does something happen to you?
Frida: it's nothing, I'm just tired.
Frida took advantage of her peace of mind and slept for a while while Görel worked. Benny returned to work with Björn without even being able to face Frida, had to mix the song for the birthday of Stig that was approaching. Agnetha went to see where Frida was but how she saw her sleeping didn't want to bother her and just stayed talking to Görel.
After half an hour, Agnetha woke her up because they had a meeting, Frida woke up and went to the meeting room. Although Benny and Frida were sitting together they didn't even touch each other, exchanged looks and fewer words, while the others talked. Frida was lost in her thoughts and didn't pay attention to anything they said.
She only thought about leaving, running but had no escape, after two hours of full debate about ABBA's plans finally ended, as Agnetha and Frida had nothing else to do there they decided they would go to the house while Benny and Björn were still working.
Frida came to her house and took her baby in her arms. He was very restless. Lise-Lotte told her that he had spent most of the day crying. Frida became worried that Göran was fine for that while he slept she watched over his dreams. She kept thinking about how much her intimacy with Benny was changing and she worried that things would go wrong.
At night, while Frida changed diapers to Göran noticed that his temperature had risen and although at that time he wasn't crying she kept thinking about the fact that the whole day had been uncomfortable, Frida took a thermometer and realized his temperature was at 38.7, Frida asked Lise-Lotte to call Benny to Polar and to let him know that the baby had a fever while she was preparing him to go to the hospital, she called and then returned with Frida.
Lise-Lotte: I was told that Benny left about 1 hour ago.
Frida rolled her eyes and asked her to stay with Göran for a moment, she dialed to Agnetha to ask if Björn had come home and she said yes, Frida spoke with Björn but he had no idea where Benny was. She simply decided to ignore everything, took the keys to her car and with the help of the nanna went to the hospital.
When arriving, Frida quickly sought out her pediatrician but was in surgery and had to wait a bit, at least Göran wasn't so restless because he had already taken milk and was more relaxed.
After a long time in the waiting room, Frida worries about knowing what happened and at the same time angry because she didn't know where Benny was going and didn't say anything to her.
Then the doctor went to attend Göran, did the corresponding exams and kept him under observation for a while so that Frida was calmer. Apparently it was only a virus and the fever appeared because the body was fighting the virus, the doctor gave her the indications of what she had to do and since the fever had diminished significantly he let them go.
•••
Benny was in Alexandra Club, he needed to clear his mind and forget what had happened to stop feeling so guilty. There he met Mona and they spent a nice night, drinking and talking, the truth is that she was very nice and she looked beautiful, she listened to him all the time while accompanying him and seemed to be very patient, her smile gave him encouragement and hope .
Alcohol, nostalgia and good company were wrapped in the charm of that woman who had the courage to be perfect. He was simply coaxed into that good angel, a dream for anyone. How could she be so beautiful? but he was afraid of losing control.
Benny: I have to go, it's not right that we're here.
When Benny got up he was so drunk that he couldn't stand on his own feet, Mona took him by the arm and they went to his car, she helped him to sit in the passenger seat and then went to the other seat to drive. They went to her apartment and up the stairs, she opened the door and Benny sat on the sofa. She poured more whiskey for him as she watched him drink and smile.
She helped him to get to her bed, took off his shoes and clothes and covered him with the sheets, she also undressed completely and wrapped herself around him hugging him and interlacing their legs.
The next day, she woke him to kisses, at first before opening his eyes he was smiling thinking that he had woke up with Frida and when he opened his eyes he was shocked to see who he was with and didn't even look like his wife. He got out of bed as fast as he could, almost pulling her towards him.
Mona: what's wrong with you?
Benny: what the fuck do I do here? —He asked confused and looking for his pants—.
Mona: Last night it seems like it made a lot of sense why you were here.
Benny: I don't remember anything, this shouldn't have happened.
Mona: but it happened and you were phenomenal.
Benny: no, i apologize but I don't think that something has happened between you and me.
Mona: No matter how much you deny it, I have the satisfaction that we were together and it was very special for me.
Benny was confused, he finished putting on his clothes and without saying anything he ran out of there, went to his car and stayed there for a while analyzing how he would get to his house. He was in a big mess and had to get out of there whatever. He was not thinking clearly, was very afraid because could lose Frida and knew he had screwed up a lot.
He went to his sister Eva's house and asked his brother-in-law to tell Frida that they had spent the night together, although Eva didn't agree to lie to Frida she had no other choice. Benny thanked them and went to his house.
He opened the door slowly, put the keys on the furniture in the entrance and walked to see where Frida was, he didn't see her on the first floor and so he went up to the bedroom, she was there dressing Göran, she looked up and when she saw him did not say anything, she simply ignored him and finished dressing her little angel.
Benny: hello m...
Frida: At this time do you think of appearing here?
Benny: sorry I lost the notion last night.
Frida: I hope you woke up very well with her so you don't waste time with me.
Frida left the bedroom with Göran and took him to his crib so he could sleep peacefully, as they had both had a bad night, made sure everything was fine and went back to her room to finish dressing.
Benny: Frida, it's not even what you're thinking... I just drank too much and I didn't know how to get back here, I wasn't going to drive drunk.
Frida: and as I'm very stupid, do you think I'll believe you?
Benny: You can call Eva's husband, we were together.
Frida: let's suppose it's true, but you didn't even care how your son was, while you were spending the night who knows where we had a bad time because he spent all the time with a fever and didn't even sleep.
Benny: what? how is he?
Shit, he had screwed up very ugly. His son needed him and he was not there for him, Frida had every reason to be angry and still felt very bad because he was lying to her but if she found out that he had spent the night with Mona everything was going to end and was going to be worst.
Frida: you know what Benny? Maybe I'm not enough for you as a wife but you can not neglect your son like that.
Benny approached her but she didn't want anything with him and that's why she separated.
Benny: don't say that, you are my everything. Sorry, I know I was not there when you needed me but I needed to go out and get clear, there are many things.
Frida: and what about me? Do you think I don't need it? Do you think I don't get tired? I don't feel bad? I'm stressed and that's why I don't do what you did last night, you didn't even have the decency to respect me.
Benny: Frida, I love you and I really ask you to forgive me, the drinks went to my head and I didn't know more about myself until this morning.
Frida: I'm tired, Benny... I'm tired of all this! Don't even think I'm going to forgive you for spending the night outside your house and not helping me when I needed you the most.
Benny: I am too, how do you think I felt after what happened yesterday? I'm a failure, I don't even serve you as a man, I can't do anything right, I'm stressed and disenchanted, I'm so stupid I don't even know why you're still with me.
Benny began to cry like a child, his tears fell more and more, he was frustrated, hurt and felt inadequate, besides being the biggest asshole. Frida stared at him without saying anything and couldn't stand, she knew that he was also pressed and it hurt to see him like that, she knew it wasn't easy for a man and less for him to be precocious and although she didn't forgive him or forget that he slept far from home she needed to calm him first before continuing to claim him.