"Nice to meet you, Rafael," I replied sweetly.
"Where's the kid?" Rafael asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You put him to bed already?"
While Christy was drooling over Rafael and Billy was watching him like a hawk, I was chewing the bottom of my lip nervously, intimidated by his presence and uncomfortable with the awkwardness coming off of each and everyone of us that was sitting at the table. Who was this guy and why was he in my house? Why was he holding such an impact over Billy and everybody else? How did he know I was in jail?
Shrugging, I drummed my nails along the edge of the table, "He's sleeping. I put him down early so when and if he wakes up at two in the morning, he's not overly cranky."
God, I'm a good liar. In fact, I'm an amazing liar. I'm just like my fucking mother, a liar. I've become everything that I told myself I'd never be. I've become my mother.
Life needs to do an immediate 360... I can't be like this.
Rafael nodded slowly, "Makes sense."
"So what do you do?" Christy interrupted, either sensing the awkward tension between him and I, or she just was genuinely interested in him.
Rafael turned his head to look at Christy and cracked a small smirk, "What don't I do?"
"Why don't you tell him what your ol' ass boyfriend Hank does?" Julia suggested with a snide smile.
Christy shot her a glare, Megan nudged her in the ribs and I closed my eyes and sighed in irritation.
"What boyfriend?" Billy asked, shooting his head up and over to Christy.
"He's not really my boyfriend, he's just... uh...-"
"Anyone need another beer?" Jack asked trying to change the subject.
"Sure, I'll have one, bud," Rafael answered Jack.
"Billy..." I started.
"He hasn't even been dead for a fuckin' year and you're already out fuckin' around?" Billy hissed between gritted teeth, seething with anger.
"Billy stop..." I warned.
"Yo, Billy," Bodie jumped in, trying to distract him to calm him down.
"I didn't, I mean... I uh," Christy stuttered.
"Shit... did I say the wrong thing?" Julia whispered to Jamie who was sitting there with his chin in one of his hands and shaking his head slightly.
Billy chuckled evilly, "Typical fuckin' junkie whore"
"Woah," Rafael drawled, lifting his brows in surprise as Jack handed him a beer.
"Billy fucking stop," I demanded.
"I'm sorry, I loved him too-" Christy tried to say but was cut off.
"Oh I bet you fuckin' did, all the drugs your little-"
Pushing my chair out, I stood up, "ENOUGH!"
Everyone except for Billy, glanced up at me taken back by my sudden outburst. My chest was heaving in and out. I could hear Shaun begin to cry upstairs causing me to sigh in aggravation. I ran my fingers through my hair and threw my hands up in disbelief.
"We're getting married on saturday," I announced, glancing down at Billy who was still staring a hole right through Christy.
"Yeah you are!" Spink exclaimed, "Saturday at 1, we set it up,"
"I see everyone already knows..." I mumbled, clicking my jaw to the side.
"Except for me," Rafael announced, holding up his beer, "Congratu-fuckin'-lations"
"Thank you," I breathed, giving him a weak smile, "Now... can everyone fucking get along for once?! Hate it or love it, but we've lost a lot of people - family, friends - we are all each other got. So fuckin' deal with it. Eat, drink, get fucked up and have a good time, but for fuck sakes, no more fighting."
"We're family..." I breathed in a calmer tone.
"Mom has spoken," Megan taunted, winking at me.
I giggled, "Yes, she fuckin' has. Now do it!"
As soon as I sat back down, Billy leaned over and pressed his lips against my ear, sending chills up my spine, "That's my girl."
"Looks like I might just be cut out to be with you, after all." I whispered, running my hand up his thigh under the table. Billy caught my hand in his, stopping me from going any further. I giggled, "Question is, do you have what it takes Mr. Darley?"
"Keep doing that shit and I'm gonna fuck you in the bathroom," He whispered in my ear.
Rafael cleared his throat, gaining our attention, "Your kid is still bawling up there,"
"I'll go deal with him," Billy said flatly.
I cocked an eyebrow up, "Uh... that's okay, I'll do-"
"I can do it," He cut me off sharply, "He's my kid too."
I pressed my tongue against the inside of my cheek, "Uh... okay, if you need me just yell,"
With that, Billy left the table and headed upstairs, leaving the rest of us to eat our dinner and drink and laugh. Surprisingly, Rafael didn't seem all that cocky and bad once you started to get to know him. I still didn't trust him as far as I could throw him, but he wasn't bad to be around.
Rafael was attractive, tall and built. His hair was a chocolate brown, long on the top and shaved on the sides, an 'undercut' is what they call it. His beard matched his hair colour, and was neatly trimmed to perfection. His amber coloured eyes twinkled whenever he'd chuckle, drawing in more attention to himself. Attractive couldn't even begin to describe him.
But while he was attractive, he was dangerous. There was something about his cockiness that told me he was dangerous enough that he was entitled to be as cocky and carefree as he was. There had to be something, considering how timid Billy was around this guy. Billy is the alpha dog, nobody intimidates the leader... and the only person whoever has - Bones - isn't here anymore to do so, thanks to Billy.
Power and money seeped from Rafael. He's important, that I know, he's dangerous, that I know. Billy is dangerous, more dangerous than ANYONE. Why is this man who can create tension in Billy's life, around? What has Billy gotten himself into?
"I am drunk... as fuck," Julia announced with a giggle. "I gotta hand it to you Darley's or... Darley and soon to be Darley, you guys can throw a shindig,"
"Wait until Saturday night," Jamie chuckled, "We're gonna get fucked up."
"Fuck yeah we are, Billy and Amber's wedding!" Spink joined in, throwing back his beer.
"I can't," I winced, "Shaun-"
"Nah don't you worry about Shaun, girl. I got my momma comin' here saturday night to keep an eye on him," Bodie said with a smile. "Before you get that look on ya face, my momma's a careworker for autistic people, she know's what she's doin, she ain't like me if that's what ya worried about,"
"She's like his sister, Detective Wallis." Billy finished for Bodie, knowing that I knew exactly who he was referring to.
I gulped and nodded, "Are you sure she's okay with that?"
"Yeah, she raised all of our asses pretty much," Billy replied.
"She was that momma bear around the block, feeding us gang of pricks and making sure we had a place to crash when shit got rough at home," Jamie explained.
"She's good shit, Amber," Spink assured me.
"Okay..." I breathed, accepting defeat.
"Mind if I bring a friend?" Rafael asked, staring over at Billy, who nodded slowly, "Just my brother,"
"The more the merrier," Christy smiled.
"Well, then I'll see you all on saturday." Rafael smirked, getting up and motioning Billy to follow him over to the door.
Everyone was either busy helping Megan and I clean up or talking as they got ready to leave, making it hard for me to listen in on what Rafael was telling Billy. I frowned in annoyance and continued clearing the dirty dishes from the table.
Eventually the house was clean and everyone had left except Christy. Billy stayed inside with Chop and Shaun while Christy and I sat out on the steps, smoking cigarettes and talking as we waited for "Hank" to pick her up.
"I'm sorry about earlier, he was out of line," I said softly, exhaling smoke through my nose.
Christy flicked the ashes from her cigarette down onto the ground, "He's right though, I'm a mess."
"Are you back on drugs?" I asked directly getting to the point, looking down at my feet to avoid awkward eye contact.
Christy let out a deep sigh, "Just cocaine."
"How often?"
"Often enough,"
"You're not gonna quit are you?"
Christy shrugged, "I will. It's just a party thing I do,"
"Maybe it's time to quit partying so much?" I suggested before taking another drag off of my cigarette.
"Maybe," She mumbled.
"Things are sure different hey?" I chuckled in disbelief, trying to lighten up the conversation.
"Yeah," Christy laughed faintly, "Things can change at the blink of an eye,"
"I'm a mom... I'm getting married..." I whispered, trying to take in the surreal feeling.
"I wish I could be in your shoes, even with all the shit that you deal with," Christy laughed, her smile quickly fading from her face as she stared up at the night sky.
"What? A mom?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.
Christy nodded and her smile started to reappear, "Believe it or not, yes."
"You hate kids..." I reminded her.
"Cause most of them are little fuckers.... But that doesn't mean that someday I don't want kids," She corrected me.
"That's something I never thought I'd hear coming from your mouth," I snorted.
Christy rolled her eyes and slightly shoved me with her shoulder, "Don't be an asshole, If you can do it, I can do it."
"Oh, I know you can... but how are you gonna do that with Billy Bob Thornton over there pulling up?" I snickered, nodding towards the car that just pulled into my driveway.
"He does not!" Christy gasped, realizing that I was referring to Hank looking identical to the famous actor.
I giggled, "Yes he fuckin' does. Looks just like him, probably just as old too!"
"Don't be an asshole!" Christy laughed, "But fuck... you're right."
"Go, hurry before grandpa's viagra wears off," I teased.
"I'm gonna punch you!" Christy fake threatened, standing up and throwing her purse over her shoulder, "Come meet him!"
I clicked my jaw to the side and followed behind her down the driveway, "Your wish is my greatest command,"
"Shut up," She giggled in a hushed whisper.
Hank rolled down the passenger side window and looked me up and down, a sly smirk appearing on his face, "Well hi."
"Hey, I'm Amber," I introduced myself in the friendliest tone that I possibly could.
"Nice to meet you, Amber." He replied as Christy climbed into his car.
"Stop by tomorrow with Shaun?" She asked hopefully.
I nodded, "Sure, I'll see you in the morning."
"Not too early..." She groaned, knowing that I'm an early bird.
"I know, I know," I assured her as I leaned down to eye level, "Get home safe, and it was nice to finally meet you, Hank."
He smirked, looking completely and utterly identical to Billy-Bob, "Likewise."
A warm smile remained on my face as I waved the two of them off. I waited until Hank's car was no longer in sight before slowly making my way back into the house. The aroma of the house was a mix of candles that Julia had lit and the cleaner that was used to clean up in the kitchen. It reminded me of my parents home.
I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard Shaun cooing wide awake and noticed that there was light shining from inside of his bedroom. Slowly I made my way up the stairs and stopped at Shaun's door, slightly pushing it open unnoticed.
"Ya mom is usually the one that tell's ya shit to get you back to sleep huh?" Billy asked as he carefully scooped Shaun up in his arms and exhaled a deep sigh. Shaun buried his face into the crook of his father's neck, "I can't think of anything off the top of my head, kiddo."
Shaun cooed and I smiled as Billy paced around the room.
"Wanna hear a quote?" Billy asked, "It's ya daddy's favorite quote. People have it in their minds that Al Pacino said it, but he didn't. It's a quote that some guy named Emo Phillips said," Billy started.
Shaun yawned but lifted his head and stared at me from over Billy's shoulder. I smiled and waved at my beautiful son, who now was jamming his fist in my toothless mouth.
"When I was a kid, I use to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole the bicycle and I prayed for God to forgive me," Billy quoted, pulling a now sleeping Shaun away from his shoulder and carefully setting him back down in his crib.
"Sounds like you," I said, finally letting it be known that I was there.
Billy sniffed and rubbed his nose quickly, "It does,"
I could tell that he was slightly embarrassed that I had just walked in how him being a dad and not a ruthless gang leader. Little did he know that I found him to be the most perfect and impressive at this very moment than I ever have before.
"You're doing fine," I assured him as we left Shaun's bedroom.
"Yeah?" He asked as we made our way into our own room.
"Mhm," I replied, slowly pulling my shirt up over my head. "Billy?"
"Yeah?"
"What's the one thing you didn't expect to ever become in your life?"
"A father," He laughed cynically, sitting down on the end of the bed and pulling me toward him by my hips.
I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, "You're a good father,"
Billy's mouth went to my jaw line where he placed a few soft kisses, ignoring my compliment. His lips eventually moved from my jaw over to my ear lobe, where he nipped at it with his teeth, driving me wild.
His rough hands ran up my sides and up along my back where they unclasped my bra and moved to my breasts as my bra slid down my arms. Billy's lips met mine and before I knew it, he had fell back on the bed and rolled us over so that I was underneath of him. His mouth trailed from my own, down my neck and to my bare breasts. His teeth nipped at the skin above my nipple, causing me to gasp. He chuckled against my skin at my reaction and began to suck at the spot where he had just bit.
But before we could continue, the sound of a cough followed by a loud piercing cry echoed throughout the house. I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned.
"Right now Shaun?" I whimpered, "Really?!"
"Fuck..." Billy muttered under his breath as he climbed off of me and tossed me one of his t-shirts.
"Looks like your little quote didn't work," I grumbled as I pulled the shirt on over my head.
"I already tried, it's your turn," Billy smirked, knowing that I was gonna be awake with Shaun for probably an hour or so while he gets to sleep peacefully.
I rolled my eyes, "It's your turn," I mimicked in a whiny exaggerated tone.
Just as I was about to leave the room, Billy gently grabbed me by my wrist and spun me around to face him, "You know I love you right?"
I nodded, "Yeah, I do."
He let go of my wrist and nodded slowly, "Good."
"Billy... is everything okay? How do you know Rafael-" I tried to ask.
"Everything's good, alright?" He cut me off.
I sighed, "...Okay."
"Just... I love ya,"
I smiled faintly, "I love you too."
Something just didn't feel right...