Type: Heartbreak - Song: 'Heaven in Hiding' and 'Angel On Fire' by Halsey
*DISCLAIMER: I am extremely aware this fandom is not a fan of Matthew Hussey, but please, do not read forward if this imagine will make you dislike him further than you already do. It's a fictional story for entertainment purposes, not reality, of course!
Penthouse parties were the worst. At least, that was your opinion. They were just like house parties but smaller. And with the large capacity fitting into a small area, you couldn't begin to say how it affected you and your brain — with the loud music, drunk people squeezing together with your presence, the fact you felt like you could never have a breath of fresh air. Your friends could never understand why penthouse parties weren't particularly your favorite when they had the time of their lives at them, however, this one that the three of you were approaching, they understood.
Your two best friends were aware of an ongoing romance that was kept hidden behind closed doors. Although you wouldn't really describe it as much of a romance, it was nothing serious but that's just because you're forced to keep it that way. You have to ignore the intensity you feel around her, you have to keep a safe distance around the small brunette or someone might suspect something, you can't look at her in the way she and you would prefer. Not in a provocative way or suggestive — you just have a desire to stare at her all night and admire the beauty in front of you.
The only time you're offered the chance to, it's at a time where you two are stuck in a private setting. As in, times where she might fly you out to the country she's visiting because she misses you and wants to spend the day with you. However, you can't run around town and act like something or whatever is there to reveal to the world. You're always in a hotel room together, in her private beach house in Miami that has the closest house about a mile away from it, or even on a private plane she often uses that her label owns. Wherever a sense of privacy is built, Camila Cabello seizes the opportunity.
And you weren't positive that this opportunity was about to be given considering you heard she was attending this penthouse party with her rumored boyfriend, Matthew Hussey. You can confirm that it was true — they had a make-believe romance that the public was too blinded by to look passed. Despite you have been one of Camila's closest friends for a while now, you still had yet to learn where she met the Brit.
You weren't fond of him, not much to Camila's surprise. She knew you wouldn't find his arrogant quirks nor the public display of affection that was a little too personal beyond Camila's own liking anything of your preference. And if she agreed to spit a little white lie she was dating Matthew, what in God's name attracted her to him? However, you swore to yourself you wouldn't ever ask that to the gorgeous Cuban.
The penthouse party was up on the 30th level of a building in New York City. It was a house-warming party hosted by an acquaintance of yours, the host being closer to your other two best friends — but instead of being the only penthouse party that was needed, this seemed like it was the sixth damn time you were congratulating him that he's financially supported enough to pay the expensive bills due to the New Yorker's large expenses. You were finding these parties more and more irritable.
You exited the elevator, dragging your feet down the hallway with beige walls and dark grey carpeting. Your friends, at this time, understood why you didn't want to walk through the fourth door to your right. They felt horrible to be bringing you here when they were now under the impression Camila and Matthew could pop up at any moment. Hours ago, your two best friends planned this to be yet another drunken night as irresponsible 21-year-olds that can blow through their cash with the amount of money they make. They didn't think the girl you were in love with would be showing up since she and you never had the desire for parties.
Your shoulders appeared to be low and loose, however, you felt tense. You set your body leaning against the wall. The Rolex on your wrist seemed to be intuitive with your heart rate. The beats bursting alive in the penthouse was heard outside in the hallways, the rapid speed of 808s coursed through your body like the shaking of a soda can and you were on the verge of exploding. Ironic, because that was the way you identified your feelings for Camila.
The door beside you — such an easy task for one to open, though, you weren't prepared to notice what or who's inside. The thought of entering through that door almost reminded you of a game of Where's Waldo? except you would have to spot Camila and her boyfriend. You wanted to spit the word boyfriend out of your mouth and step on it like a cigarette that wasn't for use any longer. The word boyfriend left a gross taste in your mouth as smoking a cigarette would.
"Y/N, you're going to have to just own it. No one will suspect a thing and maybe it will be easy isolating yourself from Camila. You know, out of everyone, she isn't one to create drama between you and Matthew." Ah, the words of encouragement as said by your best friend, Ashley! You appreciated it, you truly did, but right now wasn't the time to be thinking about the lover boy kissing Camila far too often.
You were thinking what you voiced, "I'm not worried about any of that and I don't care about Matthew. I fear I'll take one look at Cam and just completely fall apart."
"You know she has her eyes on you, though. Sure, Matthew might think of this dumb stunt as something real, but you shouldn't fear of falling apart when you know she would rather be anywhere but here and with you." Ashley said, "She would prefer things to be different. You have to believe that."
"Then, why wouldn't she tell me that herself?" It fell silent between Ashley, you, and Ben, the other close friend to you. Throwing Ashley at a loss for words wasn't a surprise, you expected it. You let out a dull chuckle, "See you around."
You wrapped your fingers around the doorknob, leaving no thought to stand in the way of opening the door. As you predicted, the party was crowded with guests. Definitely, not the last few to arrive but taking a look at the living room and the number of people just only in that space, it freaked you out a little bit. The living room had light grey walls with black furniture as its decor and aesthetic. Speakers were planted on each corner, playing some overplayed Pop song that you were too uninterested in to recognize.
You earned yourself a couple of hi's, smiles, a single hug, and all waves were exchanged. You introduced yourself to the guests you have never met and greeted the guests you've seen in the past. Meeting each person, you didn't neglect to ask one of them where the wine was located. To which, you were directed to the kitchen with each wine bottle, beer bottle, or margarita ingredients set on the counter. Glasses were in the cabinet, as you had noticed from the last few parties.
Pouring yourself a drink, you continued to greet some more guests. You had been offered to dance with one of the beautiful boys clustering around the living room but you didn't make the effort or the breath to play with one another's feelings when one seemed to be playing with your own. The feeling isn't something you can just throw in the back of your mind.
The living room consisting of more people, you were lost in the mix of it all. You continued dancing even though your heart felt as if it was about to burst out of your chest, but you blamed it on the music taking control of your heart rate. However, the second you spotted Camila and Matthew dancing together, you took no time to push people out of the way to escape the large group. She had caught a glimpse of you when she was just a step near you. She tried making an attempt to rail you back to where she was, but you were too quick squirming out of the living room.
You found yourself running up the flight of stairs, leading to several bedrooms and the balcony. The hallway was quiet and dark, just as you preferred. The window separating the two bedroom doors from each other revealed the night's moon in the cracks of the white curtains. You wanted to admire it but you knew an even better view would be the balcony. No one was advised to be upstairs, heck, you didn't even know if you were allowed to be up here.
You slid the sliding glass door open, stepping outside into the bright city from dozens of floors above. New York City was loud but nothing unbearable from the level you were at. The prettiness of each building lit up with lights, the light resulting from an apartment to any restaurant or just simply, a work environment. Almost like all of the lights in every window of each building had a story to it. It could have been something as simple as a family around the dinner table for their Saturday night meal or someone having to be stuck at a penthouse party. Hmm... Wonder who's Saturday night story that could belong to?
The wind wasn't too thick, enough to where the ends of your black bomber jacket were flipping around, but nothing too strong for your liking. You rested your arms on the balcony railing, your fingers dangling and your elbows not touching the cold metal. For a sufficient amount of minutes, your eyes were roaming around the city you've driven through countless times. However, you could never get over the sight. New York City wasn't just a place brightening up everybody's nights but it was notorious for brightening up the heart of a person who's experiencing trouble with themselves.
A city so big can make you feel so small. That's true, 100% true. But look at it this way, enjoying your surroundings could create a pathway for you loving your life. It tugs away the thought of you feeling out of place, so isolated and excluded from this Earth, which makes you realize, you're not alone. All the people crossing the street with you, they're fighting their own battles but we're all too hidden behind the mask of whom we struggle with to care about what's going on in their life. Selfish? Yup. Very selfish.
The mask you were currently hiding behind was the fact you felt like you were committing a crime because you have something so beautiful, full of intensity, as rare as discovering gold, and you have to keep it so secretive. You would think blurting it out to the public would ruin the sacredness but its only held when you two feel like you're both worth the effort to be there for one's tough endeavor and battle — and to mention, you were suffering from your own endeavor because Camila wasn't proving to you that you were worth the effort.
You heard footsteps approaching the open sliding door. You didn't feed any attention to it, for fear it was the host that would be ordering you to go back downstairs, though, that actually doesn't happen. The wind has dialed down for a moment as if it had been anticipating such a moment. To which, the sweet voice you could die for comes and crashes into contact with you.
"So, this is where you escaped to, huh, Hermosa?" (Spanish Translation: Hermosa - Beautiful)
The Spanish nickname was chosen months ago when she and you were on a private getaway somewhere in Cabo, Mexico. As you had already picked your nickname for her, it was simple, baby or baby girl. However, she wanted a nickname that could roll off her tongue easily. For hours, she kept deciphering some of the weirdest nicknames but it wasn't until she read a quote in a magazine that read, 'Eres el Hermoso diamante con el que sueño...", which means, 'You're the beautiful diamond I dream of...". Since then, that's been the nickname she has selected for you.
You resisted the urge to smile. To your surprise, it wasn't a difficult task when the subject on your mind was controlling your emotions. You needed to stop being so selfless — to not be so concerned about everybody else's feelings but your own. This was the only time you were set and stone on how you felt. Far too long, you've been setting aside your feelings to replace your priorities on another's. And that person is the brunette standing several feet away from you.
"Yeah, I guess so." You shrugged your shoulders.
Your gaze was up at the sky full of stars, it was often when New York had them, but the sight was a thing you could never get sick of watching. The contact and warmth you felt when two arms wrapped around your waist from behind was a tingle you couldn't defeat. You were sure Camila sensed the way you tensed up at her touch.
She stepped an inch closer, leaning on the railing beside you. Your eyes remained on the city but Camila's was focused on your side profile. She tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, her cold fingers touching your ear sent a shiver down your spine. "What's wrong, Hermosa?" Her bottom lip quivered from the other.
You didn't bother to answer the question, your sigh answered most the questions in Camila's mind. However, she still had one left unanswered, "Are you afraid?"
Tears built up in your eyes, causing your view of the city to be blurry. "Afraid of what, Camila?" You asked.
Camila's breath shot back into her throat, gulping after. You never called Camila, well, Camila, since you always had your selected nicknames for her. You never called Camila by her actual first name unless you were hurt or serious. Right now, she suspected you were both. Maybe it shouldn't alarm her as much as it does now, but maybe it should.
"I know you hate Matthew." She said, ending the silence of 40 seconds.
"Oh, gee, I wonder why." You remarked.
"Tell me what's bothering you. One minute, I watch you dance cutely in the living room, then, the next, I notice you running up the flight of stairs."
"I don't what to feel if I'm being honest." You said.
"Then, tell me what your options are. It's okay to feel more than one feeling." She replied.
"Is your heart really in this?"
Camila inhaled a sharp breath, her eyes beginning to widen. "What? Where's all this coming from?"
"You wanted me to tell you my options. One of them is questioning if you're in this as much as I am."
"Of course, I'm in this. There's no doubt. Why would you think I'm not?"
"If I'm so important to you, why do you hide me? It's more than just coming out to the public, I know it is."
"No, Y/N, that's the exact reason why I 'hide you'."
"Then, why did Matthew have to randomly pop up? Literally, he just entered your life out of nowhere."
"How else am I going to prove to the world I'm only attracted to boys?"
You chuckled, "The relationship is barely even public! Sure, there might be a few photos of you two here and there, but you've said it yourself in interviews, you prefer to keep your relationships quiet and private. Why can't we do that? No one is entitled to your love life — not your fans, not the public, God knows who else."
"What are you implying?"
"I'm done with feeling like I'm just the person you come to when it's convenient. You fly me out to random countries for what? We spend a few hours in a hotel, talk, drink, and have sex? Then, it's 'bye, bye, Y/N!'. I always end up like your second option, I'm never your top priority when I make you mine, I'm sick of juggling my feelings so you can pretend to be happy with Matthew."
Despite voicing everything you've experienced within the past several months, you still felt incomplete. Your heart was in a state of vulnerability. Your heart has now reached the center of hopelessness. Maybe you could fill that emptiness, but right now, it was Camila's decision to fill the space.
The brunette beside you was breaking into tears. She had no idea you've been feeling this way nor was it ever her intention to. You avoided the urge to hug her, but the message was springing to your brain like an alarm. You enveloped her into your embrace — you feared this would only continue to make your heart break even further but here comes the selflessness chip away at you.
You rested your chin on top of Camila's head, you were always a couple inches taller than her even when she was in heels. You would joke about it every so often and you would always earn yourself a playful smack on the shoulder. You wanted to let out a snicker at the thought but you restricted yourself, knowing this wasn't the time. You felt the fabric of your bomber jacket saturate Camila's tears, absorbing them at the source. You ran your fingers through her hair, seeing as though that calms her down when she's crying uncontrollably.
"Are... are you really done with me?" Camila choked out.
You thought about it for a moment, am I? "I don't know, Camila."
"Please, stop calling me that—" She paused herself, shaking her head above your chest. "Y/N, I don't want to lose you. Not in this way."
"Then, somehow or in some way, prove it to me. I'm not asking for the world or any materialistic item. All I ask is you reveal your heart to me without hesitation, that's how I'll actually know you're in love with me just as much as I'm in love with you." You said.
Camila lifted her head off your chest before cupping her cheeks. Her eyes met yours for the first time this evening, however, her gaze roamed every inch of your face to examine your expression. She noticed the tiniest of details — your cheeks were exposed to the moonlight shining its glory on them, revealing the slightly pink effect after pouring your heart out to Camila only moments ago, your eyebrows were scrunched together as you felt tense, your lips were pressed together until they discolored its pretty (Y/Lip/Color) to white.
"I will, Hermosa, but promise me one thing." She requested.
You nodded your head, suggesting her to continue.
"Promise to pay attention and listen, I only allow the people I love to enter my heart when they do exactly that."
//
A/N: Hello! How'd did you like the start of this mini-series? Please comment, I would love to hear your thoughts.
What was your favorite part, perhaps? What do you think will happen next?
Also... Enjoy this photo of Camila because I'm super happy today!