I'm jealous of the rain that falls upon your skin / it's closer than my hands have been / Oh, I'm jealous of the rain / I'm jealous of the wind that ripples through your clothes / it's closer than your shadow/ Oh, I'm jealous of the wind
"Soonyoungie-hyung, please," Dino panted, bending to rest his hands on his knees. Sweat was literally dripping off of his face. He glanced around: Jeonghan was flat on his back, practically heaving. Jun was sweating through his shirt. Other members were panting.
"Yeah," Seungkwan said, in the same position as Dino. "Can't we get a break? We've been practicing nonstop for three hours."
Hoshi glanced at them, his eyes dark and his hair matted down on his forehead due to the sweat. "Do you want to get better or not?" he snapped. "You still look sloppy. We'll go until we get it perfect. Let's run it again."
There was a collective silence in the room as everyone rose from their sweat puddles and got in formation to run the routine again. Everyone was absolutely exhausted. Hoshi had been hosting an intense practice and refused to let the members take a break. They wanted to call it a night but, quite frankly, he was scary when he was mad.
"Soonyoung," Seungcheol stepped in. "We're ending it for the night. We're going home. Pack up, let's go."
Hoshi rolled his eyes. "You guys go, I'll stay. I actually want to make myself better."
Seungcheol sighed. "It's nearly two in the morning."
"I don't care."
"Stop being so stubborn and let's go home. You've worked hard enough." When Hoshi didn't show any signs of movement, Seungcheol walked up and grabbed his arm. "You're gonna work yourself to death, Soonyoung. It's okay to take a break, let's go!"
Hoshi pulled his arm away from his hyung and grumpily grabbed his bag.
Seungcheol followed him, eyeing him intently. "Does this have anything to do with Madison?"
"What? The fact that it's annoying she isn't here to learn her new part in the choreography? Yeah, a little bit."
"Or..." he continued. "Is it annoying that she's out with Minhyuk?"
Hoshi scoffed. "Who cares about him?"
"Uh, I think you do."
He shook his head, glancing back at his hyung with a half smile on his face. "I don't."
"Soonyoung, what happened to us?"
The members took that as their cue to leave them alone. As they all filed out of the room, Hoshi and Seungcheol stared at each other.
"What do you mean?" Hoshi finally asked.
Seungcheol walked closer. "We used to tell each other everything. Don't you trust me anymore?"
Hoshi's demeanor softened immediately. "Of course I trust you. I—I'm sorry, hyung."
"You miss her, don't you?"
Hoshi sighed. "Yeah, I do."
I'm jealous of the nights that I don't spend with you / I'm wondering who you lay next to / Oh, I'm jealous of the night / I'm jealous of the love, the love was in here / Gone for someone else to share / Oh, I'm jealous of the love
"Hey, Soonie," Madison greeted quietly as she walked into the dorm. "You're up late."
It was about one in the morning and she had just gotten back from a night out with Minhyuk.
He made a face, staring at the glowing TV in front of him. "So are you."
She smiled softly, setting her bag down on the counter. "I know. Minnie invited—"
"Minnie?"
"That's his nickname, isn't it cute?" She didn't notice him roll his eyes. "Anyway, he invited me out with him and Sungjae oppa to see a musical, then we went walking by the Han River and lost track of time."
"You've been losing track of time a lot lately, huh?"
She furrowed her eyebrows at him, approaching his spot on the couch. "I guess? Is that...a bad thing?"
Right as she sat down, he stood up. "No, of course not. Do what you wanna do."
She watched as he headed towards his bedroom. "Soonie," she called. "Are you mad at me or something?"
"No, just tired," he said, not even glancing at her as he kept walking.
"Oh, alright then...goodnight."
She didn't get a response this time.
I wished you the best of all this world could give / And I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive / But I always thought you'd come back and tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery / It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me
He regretted being so mean to her. He apologized indirectly by buying her iced coffee the next morning.
He was just tired.
Seeing her with him all the time and hearing about everything drove him insane. Truthfully, he didn't expect it to last this long with Minhyuk. But here they were, almost at their two year anniversary.
And boy, what a long two years it had been.
For her, it was full of happiness and laughter and love and excitement.
He adored seeing her like this.
But for him, it was basically torture.
He wanted nothing more than to hold her, cuddle her, comfort her, be there for her. Two years ago, he did do all of that.
But now she's got Minnie...and she doesn't need him anymore.
I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me
-
i...i broke my own heart