Clay heard his dad calling him from the hallway and closed his laptop. Adam was serious if he was actually yelling for Clay instead of just texting. They were supposed to be leaving for their family trip but Clay was taking his time because he really didn't want to go.
"Clay? I've been calling you for 20 minutes now," Adam opened his door after what barely counted as a knock.
"Sorry, just don't want to spend my birthday on a family ski trip," Clay shrugged and zipped his bag. "We can go now. If we have to."
"We have to," Adam narrowed his eyes. "You know Chloe will be there the whole time, right?"
"So? It's not like we can have sex with everyone around."
"Guess you're just not that creative then."
"Whatever, Dad. We'd better be stopping at Starbucks on the way."
"Keep this up and all you'll get is is a regular drip coffee."
"That's barbaric," Clay shuddered.
"It's more humane than making you go without," Adam grinned. He thought was so clever with his dad jokes but Clay wanted to hit him.
As usual, his parents had gotten together with Chloe's parents and thought up this whole brilliant idea to take a big ski trip, all 12 of them. They thought it was such a great plan and that they'd have so much fun but Clay knew better. Twice the parents meant everyone paid way more attention to what he and Chloe were doing. Plus Chloe's family was loud and never left them alone. Everyone would want them to do stuff and Clay would rather stay home and nap or mess around on the computer.
A nap sounded like a good idea. If only he could spend most of the trip napping he might survive. It was his new favorite hobby and maybe the one thing he was any good at that didn't involve a computer.
Clay downed his latte and passed out while he watched Bryce take hundreds of pictures of their coffee cups, trying to get the best shot. His brother cared more than enough about everything in life for both of them. It was annoying but Clay didn't have the energy to be bothered by it anymore.
Sleeping in the car was by far the best way to pass time. He slept until they stopped for lunch and went back to sleep again after that. Clay didn't wake up until they pulled into the driveway of the house they'd rented for the week. Even Clay had to admit it was gorgeous.
"How did they beat us here? They have 3 times as many kids to organize," Eli groaned. "It's not fair."
"They probably didn't have to drag one of them to the car," Adam mumbled but Clay heard him. He reached forward to shove the back of Adam's head but Eli caught his hand.
"Don't start our trip this way," Eli warned. "You're only going to ruin it for yourself."
"He started it," Clay pointed out but pulled his hand away from Eli and got out of the car. Chloe was hovering and grabbed his hand as soon as he was out, dragging him toward a cluster of pine trees.
"Come on, Hannah promised to take pictures for us," Chloe demanded.
"Really? It's fucking freezing out here," Clay groaned. He knew better though. Chloe never missed a chance for pictures. Clay loved having them afterward, but he got tired after two pictures and it usually took hundreds to get a few goods ones.
"Well why are you in a t-shirt, dumdum? Put on your snow stuff."
"Fine, but I'm not smiling."
The trip turned out to be exactly what Clay expected. They had fun when they were on the mountains snowboarding and tubing at night. Even dinner was fun, in a way, but the nights were so boring. They had to watch old movies and most of the time the little kids wouldn't leave them alone long enough to watch the movies Clay really wanted to watch. Their parents were no help either.
"You're in the rec room, it's a common area of the house," Brent shrugged when Chloe complained. "If you need privacy, you should be in the bathroom alone."
"We just want to watch a movie, it's not private, but they won't leave us alone."
"Pick a movie they can watch then."
"Daaaaaad."
"Your siblings love you, they just want to spend time with you. It won't kill you to give them a little of your attention."
"This trip is the worst," Chloe stormed off.
Clay followed her back up the stairs to the big rec room with the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the mountains. There was a huge stone fireplace at one end and a massive TV at the other end with big furry rugs everywhere. All 6 of their siblings were hanging out there, taking up the space. Meanwhile the parents were in the second best part of the house - the outdoor hot tub. The only other place to go would be someone's bedroom, which didn't work because they were all sharing rooms, or to the main living room which also had floor to ceiling windows that looked out on the deck with the hot tub, where their parents would be able to see everything they were doing.
Every time he got a chance, Clay let his parents know how miserable it was having to share all the space with so many people. They didn't seem to care much, but he felt like they needed to know so they wouldn't get any ideas about trying to do another big family trip. He and Chloe barely managed to have sex that week.
Finally, the last night of their vacation, Brent and Adam took everyone tubing and left Clay, Chloe and Hannah home with Dax and Eli. It wasn't exactly what Clay hoped, but when Chloe acted like it was the best gift ever he tried to put on a happy face.
They settled in to watch movies, just the three of them. It felt more awkward than usual since Clay couldn't remember a time he and Chloe had ever hung out alone with Hannah. Normally there were other people around so Clay didn't have to think so hard about being a good boyfriend. That night, he kept catching himself looking at Hannah, watching Hannah and wondering what Hannah was thinking.
"Be right back," Chloe got up partway through the third movie. Clay tried not to panic. She was probably just going to the bathroom and he didn't want to be weird. But being alone with Hannah made it hard to breathe.
"She's been gone a long time. Were you supposed to follow her?" Hannah asked after what felt like a century.
"I dunno, I thought it was always the girls who went to the bathroom together," Clay reasoned. Was he supposed to go with Chloe? How would he have known? He started to get up but Chloe came back.
"I got us some treats," Chloe shut the door and sat down with her back against it. Clay glanced at Hannah to see if she was going to be upset with Chloe for shutting the door but she acted like she didn't care.
"Is it alcohol?" Hannah raised her eyebrows.
"Yes, and," Chloe pulled a joint out of her pocket. "You still want to do this?"
"Mhmm," Hannah nodded but she didn't look very sure.
"Uh, what are we doing?" Clay felt his mouth get a little bit dry. Drinking and smoking a little pot sounded better than watching a movie they'd already seen but he wasn't sure why Hannah was suddenly okay with those things. Normally she was the one telling them not to do them.
"Trying not to be bored out of our fucking minds," Chloe pulled a water bottle out of her bag. "It's tequila."
"Great," Clay tried not to keep looking at Hannah as Chloe poured a little in each of their drinks but it was hard to stop himself.
"Cheers," Hannah shrugged and took a sip. She made a face. "That's not what I expected that to taste like."
"I know, drink fast," Chloe suggested.
Clay wasn't sure when he crossed the line between a little buzzed to being drunk but he could tell when Chloe was done. She went from being fun to being super clingy. Normally it wouldn't have bothered Clay but that night he was afraid they would get caught. He'd heard the rest of the family get home but so far no one had come to check on them which had to mean someone would walk in at any second.
"Maybe you should go to bed," he suggested.
"You can come with me, no one will know," Chloe insisted.
"It's my room too," Hannah pointed out.
"Can't you just go sleep with Emma?"
"No, you go sleep with Emma," Hannah rolled her eyes. She was apparently a sassy drunk. Clay liked this side of Hannah.
"Mmm, no," Chloe put her head on Clay's shoulder. "Carry me."
"I wish," Clay was just drunk enough to be honest. Normally he'd never admit he wasn't that strong, not out loud.
"Fine. I love you," Chloe kissed him. "Let's take one more shot."
"One more," Clay agreed. He poured the last of the tequila into each of their cups. It was probably not enough to count as a shot but he didn't care and figured no one else could tell.
Chloe didn't make it to her bed before she passed out. She curled up on the couch and fell asleep. Clay covered her with a blanket and Hannah tucked one of the couch pillows under her head.
"We should go downstairs so we don't wake her," Hannah whispered. Clay nodded and followed her down the stairs.
The rest of the house was quiet, like everyone else was asleep already. Clay thought about going into his room but Hannah motioned for him to follow her. She sat on her bed and gestured for Clay to sit there too.
"Tonight is kind of weird," Clay admitted.
"I know," Hannah took a deep breath. "I just wondered what it was like, you know?"
"I get that," Clay nodded and looked around. It was obvious which side of the room was Hannah's and which side was Chloe's.
"Do you ever wish you could be someone else for a day? Just to see what it's like?"
"All the time," Clay sighed. "Or at least I wish I could fast forward and see what happens next."
"Yes, exactly," Hannah nodded. She scooted a little closer. "I hate wondering what I'm missing."
"You're not missing anything," Clay wished he could tell Hannah how perfect he thought she was. He knew it was the only chance he'd ever have. They'd never been alone like this before, definitely never in a bedroom.
When he thought about it later, Clay wondered how it was that he didn't see it coming. But in that moment, he was too busy thinking about how much he loved Hannah and all the things he wished he could say. She had this sad look in her eyes and her cheeks were all pink from drinking. Clay leaned forward, realizing he'd never seen Hannah in a shirt that was quite so low in the front and maybe he'd be able to see down it.
He never found out. Before he could peek, Hannah kissed him. It took a few seconds for him to realize what was happening. For so long it was just an idea, a dream he'd never get to live out. But when he decided he wasn't dreaming, Clay kissed back.
Kissing Hannah was everything Clay expected. Her lips were soft and she was gentle but steady. Clay felt a little buzz between them the longer they kissed. He knew he was drunk but he didn't care, especially when he felt Hannah's hands under his shirt.
"You're so beautiful," Clay couldn't hold it in any longer. He watched her cheeks get a little more pink and kissed her again. Feeling brave, this time he slipped his tongue between her lips. She opened for him and made a soft moaning sound.
Clay could have kissed her all night. He would have been happy to sit there kissing her for the rest of his life even. But Hannah pulled him closer, pulling him on top of her. To his shock, she took one of his hands and put it on her chest.
"Please," she whispered. "Close your eyes if you have to."
"No, I want to see you," Clay protested.
For some reason, that made Hannah kiss him harder. He so wished he hadn't had so much to drink or maybe that he'd skipped smoking too. His head was just hazy enough that he was afraid he wouldn't remember every detail and he wanted to, more than anything.
No, more than anything he wanted to keep kissing Hannah. Touching her. Loving her. Clay did close his eyes for a second, hoping he could make her feel anywhere near as good as he wanted. He couldn't find the words to say to her so he prayed his actions would say enough.
She seemed to want more and more. Before long they were pulling off their clothes and then suddenly they were both naked. Hannah kissed him hard and looked him in the eyes.
"Please, Clay?" she whispered, spreading her legs just the tiniest bit.
"Anything for you," Clay nodded.
It was quiet, just like he'd always imagined. Hannah kept covering her mouth with her hand, muffling any little sounds she made. The only other sounds were their heavy breathing and, to Clay's delight, the slick noises coming from under his fingers as he worked on making sure she was wet enough for him.
He could taste tequila in every kiss but he didn't care. When he finally sank into her, Clay let his eyelids flutter closed. She felt incredible, better than he'd dreamed. So did opening his eyes to see her flushed skin and watch as she came, her body shaking under him. The sight ended everything for Clay. He came hard, eyes closing.
"Oh my god, Chloe," he moaned. "I love you so much."
Clay collapsed, kissing any part of her skin he could reach. After a few seconds, he had to pull out and rolled onto his back to catch his breath.
"Thank you," Hannah whispered, her voice sounding a little far away.
"Of course," Clay's eyes refused to stay open. "I'm sorry, I'm about to pass out."
"You have to go to your own bed," Hannah nudged him. "You can't sleep here."
"Oh, right," Clay remembered. He groaned and sat up. "I hate to leave you though."
"It's okay, I don't want to get caught."
"Okay. I would totally lie for us though."
"No, really, you should go," Hannah handed him his sweatpants. Clay leaned in to kiss her one last time.
"I'm sorry I can't stay."
"I know. It's alright. Just go to sleep."
"You too," Clay nodded, tugging on his sweatpants. He picked up his shirt and boxers, deciding no one would see him between Hannah's room and his.
"Clay?" Hannah cleared her throat as he was about to walk out the door. "I promise not to tell Chloe."
"Right, yeah. Me too," Clay wished she'd just kicked him in the nuts. It would have hurt a lot less.
-----------------------------
"Um, Papa?" Bryce cringed when he heard how young his voice sounded. Still. He hoped every day he would wake up and finally sound his age, but no. Still waiting.
"Hey, Bry," Eli looked up from his laptop and smiled. Thankfully his parents had stopped calling him Bun, short for Bunny, the humiliating nickname he'd gotten as a child when he'd gone as, yes, a bunny, for Halloween 4 years in a row. He'd have done it 5 years but his awful second grade year they couldn't find a costume the right size and that was the year Clay started making fun of him for his nickname. Bryce couldn't wait for everyone to forget.
"Can we, um," Bryce looked out the office door to make sure they were alone. Clay and Adam were working out so Bryce hoped they would have time. "It's just that I'm really worried about Clay."
"You can shut the door, I'm not busy," Eli insisted. He closed his laptop and everything. "What bothers you the most?"
"Well, it's probably stupid, but we had this talk at school and I think, um," Bryce wished he'd brought the handout to show his father or could remember any of the stupid websites they'd talked about. "He's so sad and always says stuff like he's worthless or stupid. And he never wants to do anything anymore, like of stuff he used to like?"
"I know," Eli sighed. "It's not stupid, Bryce. I've wondered if he's a little depressed too."
"You have?" Bryce felt better and worse at once. Better that Lamar was right but worse because he didn't think Clay was just a little depressed.
"Yeah. Both your Uncle Dax and I have struggled with depression so I know what it looks like. Your Dad and I have talked to Clay's doctor too. Especially since he's been so upset ever since the ski trip."
"Really?"
"Really what?" Eli smiled. "We really did talk to the doctor, yes. He thinks a lot of what Clay's going through is normal hormonal stuff but he told us what to look for."
"So the doctor doesn't care?" Bryce frowned.
"Of course he does, but unless Clay says something about feeling depressed or wanting to get help, there's nothing we can do. He's the only one who really knows what he's feeling," Eli sighed.
"But what about, um," Bryce paused, not sure if he should say anything to his dad about Clay smoking pot.
"If you mean the pot I know about it and that's actually pretty normal, I hate to say. I'm sorry it's bothering you though. We've talked to him about keeping it away from you and why we want him to stop. Because we do, you know that right? Just because it's normal doesn't mean it's okay."
"Yeah."
"We're doing our best, Bry. Promise."
"Thanks Pa," Bryce took a deep breath.
"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
"Um, I dunno," Bryce shrugged. He thought for a second about Abbie but he didn't know what he would say.
"How's your youth group going?"
"Good. We're going to a movie tomorrow."
"Are you excited?"
"Yeah," Bryce looked around. He really didn't have anything else to say. "Okay, well, thanks for talking."
"Anytime," Eli smiled. "I love you."
"Love you too," Bryce opened the door and peeked out. The hall was empty.
Bryce hurried to get away from Eli's office before anyone saw him. Adam seeing him was one thing but having Clay catch him was another. Of course Clay did catch him, giving Bryce a shove for no reason as he walked past on his way to the kitchen. Bryce fell against the island but stood up as fast as he could. The blow knocked the wind out of him.
"Clay, how many times do I have to tell you to keep your hands off your brother?" Adam saw the whole thing.
"I barely touched him," Clay shrugged, opening the fridge.
"I'm fine," Bryce wheezed. "I just tripped."
"Liar," Clay called him out immediately.
"I really am okay though," Bryce looked at Adam, trying to catch his breath.
"Clay, apologize. Then go start your homework," Adam just shook his head.
"Sorry, Princess Bryce," Clay sighed and shut the fridge.
"Um," Bryce looked at Adam again. Was he supposed to say thank you to that?
"We'll talk later," Adam warned Clay. Clay rolled his eyes and left the room. Adam took a deep breath and watched him leave before turning back to Bryce. "Are you really alright?"
"I just wish I were bigger so he couldn't knock me around," Bryce admitted. "I thought I was gonna be big, like my dad."
"It takes a lot longer than you want, I'm afraid," Adam smiled. "You'll have to work for it too, Cole sure did."
"Just like you. Lunges and laundry," Bryce made a face.
"Mm, maybe you can do squats and surgery."
"Squats and surgery," Bryce had to laugh. "New username."
"Totally. Where's your homework?"
"Uh, mostly done. I forgot to ask Pops about the math."
"I'm right here," Eli walked in. "About to start dinner, but Dad and I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Okay," Bryce knew they weren't mad at him because of the way Eli looked at Adam. It wasn't really like a look of love, it was more than that.
"We've decided to tell Clay he can start driving lessons on one condition," Eli paused. "If it's okay with you, we're going to tell him he has to treat you better for at least two weeks."
"Only?" Bryce snorted.
"I know, he should do it all the time, but we have to start somewhere," Eli sighed. "So you have to tell us if he does anything when we're not looking."
"He already hates me enough, I don't want to make it worse."
"He doesn't hate you," Adam insisted. "But if you don't want us to do it, we won't."
"Yeah, leave me out of it," Bryce shook his head. "I'm going to get my homework."
He went upstairs to get his math. Bryce had only been in his room a few seconds when he heard the door close behind him. He spun around and saw Clay. His heart beat a little faster.
"Are you afraid of me?" Clay raised his eyebrows.
"N-no," Bryce wished he sounded stronger. "Maybe sometimes."
"I heard them. I don't hate you."
"Okay. I, um, I'm glad," Bryce took a slow, deep breath.
"I messed up, Bryce. Really bad. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
"What do you mean?"
"I made a mistake and I don't think I can fix it," Clay sat on Bryce's bed. "You always know what to do, tell me what to do."
"Um, but I don't know what it is," Bryce pointed out. "You probably just have to apologize."
"This is way bigger than that. Chloe's never going to talk to me again," Clay buried his head in his hands.
"Why? What did you do?" Bryce couldn't imagine Chloe being that upset at Clay. She barely left him alone even when she was mad. What could be so awful that she'd never speak to him again? "Did you cheat on her?"
"I didn't mean to," Clay insisted.
"Oh my gosh," Bryce tried to think through any girls he'd seen Clay with lately but couldn't think of a single person. "Why? How?"
"I don't know, it just happened. I never meant to do it."
"But you love her."
"I know, I'm the worst person on the planet."
"No, just...wow," Bryce felt a little sick. "Does she know?"
"No, I don't want to tell her. I don't want to lose her," Clay's voice shook and then he let out a sob. Bryce waited a second but when Clay kept crying he went to hug him.
It was the first time in months Clay had hugged Bryce. The only time they had contact anymore was when Clay was pushing or hitting him. Bryce hated that thought almost as much as he hated thinking that Clay could cheat on Chloe. What had happened to his brother? Was he depressed or was it something more than that?
"I think you have to tell her," Bryce whispered. "You have to tell her you're sorry."
"She'll hate me."
"I don't know, I don't know if Chloe could ever hate you."
"God, I hope not."
Clay sat there crying for a while longer, saying the same few things over and over. Bryce ran out of things to say to him. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do but he stayed where he was, hugging Clay until Clay wouldn't let him anymore.
It felt like hours had passed when Clay sat up, wiping his face. He glared at Bryce and Bryce scrambled to his feet, trying to get out of Clay's reach before he got hurt again.
"I'm not going to hit you. Just don't ever tell anyone about this," Clay rolled his eyes.
"I would never," Bryce insisted. He had a million questions he still wanted to ask but he was afraid to ask them. The biggest one was how? How could Clay cheat on Chloe?
"I know that. You're a good listener, by the way," Clay wiped his face again. He looked at Bryce's phone. "Fuck, dinner's ready. That's text #3."
"Oh no," Bryce rushed to the door. He wanted to make it down before one of his parents had to come upstairs but Adam was already at the bottom of the staircase. "Coming, I'm so sorry."
"You're not in trouble, but your brother will be if he doesn't-" Adam stopped on the stairs. Bryce didn't have to look to know that Clay was right behind him and Adam must have seen him come out of Bryce's room. "Uh, what's happening?"
"Chill, Dad. I was helping Bryce with his math," Clay brushed past Bryce. Adam looked at Bryce, making it obvious he didn't believe Clay. "What? You think I can't do it?"
"I didn't say that," Adam followed them downstairs. "What did you teach him?"
"Sometimes when you add, it takes something away."
Bryce felt the weight of those words more than he expected. Clay went into the kitchen but Adam looked at Bryce again, as if asking for an explanation. His dad looked so confused and Bryce wanted to just tell the truth. Why didn't people understand the truth was so much easier? He sighed.
"Bryce?" Adam prompted.
"Negative numbers. If you add a negative number to a bigger positive number it's the same as subtracting," Bryce explained. Negative plus positive. Clay was definitely the negative number in the equation, so who was the positive one?
----------
Clay stared at his dark circles in the mirror, wondering how much worse he was going to look if he didn't get a good night's sleep soon. He couldn't remember what it was like to just get in bed and go to sleep. Every night since the ski trip he'd tossed and turned, sleeping for short stretches and laying awake most of the night. The day only got worse from there.
He choked down some dry cereal and stumbled to the car. Adam made him drive, which Clay knew he should be happy about, but his thoughts behind the wheel scared him. Every turn or exit ramp, his brain pointed out a little slip of the wheel could end everything. He felt like he had to hold on as tight as he could to keep from plowing his dad and brother into a guardrail or off the side of an overpass.
If that wasn't exhausting enough, then Clay had to face the whole day at school. The moment when Chloe came to greet him seeming so happy to be around him. She didn't have a clue and he tried as hard as he could to keep it that way. Every now and then he saw Hannah in the hall and wanted to throw up. He remembered every moment. Part of him wanted more. The other part wanted to forget it ever happened.
That morning, Chloe picked up her foot and raised it high enough to rest on Clay's shoulder as they were talking with their friends. It was her new favorite trick. Their friends were used to it but it always made Clay twitchy and usually ended with a teacher threatening to write her up. Of course that day was no different.
"Dude, your girlfriend," Clay's friend AJ followed him to their next class.
"I know," Clay didn't want to hear it.
"You lucky fuck," AJ shook his head. "Between her tits and her ass the flexibility is-"
"Shut your fucking mouth," Clay lost it. "Don't talk about her that way."
"Psh, she can't see anyone but you," AJ didn't get it. "Calm down. And teach me your ways."
"I don't have ways," Clay sighed. At least not anything he'd ever want anyone else to try.
"Whatever, I know you've got some trick."
Clay ignored AJ until he changed the subject. He couldn't think about how much Chloe loved and trusted him without going crazy. Because she did, AJ was right about that. Chloe acted like he was everything and that was why he hated himself for what he'd done.
It was another long day. Clay dragged himself through classes, sure he wasn't learning a thing. He didn't even bother to watch the clock. No amount of time could make things right.
He escaped to his room, diving into the code for an update to Bryce's flash card app. The new iOS was out so he wanted to try upgrading the app but it was harder than he hoped. The only good thing was that he could lose himself in his work that way and shut everything else out.
That was until he smelled the acrid cigarette smoke that told him Chloe was in the room. It meant he'd been working for hours and she was already home from ballet. It also meant he had to tell her what he'd done.
"I can smell the smoke on you," he cleared his throat.
"Shh," Chloe pulled his headphones out and kissed his neck. "Take a break?"
"Now is not a good time," he shook his head, recognizing the tone of her voice. He wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to himself.
She ignored him, slipping onto his lap between him and his computer. That was all he ever needed to forget about whatever he'd been doing when she walked in.
"Now is a perfect time," Chloe insisted. She took her shirt off even though he could see her black and white striped bra with its neon lace through the shirt.
"God, Chloe," he moaned. She already had him hard.
"Take these fingers," she reached for the hand he usually kept on the touchpad. "And put them somewhere more useful," she told him, sucking one finger into her mouth and he moaned again. He was so powerless around her that it was maddening.
"You're going to kill me one of these days," he told her. She grinned. "Come on," he grabbed her thighs and stood up, carrying her to the bed. He was so proud the day he'd learned he could do it that he never wanted to stop.
"Yessss," Chloe smiled as he tugged his shirt off. She took her panties off, leaving her skirt on, and reached to unhook her bra.
"Can you ever just be patient enough to let me do that?" he'd wanted to go slow, seeing as how there was good chance he'd never get to do it again. Not once he told her what he'd done.
"Will you ever move fast enough I don't have to be patient with you?" Chloe shot back.
"I'm lucky to keep up sometimes," he shook his head. "Fuck, Chloe, you're so gorgeous."
"You're pretty beautiful too. I love you."
"I love you too," he pulled his pants off, his erection popping free.
"Oh my god, get in me," Chloe moaned.
"Patience," he grinned, in spite of the situation. It was hard not to when she wanted him so bad.
"Fuck that," Chloe lifted her legs so her pussy staring him in the face.
"Mm, yeah, I think I will," he laughed. "But first," he leaned in, licking right up the middle of her core.
"No no no," Chloe protested but he was already getting comfortable with his face between her legs. Her protests got weaker fast. "Okay, oh god, yes, okay."
Clay laughed but kept going. She could only rush him so much. He wasn't going to pass up the chance to do one of the only things he was good at a few more times before she never let him near her again.
"I think now you might be ready," he decided after she'd cum not once but twice. He wiped his mouth on the sheets. "Maybe."
"I swear if you don't fuck me now," Chloe panted, out of breath. She sounded so hot when she was desperate.
"You'll do it for me," he laughed, reaching for a condom. "I know how it works."
"I swear you do this just to piss me off," she shook her head as he reached for the lube.
"I do this because I know what I'm doing," his eyes locked onto hers and he leaned over her. "That's why you want this so bad," he said as he started teasing her with the head of his cock.
"Fuck, Clay," Chloe moaned when he pushed into her. "Oh fuck yes."
"Shh, don't get us caught," Clay tried to laugh but he was already out of breath from trying not to cum too fast.
"I'm about to not care," Chloe shook her head as he rocked his hips against hers. Her fingernails sunk into him.
"So hot, shit," he moaned. He pushed his hand over her mouth as she started cumming. "We're going to be in trouble, you know that."
"Can't help it."
"Oh my god, you just got so tight," Clay groaned. "You're going to make me-"
"Fuck!" Chloe shoved her face in his pillows as he came hard.
His vision blurred and he realized he was about to cry. It was over. He couldn't put it off any longer. He had to tell her.
"Chloe," Clay's voice shook as he pulled out of her. "I love you, you know that right?"
"I know," Chloe nodded, her eyes still closed. "Kiss me."
"Chloe," Clay waited but she didn't open her eyes. He kissed her, maybe for the last time.
"I love you too. Just hold me."
"You're destroying me, you know that?"
"You love it," Chloe insisted. He couldn't answer, knowing his voice would break if he did, and she finally opened her eyes. "Oh, fuck, what's wrong?"
"I do love it," Clay felt tears in his eyes. "Chloe, I love you so much, I'm so sorry."
"What?" Chloe frowned.
"I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt you, I just-"
"What the fuck did you do?" Chloe grabbed the sheets and covered herself up. The look on her face made him feel worse than ever.
"I'm so, so sorry," Clay didn't know what else to say.
"Answer me."
"I cheated on you."
Just like that Chloe was out of Clay's bed and out the door, barely dressed before she went running down the stairs.
"Wait, Chloe," Clay ran after her, trying to pull some shorts on. "Please, just listen to me."
"Everything okay?" Adam was right there but Chloe flew past him. Clay followed her out the front door but she didn't stop, barely even looking before she jumped in her car and drove off.
Clay screamed, not caring that his dad was watching. He knew it would be over the second he told her. Why had he told? It felt like the world was spinning out of control.
"Don't touch me," Clay insisted when he stomped back to the house. Adam stepped aside, putting an arm out in front of Bryce as if to shield him from Clay. "I'm not going to touch the princess. Don't worry."
"Bump off, Clay, don't call me that," Bryce huffed.
"It's pronounced fuck," Clay corrected him and went back to his room.
"Hey, what just happened?" Adam followed.
"Not now."
"Yes, or I call her parents and tell them she's upset and driving."
"It's over," Clay could barely get the words out before he dissolved into sobs. He didn't care what his dad thought, he threw himself into Adam's arms and cried.
-----------------------
Adam couldn't remember the last time he'd left the house for a workout but when Brent texted him, asking Adam to meet him at the gym, he figured it wouldn't hurt. That was before he realized to work out with Brent he'd have to get up so early. He was always up before Eli but that morning it felt extra rough to get up and leave their warm bed.
Brent was already working with his trainer when Adam got there. The session seemed to be wrapping up but Adam knew Brent would still have plenty he wanted to do before he went home again. He wasn't filming anything at the moment but knowing Brent he already had his eye on something.
"Hey!" Brent was always in a good mood when he was working out.
"Morning," Adam managed a weak smile.
"You look exhausted. Good night?" Brent grinned.
"You know us," Adam didn't make eye contact, happy to let Brent assume he and Eli spent the night having sex when really they'd been fighting about whether or not to buy Clay his own car.
"Mmm. I definitely got my favorite wake up this morning," Brent clearly didn't realize Adam hadn't answered the question. "It was hard to get out of bed after that."
"I would have been really happy if you'd cancelled."
"I thought about it, but I already had the appointment booked. Besides, I've missed you."
"You and I can hang out at a normal time of day too," Adam yawned. "What are we doing?"
"It's leg day," Brent gave Adam an evil grin.
"I thought we were friends," Adam groaned.
They took turns spotting each other while they lifted. Brent did most of the talking while Adam struggled to feel awake. It wasn't until partway through the workout that he really woke up and started to enjoy hanging out.
"How's Clay?" Brent asked as they moved over to the leg press.
"Oh gosh," Adam sighed. "A trainwreck. He won't eat, doesn't sleep, barely even looks at us. But on the upside, he's not beating up his brother all the time."
"Bonus. Chloe's the same way. I swear I was never this dramatic."
"Psh, you were too. I listened to the same 'I ruined my whole life' speech from you."
"True. Can we fast forward to the part where they get back together already? I'm so tired of the moping," Brent laughed.
"Seriously. As if anything could really be so wrong?" Adam sat down on the machine. "I hope they don't think we're going to skip family dinner with Dax's parents just because they're fighting."
"Yeah, no way. I'm not going to force them to talk to each other, but we're not canceling our plans," Brent agreed. "They can sit at opposite ends of the table. It'll be fine."
"Okay, good," Adam took a deep breath before starting his set.
"So, Jeff got an interesting call from a casting director," Brent lifted his thumb to his mouth to bite the cuticle.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I really want to read for this role."
"But?"
"But I'm not sure my marriage would survive it," Brent sighed. "I'm just tired of the same thing, Adam. I know I should stick to what I'm good at but even Jeff agreed I was starting to be typecast."
"Wait, why would Dax be upset?" Adam tried to follow Brent's logic but he knew he was missing the important details.
"The movie is, uh, really different from my usual stuff," Brent actually looked a little embarrassed.
"What is it?"
"Have you ever heard of the Crossfire book series?"
"No."
"Okay, so it's, um, kind of a romance series," Brent looked around before leaning in a little closer to Adam. "Like, smutty romance though."
"Oh wow. You would do that?" Adam couldn't picture it. "Who do they want to cast as your boyfriend?"
"Ah, well, uh, it would be girlfriend," Brent cleared his throat.
"Oh," Adam couldn't hide his shock.
"It's not that unbelievable. I could play a straight guy."
"Not even in your dreams."
"I could too! You've just known me too long. If you didn't know me, you'd have no idea I'm gay."
"Maybe," Adam actually didn't know but he still couldn't imagine Brent playing anything other than a gritty action hero.
"Anyway, that's why Dax would hate it. He always said he wanted me to stick to characters the kids could look up to. Gideon Cross is not a role model."
"You think your kids would watch you in this movie?"
"No, it's definitely rated R."
"So what's the problem?" Adam shrugged. "Other than having to explain why the kids can't see it. I mean, half of Dax's stuff isn't kid friendly."
"Yeah, he just won't see it that way. I'm gonna do the read through though, maybe they won't even want me," Brent sounded humble but Adam knew they both knew there was a really good chance Brent would be cast.
Adam lived through the workout and stopped on his way home to pick up breakfast and coffee for everyone. Eli was still in bed, half asleep, so Adam delivered his coffee right to him. That only earned him a fake smile so Adam sat down on Eli's side of the bed and slipped his hand under the covers.
"Adam," Eli warned.
"Eli," Adam smiled at him.
"We don't have time."
"Sure I do," Adam ducked his head under the covers and took Eli's cock in his mouth. It hardened with just a few pulls.
"Oh, yes," Eli moaned, putting his hand on Adam's head. "I will so be late for this."
Adam grinned but kept working. He knew there wouldn't be time to have his own turn and he didn't even care. It had been way too long since the last time he and Eli had sex and he wasn't going to pass up the chance.
"Go get em tiger," Adam teased as he wiped his mouth.
"Go? The only place I'm going is back to sleep now," Eli sighed. "I do not want to get up."
"You could stay and let me have my way with you."
"I'm getting up."
"Okay then," Adam stood. He knew they had to get the kids up but Eli didn't have to be quite so serious about it.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that," Eli followed Adam to the bathroom. "You know I want to, right?"
"Yeah," Adam forced himself to smile. "It's a school day."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Adam jacked off in the shower but left it feeling more frustrated than before. He missed sex, a lot, but there never seemed to be time. When he tried to schedule vacations alone with Eli they always had to cancel or reschedule because of work or something the kids were doing.
That morning was another fight from Clay about going to school. He didn't want to go and it was obvious he hadn't slept much. Adam wished he could shake Clay so he got over it, but he remembered all too well what it felt like to lie awake at night and wish for someone who didn't want you.
"See you later, Bryce," Adam got out to hug Bryce before he went into the school. Clay was getting out of the car but moving so slowly that Adam felt like he was stuck in slow-motion mode. "Clay, get back in the car."
"What?"
"Just get back in the car," Adam sighed. He pulled out his phone to call the school and tell them Clay would be late.
"You don't have to do that," Clay grumbled, but he got in the passenger seat and put on his seat belt.
"I just want to talk," Adam drove out of the parking lot. "I know you don't want me to say that I know what you're going through, but I did go through something like this a few times."
"Back when you were in love with Uncle Brent and he was in love with Dax, I know," Clay sighed. "It's so not the same at all."
"No, it's not. How did you know that?" Adam glanced at Clay.
"The internet never forgets," Clay gave him a disgusted look. "I learned how to disable your little 'we only blocked this because we love you' filters like ten years ago."
"Liar, we only put those up 8 years ago," Adam was sorry he'd made the joke when he saw Clay roll his eyes. Dax and Brent had an entire team of people who worked 24/7 to keep their personal data, including pictures and other files, safe. The team invented a safe search filter that would block all the kids from seeing too much information about their parents and things they'd done in the past. It did have a cheesy message about why they blocked the search results and certain websites, but it was set up with Brent and Dax's daughters in mind. When they'd decided to extend it to Adam and Eli's house, they hadn't changed those settings.
"Whatever. You don't know anything."
"I know you're hurting."
"I ruined my whole life."
"That's a little bit much," Adam kept himself from smiling. "I know it feels like that, but it's not true."
"Actually, it is. Chloe is everything to me, Dad, she's my soulmate," Clay started crying. "And I only know that because I cheated on her with Hannah."
"You...did?" Adam pulled over. He'd imagined they could go to the bagel shop for coffee and talk but this conversation clearly wasn't one they could have in public.
"Please, don't tell anyone. Not even Papa," Clay begged. "I don't want anyone to know."
"Does Chloe know?"
"Yes, Hannah told her," Clay sobbed. "Of course she told her, she always tells her everything. I should have known. I'm so stupid."
"Hey, no, you made a mistake," Adam put his hand on Clay's shoulder. "Your life isn't ruined, it's just not what you want it to be right now."
"Dad, Chloe was it for me. If I can't get her back, I have nothing."
"Is that really how you feel?"
"I know it. No matter what you or Bryce say, there's nothing else. No one else."
"You talked to Bryce about this?" Adam's heart melted a tiny bit. That explained why Clay wasn't beating up his brother all the time anymore. Kind of.
"He just listens really good."
"That's true," Adam agreed. "Would you want to talk to someone else? Like a counselor?"
"No. The only person I want to talk to is Chloe and she won't even look at me. I just want her back, Dad. If I never get anything else ever again, as long as I live, I just want Chloe."
"Okay," Adam had no idea what he was supposed to say or do but he took a deep breath and hoped he didn't mess up too bad. "Well, it might not work, but if you're really serious, let's see if we can figure out how to get her back."