Fanboy (boyxboy)

Latch

Adam lay in bed, staring at his phone. Every single picture on Cole's Instagram feed had a caption about how sad he was and how much he missed Adam. It broke his heart. Even the fans commenting on the pictures agreed that they missed seeing happy pictures of Cole and Adam together. Of course, they all assumed it was because Cole was on tour.

Without even thinking twice, Adam texted Eli to admit the pictures were getting to him. Eli wrote back immediately.

Eli: get off there!!!

Eli: looking will only make you crazy

Eli was right, of course, but it wasn't like Adam could just unfollow Cole. Except...he could. He could decide to give up pretending that everything was okay and just let the world know they were struggling. No one would blame him if he decided to quit. In fact, everyone expected their marriage to end. That was what happened when you married someone you barely knew, wasn't it?

That question kept haunting Adam. When was it time to give up? He'd been hiding at Dax and Brent's house for two weeks and didn't feel any closer to an answer. In fact, Adam had more questions than before. How many of their problems were his fault and how many were just because Cole was...Cole?

That was also the part where Adam felt weakest. He loved so many things about Cole, like how he didn't give a shit about what anyone thought of him, but Cole was that way because of his disease. It was easy to do whatever the fuck you wanted when you knew you wouldn't have any of it come back to bite you 10 years later.

Which always got Adam feeling guilty again, because who even knew how much longer Cole had? Would it really be so bad to stick it out until Cole died? Then they could prove everyone wrong about their marriage not lasting, Adam wouldn't be letting Cole down and he wouldn't have to keep feeling so heartbroken.

Adam got another text from Eli.

Eli: you can do this Adam you just have to be strong

Eli: remember why you started this whole thing

How was it that Eli knew exactly what he was thinking? Adam sighed. Eli was right again. The problem wasn't how much Adam loved Cole. The problem was that Cole didn't listen. He didn't care what anyone thought and that included his own husband. Just because Cole thought he was doing what Adam needed didn't make it okay.

That settled one decision. Adam went through and unfollowed every one of Cole's accounts. Maybe it would get people talking but it didn't matter. He could always point out that Cole's stuff was public so he didn't have to follow him to see what he was posting.

With that handled, Adam went outside to smoke a joint. It was a little creepy because he was usually going to bed right around the time Hannah woke up for 3am bottle and Adam could watch through the window as Dax or Brent made the bottle and fed her. He loved knowing that there were people in the world who could give kids such amazing lives. Not that he knew anything about Hannah's birth mom or why she gave her up but he did know that Hannah's life would be as close to perfect as anyone's could get.

After just two weeks of watching his best friends be dads, Adam decided he wanted that too. He'd always known he wanted to do something big to help kids in need but seeing how much it took to care for a baby made him realize adoption was big enough in its own way. As much as Adam loved Cole, they could never adopt children together.

It was Brent's turn that night and, almost as soon as Adam was in the chair, he saw Brent carrying Hannah into the kitchen. Even half asleep, Brent was obviously head over heels in love with the little girl. Adam couldn't blame him a bit. He loved Hannah too, which was weird because she wasn't even his baby, but Adam couldn't help it.