A/N. I'm sorry that I am no longer the best writer and have the time to whip out imagines for you. That this has become something that you can't count on.
It's kind of like pinky promises.
Sorry that I have been kind of breaking ours.
"Shawn. How do I know if we will be married forever if I am supposed to eat this ring?" I asked. We were sitting criss cross on top of the monkey bars. Most of the kids were gone, either riding the bus home or their parents picked them up already.
Shawn's parents worked until 4. And Shawn was my ride home. So we had an after school club. It was very exclusive. Only we were allowed in. Josh tried getting in last Thursday. He even tried to threaten us. Luckily Shawn became the usher for us and threw wood chips at him.
He just proposed to me. On this sunny Tuesday. With a cherry ring pop.
He is a classy gentlemen. Most do theirs with those pretzel circles things. But Shawn got me a ring pop. On top of that, it was my favorite color.
But how would I live without eating it?
"Easy. Pinky promise," Shawn said. I looked at him.
"Okay!" We then intertwined our fingers.
"Together. Forever. I promise. I won't leave your side. I'll always be here to protect you." He smiled. I blushed.
He was my guardian angel.
Then the promise was broke.
It was a rainy Tuesday when Shawn showed up at my door.
I slammed it in his face. Then turned to walk back to my room, when I realized he knew where the key was. And broke in.
"I don't want to ever speak to you again Shawn," I said, not facing him as he closed my front door.
"Y/N. Look I know we have parted ways-"
I exploded.
"Excuse me!" I turned to face him. "We? You mean you completely ghosted me!"
"Okay. I get that it seems that way."
"It is that way Shawn. You left me."
"Are you okay? After what happened?"
All I can imagine is his younger faces.
All the times he asked if I was okay.
He would pull me into a hug. And he stroke my back lightly. I don't know why but that comforted me.
"Why do you care we haven't talked in like a year?" I sneered. Since March 24 last year to be exact.
"I just. I just heard and wanted to make sure everyone was okay," Shawn said quietly.
"I don't have time for this Shawn. You can leave now."
"Well I have no way to get home anyways. My car is in the shop and i can't walk anymore since it's thundering like hell out there."
I looked at him.
"You really want me to walk like 5 miles in a huge thunderstorm," Shawn exclaimed.
"Kinda yeah."
"We'll I am not getting struck by lightning so no. I'm staying here."
"You aren't welcome here Shawn."
"Sure I am."
"No you are not."
"Your parents love me."
"Parent. Yano since I only have one now. The other one decided to pack up and move to England and talk to us once in a whole year. But I guess you wouldn't really know much since you decided to ditch me when that happened."
"It was not during that Y/N."
"Really it was sure was close Shawn. Look. I am going to take a nap because I am exhausted. You better be gone before I come back down stairs or I am calling the police," I threatened with a tired tone and dragged myself up the stairs. I was too tired to be dealing with the bullshit that showed up on my doorstep today. I softly shut the door and fell into my blankets. The warmth welcomed me as I cuddled into my bed sheets.
I was awaken by the sound of knocking on my door.
"Y/N. Y/N. Gotta wake up. The power is out," Shawn called out.
When I looked around, I realized that he was right. Darkness surrounded me except for the faint light through the curtains. I groaned, hoping out of bed and opening my door with a force.
"Why don't you go home?" I asked.
"Because the power is out. That means the storm must be worse than it sounds. Who knows, a tornado could happen and if I was outside, I would die!" Shawn exclaimed. I rolled my eyes slightly.
"You are overdramatic. I have some candles in the nightstand drawer by the couch. Pull them out and start lighting them," I sighed. After we lit the dim candles around the living room, we sat in silence. It surrounded us, cornered us. Neither of us could come up with anything to kill it.
I messed with my fingers, not making much eye contact, and when I did it, it was only a split second before my eyes would dart away. The thunder rolled throughout the house, shaking the candles. He would nervously chuckle. I would just purse my lips.
“Do you ever think about what would’ve happened if those few months didn’t occur?” He ended up asking. I didn’t look at him for a solid minute, but when I did, he was already staring at me. Not in a creepy or harsh way, but simply sympathetic.
“Why would I? I can’t change what happened. I can’t change what my mother did or what you did. Why would I sit here wondering or wishing that people who didn’t want to be part of my life would’ve stuck it out? You both obviously didn’t want to stay.”
He frowned, more out of guilt than pity, which was the outcome I secretly wanted.
“I am sorry.” That is all he had to say. Maybe because that is all he could make his lips project. The only words that he could find in his mind.
“What is the point of being sorry now. I am here still, alive, and without the help of you or her.”
Part of me wanted to feel bad for scolding so much at him, but the multiple nights I spent crying into my pillow and silently begging for him to come back was too vibrant in my head to make me feel empathy for him.
“You do know I didn’t want to hurt you right? I told you that,” Shawn said in a plea.
“Words speak a hell of a lot louder than words Shawn,” I muttered. My lungs felt closed off. It became tougher to keep my poker face, to say my words without cracking.
“Y/N.”
“You know what? I don’t care if it is pouring, if the lightning is so frequent that it constantly lights the road, if hell, there is a tornado. I am not asking anymore, you are not allowed in this house. You are not allowed in my life whenever it is convenient for you Shawn!” I yelled, but I had no emotion on my face. My mind was screaming too loud. Flashbacks were raiding my eyes like soldiers on a battlefield. I started to feel dizzy.
He stood up, and slowly backed to the door.
He walked out of the door.
As soon as I heard it close, I couldn’t hold in the tears anymore. I broke down. My vision was blurred. My hands were shaking so bad, they were shaking my arms when I held myself.
I didn’t even hear him walk back in.
“You always waited until you were alone to cry.”
When he came to hug me, I started to thrash my arms. Screaming, crying, anything to get him away from me. He didn’t budge. He just kept a strict grip on my body, whispering things I couldn’t form into audible words in my ears, but I knew of their presence. I ended up getting so lightheaded that I fell limp in his arms. I was too exhausted to fight him. He reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the water bottle, handing it to me. I couldn’t hold it though I was so out of it. Everything was slowly spinning. But he kept me still.
I started to gain my full conscious back at a gradual speed, but he didn’t leave throughout it. I am sure it took forever. It felt like forever. He just ran his finger gently down my arm, humming something I didn’t recognize.
“You broke it,” I finally murmured.
“Broke what?” He asked.
“The pinky promise you made as we were kids. I don’t even think you remember making it. But you said you would never leave me. You left me. I needed you Shawn. I needed you that first night I spent without both of my parents saying goodnight. I needed you when I had to face my dad crying on the sofa, and me not being able to anything to help him. He wasn’t even home most of the time, he still isn’t. I was all alone,” I rambled off.
“I am here now. And I know words don’t speak as loud as actions, but this is just telling you that I will do that action no matter what, okay?” I sat up after he said that, fast enough that the blood rushed to my head and I ended up falling against him again. “Slow Y/N. I’ll help you.” He slowly lifted me to a sitting position against the couch. He was smiling when I glanced at him.
“You want me to order some food?” He asked.
“You mean the food places that probably have no power as well?” I retorted back sarcastically. He laughed, and I joined in.
“Well, I can make a killer peanut butter sandwich.”
“All do is spread peanut butter on bread, it isn’t complex.”
“Oh but mine is special. It is made with love.”
“Or arrogance,” I started, rolling my eyes. But I was also smiling.
A/N
How do you say "I'm sorry I only posted once this year" without making myself seem incredibly irresponsible?
I don't know either.
And honestly I don't have much of an excuse to tell you except that I've been busy trying to live life before I had to pack and move 14 hours away from my childhood town.
This isn't a sob story, just simply what has occured lately in my world.
But point is I have suddenly gained a lot of freetime and I will probably upload more than twice a year. I know Wattpad hasn't been a priority in my writing world simply because I have been working on other stuff but I have forgotten how much this platform helps my writing and I truly missed it.
Giant A/N over