Eli looked around the house and smiled. Everything was clean and shiny, dinner was heating in the oven and Clay and Adam were sitting together at the kitchen table practicing Clay's alphabet. Clay was determined to learn how to make his letters all the same size, or as he described it, "go in the same line."
"What are you smiling about?" Adam laughed.
"My perfect family in my perfect house," Eli shrugged. "I just don't think life could get better."
"Mm, I can think of one thing," Adam tapped his watch.
"Shh, it's better when you don't talk," Eli bent to kiss him and went to check on dinner.
"I'm glad you're so smart, Clay," Adam brushed the hair out of Clay's eyes. "Being a trophy husband is terrible. Especially if you're not even married."
"You and Papa are getting married someday," Clay told Adam. "Just wait a little longer."
"How much longer?" Adam laughed.
"I don't know. Papa always knows though. He can axe-plain it."
"I wish he would," Adam muttered and Eli shot him a look.
He and Adam had talked about getting married hundreds of times. Adam was ready. Eli was ready too, he just couldn't bring himself to pick a day. They were so happy and a little voice in the back of his head kept asking if getting married really mattered that much. What would it change?
Eli was still wondering about that when he got out of the shower that night and dried off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went to find his pajamas. All the lights in the bedroom were off, which was a little strange because he was sure he'd turned them on when he went into the bathroom.
As he reached for the light switch, Eli felt a hand cover his mouth and an arm grab him around the chest. His heart stopped until he felt the enormous hard cock pressed against his towel-covered ass.
"It's me. Don't scream. Don't make a single sound," Adam ordered. "I love you and you can trust me. Do you understand?"
Eli nodded. He relaxed as Adam guided him to the bed, hand still covering his mouth.
"I just want to hear one word," Adam paused at the edge of the bed. "Is it okay if I throw you down and fill you up with my massive, aching dick? I might be a little rough."
"Yes," Eli moaned just thinking about it. He wanted to say more but decided to play along.
"Good. Let me know if you change your mind. Otherwise, I don't want to hear a noise out of you," Adam bit down on Eli's earlobe for a second before pulling away. Then he shoved him forward, just as he promised, so Eli landed facedown on the bed.
It was everything Eli wanted. Somehow Adam always found a new way to make him crazy and that night trying to do everything in the pitch dark only heightened the experience.
"You're perfect, that was perfect," Eli gasped when Adam told him he could speak again. They were both out of breath and Eli already ached in strange places.
"That's exactly what I was going for," Adam laughed. "You keep using that word. I like it."
"Mm, you've earned it in so many ways today," Eli cuddled closer to him. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. I'd give you anything I could, Eli," Adam sounded like he was smiling. "Everything."
"You already do," Eli promised. He was so sleepy he didn't even feel like cleaning up or putting themselves in some kind of order in case Clay came in. For the first time in ages he just lay in Adam's arms and drifted off.
Eli didn't wake up until the next morning when his alarm went off. He groaned and rolled over to silence it. Adam was already up and, like every morning, had laid out Eli's toothbrush with toothpaste already on it.
Downstairs, Adam had Eli's breakfast smoothie waiting. He was filling a travel mug with coffee while he talked Clay through finding his shoes.
"See the little shelf with all the other shoes?" Adam grinned at Eli when he saw him walk in. "I bet they're right there in the middle where you left them."
"Oh yeah!" Clay gasped. "I can do them myself."
"You can? Show me," Adam came over to kiss Eli. "Love you."
"I love you too," Eli put his head on Adam's chest for a few seconds. "Any chance you want to go back to bed?"
"Mm, I'd love to," Adam hugged him. "I'm free all day. What about you?"
"I can come back after I drop Clay," Eli offered. "Tell Mack I'm working from home?"
"That sounds-" Adam paused as his phone started ringing. "Perfect. Let's do that."
"Okay," Eli grinned as Adam lifted the phone to his ear without even looking at the screen and pulled away.
"Hello?"
"Papa, I think I need help," Clay sighed, like he'd lost some kind of battle. Eli went to help Clay get his shoes tied and realized he'd gotten it right but pulled the loops too far.
"You did it, Clay!" Eli cheered. "Look, we'll just tidy them up so you don't trip. You did all the hard word."
"I did?" Clay's face lit up. "Dad! I really did it!"
"You did such a good job," Eli assured him. He glanced up and saw a horrified look on Adam's face. "Can you go to the bathroom before we leave?"
"I don't have to go."
"Go anyway," Eli ordered. Clay heaved a sigh but went. Even if he didn't have to go it would be a good enough distraction that Eli could figure out what was wrong with Adam.
"How is that possible?" Adam was asking. "I know it's been a while but I remember using-"
Eli went to stand with Adam but Adam wouldn't look him in the eyes. He almost turned away but Eli caught his elbow.
"This doesn't make sense. Are you sure? It couldn't be anyone else?" Adam asked. The voice on the other end of the phone sounded hysterical, but also female. Eli frowned. That information didn't give him even a hint of what the call could be about.
"All done, Papa. I'm ready," Clay announced.
"Okay, let's go," Eli tried to put on a happy face for Clay. He was glad he'd already planned to go home after dropping Clay and tried not to speed the whole way.
Adam was on the phone when Eli got back from dropping Clay. A few minutes of listening told Eli this time he was talking to Jeff.
"So what do I do? I mean I know we have to do a test and it's probably not true, but," Adam took a deep breath. "Is there any way this won't be news?"
Eli sat down at the kitchen table. Whatever it was, he already felt sick about it. Test? What kind of test? And if Adam was afraid of the news that meant their lives might be ruined. The possibilities flashed through his mind. Could it have been Adam's stepmom on the phone? Did it have to do with money?
Adam hung up and sat down across from Eli. He ran his hands over his face and rested his head in his hands for almost a full minute before he looked up at Eli, like he was trying to decide if he should cry or run away.
"Eli, I," Adam started but he didn't finish that thought. "This is....I don't know where to start. I'm sorry, I never dreamed...you know I never meant to, and never would hurt you if I could avoid it. I'm so sorry."
"What is it?" Eli reached across the table but Adam pulled his hands back.
"It's...probably a lie, I mean, it has to be," Adam took a deep breath. "We're going to do a test, but uh, there's a chance I might-"
"Oh my god, Adam," Eli's mind was running through the possibilities too fast. "Are you sick?"
"No, thank God, no," Adam took another breath. "Remember Cole's list? That last thing?"
"The actor," Eli felt a new series of emotions. "Your wild foursome."
"It wasn't...nevermind. The point is she's saying I'm the father," Adam did start crying then. Eli stared, trying to make the words make sense.
"You...had sex with...a girl..." Eli could imagine her face, the curated instagram feed that looked almost exactly like her mother's had at her age, the long list of family scandals going back to her grandparents. It made perfect sense except where it didn't. "But that baby is...how old?"
"Almost two years," Adam closed his eyes. "I swear to you, Eli, we were safe. We used-"
"Condoms? Or did you just pull out?" Eli lost it. "That doesn't work, Adam, but I guess you know that now."
"We all used condoms, Eli, don't be mean," Adam wiped his face. "You knew I'd been with women."
"One, when you were 18! I didn't know this was an ongoing thing!"
"It's not ongoing, you know I've only been with you since we became official. Besides, she's probably lying, Eli, can you try not to hate me over something that might not even be a problem?"
"I don't hate you," Eli put his head on the table. "Why now?"
"What?"
"Why now? If he's two, why is this just coming up?"
"Because she's going to rehab," Adam wiped his face again. "To avoid getting charged with reckless endangerment and a bunch of other things, I don't know. That's why I think she's lying. People say all kinds of things to avoid jail."
"That's true," Eli made himself look Adam in the eyes. "What do you want to do?"
"Let's just do the test and find out if he's really...from me," Adam looked away. "I can't imagine it, Eli, wouldn't I know? I wish I could feel it or something."
"I don't think it works that way, but I wish you could too," Eli wished he could do a better job of controlling his rage but he was just so angry. "So are you into women too? Do I need to worry about that now too?"
"No, Eli. You don't have to worry about me cheating on you or wanting someone else or anything like that. For the millionth time. This doesn't change that."
"This could change everything, Adam, we might have another child," Eli tried to wrap his head around that idea. "You might be a father, I mean-"
"I'm already a father!" Adam snapped. "Don't take that from me, Eli, don't you dare."
"That's not what I meant."
"I'm sorry, I know," Adam's phone rang again. "It's Jeff."
"Alright," Eli stood up, trying to make sense of everything he'd learned. How could Adam have a child?
"Today? We can go right now," Adam stood up. "What do I need to bring?"
The lab insisted the test would only take 3 days. Since it was Tuesday, they should have an answer before the end of the week. Eli watched a technician scrape the inside of Adam's cheek and carefully label the sample before carrying it out of the room with a bright red folder that warned the contents were part of an open investigation.
"Now what?" Eli asked though he already knew the answer. Adam looked like he wanted to throw up but he answered anyway.
"Now we wait."
----------------------------------------------
Adam didn't sleep for days. Whenever Eli wasn't around, he scrolled through Instagram to look at pictures of the baby. There weren't many and in most of them he wasn't looking at the camera or his face was cut out completely. Searching the rest of the internet didn't help much either. It looked like every time his mother, Khrista, carried him outside she kept his face covered, usually with her hand, earning him the nickname "smother baby."
It made Adam's skin crawl to think the little boy had been through so much already. He hoped it was all a lie, a really sick one, but part of him felt like he and Eli would give the baby a much better life compared to what he knew. Or could, if Eli could stop looking at Adam like he'd killed a puppy with his bare hands.
They met Adam's lawyer at the family courthouse the day the test results came back. Adam had cold chills all morning and could barely focus until his lawyer put the paperwork in front of him. His name was at the top but the information he wanted was at the bottom.
"The alleged father is excluded," Adam looked at his lawyer. "What does that mean?"
"You're not the dad," Eli gasped. "Oh my god, she lied."
"Not quite," Adam's lawyer shook his head and handed them another paper. "I asked the lab to do a second test, just in case."
"No," Eli looked Adam and back at the paper. "Did you know about this?"
"Yes, I signed the consent form," Adam admitted but he couldn't make himself look at the test results. "I had to be sure, Eli, we can't take any other surprises."
"Cole's the father," Eli's eyes filled up. "This is Cole's baby."
It felt like all the air left the room. Adam gripped the paper in front of him until he was shaking so hard he couldn't read it anymore. 99.9999% chance. He looked at Eli and then at his lawyer.
"We want him," Eli wiped his eyes. "We want custody."
"That's why we're here," the lawyer nodded. "I'm asking the court to assign you custody temporarily since the mother asked Adam to take him in the first place. Then we have a bigger battle to decide."
"We've decided," Adam felt Eli's hand on his back. "We want permanent custody of some kind."
"I know, but I think you should go for full custody," Adam's lawyer took a deep breath. "I've read a few of the police reports and from what they say I think we have a solid case."
"Oh," Adam hadn't even considered that. Eli pulled his hand away.
"What do you mean by police reports?"
"You know the mother is facing reckless endangerment charges, right? We're probably looking at parental neglect here too."
"Really?" Eli went pale. "Don't they have a nanny or something?"
"No. If they did she wouldn't be here now," the lawyer shook his head. "When she was arrested, the baby was home alone."
"Oh my god," Adam almost threw up. "Yes, we're going for full custody. I never want her to see him again."
"Adam," Eli gasped.
"I'm sorry, Eli, I'd never sleep again if I knew he was with her. When can we take him?" Adam was already on his feet.
"We have to meet the judge in an hour and if that goes smoothly, you'll take him when you leave here," the lawyer explained. "A social worker will go with you to do a home inspection and provide some education."
"Okay," Adam closed his eyes. "We need to help Clay too, how do we explain?"
"The social worker will help with all of that," his lawyer nodded. "I hope you two are ready for the next part because this could get very ugly, very fast."
"I'm sure it will," Eli sighed. He looked like he wanted to say more but he just stared off into space. Adam caught himself wishing Eli would do something more, maybe get as mad as Adam felt. After all, they were talking about a baby who'd been neglected. Cole's baby. Their baby.
"This is our baby, Eli," Adam insisted. "I don't care how ugly it gets as long as he's safe."
"I know."
Adam could tell from the look on Eli's face that didn't mean they agreed. He was ready to argue but the weight of the news was settling onto his shoulders. Cole's baby. Cole's DNA, his flesh and blood right there where Adam could hold him, see him, even smell him. Would the little boy look like Cole? Was it obvious?
Those thoughts consumed him. Adam barely heard a word his lawyer said, not even when they went before the judge for a temporary custody hearing. Adam stood there and spoke when he was supposed to but he couldn't stop thinking about it. Cole's baby. It felt like a sign but Adam couldn't figure out what it was supposed to mean.
"It is so ordered," the judge's words shook Adam back into the room. He looked at Eli who gave him a tight, very forced smile so Adam knew they'd won. At least for the moment.
"We'll go into a private room so you can meet him," Adam's lawyer explained. "The social worker will bring him and his things."
"I need to text Monroe," Adam realized. "We need a crib or something."
"Clay's is in the storage room," Eli took a deep breath. "I'll text him where to find everything. I saved it all for our next baby."
"You did?" Adam didn't get an answer. Eli turned away from him without another smile. Adam knew that was a bad sign but he decided to ignore it. They had much bigger issues at the moment.
----------------------------------
Eli couldn't make himself look at Adam. He knew on some level he was being ridiculous but he couldn't help it. If it weren't for the fact that Adam and Cole had zero sexual boundaries they wouldn't be sitting in a courthouse waiting to meet Cole's child for the first time. Why couldn't his fiance and his late husband just be like a normal married couple? And why hadn't he said no when Cole asked if Adam could be there while he went off to finish his bucket list?
The whole thing was stupid. Beyond stupid. It wasn't like having a baby was some mystery, everyone knew what caused babies. So how did not one but two allegedly gay men end up being possible fathers after one wild night? Eli couldn't think of anything he wanted to do less than have sex with a woman - except maybe be sitting right where he was.
In the hall, Eli heard a child crying. The door opened and Adam grabbed Eli's hand. He felt shaky, probably nervous. A tired-looking woman carried in the smallest two-year-old Eli had ever seen. The little boy had blonde hair and was probably very pale when he wasn't red from crying. It was the most gut-wrenching wail Eli had ever heard - past tired, past hungry or even sick. The cry sounded as if the baby was in complete despair over his situation.
"Hello," the woman was patting the baby's back. "This is Bottle."
"Bottle?" Adam repeated.
"Yes, his name is Bottle," it wasn't the first time she'd had to explain that. "Shh, shh, you're okay."
Eli reached for the baby, barely thinking first. The woman seemed much too eager to hand him over. The little boy dug his fingers into Eli, like he wanted something but couldn't explain. He started choking and Eli pulled him away just in time to point him in the general direction of the trash can before he threw up.
"Oh my god," Adam whispered. "Is he okay? Is he hurt?"
"He has separation anxiety," the social worker explained. "He's going to need some time to adjust. You'll have to be very patient."
"We can do that," Eli rubbed the baby's back and took the tissues the lawyer held out for him to wipe the baby's face. "His name though, does he have a middle name?"
"No," the social worker pulled out a file. "Your attorney can help you with filing a legal name change document if you'd like to do that. We've been calling him Bo but he doesn't really respond to any name."
"Does he stop crying?" Adam already looked overwhelmed. Eli bit his tongue. He had no place to be mad over that but Adam was in for a rude awakening if a little crying upset him.
"He'll probably fall asleep," Eli tried to get the baby settled on his shoulder but the baby was too upset.
The social worker went over a lot of paperwork and gave Adam a lot of information packets. Eli tried to listen but the baby was still crying and screaming in his ear so he focused on soothing him instead. Nothing seemed to work but Eli hoped that when they got him home that would change.
"This is everything they sent?" Adam demanded when the social worker handed over the diaper bag. "You have got to be kidding me."
"I wish. We need to do your home visit now," the social worker stood up. "I'll be checking in regularly until a permanent custody arrangement is reached."
"Do you have a car seat?" Eli asked, shifting the baby so he could follow her.
"Yes, we have one you can borrow for the week. Will you be needing any other furniture?"
"No, we have a lot," Adam insisted before Eli could answer. "We have a 5 year old at home so we can reuse a lot of his things."
Eli didn't hear the rest of their conversation. The baby was still screaming when he and Adam pulled out of the parking lot. Adam kept glancing in the rearview mirror at him as they drove, like he would suddenly see a reason for the crying.
"We'll take him to the doctor first thing in the morning," Eli decided. "He's got to be worn out. Maybe a warm bath will help."
"With lavender, yes," Adam nodded. "That stuff you used on Clay, the sleepytime blend."
"That's what I was thinking," Eli was surprised how angry he still felt every time he looked at Adam. He just wanted to know why. Had it really been that important for Cole to get his way? Adam hadn't even been into it that night. What if he'd said no to Cole's text? Or let Adam stay when he offered to stay with Eli that night?
"Finally," Adam took a deep breath. Eli glanced at him. "Sorry, I know babies cry but that was scary. He sounded hurt or something."
"Right, yeah," Eli realized the baby had fallen asleep. "We need a name for him."
"Yeah, we do."
"Any ideas?"
"No. I don't even know how to tell Cole's mom, I mean," Adam shook his head. "I don't understand how this happened."
"Really?"
"I know how it happened, Eli, I just don't understand why or how I could explain it."
"Me neither," Eli looked back at the little boy, fast asleep in his carseat. "He looks like Cole. I bet she has a million baby pictures that look just like this."
"I bet she does," Adam cleared his throat. "Cole would have been so happy. He loved kids."
"He was a kid."
"I know. I think it was the one thing he knew he could never do."
Eli watched Adam hold back the tears and felt like shit all over again. He hated what Adam and Cole had done but he also knew that having a piece of Cole like they did meant so much more to Adam than he would ever really understand. Looking at the little boy in the backseat again, Eli felt his heart break.
"Did Cole have a middle name?" Eli took Adam's hand.
"Bryce," Adam squeezed his hand. "I was thinking about that. Should I ask Cole's mom first?"
"Yeah, but I think she'll say yes," Eli thought for a few seconds. "Do you want to give him a middle name?"
"I don't know," Adam took a deep breath. "Are we changing our last names when we get married?"
"We?" Eli blinked. "You wouldn't drop Cole's name, would you?"
"I was thinking about it. Adam Warren has a certain ring to it. Like a doctor or something."
"That's..." Eli tried to shake it off. "Why are you asking now?"
"Because I want to give Bryce the right middle name. I need to hear it with the last name. Bryce Warren? Bryce Stryder-Warren? Bryce Phelps-Stryder?"
"I don't want to hyphenate," Eli knew that much. "Stryder or Warren. Or Phelps."
"Never Phelps."
"Okay. Well, I don't know. We have to have full legal custody before we can file the name change anyway."
"Would your dad be okay if you changed your name?"
"I have no idea. My brothers would give me so much shit. But there are plenty of grandkids to keep the name going so I don't think it matters," Eli's pulse was jumping around but they pulled into their neighborhood and he braced himself for the moment when they would have to take Bryce out of the car.
He woke up as soon as Eli unhooked the car seat and looked very confused. Bryce didn't cry, but he dug his fingers into Eli's shirt, holding on tighter than it seemed like such a little boy should be able.
"Oh my goodness," Monroe was the first one out of the house. "Look at him, he's all Cole."
"No wonder she kept his face hidden," Jeff shook his head.
"Can I hold him?" Monroe reached out to rub Bryce's back and Bryce let out a shriek, curling up and hiding his face in Eli's shoulder. "I didn't touch him, what on earth?"
"I know, it's not your fault," Eli moved Bryce away from Monroe and Jeff but the little boy was already crying. The social worker just took a deep breath and shook her head.
"He'll need time to get comfortable around anyone new," she explained. "Take it slow. Get him in a routine as soon as possible and be more patient than you've ever been in your whole life."
"What happened to him?" Monroe whispered to Adam as they all went into the house. "Is he okay?"
Eli didn't hear Adam's explanation. Instead he took Bryce to the kitchen to make him a bottle. He wasn't sure what Bryce would normally eat but warm milk had always helped Clay relax so he figured it was worth a try.
"You may have to bottle feed him for a while, I doubt he's ever had solid food," the social worker looked at her folder. "Do you have a pediatrician?"
"Yes, we need to get him in tomorrow," Eli remembered. "Adam, can you call?"
"I'll send the doctor a copy of my notes," the social worker nodded. "Just get me an email address."
She went through a lot more questions and had a tour of the house. Eli didn't go with her, instead taking Bryce right to his bedroom so he could give him his bottle away from the noise of everyone talking. He knew Adam was just nervous enough to take notes and Eli bit his tongue. A little voice in the back of his mind pointed out he should be grateful he had someone like Adam, who was such a good fit for Eli that he actually wrote things down to remember them, just like Eli did.
Bryce cried up until Eli plugged the bottle into his mouth. Then he drained the bottle in almost no time, as if he'd been waiting all day to eat. Eli grabbed a diaper, glad Jeff and Monroe thought to buy new wipes and a few different sizes of diapers. He started undressing Bryce and almost threw up when he saw that the little boy was covered in bruises.
"Adam!" Eli could hear them in the hall. "Adam, come see this."
"What is it?" Adam rushed in, flipping the light on. Eli cringed as Bryce woke up from his half asleep, milk drunk stupor but he didn't fuss. "Are those bruises?"
"Yeah," Eli peeled back the diaper tabs. "They're everywhere."
"Oh my god," Adam gasped when he got a better look. Bryce started crying again.
"We have pictures of all of this for the record," the social worker shook her head. "I've already given them to your lawyer."
"Thank you," Adam answered just as Eli pulled the diaper away and saw the worst diaper rash he'd ever seen. It was too much.
"I can't," Eli's eye filled up with tears. "I'm afraid to touch the skin there, it's got to hurt. No wonder he's screaming so much."
"Do we have something to put on this?" Adam took over changing the diaper. "Could he be allergic to something?"
"We'll find out," Eli shuddered. He dug through the collection of things he'd asked Monroe and Jeff to pick up and found the diaper rash cream. They were likely to go through all of it that night just to keep Bryce comfortable.
The good news was that Bryce must have felt better after that because he fell asleep almost right away. It gave Eli and Adam a chance to finish talking with the social worker and figure out how they should explain everything to Clay. Clara was watching Clay for the night, so they would have time to get Bryce to the doctor before Clay came home.
Jeff and Monroe left soon after the social worker, promising they were just a call away. Eli prayed that Jeff could actually keep the media from finding out. In the back of his mind he knew it wasn't possible to keep it a secret forever but the more time they had the better. With any luck they would have custody before the news got out.
Bryce woke up and ate some pureed food before he passed out again, leaving Adam and Eli with nothing else to do for the night. Normally they wouldn't have any trouble figuring out what to do with the extra time but Eli could barely look at Adam.
"Are we going to be okay?" Adam asked when Eli got in bed that night.
"We're okay," Eli sighed. "I'm just...I need some time."
"I can give you time," Adam nodded. "Cole's mom is coming."
"I figured she would."
"She'll be here tomorrow. I didn't tell her about the abuse, I wasn't sure she could handle that."
"No, of course not," Eli knew he would see Bryce's bruised little body every time he closed his eyes until his skin was clear. The sick, exhausted feeling sank into his bones. There were so many questions still running through his mind that he wanted to scream.
"I just keep wondering what Cole would be doing right now."
"Probably standing over the crib, staring at Bryce and trying to figure out how he of all people made a tiny human."
"That sounds about right."
They didn't talk much after that but neither one of them slept very well. When Bryce woke up, Adam was out of bed before Eli realized the baby was crying. He stayed in bed, hoping to drift off but never really did.
------------------
For the next few weeks, Adam felt lost in the neverending fog of doctor visits and meetings with Child and Family Services, their lawyer, Pastor Ben and even Jeff, acting as their PR manager more than Adam's father. It was all he could do to cling to the little things, sweet moments and memories he wanted to hold onto more than any of the hard and messy ones. Moments like when Clara brought Clay home the morning after they met Bryce and got to tell him he might be a big brother.
"I am?" Clay's eyes widened. "I'm a brother?"
"We want that very much," Eli nodded. "Do you still want to be a big brother?"
"Oh yes. Did you get me a baby?" Clay's whole face lit up and Adam was glad he'd thought to record his reaction. Clay started bouncing up and down on his tiptoes. "Is it here? Can I see? Can I hold it?"
"You can," Eli hugged Clay but Clay didn't want to be held, he let Eli hug him for half a second before he wiggled free.
"Papa, now, I need to see now," Clay insisted.
"Bryce is napping right now, but you can hold him as soon as he wakes up," Eli promised.
"I have a brother!" Clay gasped. "Dad! I have a baby brother!"
"We don't know if he'll be your brother yet," Adam had to smile but he stopped recording anyway. "We hope he'll get to stay here forever."
"I'm gonna keep him," Clay decided. He ran for the stairs.
"Clay, don't go up there," Eli warned but Clay only paused to give them a mischievous look before he went sprinting up the stairs anyway.
That was the end of the cuteness. Clay had a meltdown when Eli caught him before he could wake Bryce. When Bryce did wake up, he was cranky and wanted nothing to do with meeting Clay or anyone else new. It only got worse because Adam had to go pick up Cole's mother and Bryce spent the whole night crying.
For the first two weeks, Bryce cried anytime someone left the room, it didn't matter who it was. Clay took it hard, begging everyone to stay together all the time so Bryce wouldn't get upset. He threw a tantrum almost every morning before school because he wanted to stay home.
The good news was that his physical injuries healed quickly. Bryce had no interest in doing a lot of the things the doctor said kids his age should do, so he was much more like a baby than a toddler, but with Cole's mom in town they had extra help. It was still exhausting and Adam had no idea how to explain to anyone, not even Brent, what had happened. So he ignored his texts until Brent finally showed up at the house.
Bryce was in the middle of his morning meltdown because Cole's mother was upstairs doing laundry where he couldn't see her. He usually cried from the time Clay left for school until sometime after Eli got back. The longer Bryce was with them, the less time it took for him to calm down. But that morning he was inconsolable.
"Was that the door?" Adam hoped he was hallucinating. The last thing they needed was for Bryce to get upset about a delivery person.
"I'll get rid of whoever it is," Eli was already on his way to the door.
"Shh, little one, please," Adam rubbed Bryce's back. "You're okay. Dada's got you."
Adam could hear voices in the foyer and a moment later, Brent followed Eli into the kitchen. Adam's heart sank.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. Eli just shrugged.
"I was worried, you two disappeared," Brent looked worried as he stared at Bryce. "Looks like you need us."
"No, we're fine," Adam insisted. Bryce got louder and Brent raised his eyebrows.
"He's got separation anxiety," Eli explained. "It's been like this since his mom left him here. We're doing everything we can but sometimes he just cries."
"Let me try," Brent peeled Bryce away from Adam and tucked him on his shoulder, turning his back so Bryce was looking at Adam and Eli. Brent started to hum, one steady low note, and rubbed Bryce's back just like Adam had.
It took a minute but Bryce quieted and finally stopped screaming. He stopped crying a minute later but Brent kept rubbing his back and rocking gently from side to side.
"Thank you," Adam wanted to glance at Eli to see if he felt as annoyed as Adam but they still weren't getting along that well.
"So who is this sweet guy?" Brent turned to the side so he and Bryce could both look at them.
"We hope he'll be our son," Adam's mouth went dry. That was the easiest answer, at least since he and Eli hadn't planned what to tell people.
"Oh, wow," Brent smiled. "I didn't know you two were ready to adopt, that's great."
"This wasn't planned," Eli huffed, as if he had to make sure Brent knew he wasn't happy.
"None of us planned it," Adam wished he could let it go but he was so tired he didn't care if they had a fight in front of Brent or not. "This isn't the kind of thing you imagine happening."
"I'm sorry, remind me again how babies are made?" Eli glared.
"Okay," Brent interrupted. "You don't have to explain."
"No, it's fine," Eli sighed. "Did you know Cole had a list?"
"A list?" Brent glanced at Adam.
"Yeah, things he wanted to do before he died," Eli went on. "Like a bucket list. And Adam wanted him to have everything on his list."
"You can't blame me," Adam wanted to point out that Brent would do the same for Maddox and vice versa but he didn't get a chance.
"No one's blaming," Brent insisted. "So what was on the list?"
"Mostly stupid stuff," Adam shrugged. "He turned our pool to jello so he could watch Clay in it. Cost almost 8,000 dollars to replace the filters."
"Probably worth every penny," Brent smiled.
"It was cute."
"Clay lasted 15 minutes," Eli reminded him. "Then he wanted the real pool back. Not worth any of it."
"But there was this guy Cole's always had a crush on," Adam got to the point before Eli could twist the story too much. "His celebrity crush. A straight guy, of course," he smiled.
"Allegedly," Eli rolled his eyes. "Because Adam talked him into it pretty easily."
"He just wouldn't do it without his girlfriend," Adam ignored him. "So we set up a weekend, and Cole got his wish."
"And then Bryce happened," Eli finished.
"Oh no," Brent's eyes widened. "Is he yours, Adam?"
"No," Adam shook his head. "He's Cole's. We did a DNA test and everything."
"Oh my god," Brent pulled Bryce away from his chest and looked at his face. Adam knew he could see the resemblance right away.
"We've filed for sole custody."
"What about his mom?" Brent asked. "How does she feel?"
"Considering she left him with us so she could go to rehab?" Adam finished the last piece of the story. "I don't care."
"No, Adam," Brent's expression changed and a look of realization spread across his face followed by horror. "This could be really ugly."
"If you knew half of what he's been through you'd feel exactly the same way," Adam took Bryce from Brent. "Come on, little man, let's finish eating."
Eli walked Brent to the door and came back more upset than he was when he first left the room. He came right to Adam, wrapping his arms around him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so tired of fighting," Eli took a deep breath. "I love you."
"I love you too," Adam closed his eyes.
"Dax has to give his nephew more bone marrow. The cancer came back," Eli whispered.
"Oh, wow," Adam hugged Eli a little tighter. "Is he gonna be okay?"
"Maybe. Brent said there's a 70% chance of remission."
"That's...lower than I want."
"I know."
Adam held Eli for another minute before he had to turn back to Bryce. The baby was just staring at them, one fist in his mouth and a string of drool rolling down his arm. Eli sighed.
"He should be talking. Making some noise. Maybe we should do that other hearing test," Eli suggested.
"I think so too," Adam knew the doctor wanted them to wait until Bryce was settled, but if that didn't work he definitely wanted to do anything he could to make sure Bryce had everything he needed.
------------------
"Thank you so much," Eli hugged Brent when he came out of the courtroom the morning of their discovery hearings.
Eli and Adam had given their depositions that morning and Maddox was in with the lawyers. Outside the courthouse there was a crowd of reporters the same size as one Maddox might draw on a normal day at work, the difference being that day the reporters were all there to hear about Adam and Eli's custody case.
"I'm so sorry we had to ask you to do this," Eli couldn't stop apologizing.
"Don't apologize," Brent squeezed him. "I'd do it over again in a heartbeat. You deserve it."
"Thanks," Eli took a deep breath.
"Do you want coffee or anything?" Brent offered. "I'm waiting for Maddox, obviously, so I could bring you something."
"No, I'm too nervous to eat. Adam's bringing Clay in. They're going to interview him with a social worker and a child psychologist."
"He'll be fine," Brent put his hand on Eli's shoulder. "They'll be so careful with him, Eli, don't worry."
"I'm not allowed in," Eli explained. "I have to watch from the next room, I just can't take it."
"Hey, he's not going to know there's anything weird about it," Brent squeezed his shoulder. "Clay's an amazing kid, Eli, he's going to talk to them like they're his friends. He's never met a stranger, he won't know to be scared or worried."
"Unless I upset him, I know," Eli made himself take a deep breath. "I just don't know what they'll ask and who knows what he might say?"
"What could he possibly tell them?" Brent smiled. "He has two parents who adore him and each other. There's nothing he could come up with that would hurt you."
"I hope you're right," Eli sighed. He couldn't really think of anything Clay could tell the judge that might hurt their case but he just didn't know. That was the hard part.
"Eli," Brent looked nervous. "They asked me about Bryce, if I knew about any abuse or neglect."
"Yeah," Eli had hoped they wouldn't ask that.
"I said I didn't know. That you hadn't said anything."
"I know," Eli looked away. "We did that on purpose. It might have influenced your testimony."
"Was he...?" Brent didn't finish the question. He didn't have to.
"The state documents repeat ER visits for children," Eli swallowed back the sick taste in his mouth. "We took him to the pediatrician the morning after we got him and they pulled his records," Eli shook his head. He wished he could forget even half of what they'd learned about Bryce that day. "I can't imagine how a 6 month old breaks an arm, can you?"
"No," Brent closed his eyes. "I'm sure there might be a good reason but," he sighed.
"Yeah. If that were the only thing, I'd think that too. But that's only one incident."
"Who could do that?" Brent demanded. "To a child? He's just a baby, I can't-"
"Hey big guy!" Eli braced himself as Clay came running for him. He was sturdy as ever.
"Papa, do I look good?" Clay asked, hugging him tight. "I told Dad I wanted to look like you."
"You look great," Eli smiled. "Love the way Dad did your tie, very fancy."
"I knew it was important," Clay looked very serious. "I want to do a good job so we can keep Bryce."
"You will," Eli bit his tongue. "It'll be real easy, you'll be a rock star."
"Dad said you can't come with me," Clay frowned.
"We can't. But you won't want us there anyway, your dads will just be in the way."
"Okay," Clay looked like he was thinking about that. "Papa, why does that man keep looking at me?"
"What man?" Eli looked around.
"Over there, in blue. Dad?" Clay raised his voice.
"Yes, Clay?" Adam was talking to Brent but he stopped and smiled at them. Then his smile faded.
"Dad, is that guy from your band?" Clay asked. "He looks like we know him."
"No," Adam shook his head. "No, Clay, he's not from my band," he stepped closer to Eli.
"You've got to be kidding me," Brent hissed.
Eli turned to see what they were all looking at. He felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach when he saw him. Hunter.
"Papa?" Clay pulled on his sleeve. "Do you know him?"
"We know him," Eli's mouth was too dry. Hunter was coming toward them. "Yes, you know him too."
"I knew it. I saw him before. A long time ago."
"Hello," Hunter said. "Eli, Adam," he nodded at them. "Clay, I'm Hunter."
"Hi," Clay stepped back, like he was afraid.
"Do you remember me?"
"I don't know," Clay took another step away from Hunter.
"You were just a baby last time I saw you," Hunter's face was heartbreaking. No matter how much Eli wanted to hate him right then he couldn't. No one deserved that kind of pain. "We were learning about shapes."
"Uncle Cole taught me shapes," Clay shook his head. Eli could have kissed him. He'd be getting as many scoops of ice cream as he wanted after this.
"What else did your Uncle Cole teach you?" Hunter asked. Just like that any sympathy Eli had for him was gone. Hunter did deserve to hurt, every bit of it.
"Lots of stuff, I don't know," Clay reached for Adam. "Dad, I have to go to the bathroom."
"Okay, let's go find it. We'll be back," he looked at Eli and then at Brent like he was nervous to leave Eli alone.
"He calls Adam, Dad," Hunter watched the two of them walk away. "And he doesn't remember me."
"Would you want him to?" Eli knew he should bite his tongue but he couldn't. "Did you want him to keep asking for you and wondering where you were?"
"No, I just didn't think he would forget me," Hunter shook his head. "He looks great, Eli, really amazing."
"Why are you here?" Eli demanded.
"I'm here with a client," Hunter's expression changed back to the blank look Eli knew too well.
"Tell me it's not her," Eli could feel his pulse speeding up. "Jesus, Hunter, tell me you're not here to make that junkie whore look good."
"You know I can't discuss-" Hunter started to say.
"She starved him," Eli lost it. "Left him in his crib for days, couldn't even hire a fucking nanny she was so high, and that's not even the worst, Hunter, he had burns-"
"Eli, enough," Brent stepped in front of him. "That's enough, he knows."
"How could you?" Eli asked, ignoring Brent. "If you know all that how could you?"
"Shh," Brent put both hands on Eli's shoulders. "It doesn't matter, Eli, he just wants the money. The facts aren't important to him."
"That's right," Eli tried to calm down. He didn't want Clay to see him upset. "That's right, you probably think walking away from your baby is normal, don't you?" he pushed Brent off.
"I live with that choice every day," Hunter's expression didn't change. "And I regret it, Eli. I'm sorry for how it happened. I wish I'd done things differently."
"I don't," Eli lowered his voice. "Honestly, you know what? I don't regret it at all. I'm glad you did it. We are so much better off without you."
"I can see that. I'm happy for you."
"I don't want to hear that," Eli shook his head. "Just go. Run back to Dan or Dwight or whoever the fuck it was."
"David," Hunter cleared his throat. "And we're not together anymore, he cheated on me."
"I'm shocked!" Eli lost it again. Brent squeezed his arm.
"Clay's coming back," Brent warned. That was the only thing that could keep him under control.
"Please go," Eli said. "I don't want to upset him."
"Alright," Hunter nodded. "I'll see you around."
"I hope not," Eli sighed.
Hunter had only just turned to leave when Clay and Adam reached Eli. Clay slipped his hand into Eli's.
"Who was he?" Clay still hadn't learned to whisper. Eli couldn't help but smile when he saw the hurt look on Hunter's face hearing that question.
"No one," Eli knew it was petty but he didn't care. "Did you and Dad find the bathroom?"
"Yes, he made me wash my hands," Clay sighed.
"Good," Eli smiled. He started to turn away but there was a commotion and he turned just in time to see Maddox's bodyguard grab him. Hunter was across the hall from Maddox looking absolutely terrified.
"Let go, I'm not dangerous," Maddox was saying. "I'm fine, please let go," he sounded calm.
"Papa?" Clay squeezed his hand. "Uncle Dax just tried to kill him."
"Someone's been watching way too much TV," Eli laughed but his heart was racing. He prayed Maddox really hadn't attacked Hunter - only for Maddox's sake. Hunter would eat his insides in a courtroom if Maddox had done anything even close to wrong.
"I think he just...growled at him," Brent said. Eli couldn't tell if he sounded confused or impressed. Maybe both. "No one tell him why Hunter's here, okay? I can't lose my husband on murder charges."
"Agreed," Adam was watching with wide eyes.
"Clay, it's your turn," Eli realized their lawyers were waving to them. "Come on, let's go meet everyone."
"Okay," Clay nodded. He looked very serious but Eli felt a little better seeing how fast he'd moved on from their moment with Hunter.
Eli held Adam's hand, not sure which one of them was sweating more as they watched Clay during his interview. Clay was fine, just like they hoped, calmly coloring the picture he was asked to draw.
"I don't know how many windows are in our house," Clay frowned as he was drawing.
"That's okay, just draw it however you want to," the psychologist told him. "Clay have you lived in that house your whole life?"
"No, we moved," Clay explained. "That's when I got my dad. I think I had a different one but he left. I don't know why but I love Dad so it's okay."
"Your Papa didn't say why your first dad left?" the psychologist asked.
"He went somewhere else," Clay was very focused on his picture. "But I don't think Papa wants him to come back. We have Dad now and Dad is really good. He does make me brush my teeth though and watches the whole time."
"What else does your Dad make you do? Are there other things you don't want to do but he makes you do them?"
"Yeah," Clay sighed. "I have to wash my hands and eat my peas and turn off the TV. But I love him anyway."
"And you do whatever your parents ask you?"
"I have to or the TV goes away and I don't get cookies."
"What about your Papa, does he ever do things you don't like?"
"Um," Clay paused. "Well, I don't like it when he leaves. He has to go away for work with Uncle Dax and I stay home with Dad. But Dad puts the counting app on his phone and every night we count how many days until Papa gets home. One time I counted it all by myself and I forget how high but it was the highest I ever counted so Papa let me pick out a new book and we went to a real bookstore to get it."
The longer they talked the more Eli tried to relax. Everything seemed to be going well but he never knew what they would ask next. Clay didn't care, he talked just like he did to all other adults and answered every question honestly.
"Did you see? Did I do okay?" Clay asked when he came out of the interview room.
"We watched the whole time, you did great," Eli assured him. "Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah, I got to keep this," Clay handed over the picture. "I drew Bryce in it, I don't know if that was allowed but I wanted to."
"I love it," Eli smiled. "If it's what you wanted then it's perfect."
"Can we go home now?"
"Yes, we can. Do you want to get ice cream on our way?"
"Please!" Clay's face lit up like he'd never heard such a great idea before.
Eli was still trying to shake off the events of the day that night when Adam brought him his ringing phone. He hoped it was the lawyer but the number said [CALLER ID BLOCKED].
"Weird," Eli made a face.
"It could be the social worker," Adam shrugged. "Just answer. If it's a reporter you can hang up."
"Alright," Eli sighed and answered the phone. Adam stood there watching his face.
"Don't hang up," Hunter's voice was not the one Eli expected to hear. "I don't know why I'm doing this, but I need you to know I'm not working for...them."
"What?" Eli blinked.
"You know what I'm saying, Eli, I'm not helping protect an alleged child abuser," Hunter sighed. "I would never do that, especially not in a case that involves you."
"Alleged? You should have seen it, Hunter," Eli snapped. "There's nothing alleged about it, it was very real."
"I didn't call to fight, Eli. I just wanted you to know the truth. I was at the courthouse to see a client, and my client isn't part of the custody case. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life but please never think I value money or my job more than protecting a child."
"Well good, I'm glad to know you'll sleep well tonight," Eli rolled his eyes. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to pretending you don't exist and raising the one child you didn't give a shit about protecting."
"That's not fair, Eli, you know I left you to protect him," Hunter protested. "He's better off with you and Adam. I've seen all the pictures and videos on Snapchat and Instagram, Adam's a better dad than I ever was. He'll be a better husband too. I'm sorry I did such a shitty job of ending things but I'm not sorry I ended it."
"Me neither," Eli didn't know what he was supposed to do with everything Hunter told him. "Goodbye, Hunter."
"Goodbye, Eli."
Adam was watching but Eli didn't know what to say. He dropped his phone on their bed and shook his head.
"I just want to go take a long hot shower," Eli finally decided. "Maybe tomorrow will be a better day."
"Want company?" Adam offered.
"Actually, yes. I don't want to be alone right now."