Thursday was a very terrible day, well it became terrible once Rayne was taken away from me by his friends. After I came back from the jewelry store I hid in my room and played xbox with Phil and a few of our friends because we had nothing better to do.
I couldn't get a hold of him that night, I wanted to talk to him on the phone or at least text message but he never answered. I thought he left me for good! Like what if he found a better guy than me? One that isn't confused but a real homo?
I hope to God that he didn't. I'd be devastated. He wouldn't even answer my calls this morning, and I'm too chicken to go to his room. I'm too chicken to let him in my room. But he needs to answer because it's now Friday and we're all going to the beach.
Not just us two but the rest of the crew; Priscella, her friends, Phil and our friends and Rayne. We're all gonna go to the beach and have a good ass time.
Specially because it's Friday and the sun is out, and it's not stormy! So we have to go now before someone jinxes it.
I sneaked behind Phil as he looked down on his computer. "Phil!" I screamed at him, he jumped up.
"What?! Dude, you scared the hell out of me," He held his chest.
I laughed. "I have to tell you something..."
"What? Is it Zoey again? Cause I didn't tell her anything!" He recoiled with force of habit.
"No, it's about Rayne."
"Oh, what's wrong? Are you being mean to him again? Do I need to go and tell him good things about you again?"
"Aw, you told him good things about me?"
He eyed me. "Maybe...what's going on?"
"I asked him out."
His jaw dropped. "You asked him out?!"
"Yes, I'm just letting you know just in case you see us getting ... touchy ..."
"What the fuck dude, are you okay? I thought you didn't like gays in the first place!"
"You know well that it was an act. You know why I hated them. But Rayne is different and I really like him."
"So you're gay? Since when? I am so confused."
"I'm not gay, I only like Rayne, every other guy is gross to me."
"Ah, well that sure seems fun. Must be one heck of a guy to make you like him that way. Are you sure though? Maybe you don't like him that way."
I shrugged. "I don't know, but I like him a lot. More than girls."
"Hm, well alright man, what ever makes you happy."
"Thank you," Supporter number one. Now I have to go one by one. My mom will be the last.
"Is he coming with us? Rayne."
"I'm trying to call him but he won't answer," I told him as I stared at my phone one more time. He didn't reply to any of my messages. It honestly made me sad.
"Go to his room, maybe he was busy."
I ran out my room really fast and darted down the hall. He better be in his room, I don't want to go without him. And I told him that we were going to hang out today so he better not have bailed on me.
When I reached his room, I knocked really hard on the door and waited. Please, please be here. Please Rayne, come on buddy.
I knocked again. Nothing. Ugh! Come on!
"Rayne!" I yelled at the door, stupid door, come on!
"Yes?" I was startled when I heard his voice behind me, it scared me, seems like everyone is scaring each other these days.
There he was, looking cute and confused.
"Where have you been?" I breathed, trying to calm my heart rate. He moved me aside and shoved his key in, he had a few shopping bags.
"I was at the studio talking to the the people for the commercial. Why?"
"You didn't answer my calls or my text messages," I said as I followed him inside the room.
"Oh crap! I forgot about my phone," He cursed as he looked inside his pocket for his phone. I watched the screen turn on as he pressed a button, and there I saw my missed calls and text messages. "Aw, I'm so sorry. I forgot that I left it on silent."
I sighed. Okay, so he wasn't ignoring me. Thank God.
"It's okay. But we're kind of leaving soon to the beach if you still want to come."
"Who's we?"
"Phil, Priscella and a couple of our friends. We're gonna ride in the back of Phil's truck. And I'm not going without you."
"Aw, I'm sorry, I totally forgot about it but I'd love to go."
"Good," I walked towards him, grabbing his hands and making him drop the bags. He suddenly looked nervous as I walked closer to him. I smiled at him, he looks so adorable when he acts all shy around me. I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him closer to me as my lips hovered over his. Just as I was about to kiss him, someone knocked on the very opened door.
"Jeez, you weren't kidding around," I heard Phil.
I turned around with a very annoyed look on my face. "Really, Phil? Really?!" He just ruined our moment. I want to freaking kiss him when we aren't in a car and when we aren't being interrupted by our stupid friends.
"Sorry! I just came by to tell you that you have," He looked at his watch, "ten minutes before we leave." And then he was off.
Now we're back to feeling awkward. Specially me, since I was almost caught kissing Rayne by my childhood best friend who watched over me while I hated all the gays in the universe. But that's now the past.
I looked back at Rayne who was blushing. "Do you think you can get ready in ten minutes?"
He nodded his head.
"Alright, I'll wait for you outside," I moved away and headed out the door to give him his privacy. He closed the door very gently and I rolled my eyes when I heard it lock.
I sang to myself while I waited. "It's Friday...Friday...Gotta get down on Friday...Everybody's looking for the weekend, who's looking for the weekend? Jesse is!" That was my remix. "Girls just wanna have fun ... lalala ... that's all the lyrics I know to that song ... lalala."
"I'm done!" Rayne announced as he opened the door five minutes later, he came out looking so freaking adorable! Wah! This guy is going to drive me nuts! He wore white and blue swimming shorts, the long kind - not the embarrassing tiny ones - and a white shirt. He also had a backpack on.
"Got everything?"
"Yup."
I took the sunglasses that were hanging from my neck and placed them on, then I reached in my pocket and handed him a brand new pair, I bought it cause I thought it would look good on him.
"Put it on," I told him as we walked away and into the parking lot. He looked great, damn. This new feeling I have for men - Rayne I should say but he's a guy so men - is really exciting. It's like being born again but with new feelings that I've never experienced. It tickled my stomach every time I looked at him.
"Guys! God dammit! Help me with the cooler!" Priscella groaned as she tried to lift the cooler on the back of Phil's truck. I ran up to her and easily grabbed it with one hand. "Show off, freaking jerk, I hate you."
"Would you still hate me if I told you that I asked Rayne out?"
One at a time...
Her jaw dropped, same reaction as Phil's. "Are you...are you being serious? Oh my God?! I was only kidding around when I was kept asking if you two were on a date. What the hell?! What happened? Jesse! Oh God! I feel all weak now. Boy on boy action turns me the hell on! How did it happen? Tell me! I thought you were straight! You hated gays! You idiot! HOW?!"
I took one giant step away from her before I answered. "It just happened. I like him so why not act on my feelings?"
"Oh LORD! Someone hold me!" She screamed as she slowly fell on the floor while she dangled on the truck. "I can't take it!"
"What's wrong?" Chance came running, he's one of the guys that really likes Priscella but she has no interest for him.
"Jesse! Tell him!" She sobbed.
"Uh..I think she's overreacting, but I asked out Rayne," I told him, I felt completely and utterly bored right now. I'm not even scared that I'm telling everyone that I like men that way. Even though I don't like men at all, but they can think what they want.
"You asked him out? Like on a date?"
"No, I asked him to come outside with me, yes I asked him out, idiot."
"Oh man. I did not see that coming but alright," Then he shot Priscella a look.
"Rayne, how are you taking all of this? A good looking homophobic jerk asked you out. How does it make you feel?" She asked him.
"Makes me feel like a bottle of alcohol."
I chuckled. "Bottle of alcohol?"
"Yeah, all dizzy and fuzzy inside."
Have I mentioned how adorable he was?
"Oh my heavens. The way you two look at each other is so sweet. I'm gonna cry."
"Priscella," I snapped, "I can't take you seriously when you're hanging on the truck like that." She was all backwards like a monkey, hair falling back and looking like the grudge.
"So are you guys boyfriend and boyfriend or are you gonna decide after the date?"
I shrugged. "After the date?"
"So Rayne is still single in the mean time then, huh? Hey, Rayne, want to come over my room later tonight?" She winked at him. She did not just flirt with my future boyfriend - Ugh, that felt super weird to say. My boyfriend ... but it felt so new and fresh.
He crossed his arms, which again, mean he was nervous and uncomfortable.
"Leave him alone," I kicked her ass and she fell down pretty hard. Her boobs broke the fall though. She's like a cat, her body twists so she can land on her paws.
I opened the cooler and grabbed a beer then I looked at Rayne who shook his head when I tried to give him one. He's super clean. No drugs, no alcohol. I like it. But he's Irish, don't they drink like the world is ending? I opened the can and took a sip.
"Are we ready?" Phil asked as he stepped out of his car, I didn't even notice that he was in there.
"Yeah!" Priscella screamed, still on the floor. I hope she gets run over by a car.
"Let's go then!" He shouted so our friends can know we're leaving.
I helped Rayne get on the back of the truck and I had to help Priscella too, her short ass couldn't climb up. Chance jumped right over it and he sat next to Priscella. I remember that Chance fell out of the truck once, it was hilarious.
I jumped on board and sat next to Rayne. Three of Priscella's girlfriends got inside of the truck, I guess they hate riding on the back? I absolutely love it, I love the wind rushing through you hair and how you feel so free.
"Jesse, don't drink all the beer," Priscella told me as Phil started the engine after closing the back door.
I glared at her, she did not just tell me that. I took a giant gulp and spat it out at her. She shrieked in return. Yep.
"Jesse! That's disgusting! Don't do that! Rayne! Control your man!"
"He's not gonna listen to you, so shut up."
I remember when I actually liked Priscella that way, I guess when Rayne came into my life all the crushes I had on girls perished away. Like they never even existed. I also wanted him to know that I wouldn't cheat on him or love someone else while I'm trying to be with him.
Rayne twitched when the truck moved so I quickly held him so he wouldn't fall backwards. Oh yeah, looking all cool while I have my arm over a guy. My guy.
"So how did this happen? I thought you were straight," Chance asked me. I glared at him - even though he couldn't see my eyes from the sunglasses.
"Things happen, sometimes you can't explain them, so it's better to leave them a mystery."
"I feel bad for you, Rayne," Priscella told him.
"Thanks for the support, I appreciate it," I frowned.
Rayne locked his arm around me tightly and that made me forget about the whole world. I sighed and leaned against him playfully. He's really soft, and I don't mean it in a gay way, I mean he's physically soft. His skin is soft. I liked it.
Would it be wrong if I ripped his shirt off? Well he freaked out when I peeked in when he was changing so I guess he'd get mad at me. Well I want to keep digging more into this new feeling, I want to know what I feel like when I see his boob-less body.
Hm, I bet he wants to see me shirtless. That reminds me of when that stupid girl asked me to take off my shirt at the sleep over and I said no because Rayne was there. Ugh, I feel so bad about it. I wasn't acting like my true self.
Blah, who cares! I let go of Rayne just for a second so I could take off my shirt. He looked away when I did. Priscella stared at me with a blank expression and Chance was looking at some girls who were walking on the sidewalk.
"Can I put my shirt in your bag? Phil has my bag inside the truck," I told Rayne.
He opened his hand and I gave him my shirt.
Would it be creepy if I told him the real reason I took his shirt back to my room? Well I want to sleep with it.
"Turn up the damn music!" Priscella knocked on the back window of the truck.
"Hey guys, you know that Rayne is going to be a model now?"
"A model? What?" Priscella finally looked interested, only because it involved models. Stupid girls.
"He's gonna be in a commercial."
"Congratulations, Rayne! Once they see you on air, people will start calling for you."
"What does that mean?" I asked her.
"Well he has the perfect look to be a model. So people would see him and they would want him to be in their photo shoot and stuff. It happened to one of my old friends."
I smiled at Rayne. I hope he gets all the luck in the world, he deserves it. And he seems pretty happy about modeling. Or at least uncaring about it. I wanted to kiss him, the way he looked at me drove me crazy.
I leaned forward to kiss him but all of the sudden Phil hit the break and I ended up smacking my forehead against his.
"God dammit!" I cursed.
We both rubbed our foreheads, how embarrassing. I could see Priscella and Chance grinning from the corner of my eyes.
The trip to the beach was quite slow, it's Friday so there are a lot of people on the streets at this time. Everyone is just out having fun just like we are. The parking lot was full but we managed to find a great parking spot. We usually don't find a parking space - Rayne is now our lucky charm, because he's a bunny.
It's funny how things fall into place.
I grabbed Rayne's hand and helped him jump over the truck, I don't think he needed help but he knows I'd still do it anyway. I want to help him do everything. I'll feed him and clean him if I want.
"Girls, take those three bags right there," Priscella told her three friends as they got out of the truck.
I grabbed my own bag from the inside of the truck and took out my towel. The sun was really hot today. I felt like I was in an oven. I tossed my towel over my shoulder and laid my arm over Rayne's shoulder.
"Chance, take the cooler please," Priscella was the leader today.
"Yes ma'am."
"Jesse, can you take this umbrella?" Priscella asked me as she pulled the giant umbrella from the truck.
I moved away from Rayne to help her take it out without breaking it. It was kind of heavy.
I pretty much dragged it, I was too lazy to actually lift it on my shoulders or something. I'd probably smack a few people with it though, so it's better to be safe than sorry.
The parking we had was unbelievably perfect because we only had to walk a few minutes to get to the spot we always go to - right next to the pier. Ah, this is where Rayne and I went to on our mandate. To be honest, it was kind of a real date but neither of us knew it. At least I didn't.
I think that was the day I realized I liked him. Well not realized but kind of felt something towards him, the day something opened inside of me. I've never trusted anyone with my past - except Priscella and Phil, but only because they've known me for years. But I trusted him so easily...
And I had so much fun with him that day, he's such a happy person. I also couldn't stop staring at his smile, it's a great smile. And his eyes, oh man, so bright. My weird ass eyes don't compare to his.
At least he knows I'm not trying to lead him into anything. I already asked him out, and he gladly said yes. Now we just have to see how far I can really go. Am I only attracted to his personality or am I fully attracted to him?
Priscella tripped over something in the sand and fell face forward. That looked like it hurt. She spat out some sand and coughed a few times. That is gross.
I dragged the stupid umbrella across the sand and stopped when Priscella did. She took it from my hands and pushed me away. You're welcome, brat.
She opened the giant thing and set it on the sand. I hope the wind blows it away.
"Girls! Where are the towels?!" She screamed.
"Here," The brunette one threw a really big towel to her face.
I turned to Rayne. "You should work on that tan," I grinned.
"I guess," He said as he shyly looked down on himself.
"Don't tell me you're shy about taking your shirt off."
"I'm not, it's just ... you're staring at me."
Oh what the ... is he saying I'm the only one that makes him shy? Do I make everything a shy moment for him? Oh yeah. Right on.
I dropped my bag and his next to Priscella, she's the guard. She's gonna be tanning the whole day so she can watch over our things. Then I removed my shoes and took off anything that might get lost in the water.
"Put your shoes next to mine," I told him.
"So did you guys pass first base yet?" Priscella asked while blocking the sun from her eyes.
"We kissed twice," I muttered, I wasn't happy that we haven't had a real good kiss yet.
"Hurry up then. What are we in? First grade?"
"Priscella," I frowned, "Rayne isn't like that okay?"
"Damn right I'm not," He said.
I chuckled. When I looked at him he was already shirtless, and now I knew why they wanted him to tan. I think he's a very sexy pale guy and there is nothing wrong with it. I scanned his flawless body and began to question myself. Did I like it? Hell yes.
"You guys run along now, you're blocking my sun," Priscella waved us off.
I grabbed Rayne by the arm and pulled him towards the ocean, I want to see him shriek when he touches the freezing cold water of California. Yeah, it's freezing.
When he touched the water he didn't even flinch. Oh come on! Not even a tiny bit?
"It's not cold for you?" I asked him.
"I'm used to the cold."
"Oh, damn. I wanted to see you cry."
It was amazing how bright his eyes were, so bright that I saw him roll his eyes behind the sunglasses.
"You won't see me crying again. You just really caught me at the wrong time."
He skipped deeper into the water as a wave crashed against him, this time he shrieked exactly how I wanted him to. Oh yeah. I knew he was going to scream once a big wave hit his entire body.
"Hahaha!" I snickered
"Don't laugh at me!" He grunted, then he dived under and disappeared.
I looked away and watched as one of Priscella's friends threw a Frisbee at Phil's face. That was funny but holy damn he's bleeding. Oh well. I looked back at Rayne and he was in the very deep now. He's a fast swimmer.
A wave crashed against me and hit my body, I didn't shriek from the cold but I felt like screaming. It felt good though.
I made my way towards Rayne who had only his head over the water. He looked like a little kid, his sunglasses were off though. Did he lose them?
"What happened to your sunglasses?" I asked him as I reached him.
There were a couple of girls deeper in the ocean than us, I don't think they're allowed to go that far but what ever. Not my business.
"In my pocket, they fell off when I dived in so I don't want to lose them."
"Is this your first time on the ocean?" I asked him.
"I already told you I've never been in the water so yes," He reminded me.
"Oh!" I recalled the memory of him telling me that he has seen the water but never been in it. Well forgive me for not remembering.
I grabbed his hand through the water and pulled him right on top of my lap. This was the first time having him on top of me and I liked it. And yes I'm going to remember and point out anything that we do for the first time.
I hugged him tightly against me and stared at him after I removed my sunglasses. I want to look at him and not have something blocking my eyes. Why was he so special to me? Why can't I figure it out?
We moved our faces closer to each other.
"I swear to God that if a shark pops out and ruins this kiss, I'm gonna be having him for dinner tonight," I ranted.
He smirked at me and his hand rubbed my cheek, then our lips met. I pressed him harder against me as our lips made contact. It drove me insane how I couldn't get to kiss him right, so here is our time to make it all perfect.
I captured his bottom lip between mine and gently pulled it with my teeth. He moaned against my lips and it actually, for the first time ever, made me a little excited.
My kisses are always passionate and strong, it works well when his are soft and gentle. It's like we need each other to stay equal.
I gripped his back tightly when my lips traveled down to his neck, savouring the sweet taste of his neck and the saltiness of the ocean. I passed my lips over him and inhaled the scent of his hair. His smell, his look, his taste, God it all looks so good right now.
Jesus Christ, this is so fucking good. The thought of this being so new to me drove me wild, it made me want to go on the adventurous path, It made me more curious for him.
I rocked us back and forth and I didn't even notice that I was dry humping him, or wet humping in this case?
"Are you guys fucking?" Priscella shouted so loudly that heads turned in our direction.
I flashed her my middle finger and went back to caressing Rayne's back, which was as smooth as glass. I wanted to dip my tongue all over his body, I wanted to pull his hair while we get freaky.
I felt like going back to my room and making out with him for hours, I wanted to grab his perfectly chaotic hair and kiss him like he's the only love in my world, because he is. Other people don't matter to me anymore, just him.
"Can we tell people that this is was our first kiss? Forget about the last two?"
"What last two?" He grinned.
"That's what I'm talking about!"
"You're a really good kisser," He complimented.
"Saved it for you, baby."
"And you're not even disgusted?"
"Why would I be? I love it. You're a human. And that's all it matters to me."
"Wow," He giggled and covered his mouth.
"What?"
"No one has ever been this nice to me before."
"That's because I'm a someone."
He wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a peck on the lips. "True. You're my someone now."
When I kissed Rayne in my car, I thought maybe I was going to gag a little bit. I didn't know what was going to happen. Was I going to get sick? But obviously nothing happened. That's what lead me to become more curious of how far I can take it.
Now here I am, kissing him like the world is ending and not giving a shit.
His jaw suddenly opened wide.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked immediately.
"Is...is that...are you..."
I grabbed his mouth and shook him. "Talk right."
"Sorry," He blushed, "but is that a banana in your pocket or are you really excited to see me?"
"I like to keep bananas in my pocket, especially when I go in the ocean," I frowned.
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[Author's Message...]
i'm going to cancel myself