Chapter Twenty Six | See You Again
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It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again - Whiz Khalifa
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One Week Later
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Money
"Hey baby," Essence said with a bright ass smile as she stood in front of me. She looked beautiful in her all white dress with gold hems accentuating the white parts. It was almost like she looked too good, too good to be true. The way she smiled so bright and how perfect she looked right now made her look unreal to me.
Her body was glowing and it was like she was floating on thin air. I could've sworn I saw a pair of angel wings and a halo above her head, but thought I was just tripping. Essence looked like an angel in front of me and I admired her beauty. Seeing her, only made me want to touch and hold her, never letting go of the love of my life.
I reached out to pull her into my embrace, but I couldn't do it. It was nearly impossible to touch her. My hands went straight through her body, preventing me from pulling her closer to me. I was confused as I kept trying to touch and hold her, but couldn't do it. I didn't know why, but it was impossible. I wanted to embrace my wife, but I was incapable of doing it.
"I miss you so much E," I told her with a small sigh as I finally stopped trying. It has officially been a full week with her being in this damn bed and I missed her like crazy. After she got shot, my life just stood still from that point on. Now that's she is here in front of me, I still can't hold or touch her, but I was comforted with her presence itself. I was happy to see her.
"I know, I miss you guys just as much my love. I hope that I can be with you again, but it just may be my time to go baby. God makes no mistake and whether you believe it or not, that bullet was mean't for me. Don't blame yourself Money, things happen the way they are suppose to happen," she said to me and I frowned as I shook my head. I didn't want her to talk like this. She said it like she knew she was dying and not coming back home to us, I didn't want to lose my wife. I just got her back and now I was losing her again and I blamed myself for it all. I couldn't help but to take the blame, yesterday when JD said those words it only made me feel worst about myself. He was right, it was all my fault and now there was nothing I could do.
"Baby, don't talk like that. Don't talk about dyin' cause you not, aight? Just be strong and keep pushin' hard for me and Domani. We need you, don't just give up on us E. Don't leave us here, we need you here wit' us Essence. You gotta' fight this baby, you can do it. I believe in you, we believe in you." I explained to her and before I knew it, she was crying and it broke my damm heart to see it. I wanted to hold her, but I couldn't. She was standing right in front of me, but I couldn't touch her to console her and stop the tears from flowing down her beautiful face. A man's worst nightmare is seeing his wife cry and not be able to do shit about it.
"I'm sorry Money, I really am baby. I hope that I make it through this, just pray for me. I promise to try my best to keep going for you and Domani, I won't give up. Just have faith and pray that I make it through this. I have to go now baby, but I love you so much. Tell my baby boy that I love him too. Bye Money, take care of yourself and my baby for me." she said as she waved her hand while wiping away the stray tears that had fallen from her eye sockets. I didn't want her to go, not yet. We hadn't talked long enough yet, it was way too soon for her to be leaving. She hadn't even given me a damn chance to say goodbye to her.
"Essence, wait, please baby wait a minute. We need to talk," I called to her so that she would stay and talk to me for a little while longer, but slowly her body started to fade away. She became transparent until she was no longer standing in front of me anymore. I fell to my knees and held my head in my hands. This was no easy journey, but I had to do as she said and keep the faith. She was going to make it, I was claiming it right now. I just hoped my claim came out on top and I would really see her again.
"I love you too Essence, I hope that I get to see you again baby," I mumbled back as I stood up on my knees. I just hoped and prayed that my wife makes it out, because I can not take losing her, not this soon in my life. We have so much more to do, so much longer to live, so many more babies to have together, we weren't even thirty yet. It was just way too soon for her to be dying on me, I refused to let her die on me, on us. We needed her, but seems as though the big man wanted her all to himself and I couldn't question him.
"Lord, please don't let her die on us. We need her. Give her back, please." I prayed to God that he came through and gave me my wife back. Hopefully I could see her again in person and not just in a stupid dream where I wake up from. I wanted to see her in reality, not in a dream where I may never see her again, kiss her again, hold her again. I needed her like the air that I breath and that there aint no lie. I'm grumpy ass shit, mad at the world, smoke and drink regularly, angry all the time, and I tend to get disrespectful when she's not there to balance me out. I needed her.
I shot up quickly on the pull-out couch that was off to the side of the hospital room. I'd just had a dream that could be classified as both good and bad and it scared the shit out of me. I wiped away the beads of sweat that coated my forehead as I looked around the white room that was lit up with beaming bright lights. I was the only person in here other than Essence and I was glad to be. People have been in and out all week, so some alone time was nice for us.
I sighed heavily as my eyes landed on my wife, who laid in the hospital bed with tubes going in and out of her nose. Needles were hooked into her arm along with other shit that was suppose to help her survive this shit. From here, she didn't look her best and it broke my heart to see her this way. I hated to see how sickly she looked and be the cause of it. That bullet was mean't for me and she got hit instead and that's partialy why it hurt so bad. I made promises that I would quit and I knew because of my readmission into the game, was the whole reason behind this. I already had an idea who did it and as soon as she wakes up, he gone get his.
I ran a hand over my face as I stood up and made my way over to her bedside. I pulled up one of the leather cushioned chairs and sat down so that I could be near her. I grabbed one of her pale, limp, and cold hands and brought it to my lips. I kissed the back of her hand before rubbing it with my thumb, spreading heat throughout her body. I closed my eyes as I held her hand in mine, just thinking about how shit has changed so much over the past couple days. I would have never imagined to be here, but here I am in a hospital room with the love of my life on her possible death bed.
"I love you E," I whispered to her as I held my head down with my eyes closed tight. As much as I wanted to say to her, all I could get out was that I loved her. I loved her so much until I wished it was me laying on this bed, just so she wouldn't have to endure the pain. I wish I could take her place on this bed, so she wouldn't be in this situation when it was my fault to begin with. I should've been laying there anyway, but she was there instead. Just like I should've been the one rotting away in that cell for those years, but she was there instead.
"I miss you E," I found myself mumbling into the air as I shook my head back and forth. The night that this all happened, I broke down up here and for the first time in years, I cried like a pussy nigga. Finding out the news hit me like a freight train and I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. All of the emotions from the shit that has been going on finally was released then in that stairwell. All of the pent up pressure and sadness I had in me finally came out.
I took a deep breath as I continued to hold her hand inside of mine. I didn't want to let her go, not now and not ever. She was my life, and if she died, my life would be nothing. Sad to say, but I need her more than the world will ever know. God wakes me up every morning, but knowing that Essence is good keeps me going from day to day. How shit is going now, I'm going down as well. Yeah, I been bathing and shit, but as for eating and sleeping, I haven't been doing much of that. The nap I just woke up from happened to be one of few I'd had in the past week. I was always up, waiting, hoping, and praying for a sign that she would wake up.
"She's going to be just fine baby," I heard from behind me. I didn't even have to turn around and look up to know who that voice belonged to. If I didn't know any other voices on this Earth, I knew Essence's and the woman that carried me for nine months straight and then birthed my big headed ass. I took a another deep breath before finding the strength to speak up. I didn't know how long she had been standing there, but I was kind of happy that she was here. My dad always knew exactly what to say, but moms was second best.
"How can you be so sure bout that ma'?" I asked her without turning around and letting Essence's hand go. I held onto it like my own life depended on it. I held her hand like if I squeezed hard enough she would come back and wake up for me. Unfortunately, none of it worked because I'd tried it all during the past few days and she still hadn't awaken yet and damn was it killing me.
"Son, there is a God up there ya' know. He does things that we may not like or may not know the cause of, but he works in mysterious ways. Everything happens for a reason and for some reason he allowed this to happen and Essence has to rest up for a while. I've prayed about it and I'm claiming it, she will be fine baby. I know one thing though, when she gets back on her feet you better start appreciating that girl. You damn near dying inside now, but a few weeks ago y'all were seperated because of you. Don't take the precious things for granted because that girl is truly a blessing to not just you, but to all of us Damian," she explained and I just sat there and took in every last word without responding.
My moms was right, she was preaching to my ass, but what she was saying was true. As much as I hated to admit it, she was absolutely right. A lot of shit that I've done in the past Essence didn't have to stick around for, but she did. A lot of shit she's done has gone unnoticed and it shouldn't have been like that. Essence is a damn good wife as well as a mother and not once have I ever told her that. Of course I've had the thoughts plenty time, but I never told her those words. It was just so much shit coming to mind now that she was gone. I had so much I needed to get right when she does wake up, if she does.
My moms walked closer to me and pulled my face into her as she hugged me. I hadn't had one of these all week and to have her hug me was damn shol what I needed. I wrapped my long arms around her and sighed as she just stood there without saying a word.
"She's gonna' make it baby, okay? Just be strong because whether you want to face it or not, Essence is resting, but Domani is still here. He needs his father baby, you can't abandon him because Essence isn't good right now. He's still your son and although he's young, how do you think he feels? He has to be without his mother and now his father as well?" she spoke again, speaking true shit. I just nodded against her as she continued to hold me in her arms.
I can admit, I've seen Domani three days out of this week because he's been with Nicole and Dj. I didn't want him up here seeing Essence like this, so we told him she went on a field trip. I knew I was wrong for not going to see him like a real father should, but I've been stressed out so much until my hair is turning gray at twenty six years old. I was abandoning Domani and I didn't even mean to. It was just so much shit going on around me until it was crazy.
"Another thing, I know you want to be here for your wife all day every day, but it's not good for you Damian. You have to get proper sleep and eat for your own well being. Essence is already in here, we don't need you on a bed next to her because you refuse to eat something. Damian, you may be grown, but I will shove it down your throw if I have to, try me." she said and a weak smile came onto my face. This lady was something else, but I know she wasn't playing either.
"I got you ma', I'm gone eat something and I'm gone go pick up Domani for a while. Take him to get some toys and to eat or some," I shrugged my shoulders. She nodded as she kissed my forehead with her burgundy ass lipstick, leaving a stain on me. She wiped it off of my face and patted my shoulder as she released me from her grasp. I only sighed as I looked back at Essence.
"I have to get going now, but don't hesistate to call momma if you need me. I'm not playing either Damian, you better eat something and go and see Domani too." she said and I nodded before she left out of the door. I faced Essence again and just stared at her and the rise and fall of her chest. I laid my head down on the side of the bed before I found myself drifting off into another small nap. Moms was right, I was draining myself dry from no sleep. I didn't give a fuck though, as long as I get to see my wife alive again, I'll go many more sleepless nights.
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"How's my boy been?" I asked DJ as I sat on the couch next to him while Domani sat on the floor with Haileigh playing some kiddie game on the Xbox. Of course Haileigh was whooping his ass, but he was only two so he just pressed buttons. The smile on his face made me not feel as bad for being careless and not thinking about him. I don't give a fuck what nobody say, I love that kid more than myself. I may not be the most affectionate father out there, but I love my son.
People think I be acting hard when I don't kiss Domani and don't do a lot of affectionate things that some fathers do, but thats just not how I was taught. My pops didn't do those things with me and my brothers, so I don't exactly know how to do it with my own son. Yeah, I could learn but it's just something I was never taught. Yeah, I knew my pops loved me, but he never kissed me on the forehead and other shit, baby or not. Yeah, he did it to my sister all the time because she's a girl and they are softer, but he didn't show us that kind of affection and I was cool with it. We did other shit to bond and show love for each other, so don't judge my way of parenting.
"He's been straight, he asks about his moms a lot, you too. At night time he has to sleep in the bed with us because he be crying for his moms. I guess he got used to sleeping in the bed with her during y'all lil separation, so he has to sleep all under Nicole and shit. Other than at night, he be good. I know he misses y'all tho'. You can't abandon him Money." DJ told me and I sighed as he was about to give me the same speech my moms gave me. DJ was my older brother and pops all in one, he was so much like the man until I started to call his ass pops forreal. He was wise beyond his years though, I had to give it to him.
I looked down once he finished talking and ran a hand over my face. I sat up on the couch and rested my elbows on my knees as I held my face in my hand. "I know man, I know. I just don't know what to do or where to go from here. This shit is just so complicated DJ, you just don't know." I told my big brother as I spoke through my fingers. He sighed and rested his hand on my shoulder before he squeezed it, just like my pops use to do.
"You raise your son, simple as that. You know I got you in whatever you need and I'm here for you bro, but Domani can't stay here forever man. Not saying it like that, he could, but you can't not raise him because you going through some shit. He a kid and he need you too. I'm his uncle and I can't fill the void where you're suppose to be as his father. He already has his moms going through some, he can't be stripped away from his pops too."
"I got you man, you and moms saying the same shit. Just give me the until Sunday and I'm gone get him back. Give me another night to get myself together." I said and he nodded as he looked to see the both of them still playing the game. Haileigh ran off somewhere and I took that time to get down there on the floor with my son and play the game that I'd bought. We had went to Chuckee Cheese's not long ago and then came back here. I didn't know what the hell this was I'd bought, but I played it anyway and let my lil nigga win for the hell of it.
He chuckled and bounced all over the place as his character beat mine, but I didn't even press no buttons. I allowed him to win, just to see the smile on his face. He laughed and smiled until the game was over and he had won. I smiled too as he ran into my arms and I lifted him above my head while he continued to giggle like it was the funniest shit in the world. Kids laugh at anything man.
After awhile, Haileigh came back in and she held her hands up for me to pick her big ass up too. I sighed and looked at her as I wrapped my arms around her waist and picked her up on the other side. I held both of them in the air the best that I could while they laughed. They didn't understand, I was a little nigga with a litte muscle. They damn sure wasn't made of paper either.
"Higher uncle Money," Hails giggled as slob dripped from her mouth by accident and fell onto my red and white Adidas three stripe track jacket. I frowned as the shit hit my shoulder. I was tempted to put her ass down and make her clean my shit off, but I kept throwing her in the air until my arm gave out from their weight. I passed her to her own daddy as I held Domani in my arms. I sat back down on the couch and put him on my lap. It was around nine and I had to get going back to the hospital to see Essence. I've been gone for about two hours now, so it was time I head back. Visiting hours would be over, but it wasn't shit a couple dollars wouldn't solve, everybody about the green.
"Aye lil' man, pops gotta' get goin, aight? I'm gone be back tomorrow to take you home wit' me, but you got to thug it out one more day here with yo' big head ass uncle, slobbin' ass cousin, and crazy ass aunte. I'm sorry for leavin' you wit' these people, but I got you tomorrow." I told him and he nodded his head before he held his fist out. Little nigga already had the shit down pact, but I showed a bit more affection for that ass, since everybody always complaining about how I do shit. I wrapped my arms around him and actually hugged Domani.
"I love you lil' man, always remember and never forget that." I told him as I dapped him up this time.
"I wuv you too," he said in his baby voice and I smiled a bit. Nicole came down afterwards and got both him and Haileigh so they could take their baths and get ready for bed. I sighed as I stood up from the couch and pulled up my matching Adidias pants. DJ stood up after me and pulled on his shoes. This nigga grabbed his keys and shit like he was about to dip.
"You down for some drinks, you need it." he asked and I sighed. I didn't know about all that, I been away from Essence long enough as it was.
"Ion' know man, I been gone for a minute. I need to be headin' back."
"Man, just a drink or two. You stressed, you need some to relax you. She'll be straight." he told me and I sighed as I gave in and went behind him to the damn club dressing in my Adidas tracksuit too. I didn't give a fuck, I aint have nobody to impress tonight. Fuck these hoes, my wife not there.
Before I headed to the club, I made sure to call the hospital to check up on her. She was straight, so we headed to club Essence to have a few drinks. Yeah, it should've been shut down again, but after Essence got the people shaken up down there on the board, they didn't shut us down again this time thank God. Whatever she did, worked because all they ass been on our dick lately like flys to a dead animal. As long they kept on our good side, we was straight with them.
In the next hour, I found myself sitting to the bar with a cup of Hennessy in my hands. I had been drinking the same cup since I first got here and it still wasn't empty. I just wasn't in the mood for much of shit these days and I knew why. Maybe it was the fact that Essence had took a bullet here a week ago that had me not feeling it, but I was definitely not in the mood for this drink anymore. I wish I had followed my first mind and just went to the hospital, but I figured a drink would do me good.
"Can I have a virgin strawberry margarita on the rocks please," I heard from beside me, but didn't bother to even look. When somebody brushed my shoulder, I frowned and turned towards them and there sat Danielle next to me. I shook my head and looked away, I don't even know why the fuck she here and why she next to me, the shit happen years ago and I still want to kill her ass, but I hold my peace because she Marcus girl now and I don't want no problems.
"Oh hey Money, I didn't even know that was you." she said cheerfully, making me roll my eyes at the sound of her voice. I simply nodded my head because the bitch knew damn well it was me to begin with. The only reason she came over here was because of me and she wanna' act. I shook my head as I took another sip from my drink and stared straight ahead of me.
"I'm sorry about Essence too, I know that must have been devastating for you to go through." she said as she placed a hand on my arm. My head turned to her quickly and I looked at her hand that rested on me in disgust before shrugging it off forcefully before mugging her. This bitch just crossed the line and I had to go before I decorate this bar with her brains. I downed the rest of my drink before sliding the glass back to them and looking at her.
"Keep my fuckin' wife's name out yo fuckin' mouth before I kill yo' ass Danielle, don't forget who you fuckin' wit." I told her, venom seeping from every word that I said as she looked back at me in shock. I don't know why she was so surprised, but I didn't give a fuck.
I walked away from her and headed for the door, I'd text DJ and tell him I left, hell, he left my ass anyway. I sighed as I headed for the exit of the club, I didn't want to be bothered anymore. I'm glad I drove myself because I was tired of being here, I just wanted to be next to my wife, but JD obviously had other plans as he stopped me. He stood in front of me with a blank face and I wanted to punch him dead in his face, but I held my compure.
"Fuck you in my face for?" I said bluntly as a natural mean mug made it's way onto my face. This nigga was wasting my time, I could feel it.
"Look man, I just wanted to talk. About the other night at the hospital, I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted and the shit I said. It was all uncalled for and I shouldn't have done it, I just really care about her and seeing her like tha-" before dude could even finish his sentence my fist colided with his mouth, causing chaos to form within the club. I punched his ass another two times before I felt myself being pulled away from him. I looked back and he was holding his face, which made me smirk in satisfaction. He better be lucky I had only did damage with my fist and not heat.
"Nigga don't you ever come in my face wit' that shit again and I swear to God yo' life took." I yelled to him as I headed towards the door. Everybody looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't give a fuck. Every last one of them could suck my left nut and die, that shit really just pissed me the fuck off. On my way out, I punched a hole in the wall, just for the hell of it. Once I got to the guards at the front door I stopped.
"Get that nigga JD the fuck outta' my club," I yelled as I proceeded to walk outside, before turning back to face the bouncer. "Oh yeah, and that bitch Danielle too." I said and finally got to my car. I took a deep breath and massaged my hand before heading back to the hospital to see my wife again, it's where I should have been in the first place and this shit wouldn't have happened.
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JD
The bouncer tossed me out on my ass and I ended up falling dead on my face. I yelped as I sat up slowly and reached for my cheek that had just been scarred from the hard ass concrete. I cursed myself for being so stupid as I felt the bone in my nose broken and bloody. Damn, that nigga had a good ass right hook too. My jaw was swelling up, my now was broken, and now my other cheek was skidded up from the concrete. Maybe this shit was a dumb ass idea.
"Don't fuckin' touch me." I heard Danielle loud mouth ass yell as the bouncer tossed her out, right behind me. He pushed her through the doors and then threw her purse out after her before closing and slamming them back shut. She cursed as she made her way over to me. I shook my head as I pulled myself up from the ground and stood in front of her, that's when she burst out laughing. I wanted to punch her ass, but I just turned around and headed to the car with her on my tail.
"Damn, he fucked your face up. You can't get no pussy now, not that you could get any before, but now all yo' chances gone nigga." she doubled over laughing while I simply mugged her. I wanted to kick this bitch out my car, but I had a heart.
"He he, hell. You talkin' all that shit but don't forget I hit that ass too, so stop playin' ya self. Ya' pussy not even all that for you to be so damn boujie, no wonder Money left yo' duck ass. Hole like a strectched out rubber band." I said grinding her ass up and she smacked me with her purse, making my nose hurt worse than before.
"Fuck you, pencil dick ass. You aint big, so shut the fuck up. For the record, my pussy is grade A, fuck you mean? That bitch Essence pussy bout' stretched all out, while you want her so bad. She then had a miscarriage and a kid, loose pussy hoe. I should hit your ass because you know your tongue be in this pussy everynight when I sneak out of Marcus house, so don't play with me JD." she said as she mushed me in my head. I rolled my eyes and just stayed quiet because I did want some pussy tonight.
I sighed and reached into the glove compartment and pulled out some white girl. This was one thing I had grown to love more than Essence, my white girl. I was addicted and I didn't give a fuck. This kept me sane, barely. I poured some onto my finger and placed it to my nose before sniffing. I coughed and winced as the shit burned, I had just forgot that my shit was broken.
"You're so stupid JD. Did you really think Money would accept your apology? I knew my baby better than that, that's why he beat yo' silly ass." she said and snatched the bag of cocaine out of my hand. I frowned, but it started to fade as I felt the drug work it's way into my system. I snatched my bag back from her and went for more. I paid for this shit, so I get the first high.
"Shut the fuck up and sit the fuck back, that aint your damn baby. He don't even want yo' duck ass, I heard how he was snappin' on you too. You just worry about stayin' on Marcus dick long enough to stay in the family and let me handle mine end, aight? Damn. I'm gone kill that nigga and Ima' get Essence, then you can do you."
"No nigga, I want Money. You kill him and I kill the bitch, she probably gone die anyway because of your weak ass aim. I should have know you would fail, yo' ass can't even pee straight, wack ass dick game. Pull out game on zero." she said cracking jokes and I pushed her ass. She laughed before snatching the bag and doing the same thing I had done while I drove away from the club onto a deserted street.
She passed the bag back and we continued to get high off of the last baggie we had of coke. Hector supplied us, as long as he thought we were going to kill Essence and Money, little did he know we had other plans. I sniffed more coke and then looked over at Danielle. She was a hoe, but she was a sexy ass hoe too. I found myself pulling on her straps until it broke, exposing her big and perky breast. She giggled like a school girl as she finished her set up and climbed across the armrest. You already know what went down after that. Just know, the way she was screaming, I knew my dick game was on point.
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Hope you enjoyed.
Sort of a down chapter, but it had to be done.
Approximately 10 chapters left in this book.
Yay.
Questions ..
1. Has Money really shown Essence how much he appreciates her for the numerous things that she does for him?
2. Is Money wrong for not thinking about Domani or does he get a pass under the circumstances that he's under?
3. So, Danielle has been playing Marcus all along, who called it?
4. Is Money wrong for going to the club while Essence is in the hospital?