I managed to hold it back all night, but I don't know how much longer I can hold it in for. At my hospital appointment last night, the doctors were very disappointed to find out that I went to school yesterday. After hearing about my little incident in the girls bathroom, they have strictly told me that I can't go back.
They've made the decision for me...
I'm quitting college.
But that doesn't mean I will never go back. It's like I'm... Taking a break. That's all.
But it's not over yet. I'm going back in today to talk to the head teacher about it. And I'm going to one more lesson of biology to explain to my teacher why I ran out on his class yesterday.
I still haven't told ben, and I don't know when I'm going to. I'm worried about his reaction, but even if he tries to stop me, I'm still leaving. Health comes over boyfriends.
At least that's what Bella told me after our chat last night.
It's great to have a friend like her, so every time I go to the hospital I have something to look forward to.
Unfortunately, we got on to the concept of Sadie. She's not doing so good, so I'm going to visit her the next chance I get.
But my biggest priority is getting to school and explain what's going on.
I arrive just outside of the school, and ben is waiting for me again.
"Hey, so you decided to come back?"
"For today"
"Darcy don't do this."
"Just let me do what I want to do. I've made a decision and no one is going to change my mind."
"Can I try to change your-"
"No. Ben. Let's just go inside and get on with the day."
We walk in with a small distance between us, not looking each other in the eyes, like we have never even met.
We walk down the corridor and towards the assembly hall, but I trail off to the left where the headteachers office is. Ben doesn't even question my disappearance. He just Let's me go.
As I'm walking passed the students no one even looks at me, or acknowledges me. It's almost like nothing even happened yesterday.
I decided to wear a brown wig today, so that hopefully no one would recognise me after what happened yesterday.
So far... It's working.
I finally make it to his office and gently tap my shaky knuckles on his door.
"Yes, please come in." He points towards a large seat in front of him and I nervously sit down. "So, Darcy is it?"
"Yes"
"You came to talk to me about an incident that happened yesterday right?"
"We'll sort of."
"Explain!"
He sits there with his hands linked together and his eyes are firmly locked with mine. But I keep my head facing the ground as I speak.
"Well... There's something going on that I probably should have told you, but didn't. See, yesterday I got called a lot of nicknames because my hair was wet. And this was because-"
I explain the whole incident that happened in the girls toilets to him.
"So why were you throwing up? Is there an explanation? Or was it just because you were nervous because it's the first day of collage."
"No. I have a condition, that causes me to be very ill."
"And what's this condition? Is it something that we should be concerned about?"
"Yes. And I really regret not telling you before. I have something called acute lymphocytic leukaemia." He sits, staring at me blankly. "And if you don't know what that is... It's a form of cancer. Yes, I have Cancer."
It takes him a while to reply. I understand it's hard to reply to a kid who's just told you they have Cancer. So I speak up. "But it's okay. You don't have to be all sympathetic with me. I've had it a little while now, and i think I've received all the sympathy one can get."
"Well...I er... I'm sorry to hear about that."What did I just say? No sympathy. "But... Well I don't really know what to say?"
"All I'm here for, is to tell you that I've been advised by the doctors that I should probably stop with education until I'm fully cured.... Basically, I have to leave college."
"Okay well... I don't see that as a problem. You do whatever you have to do to stay healthy, good luck with the whole... Er.... Cancer... Situation. And I hope to see you again in the near future."
I'm guessing that was a sign to leave.
As soon as I mentioned I had Cancer, he started acting really awkward with me. But so does everyone I guess. Their whole perception of you changes. You go from being an average human being, to the sick kid that everyone feels sorry for. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being sick.
--
My next stop is biology. I need to apologise to the teacher for walking out and never coming back yesterday.
As I walk in through the oddly squeaky doors, everyone stops what they're doing and stares at me.
"Hi. Can I help?" Speaks Mr.bowler.
"Yes, I'm Darcy, the girl who ran out on your lesson yesterday."
"Oh... Hello Darcy. Well I'd like to have a chat outside with you please."
I nod and everyones eyes follow us as we awkwardly walk out the room.
"So Darcy, do you have anything to say to me?" The tone in his voice tells me that he's sincerely angry with me. But I try not to freak out and answer as best as possible.
"Yes, I'd like to apologise for leaving and not coming back, but I have good reasons for it."
"What excuse could possibly be good enough for ditching a lesson on your first day?"
His cold stare causes my voice to be shaky, but once I get into it, I'm fine.
As I explain to him the whole situation, his reaction starts to seem exactly like the headteachers reaction.
His daunting glare, turned into a more sympathetic, pouty look.
By the time I've finished he's practically on his knees. His eyes are now level with mine so I no longer have to look up.
"Well that's alright then Darcy. I'm sorry to hear about this, and I hope my lesson yesterday didn't offend you in any way."
"No that's okay. I know about my disease, and it has killed many close family members. But I don't let that affect me. Like you said in the lesson yesterday, Cancer can be cured. So thanks for the hope and support."
"Well that's alright. You get home now, and I hope to see you again in the near future."
He says practically the same thing as the headteacher. They both say it as more of a question than a statement.
Like, it's still a question whether I will have a future. Rather than it being a true statement.
Being diagnosed with cancer isn't like getting a death sentence. Even if at the time it feels like it. There is a cure, and now more people are surviving cancer than are dying from it. So I still have hope.
The last thing I need to do is tell Ben.
But I don't know if I can deal with that at the moment.
I'm overloaded with stuff that I can't handle at the moment. And ben just adds to it all.
I start walking out the school and towards my mums car, until I hear someone shouting my name.
"Darcy. Darcy wait up!"
I turn around and unexpectedly see ben literally sprinting towards me.
"What are you doing? Are you about to leave?" He shouts.
"What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be in lesson?"
"No, I have a free period but that doesn't matter. Are you leaving?"
"Yes ben I am. Do you have a problem with that?"
"Well... To be honest... Yes. Yes I do. "
"And what could that possibly be?"
"Look Darcy, I'm not trying to keep you in school, because I know how sick you are. Im just trying to make the best decision for you."
"THE BEST DECISION" I scream. "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW THE BEST DECISION FOR ME, WHEN ALL YOUVE DONE LATELY IS MAKING THE WRONG ONES."
"Yes Darcy, there's no way your going to be able to stay home everyday doing nothing. It's not healthy, and you may become depressed."
"Not healthy. NOT HEALTHY. LIVING ON THIS EARTH WITH A FATAL DISEASE ISNT HEALTHY. It's not my choice whether I'm healthy or not, it's no ones choice. It just happens, and it's out of our control. Just like school, it's not my choice whether I go or not. It's natures choice, it's the doctors choice."
"See that's where your wrong Darcy. I understand that it wasn't your choice to get Cancer. But it is your choice whether to go to school or not."
"NO ITS NOT. The Cancer chooses whether I go to school or not. And why do you care so much anyway?"
"Well... I've told everyone that I have a girlfriend but if she never shows up then they will think I'm lying."
"What?" My eyes begin to fill up with tears. Maybe I've got him all wrong.
"Are you just with me to make you look good. Your the sweet boy who's being nice to the innocent girl who has Cancer. Is it just for the popularity?"
"No Darcy, it's nothing like that."
"Are you sure? Cos it sure sounded like it."
"Darcy just listen-"
"No... I've heard enough. I can't take this anymore, I'm leaving and no one can stop me. Sorry your sick girlfriend isn't going to be here anymore to make you more popular."
I'm about to leave until someone walks up next to him. It takes a few seconds but I finally realise that it's the boy who took my wig off yesterday.
He shakes Ben's hand then says "hey mate, so who's the Hotty?"
"Ben. Who is this? and why did he call you his mate?"
"This is Dylan, and he's one of my closest mates here."
"Dylan's the one WHO HUMILIATED ME YESTERDAY INFRONT OF EVERYONE."
"I don't remember doing anything like that, I don't think I've ever seen you before." Speaks Dylan.
"Do you recognise me now?" I take off my wig and revels my bald head. "Yeah. I'm more familiar now aren't I?"
" oh yeah... About yesterday.... I didn't know that you had-"
"Save it. I've heard enough. Bye Dylan, and bye... Whatever your name is."
I say that to ben because I don't even recognise him anymore, he's not the same person he used to be when we first got together. I don't know him, and I don't want to know him.
Maybe it's time to just deal with my health, and stop worrying about my love life.
Me and ben may get back together, but for the moment I'd say It's pretty much over.
Authors note:
Ooh, a twist!
I'm so excited to share this story with you guys, and I really appreciate how many views and votes it's getting.
So carry on reading and voting as there is a lot more to come,
I am on holiday at the moment so I won't be updating as often, but be patient because I have many more things planned.