Summary/Prompt: Zayn comes home drunk. Zayn rapes Liam. Seeing the bruises on Liam, Zayn decides to change his ways.
By: 1dfanficrealness.tumblr.com
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“Damn mate, I knew you could drink but you’re ridiculous.” Josh offered to him with a slurred smile as he opened his wallet and put a pile of pound notes on the bar and asked for Jose Cuervo.
“That’s what happens man. Zayn Malik knows how to drink and I’m a pro at it.” He slurred with a smile and brought his arm around Niall’s shoulders.
“Oh please, the only person that can out drink you is me mate and you know it. No wee Englishmen is ever going to beat an Irish bloke when it comes to pinnies and shots and don’t even try to challenge me.” Niall raised an eyebrow.
“You’re on Horan.” Zayn grabbed the tequila shots and handed one to Josh and the other to Niall. They clinked their glasses and downed them easily. The amount of alcohol coursing through their systems left them numb to the awful taste of tequila.
“Don’t you have a doting boyfriend who is probably waiting for you right now? I don’t think he’d appreciate you having liver failure due to my account mate.” Niall asked him and some of the tequila fell from his chin to stain his white t-shirt.
“Liam’s fine. He knows where I am.” Zayn took off his leather coat because the liquor was making him hot and he stretched back letting his thin black t-shirt breathe in the stuffy room.
“Alright then, bartender, we’ve got a challenger here for the Horan vessel of booze.” Josh slapped the bar bringing over the man who smiled knowingly at Niall and how no one could beat him.
The shots were poured and Josh cheered them both on as one after another was downed. Niall looked like he hadn’t had anything to drink other than the fact that his cheeks were red and hair was slightly damp with sweat.
Zayn was a bit worse for wear. The room was definitely spinning now and he still had three more to do to catch up with Niall. The blond pushed the liquor under his nose and that was all it took to send him over the edge and nearly falling off the barstool running to the bathroom.
He just barely made it into one of the stalls and proceeded to regurgitate at least one hundred pounds worth of alcohol. The acid and liquor burned his throat and death moans escaped his lips. He coughed and spluttered into the bowl and his head felt a bit better but his stomach sure didn’t.
“Told you mate, never go against me with this kinda shit.” Niall rubbed his back soothingly and winningly as well. No one goes against Niall Horan with drinking and wins.
“Ugh, I wanna go home.” He moaned out.
“Alright, Josh call a cab. I’m over this anyway.
The three soon piled into the taxi that took off into the night.
XXXX
Another night out with the boys and here was Liam sitting alone. Again.
He knew Zayn liked to party and get his drink on but it was becoming more and more often that his boyfriend of three years and madly in love with would go out almost every night to get trashed with Niall and Josh and come home extremely drunk and extremely annoying.
Liam loved Zayn with all his heart but sometimes it was hard to love someone and watch them drink themselves into a stupor so often. He knew Zayn loved him too, when Zayn was sober-which was a rarity nowadays-he was what you could call the perfect boyfriend. He was sweet, attentive, affectionate and always thought of Liam first.
But when Niall and Josh would call he’d leave Liam with a quick smooch and be out the door telling him to not wait up. Didn’t matter how many times he was told Liam couldn’t just go to bed alone and wonder and worry what Zayn was doing. He didn’t worry about him cheating on him at all because Zayn wasn’t a cheater. He had the means to-if you saw him you’d understand, he was a god on earth-but he was loyal and in love with Liam.
What did worry him was that one night he may not come home. That he would get behind the wheel of a car and end up dead on the road. Or he’d be rushed to the hospital and he wouldn’t know until it was too late and somehow Zayn died because of alcohol poisoning. Just something. That’s why Liam would sacrifice his nerves and sleep. Because he loved him.
It was nearing two in the morning and Zayn still wasn’t home. Usually he’d be back a little past midnight on most nights since he did have work the next day, he worked evening shifts at the office so he could at least sleep off most of his drunken haze. Liam wasn’t so lucky. He had to get up early and take the tube to the University so he could work in the admissions office.
He’d sacrifice his sleep or anything for Zayn just to make sure he was alright.
Speaking of the devil.
Zayn came in stumbling with Niall holding him up on one side and he shouted, “LIAM! HI BABY!” With a stupid grin on his face.
Even though Liam hated seeing his boyfriend like this he couldn’t stay mad with that face. He couldn’t really do anything. He was putty in Zayn’s hands.
“Niall, what did you do to him?” Liam chastised him as he pulled Zayn into his arms and the dark haired man nuzzled into his neck. He started kissing and nibbling on his throat and Liam cringed feeling how sloppy it felt and not to mention he smelled like liquor and sick.
“He tried to challenge me to a drinking contest. Irish always wins.” Niall winked and slurred out.
“Niall! Why would you even let him do that? You know he can’t handle it.” Liam was almost begging now. Zayn could die if he dared try to keep up with Niall. How that skinny little prat could hold so much liquor and still be coherent was a mystery.
“S’alright Li, he puked it up before we left. Have fun!” He waved and left the two standing near the door. Zayn was palming Liam through his pants and even though it did feel good, Liam didn’t want it. He didn’t want Zayn like this.
Yes, Zayn was beautiful and Liam thanked the stars he got someone so externally gorgeous. But he was also internally gorgeous as well, minus the alcohol.
“M’so horny baby.” Zayn tried to be seductive but failed miserably. Liam was getting hard but that’s just because you touch a guy’s dick and it gets hard. Fact of life.
“Zayn love, you’re drunk and you smell. Go brush your teeth and go to bed. Come on.” Liam lifted his arm over his shoulder and led him into their bathroom. He put toothpaste on the toothbrush and handed it to Zayn. He lazily brushed the taste of liquor and vomit from his mouth and smiled at Liam who returned it and the man helped his very inebriated companion out of his boots and jeans and into the bed.
Zayn seemed to be asleep already by the time Liam had placed his heavy boots and jeans near the chair in their room and he shook his head seeing Zayn sprawled on top of the covers. He removed his clothes only leaving his boxers on and sunk under the covers. He placed a light kiss to his lips and turned over finally ready to sleep. Great, he could only get maybe four hours before he had to be up.
He shut his eyes and drifted off slowly but then felt Zayn moving behind him. Then the blankets moved and he felt Zayn’s presence behind him and an arm wrap around his waist with a hand inching towards his groin. Zayn was kissing and nibbling on Liam’s broad shoulder and slipped under the waistband of his boxers.
“Come on baby, I’m tired and I have to be up soon. We can fool around later.” Liam grumbled out. The idea of sex or anything with Zayn was always tempting-look at the son of a bitch-but right now he was just tired and not in the mood. Drunken sloppy Zayn was not attractive at all.
“M’horny Li.” He enunciated his claim with pressing his prominent hard on into Liam’s bum. He began rutting against it letting the fabric rub over his cock getting him to moan and breath heavy behind a less than interested Liam.
“Then have a wank.” Liam closed his eyes but they shot open when Zayn was pulling both their boxers off and began to pump Liam’s shaft. His cock betrayed him and began to stiffen. Traitor.
“Want you now.” Zayn growled out and pushed Liam to his front and straddled him down.
“Zayn come on. Get off me.” Liam struggled slightly. He was stronger than Zayn but Zayn was the type of person where if he wanted something nothing would stop him and in such a strange position he couldn’t really do much.
Then he heard Zayn spit and felt warm saliva fall in between his cheeks then Zayn’s tip was brushing it up and down and nudging his pink hole. Zayn was big. Eight inches long with no foreskin and his cock was thicker near the tip. Zayn kept pressing into Liam as the man tried to move but he couldn’t. Zayn had one hand holding down Liam’s arm and it fucking hurt. The other hand was holding on to the base of his cock and he slammed his hips forward and breached Liam.
“AH FUCK! ZAYN!” Liam cried out but it was slightly muffled with the cotton of the pillow filling his mouth. He wasn’t prepped at all so to take something that thick inside you was excruciating. The normal nice burn wasn’t so nice anymore. It stung and made him clench. He clenched hard around Zayn’s cock that was slamming into his body at an alarming rate.
The man on top was slamming his cock into Liam’s velvety heat that was a bit drier than he’d prefer but it was still so good. The intensity of taut muscle and clamping ferocity was just what he wanted. He slammed his hips harder into Liam’s ass making the cheeks jiggle and bounce. He watched as Liam’s head was thrashing back and forth and his back muscles flexed and tried to arch. He brought his other hand down to mimic his other and held both of Liam’s arms down in a vice grip. The blood, lust and alcohol flooded his ears so he couldn’t hear what his boyfriend was screaming. To him it sounded like he was enjoying it.
“Zayn! OW! Fuck pl-please stop! It hurts! STOP!” Liam cried out as the burning rip inside him was painful and growing with each snap of the hips into his ass. His arms felt like they were restrained by chains with how hard they were gripped and he hissed in pain when Zayn leaned forward and bit into his back and struck blood. He had sharp teeth that could pierce skin rather easily. He’d never seen Zayn like this-well he couldn’t really see him-but he was never this forceful. Ever.
“Take my cock you little slut.” Zayn muttered out with ferocity as he kept slamming his cock deep into Liam’s clenching hole. He licked the wound making Liam hiss in pain again with the sting of open bite and blood pouring out. He kept holding him down and pounding into his hole and felt that coil of heat warm in his stomach.
Liam started crying, “Pl-please Zayn. Just st-stop.” He whimpered out. It was too low for Zayn to hear and Liam bit his lip feeling like his insides were being beaten into submission and his arms ached from being pushed down and starting to bend backwards in their sockets. He just wanted it to end. His cock was soft and flaccid pressed into the mattress even though his prostate was being bombarded with pressure it just didn’t feel good. It wasn’t Zayn.
“Oh fuck! Gonna cum!” Zayn groaned out and his hips jerked into Liam and he pulled all the way out till the tip and slammed back in getting Liam to whimper into the pillow. His cock spurted and dumped a heavy load of cum into Liam’s abused and sore passageway. Liam felt hot salty liquid pump into him and he winced in pain at the sting of not only that but Zayn’s cock throbbed inside pushing his already tender walls farther.
Zayn collapsed on top of him breathing heavy and sweating as Liam silently cried and trembled beneath him. He loosened his grip on Liam’s biceps and rolled over slipping out of the wet sticky heat. Liam arched in pain and his hole fluttered and clenched repeatedly. He looked over to see Zayn breathing heavy with his eyes shut and he didn’t move. Just watched as his boyfriend, the one who loved him, quickly fell asleep and became peaceful.
He slowly moved from the bed, the pain in his ass was astronomical, and he cried and whimpered and limped into the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw the massive bruises on his arms that were shaped like hands and fingers across his tannish skin. Then he turned seeing the red of blood running down his back and a bite mark near his shoulder. He also noticed other bruises and bite marks into his back that he didn’t even realize happen.
He looked down and saw that something light pink was draining down his thigh, he grabbed some toilet paper and gingerly wiped between his cheeks. The sting of it made him curse in the empty bathroom and he pulled back to see it was Zayn’s cum. And also his blood.
He stayed crying with wet eyes and puffy cheeks as he turned on the shower. This was the most painful shower he’d ever had. Even worse than when he fell off his bike and got major bad road rash and had to pick gravel from his skin. He let the water run down his back and he continued his small hiccups and crying and damn near screamed when he had to separate his cheeks and let the hot water rinse off his tortured hole.
He watched as pink water ran down the drain and didn’t dare touch his hole but splash some water near it to hopefully clean it out to the best of his abilities. After twenty minutes he couldn’t take it and carefully toweled himself off letting his short dark hair stick to his forehead.
He walked back into the bedroom seeing Zayn exactly as he was before with his boxers down below his balls and cum drying on his now soft cock. He wanted to hit him. But he couldn’t. He loved Zayn too much to hurt him. But what had just happened deserved a hit or two at least. Liam couldn’t do it.
He got dressed and saw that it was nearing four in the morning and knew for a fact there was no way in hell he’d go to work today. Not after…that. He didn’t want to call it what it was but one word kept popping into his head.
Rape.
He had said no. Told him to stop. Pleaded with him.
But he didn’t. Liam was raped by his boyfriend.
That thought sent him into more tears and he scrambled for his phone. He grabbed his bag wearing loose fitting sweat pants and a hoodie and slipped on his shoes dialing a number.
“Hello?” Came a very groggy and tired voice. It was thick and riddled with sleep.
“Ha-Harry?” Liam cried a bit more as he closed the door to their apartment and made his walk down to his car. Harry and Louis were his only other friends beside Niall and Josh and he needed someone right now.
“Who’s it?” He heard Louis grumble on the other side of the phone.
“It’s Liam. What’s wrong? Are you alright?” Harry seemed to wake up a bit more. One of his best mates was calling him and crying this early in the morning and that was nothing to be ignored.
“Can-can I come over pl-please?” He stuttered out and was already driving over to where they shared an apartment about twenty minutes away.
“Of course. I’ll have the kettle on.” Then the line went dead.
Liam chucked his phone to the passenger seat and every bump or dip in the road reminded him of what just happened. His bum was so sore and his back hurt and basically everything hurt. Physically, mentally and emotionally.
When he arrived at their door he was pulled into a hug by Harry’s long arms and the man winced and hissed at the pain. The limp gave it away that something was wrong.
Louis was standing there rubbing his eyes and yawning in a pair of tight black boxers while Harry had thankfully thrown on a pair of pants-he knew he liked to sleep naked-and Liam was ushered in with bloodshot eyes and sympathetic glances.
He sat down at the kitchen table and had to hook a leg under his bum so that the hard wood wouldn’t make him start crying again. Didn’t matter, he didn’t really stop crying at all. Tears continued to slip down his face. Louis handed him a mug of tea and Liam drank deeply feeling the hot liquid burn his throat and he was thankful for it, it was a small distraction from how the rest of his body felt.
“What happened?” Harry asked with his deep voice and green eyes filled with concern.
Liam broke down and burst into tears and through some incoherent syllables and having to repeat himself more than once, he told Louis and Harry what had happened. He told them how Zayn had come home well beyond drunk and Liam put him to bed. Then he started getting handsy and Liam tried to push him away but then Zayn got forceful and took Liam.
He told them that he didn’t even prep him and just started slamming away and how bad it hurt and he couldn’t breathe cause his face was down in the pillows and how his back was bitten to raw meat and his arms were tender and bruised. Liam told them how he knew Zayn wasn’t trying to hurt him but he didn’t want it and Zayn still took what he wanted and about the pain. Not just the physical pain but also because that wasn’t his Zayn who topped him. That was someone else. His Zayn would never do that.
“And then I checked myself out and um, well there was a lot of blood.” Liam finished and downed his tea. His tears had subsided a bit. Felt good to get it out of you finally.
“Where Liam?” Harry asked him sternly. He looked to see their faces. Harry’s was hard and rigid and his eyes were set on Liam’s face. Louis looked ready to kill. His lips were pursed tight and he had a grip on his mug that could have started to shatter the ceramic.
“Well um, my bum.” Liam was embarrassed to be talking about this but he knew he couldn’t lie now.
“I’m gonna kill him.” Louis pushed away from the table and started pacing in the kitchen. Harry’s eyes never left Liam.
“No! Lou! Don’t please, that wasn’t him. He didn’t mean it.” Liam fought.
“Like hell he didn’t mean. No means no, even in a relationship. I don’t give a good god damn how horny I am, if Harry doesn’t want to then I don’t.” He pointed to Harry who nodded slightly.
“Please, don’t make this a bigger deal than it already is. He was drunk.” Liam whispered out. He had to protect Zayn. Why he didn’t know but he just couldn’t let something happen to him. Even though what happened to him was horrible.
“Drunk is not an excuse Liam. You know that. And we all know how bad his problem with the mickey is.” Harry took Liam’s hand across the table and let his large fingers rub against his knuckles.
“Show me.” Louis stopped and looked at Liam expectantly.
“Show you what?” He looked over confused. If Louis thought Liam was about to bend over and show off his ass to them well, no. Just no.
“Take off your shirt. I want to check you out and get you cleaned up.” Louis stood defiantly. He was not about to let this kind of shit go down..
Liam stood shyly and lifted off his hoodie and both Harry and Louis gasped. The matching bruises to his arms were almost black they were so purple. His chest and stomach were fine but when he turned he heard Louis mutter “Son of a bitch.” and Harry huffed angrily.
Under the light of the kitchen and with time now revealing how very bad it was, it looked like Liam went to war. He had bite marks up and down his back that bruised sickly greens and blues and purples and yellows. The biggest one was near his shoulder and blood had dried in the indentions of teeth marks. His back looked like someone had eaten a bag of Skittles and threw up on him with the mixture of colors of bruises and bite marks.
“It’s not that bad.” Liam shrugged but regretted it feeling the skin of his back move.
“Bollocks. You look like you were jumped Li.” Harry said lowly. He was angry alright but he was trying to be as supportive of Liam as possible. Not make him feel any worse about the situation.
“Come on, you’re going to bed. I’m calling you out of work today and you’re getting as much sleep as I can get you to.” Louis beckoned Liam to follow him to the bathroom and pulled out a bottle of pills, “These are vicodin and they’ll help with the pain. I’m going to clean you up. Don’t want you getting an infection.”
Liam swallowed the two white pills and within minutes his body was a bit more relaxed and he didn’t feel so sore anymore. He leaned against the bathroom counter while Louis stood behind him dabbing his wounds with antiseptic cream. They stayed silent minus the small hisses Liam would administer when a particularly painful mark was touched.
“You know he’s not like this. You know him Lou. I just think…I don’t know. I think he got too drunk and over zealous. Please don’t hate him.” Liam whispered out looking into the mirror.
Louis huffed and rolled his eyes as he continued cleaning Liam’s back, “I don’t hate him Liam. You know I love Zayn, we all do. But this is inexcusable and you know it. You told him to stop and he didn’t and I know Zayn isn’t like this at all. I know he loves you, he’s told me more than once.”
“Thank you.” Liam relaxed hearing that Louis-the feistiest one of the group-wasn’t about to go and kill his boyfriend in his sleep.
“Just, Liam listen to me. We all love Zayn and we love you and the two of you together. But you know he’s got a problem with the drink, you’ve said so yourself many times. It keeps getting worse and I don’t want to think what else could have happened to you tonight. I know you can protect yourself but when it comes to him you can’t, you love him too much. Like I love Harry.” Dabbing more cream onto his back that was now shiny but clean.
Liam followed Louis out into the bedroom where Harry had left a change of clothes for Liam. Louis helped him put on the shirt and switch out of his sweat pants into something light and much more comfortable.
“Alright, I made the couch as comfortable as possible. I didn’t even know we had that many blankets Lou.” Harry came in with his curls wild around his head and a small smile.
“Thanks you guys. Seriously.” Liam shuffled out to the living room seeing the couch look like the bed from The Princess & The Pea with how much padding was on it.
“I just, well I figured…” Harry trailed off motioning to Liam’s body that could use any cushioning available.
“Thanks Harry.” He smiled softly to him and sunk down into the coverings of the couch and it was quite comfortable. He really couldn’t feel anything and even vocalized it.
“That’s the vicodin and my Hazza’s amazing skills of padding things.” Louis informed him and kissed his cheek then walked into the bedroom. Harry walked over and sat in front of Liam on the floor, “Are you alright now? I’ll stay with you if you’d like.”
“No I’m fine, don’t think Lou would appreciate that anyway haha.” Liam slightly chuckled out. Sleep was upon him again and the sky was lightening outside just slightly.
“No I mean, ugh Liam are you okay though? Like with everything that happened? You don’t have to go back you know.”
“I know. I love him Harry and he loves me. Just one drunken mistake that I won’t hold against him.” He twiddled his fingers and spoke lowly.
“I know Li but one drunken mistake could turn into strings of drunken mistakes. Liam I really think he needs help. His drinking has gotten out of control and tonight, I’m sorry, but tonight was the final straw for me. I can’t bear to see something like this happen again and Louis is thirsty for blood now.”
“I know.” Liam felt sleep cutting this conversation short very fast.
“Tomorrow will you talk to him? I hate to see you like this. What with how many times I’ve heard about him getting drunk and doing stupid things and making you worry until you’re crying. Liam, I can’t take it anymore and neither can you or Lou. He needs help.”
“I’ll talk to him. I promise. Sleepy Haz.” Liam slurred out.
“Okay, we’ll be here when you get up.” Harry smiled and liked that Liam smiled back at him with his eyes shut. He placed a soft kiss to his forehead and walked back into his bedroom where Louis was sitting up in the dark.
“Lou?”
“Y-yeah Haz?” He sniffled.
“Are you crying?” He crawled into bed and pulled his boyfriend’s form into him. Yeah, he was crying.
“N-no.” Sniffled again.
“It’s okay. Liam’s alright.”
“But what if he wasn’t? What if something worse had happened? I know Liam’s strong but he wouldn’t fight off Zayn. He loves him too much. Like how I love you.”
“But he’s alright Lou. And he’s talking to Zayn tomorrow. I would hope you’d fight me off if it ever came to it. It won’t but I’m just saying. Hypothetically anyway.” He kissed Louis’ temple with his chest against his back and long arm wrapped around Louis’ tummy.
“I’d try to fight you off but I love you too much. Bastard.”
“You love me.” Harry squeezed him closer and Louis sighed.
“I do.”
XXXX
Zayn awoke to a hangover. Wasn’t as bad at it normally was, he was thankful he threw up then, but still the dull throb in his head wasn’t pleasant. He rolled out of bed and felt absolutely disgusting, his body hurt and his cock was dry with cum and he just felt gross. Then he remembered the sex he had with Liam, how he dominated him and plowed him hard and if he weren’t feeling like death warmed over, he’d have a wank in the shower thinking of it.
He turned on the water and stepped under sighing in relief at the hot steam and liquid cleaning his body and making him feel just a bit more human than he was before. Liam was gone but that was to be expected, he worked early in the morning and usually by the time he was getting home Zayn was halfway through his own shift. Zayn washed himself and made a presentable quaff to his hair then got dressed.
He sent off a text to Liam,
Hey baby, can’t wait to see you tonight. Miss you xo
He left his apartment after eating a quick breakfast and taking some aspirin and he was in tiptop shape to start his workday at the office and then come home to see Liam and have a nice night in. He was thinking take out and some wine or something. Liam didn’t really drink at all, maybe a beer here or there or half a glass of wine but sometimes Zayn could get him to get on his level and it was cute seeing him lose all control and blush constantly.
Today was going to be a good day for Zayn Malik.
XXXX
Liam awoke to a buzzing on the table and realized it was his phone. He definitely didn’t have enough sleep but he was rested enough so he rolled over and winced in pain, the vicodin had worn off, and grabbed the device barring him from slumber. He opened it and read a message from Zayn.
Hey baby, can’t wait to see you tonight. Miss you xo
He closed his phone and last night’s memories came flooding back into his brain. Zayn had forcefully taken him and hurt him more than just his body. He hurt his heart and his mind because the Zayn that plundered and bit Liam wasn’t the Zayn he fell for. No, that Zayn was alcohol fueled and dangerous and terrifying.
“You’re up, come and have some breakie.” Harry called to him from the doorway and Liam then noticed the amazing smell of a greasy breakfast being prepared. He walked in the kitchen and without a single word Louis handed him two more of those pills and smiled at him kissing his cheek.
Liam took them with his orange juice and Harry placed a plate full to the brim with eggs, bacon, sausages and toast in front of him. His stomach grumbled and he began to dig into the tantalizing meal.
“How are you feeling love?” Harry asked him sweetly placing Louis’ plate in front of him and taking a seat across from Liam with a cup of tea and his own food.
“Better actually. Got some sleep and these painkillers are wicked. Can already start to feel the pain go away from my back.” He motioned over his shoulder with his fork and on an empty stomach that vicodin kicked in real fast.
“That’s good then. So, was that Zayn on the phone?”
“Uh yeah, I don’t think he remembers it at all. Said he can’t wait to see me tonight.” Liam shrugged and suddenly he wasn’t so hungry. What if Zayn didn’t remember? What if he just blacked out and basically raped Liam and was none the wiser?
“Well that’s when you bring it up Li. This isn’t something you can just sweep under the rug especially since both of us know about it. He has to know what he did and he has to stop drinking and you know that. It’s gotten worse and god only knows what could happen again.” Louis admonished.
“Yeah, just don’t know how to.” Liam sipped his orange juice.
“You’ll figure it out. Just be calm about it, I know what happened last night was traumatic but keep a level head like I know you can.” Harry patted his hand across the table
Liam nodded and the three finished their breakfasts in silence.
XXXX
Zayn had pep in his step coming home. He had bags of Chinese food, all of Liam’s favorites, and a bottle of wine that was sure to quench both their thirsts tonight. It was nearing six and he knew that Liam should be home by now but was surprised when he wasn’t there. He opened the door to an eerily quite apartment, “Babe?” he called out into the empty area. No response. In fact, he hadn’t heard from Liam all day now.
Usually he’d at least get a text back or a short phone call on his lunch break but today he got nothing. He shrugged it off thinking that maybe Liam was extra busy or something so he poured himself a glass of the deep red wine and set the food into the microwave to keep it relatively warm.
He changed out of his work clothes into a pair of dark jeans and a white shirt and sat watching telly for about a half hour. He kept wondering where in the world Liam was and as he was picking up his phone to call him he heard the key in the door. His eyes lit up and he scrambled off the couch holding his glass in his hand and met Liam at the door.
His face dropped though seeing Liam looking exhausted and wearing the sweats he was wearing last night, “Li? Where’ve you been?”
“I uh, I stayed at Harry and Lou’s place last night.” He walked into the kitchen and saw the bottle of wine on the counter and then noticed Zayn was holding a glass of it. He huffed and his shoulders slouched. Zayn came up behind him and placed his hand to his back making him hiss in pain and move away from the touch.
“What’s wrong babe? Why’d you stay over there last night?” Zayn looked bewildered. He was confused as to why Liam had stayed at their friend’s house instead of his own and it didn’t look like he went to work either.
“You-you don’t remember?” Liam’s resolve was breaking. He had to stay calm and level headed but the fact that Zayn was completely oblivious to last night hurt. It really fucking hurt.
“Well I remember getting way too fucked up with Ni and Josh then I came home and then we had amazing sex-“
“You.” Liam cut him off.
“What?”
“You had amazing sex. I didn’t.”
“I thought you enjoyed it, sounded like you did.” Zayn walked over to pour more wine into his glass. Liam always loved Zayn in bed, why was last night any different?
“No, what you heard was me begging you to stop Zee. It hurt. You-you uh-fuck!” Then the tears came. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t blatantly say to Zayn that he raped him. It was too ugly a word even though it was true.
“What? What did I do Liam?” Zayn put down his glass and reached out to grab Liam but the man flinched and backed up. Liam never did that before.
Liam let out a breath and squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered in pain lifting his hoodie off to just his t-shirt that Louis had let him have. Only the dark bruises on his biceps were visible. Zayn rushed forward, “Liam! What happened to you?!” He looked at both of the enormous black and purple marks on his boyfriend’s biceps. They were in the shapes of hands and fingers and…wait.
“You did this Zee.” He whispered out and his face scrunched in pain as Zayn kept turning his arms over to look at them.
“But I, I couldn’t have…” He trailed off seeing that Liam was in more than just physical pain. This look like it hurt him to even admit that Zayn could do something like that. Then he turned around pulling off his shirt and Zayn almost threw up.
Across Liam’s back were indentions of teeth across his skin and around the multiple marks were ugly yellow-brown-green bruises. His eyes went wide seeing Liam’s back tremble as the man cried and the marks he had left were vivid and angry and mocking him.
“I-I told you to stop. But you-you didn’t. I begged you Zayn but you didn’t stop. It hu-hurt so bad. You ma-made me bleed.” Liam turned around and rubbed his bum and grimaced at the pain that still was prominent inside him.
“Liam I.” Zayn stopped himself. He couldn’t even say the word “sorry” for something like this. He knew that Liam liked it rough sometimes but this was too far. He had been told no and to stop and yet he didn’t. Zayn had…had…raped him.
The thought had him hurling into the sink and the sound of his vomit splattering in the metal echoed around the kitchen. Deep red wine came back out into the metal and he coughed and spluttered like he had done less than 24 hours beforehand.
Liam put his shirt back on and left the kitchen to sit on the bed to figure out what he wanted to do. He loved Zayn and everyone knew it. But he couldn’t stay with him if he didn’t change. He would forgive Zayn for what he did but there was an ultimatum to be given. It was either the booze or him.
Liam hoped Zayn chose him.
After the wretching and sound of running water in the kitchen ceased he waited and soon enough Zayn walked into the room and if he had a tail it would be between his legs. He sat on the edge of the bed but not too close to Liam. He didn’t know what was going to happen if he tried contact with him.
“What happened Li?” He asked quietly but down to his hands.
“You uh, you came home and I got you in bed then you started to kiss my neck and palm me. I told you to stop and take care of yourself but you um, well you pushed me down and I couldn’t breathe cause of the pillow and you held me down and rammed into me. I told you to stop but you didn’t.” Liam’s voice was wavery and wiry and fragile. He hated have to have that memory and hated it even more telling Louis and Harry but telling the person who did it was the worst. The person you were in love with.
“Liam. I’m so sorry. I just-I’m not-you know I’m…” Zayn didn’t know what to say.
“I know Zee, that’s why I didn’t let Louis or Harry come over here and kill you in your sleep or anything. I didn’t call the police either. I know that wasn’t my Zayn doing that. That was something horrible and you’re not horrible.”
Zayn started to cry a little bit. He had actually forced himself onto someone and this wasn’t just someone he met at a bar or some shit, no this was his boyfriend, the man he was in love with and had been since six months being together. He felt dirty, like he clipped the wings of an angel or something.
“Zayn, I’m sorry but I have to do this to you.” Liam whispered out.
Oh shit. Here it comes. Liam’s going to leave. Zayn will be left all alone with his guilt and shame and nothing left. Liam was his entire world and it seemed that one night where the sauce had overpowered him got that world to vanish.
“Okay. I’ll leave.” Zayn stood up.
“No.” Liam’s voice rose up. Zayn sat back down and eyed him skeptically.
“Zayn I’ve been worried about your drinking for a long time now and so have quite a few other people. Zayn I think you need help. You’re only 28 and you’re drinking yourself to death and I’m scared. I don’t want to lose you. I know that, “ he gulped, “what happened last night was because of the booze, that wasn’t you, but I can’t stay with you if you continue this.”
“As much as this is killing me because you know I love you more than the air in my lungs, if you don’t quit the drinking and partying, I have to leave. Please, give me my Zayn back. The man I fell in love with so long ago.”
Zayn burst into tears and crumpled to the floor. He had known his drinking was getting to the brink of a problem and they say once you hit rock bottom you know it. He didn’t just hit rock bottom, he fucking careened into it going a hundred miles an hour. He had hurt the one person he was supposed to protect. He knew his choice.
He crawled over with tears running down his cheeks and the ugliest crying expression on his face, “Liam I’m so sorry. I’ll get better I promise! Please don’t leave me! I love-love you so much and I’m so so-sorry for what I did. I never want to hurt you. I want to be-be the man you fell in love with because you-you’ve never stopped being the one I fell for. Please Liam, please forgive me! I didn’t mean to do th-that!” And he wailed into Liam’s lap.
Liam brushed his hand through dark locks of hair and shushed him quiet all the while trying to get his own emotions under control, “I forgive you Zayn. I couldn’t not forgive you. Now come on, you have to get better.” Liam helped Zayn stand up and brought their lips together. Zayn cupped Liam’s cheek and let his other hand hang limply on the other side because he was scared to hurt him by the simplest of touch. Liam wrapped his strong arms around Zayn’s shaking frame and slipped his tongue into his mouth and brought Zayn’s other arm around his lower back where it didn’t hurt as bad and stayed with their lip lock.
He would give Zayn a chance.
Zayn would take that chance.
After the two smiled and cried and spoke more about what happened next Liam brought Zayn into the kitchen and had him pour the wine down the sink and toss the bottle.
“Never again.” Zayn declared and Liam rewarded him with a kiss.
XXXX
Three months in rehab and Zayn was finally free to go home. He missed home badly but he didn’t miss anything more than Liam that was for sure. It took a lot of counseling and a bit of anger to get him through the weeks in treatment. He talked about his life and family and of course Liam to his therapist and had made some real progress in just saying no to the sauce.
Liam was waiting for him in the parking lot of the clinic where he’d been for way too long, “Hey handsome, need a ride?”
“Come here you!” Zayn started to run and crashed into Liam and kissed him fiercely. Only getting phone calls and letters wasn’t enough to replace the feeling of Liam there. Warm, solid, familiar and still there.
“I missed you.” Liam whispered resting their foreheads together.
“I missed you too. I missed myself as well.” Zayn recounted. It felt good to be sober. He felt clean and looked better and it was so nice waking up every morning without a pounding headache and your mouth tasting like a prostitutes toe jam.
“Glad you’re back Zee.” He kissed him again and they climbed in the car.
Walking back into the threshold he was met with Louis, Niall, Harry and Josh all yelling “SURPRISE!” with a banner that said “Welcome Home Zayn” across it. The four men took their turns giving him hugs and congratulating him on his recovery and success.
There was a crack from somewhere in the kitchen that sounded way too recognizable and heads snapped over to see Niall walking out with a can of beer. He looked around taking a gulp, “What?”
“Niall! Seriously he just got out of rehab and you want to drink booze in front of him?!” Louis hollered at him.
“No no it’s fine. I can handle it. Just cause I can’t drink anymore doesn’t mean anyone else shouldn’t. You’re cool mate.” Zayn shrugged to him and everyone visibly relaxed. Especially Liam who wound their fingers together and led them into the bedroom where Liam tossed his bags somewhere randomly and shut the door.
He pushed Zayn down onto the bed and climbed on top of him and attacked his mouth with his and moaned into it, “Missed you baby.” He growled out and ground his hips into Zayn’s.
“Missed you too. Are you-I mean are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” Zayn pulled away and looked up into Liam’s eyes. That memory and confession of that night haunted him since he’d left.
“Later tonight yeah. I forgive you Zayn cause that wasn’t you. That was the alcohol. My Zayn is back. The man I fell in love with is back.” He smiled and brought their lips together then climbed off Zayn and held out his hand. Zayn took it and stood up but as Liam was turning away Zayn pulled him back in and left a chaste lingering kiss to his lips.
“He is back and he isn’t going anywhere.” Zayn promised him then smiled as they walked back into the welcome home party.
Zayn never touched a drink again.
Zayn never did break his promise.