Summary: Liam thinks maybe Zayn is embarrassed of him, Zayn thinks Liam should wear his varsity jacket
By: Tothemoonmydear.archiveofourown.org
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Liam doesn’t exactly mind spending his lunches in the library, he has lots of homework he could get ahead on or tests he could study for. He doesn’t even mind being alone, he has always been fairly solitary. Not so much because he doesn’t enjoy company but just because he has never been the best at making friends. He is too quiet and too hesitant and not outgoing enough to attract attention and even when someone finally addressed him he had always preferred to listen as opposed to being the one to lead the conversation.
Liam thinks maybe thats why he and Zayn are so good together, because Zayn is so deep and he can go on for ages and Liam never ever tires of listening. Liam knows thats why Zayn like him, because Zayn’s football buddies dont care about the philisophical things that Zayn almost constantly has rushing through his mind. They just want Zayn to laugh along with them, catch the ball when its passed, and dick around with them. But Zayn is the farthest thing from vapid and he has so many thoughts and so much to say. So Liam listens, gladly, and Zayn talks, and it works.
Liam smiles a little at the thought of Zayn, they had spent first period tucked into the back corner of their English class. He had let Zayn doodle on his arm and his skin is now laced with blue ink in some nonsensical design that means something to Zayn that Liam hasn’t quite been able to decipher. They had talked in hushed voices and giggled into each others shoulders and shared a couple kisses when the teacher was facing the board. Liam loves first period english with Zayn.
But he and Zayn have different classes for second period and then Zayn goes off with his football friends to be loud and obnoxious in the cafeteria like a football team should. Liam knows he doesnt fit in there so he’s never asked to come along. Instead he escapes to the library to nibble on his sandwich and read or do school work. He tries valiantly to ignore the niggling feeling in his stomach.
It is something like lonliness but he doesnt ache for company, he just kind of aches for Zayn and his serious thoughts but bright eyes. For his smooth words but cheeky grin. And maybe, just maybe, it kind of hurts Liam’s feelings a little bit that Zayn has never introduced Liam to his friends or tried to bring him along for lunch. They’ve been together almost four months, spending almost every minute after school together when Zayn doesnt have football practice and when Zayn has games Liam is always there, cheering from the bleachers even if Zayn doesnt have much time to say hi before he’s rushed off for drinks with his friends after the game.
When they’re together everything is amazing and Liam never ever doubts Zayn. The soft kisses and gentle touches and whispered terms of endearment show Liam that Zayn cares about him. Its only when they’re seperate that Liam wonders if maybe Zayn is a little bit embarassed of him. Liam wouldnt blame Zayn, after all he is a little shy and maybe slightly nerdy and they are a bit of an odd pair on the outside, Zayn being a star football player and a definite jock. People dont see how perfectly they fit together, how well their personalities mesh, but of course they dont see it because Zayn and Liam arent really seen together.So maybe Liam wonders a little if he might be Zayn’s secret. He maybe wonders a bit if Zayn doesnt want his friends to know about him. And that kind of hurts.
Liam definitely doesnt plan on saying anything though, because he doesnt like conflict and he definitely wouldnt want conflict with Zayn. He figures he’s lucky enough that Zayn pays him any mind to begin with. He figures he should be happy enough that he knows Zayn is his, even if nobody else does. So he isnt going to say anything.
Except then, about half an hour before the end of lunch bell rings Zayn comes to find him. He does that sometimes if his football friends are being too obnoxious or if he just had a brilliant idea that he just cant wait to share with Liam. Except this time Liam doesnt grin up at Zayn with his big puppy dog eyes and look excited to see him. Liam tries not to look sad or let his face betray his worries but he’s never been the best actor.
