The day has gotten darker and chillier as I turn the corner, wrapping my jacket tighter around my body.
Maybe I should've gotten a warmer jacket?
The trees blow in the small breeze as I walk through the almost misty sidewalk. The sun's still out, setting in the far west, illuminating a bright orange light to my path while the mist is only behind me. I let the remaining sun lead me towards the park. I turn the corner once more and enter the gates of the park. It's a park right by my school, a usual meet out place for teenage students to go to. There are round table benches where my friends and I usually meet and the playground is right behind those benches.
I spot Alexandra's brown curly hair waving in the wind and I see Tom cozying up next to her, rubbing his gloved hands together. I see he's prepared for the cold autumn breeze. I wave to them as they spot me. Entering further into the park, I walk toward the bench, sitting across the two of them. Alex wears a brown fancy coat with light brown puffs at the ends of her sleeves.
"Hey," I say.
"Hey," Alex says in a deep voice and then explodes in a bunch of giggles. I giggle along with her.
As the giggles dim, I shiver as the cold air hits me once more. I look down at my hands trying to rub them together to make some sort of warmth.
"I see you're cold," Tom observes and I look up at him.
His mouth curves up in a fast smile and then his lips curl back down.
"I told you it would be chilly," he states, turning his head as he looks at his surroundings. Nodding at the trees around him as if agreeing with his own statement,"Yep, it's getting wayyy chilly," he says, and the trees suddenly feel like they're closing in on me and the sun disappears for a moment. I feel stupid for not bringing a warmer jacket along with me. But then the feeling leaves as Alex begins her childish spits of laughter once more.
"Oh my god, Tommm, you're so serious." she laughs, her eyes are closed as she wacks Tom's arm.
Tom smirks slightly at her touch and shakes his head.
"Well, I am being serious. It. is. cold," he says again but in a more playful mood.
I just watch them as they go back and forth in a... I wanna say... flirtatious matter? I've never seen him act so cool, almost smug.
He shrugs and pushes his shoulder against her's.
His black hair blows in the wind as he does so, his smile brightening as Alex continues this game of bumping shoulders, and they play some sort of competition to push each other off the bench.
I watch warily at the two of them, but mostly at Tom. I'm used to Alex acting giddy and ridiculous but not... Tom.
I observe him and suddenly I'm more intrigued by him.
His cheeks turns up on his pale skin, trying to hide his smile with a smirk. He wears a warm black leather coat. Damn, what is it and leather?
He doesn't wear it like the usual cool boys, but he could easily be considered as one if you didn't know him. He has a small red scarf wrapped around his neck too. I suddenly feel warm as I just awe at his features, I never knew he was this handsome, some might even say... beautiful.
The remaining sunlight hits his face as he laughs out load, I don't hear it though. I hear the rustle of leaves and the sun's heat taking over me and I suddenly hear a song in my heart.
I sigh, leaning my elbow on the table, my head sinking in my hand.
I smile lightly and then I look to what Tom is laughing about and I notice Alexandra once more. Her beautiful light brown face shining in the orange sunlight as she laughs, her body continuing to bump into Tom's and I notice Tom once more. Them. together. The full picture of what's happening and everything suddenly goes dark and the light around the park vanishes as it grows cold.
Is this how they act around each other?
And, How come I'm just noticing it now?
And then it comes to me, I'm jealous.
I feel an uninviting heat travel towards my cheeks as the thought sinks in. I watch the two and I suddenly want them to stop, I want this feeling to go away.
Why am I jealous?
I look away from the two, all of a sudden feeling self conscious at my thoughts and I feel ashamed.
Why am I feeling this way?
Why do I care?
I don't want to care!
Trying to distract myself, I look around me, a purple light sparking in the environment and I believe the sun is setting soon as I look at the trees growing dark from the lack of sunlight.
Am I seeing things?
I look back at my two friends, and the anger comes back at me but it seems like their banter has ended. Alex's attention has moved elsewhere as she looks beyond me. Her green eyes brighten in excitement as I hear her squeak out a word. I don't know what word though, I'm still in a faze trying to let reality settle back in me.
She waves at something. I begin to grow frustrated. What is she waving at?
I turn around harshly, ready to seize whatever she's waving at.
My senses come back and my confusion disappears as I see Sally's silhouette, her body shining as the sun hits her outline. She wears a tight jacket over a brown sweater and black tight pants, she looks like what a modern angel would look like.
I smile and everything from before goes away.
"Hey," Sally says, her face open in excitement.
Without thinking, I jump up and meet her with an embrace.
She seems surprised at the sudden contact but she doesn't show it as she hugs right back.
I smile.
We all scooch onto the round table's benches, adjusting to our new comer.
"How are you," Alex asks, her voice squeaky in wonder as if nervous to find out. Her eyes look worried to see what will happen next.
Why is she worried?
"So, ... How are you two," she begins with yet another question, her voice going high at the end, testing her limits with the topic.
Oh, this is why she's worried.
I look at Sally beside me, eyeing her but she doesn't look back.
"What do you mean," Sally asks, leaning her elbows on the table, getting closer to Alex.
I look away from Sally's side and catch Alex's gaze, I give her a smile, as if reassuring her that Sally and I are good.
Alex smiles quickly bouncing out of her worried position and she sits up straight again.
"Nothing," she yells in excitement, her eyes squeezing shut for a moment. She reopens her eyes,"I was wondering if we could like... ALL OF US GO TO MY HOUSE !!! FOR A SLEEPOVER," she says so loudly it echoes through the empty neighborhood.
I laugh instantly at her bizarre behavior.
Sally looks at me, as if realizing I'm next to her. She looks at me as if capturing my laugh for a photo or a memory, looking me in the eyes as if asking if we're okay and then she begins to laugh along.
~~~~~~~~~
It's been about thirty minutes of us all just talking to each other, laughing and making plans for the weekend.
The sun still not set, but the small houses that litter the street cover most of our view from the sun, so a shadow falls onto out area.
Talking about random things, it's like old times, but better. I'm not holding back on my feelings and my little comments, so I'm not just the badass of the group that secretly judges everyone and creates the tension but I'm the one who continues the conversations with a laugh as if I'm the glue of the group.
"Alright, let's play tag," Alex says out of nowhere, jumping out of her seat and tapping Sally's shoulder.
Sally gasps.
"Oh, no you don't," she says, playing along as she gets off her seat and then reaches over to Tom, tapping him out of his thoughts.
"Huh," he says, his head bobbing up from his lied out position on the table.
He looks up at Sally in confusion as he notices her standing.
"YOU'RE IT!"Alex pipes in excitement, jumping up and down in her spot.
Tom looks up at her in confusion.
He looks at me, makes a confused face and I just shrug.
He looks back at Alex and then back at me and his smile shows in his face, his tired state gone as he starts to look mischievous.
"What are you doing," I ask, inching back from my seated position.
His smile deepens as he gets up slowly.
"Oh come on Tom! Just tag her," Sally pipes.
Tom looks at her and then back at me, I jump out of my seat, getting ready.
He gives me one last look before sprinting towards me.
I yelp as I begin to run, jumping over the benches and running around the small table.
Damn, he's fast, he's almost right at my tail.
I continue screeching as he almost reaches me, continuing to run around the round table.
Sally and Alex begin to run along side me, I see our three body shadows hovering over the cement pavement as we run away from Tom.
I feel like I'm part of a team instead of just having a weird childish moment with Tom.
Looking to the right side where Sally is, her blond hair glimmering in the orange sunset, we catch each other glances and as if reading each other's minds, we both nod, a plan set in our heads. I think Alex can sense it too because she yells,"Break apart!"
We're now all spread apart, Sally at one side of the table, me in the back while Alex is on the other side. Tom looks dumbstruck as he looks at our formation around the table as if claiming our territory.
He looks to side to side, to all of us women.
I don't think he knows what to do next.
"Come and get me,"Alex teases.
"Ya, come and get me, Tom," Sally chimes in.
Tom follows each of their voices and then looks at me, as if waiting for me to chime in, but I just slitter a small smile on my face and he then does the same.
We're on opposite sides of the table, looking directly at each other, the only thing blocking us is the green table.
"NOW!" I yell into the cold air and Alex and Sally both run off towards Tom. Now it's his turn to start yelping and screening into the autumn air.
I laugh as I watch him struggle. Sally and Alex look scary as they run behind him, Alex's fingers reaching for his waist as if to pull him, but he's too fast to get caught.
I begin to run too as they get closer to me and join into this weird chase.
I'm in front of Tom as Sally and Alex are behind him. Tom chasing me as Sally and Alex both chase Tom.
We all yelp and jump over the benches of the table.
"Break," Alex yells, gasping.
In a rush we all reach the table again, siding down in the seats, bumping into each other as we slide into spots, tackling each other to find a seat.
I'm now in Tom's old spot and Sally's in Alex's old spot.
Tom and Alex are across form us.
It's as if we switched formation.
We all pant as our breaths enter the air.
Leaning against each other in exhaustion, trying to catch our breaths from our small sports of fun, I lean against Sally.
The cold air hitting us hard, releases the warm sweat we just broke out.
We look at each other as silence falls and we just watch as our breaths makes fog.
Looking at Alex's green eyes then at Tom's crystal ones, watching as their breathing cools down with mine, as if we all have the same knowing feeling, we all begin to laugh.
Erupting in the silent air once more, the laugh causing our reunion to feel more special for the four of us.
"So, how are you?" I ask, tilting my head to the side, tired, still adjusting from the run.
"Oh, you know." Alex shrugs. "Same old, same old. Still annoyed from the mom," she says, rolling her eyes at the mention of her mom.
"Same," I whoop out. And as if on impulse we both reach our hands and give each other a high five over the table.
"Ya," she says, doing a little dance in her seat.
Tom and Sally eye us suspiciously.
"What," I ask as I look at Sally.
"Ya, what," Alex says loudly in her cheery voice, pointing her finger across the table as if reaching for an answer.
Tom and Sally don't answer, instead they just look at each other, giving each other an unrecognizable look as if they're speaking to each other without talking. I look at Alex, asking with my eyes what's happening and she looks back at me, right away. We give each other the same look of understanding each other as if we're speaking too. We both seem to wonder what's happening between Tom and Sally at the moment. We both look back at the two of them, our eyes switching to Tom and then Sally, ending onto Sally, watching as their eyes glow brighter and their cheeks turn up. They begin to laugh and then the moment leaves with all of us laughing.
I have no idea what just happened.
"Oh, my god," Alex laughs, completely confused but all the while struggling for air as she continues to laugh,"I'm sooo confused," she screeches out, trying to control her undescribable laughs.
Watching her screech causes my laugh to continue.
Tom wipes at his eyes.
"I don't know," he shrugs when he says it, still chuckling lightly, swaying his body with our laughs.
"Ya, me neither," Sally giggles, shrugging out, looking at Tom.
They give each other another look and continue laughing.
"You were just talking about your problem with your mom so casually,... like what," she says, continuing to laugh, now becoming like Alex with her undescribable breath of a laugh, trying to control her small giggles.
I nudge her with my hand as we all continue to laugh.
"Just stop it," I tell her, pushing her lightly as she continues to laugh.
"Mom problems over here, lets high five," she mocks, her voice light as she laughs. Her comment causes all of us to roll over in laughter some more. Relatable or what, laughing about your sad problems with your friends, it makes the topic less harsh.
"I love you guys," I say in between our laughs as it starts to dim down.
"Ya, same, I love you too," Sally says, nudging me against the shoulder.
"Same over here," Alex calls, raising her arm up with her hand up as if asking for a high five. I reach out to it and slap it with mine. She laughs.
"Ya, me too," Tom says, chuckling lightly, looking at Alex with a happy grin on his face. His smile is lighter than the rest of us, we look like maniacs with our wide mouths while he looks calm, chill as he chuckled, his body moving along with his cool gesture.
"Well, this is fun," Alex says, her laugh finally gone, but her smile shows. We all sit, calmly now, adjusting from our waves of laughs.
I smile at the thought of this moment.
"Well, we for sure are having a sleepover," Alex says, leaning on the table, nodding her head for agreement.
"Yes, Alex, we are," I say, nodding along with her, my voice sounding sarcastic as I lean on the table. She looks at me in confusion.
"Is that a yes?"
"Yes, that's a yes," Sally says, rolling her eyes.
"Okay, good, now we know that this Saturday?.. Yes," she says, planning it out in her head, waiting for our nods. She looks at Tom, her eyes buldging as she waits for a response. He nods. She still waits.
"Yes," he sighs, smiling slightly as he rolls his head forward to look at Sally and I. His gaze is soft in amusement and I can tell Sally is doing the same. I only see Tom for a moment and I suddenly feel hot in worry.
But then Alex begins to speak again.
"So, yes, Saturday it is."
I move my attention to her, watching as her head bobs when she says the word Saturday.
"At my house, or?" she questions," I mean, after all, I've got the bad mamma," she says, nudging Tom and then scoutcing to Sally's side to nudge her. Sally rolls her eyes and nods.
"Yes, sure, we can go over to MY house," She says, her face getting closer to Alex.
She laughs and then scouches back to Tom.
"Okay, great, all of us at, Sally's place," she says, pointing at Sally.
We all nod, smiling in amusment at this weird little game we're playing.
I don't even know what's happening.
"Okay, well I gotta go," she says, pointing with her thumb towards the gate.
I nod back to her.
"You, know, my momma wants me back," she jokes, nudging Tom's side.
"Ya, I better go too," Tom adds too.
"Oh," I say, my eyes popping a bit as my head lengthens. They all look at me and then I slump back in my relaxed position shruging, "Well, see ya," I say with a smile.
"Okay, bye," Alex says, standing up with Tom, she hugs Tom, kissing his cheeck as he walks away. Alex stays put, looking down at Sally and I.
Tom looks behind him, wondering if Alex is leaving too, but then continues to walk forward as if knowing that Alex needs to talk to us alone. He walks out the gate and his figure vanishes in the orange sunlight.
Where Sally and I sit now, the light is purple and dark, the sun covered by the big school building in front of the park and by the trees.
"So, are you two okay," Alex asks, looking suddenly worried as she waits for an answer from the two of us.
I think we're both caught off guard by the question.
"Well," Sally says, "Um," she questions and then looks at me as I look at her. I shrug and then she does the same, looking back at Alex, "You, know." she shrugs.
Alex nods as if understanding.
"Well, okay," she says, smiling again, beginning to walk away," gotta get back to the momma," she jokes out again, but at this time I think Sally and I are just getting worried about her nonchalantly talking about the topic.
"Wait, are you okay?" I say, stopping her from leaving.
She shrugs.
"Oh, you know," she says, replying with Sally's answer, her voice quiet in thought, "She's just infuriating in that mother way," she says, shrugging, her voice less quiet as she finds the words,"She's just stuck in this stupid town and well, ya, leaving me in this stupid town too," she says, shrugging sadly.
I nod in understandment.
She picks up her bag, swinging it around her shoulder and begins to walk backwards.
"Well, bye." she waves,"Gotta get back to my momma," she says, rolling her eyes and then turns around leaving the gates of the parks and also disappears in the remaining sunlight.
It's as if Alex took all the sunshine with her as the air begins to chill, whipping a fast wind to us and then leaving a swirl.
The tension is clear between Sally and I, I look ahead in contemplation what I should do next. Sighing, I look at Sally.
"So?" I ask, dragging the word out with a sigh.
She sighs too, still looking ahead to where Alex was just moments there before.
"How are you," I ask, starting the conversation.
She shrugs, "I'm good,"
I release a small sigh, looking back ahead.
"Remember when we talked here last time," I say, looking ahead at the park.
"Oh,ya," Sally says, remembering, looking around too."It was the day I said I wanted to tell Andrew I liked him," she recalls.
My eyes widen.
How should I answer to that?
She scoffs out.
"Ha," she laughs out, shaking her head.
I look forward at the trees.
"Could you imagine him actually liking me," she asks, talking to herself as she continues to shake her head.
"Doubtful," she answers, scoffing again.
I turn to look at her.
"I mean, who would like me," she says, looking down in shame at her small petite.
"What, no," I say, taking her words in.
I hold her hands, cupping her fragile hands in my own.
"You're beautiful," I say, looking at her eyes. She doesn't seem to believe it as she makes herself look away.
"Yes. You. Are," I say, shaking her hands along with my words.
She rolls her eyes again but this time looks at me.
I look at her outfit and how her clothes stick perfectly to her body. The way she can pull off an almost winter coat without even looking fat. The complete opposite of me.
Her jacket almost leather-like as it patches along with her brown sweater underneath.
"God, Sally," I say, my eyes scanning her upper body until they reach her eyes.
"You're beautiful,"
She rolls her eyes but smiles as she looks away.
I smile too, shaking her hands, reassuring her with my silliness.
She laughs.
"Thank you," she says looking at me again. I can tell she's happy.
"You know, that day, we had skipped first period too," she recalls.
"Ya, that's true," I remember.
We smile together, chuckling at the small memory that doesn't really mean anything.
Little does she know that that day I was pissed off at how little I felt connected to our small group and how much I wanted to run away and be with Andrew but couldn't admit it. And hearing Sally wanting him made me angry, making me hate her for a moment. But now as I think about it, I was being irrational, of course I love Sally and of course we'll have bad moments, and who cares what boy I like, right? Now that I think of it, I feel like I would want to run away with Andrew and that if Sally ever did find out this, it would be way harder to patch our friendship again.
I try to ignore that feeling and just look at her fingers clasped in mine and then I look up at her again.
Her eyes brightens and she smiles, she hugs me. I smile too, taking in her embrace as I hug her.
I love her.
She breaks apart the hug and we stay in a comfortable silence, holding hands as we look ahead of us at the trees that are now turning into purple shadows.
I look back at Sally, she still looks forward, looking calm as she takes notice of the nature around us.
"Wanna hang out this Friday," Sally asks, her voice quiet, she still looks forward, but I see her eyes fluttering at her side view to see my reaction.
I smile brighter.
"Yes," I say, practically flinging my arms around her again. She laughs at the embrace and rocks her body with mine as she hugs back.
"Ya, we can watch a movie like we used to do every girl night," she says, nudging me,"Do you remember what we used to watch?"
"Yes," I answer, looking away as I roll my eyes.
"Come on, sing the song," she says, poking my side.
"Stop, you're being so childish,"
"I am a child," she counters.
I look back at her.
"Ugh, fine," I sigh out. I roll my eyes again,"I wanna be loved by you," I sing, trying to act bored and annoyed by the process of my singing,"Nobody else but you," I sing, waving my hands to the beat of the song as if I'm actually in the musical.
She giggles, tapping at my side for me to continue. I roll my eyes and sigh once more and this time I really sing, and my bored tone suddenly vanishes as I let the words sink in. I smile despite me still trying to look unfazed at me singing this classic song.
"Nobody else but YOUUUU,"I sing, hitting the end note perfectly, closing my eyes leaving this space for just a moment before it goes silent again and my mini performance finishes.
I look down, a bit embarrassed at my somewhat outburst. It goes silent for a moment before Sally bursts out in a cheer, clapping.
"Oh my god! You can singgg," she yells and squeezes me. "Wow, girl, I did not know that," she says, clearly proud.
I roll my eyes, dismissing my talent.
She gently pushes my side.
"Come on girl, you. Are. AMAZING!"
I roll my eyes again.
"That was nothing." I shrug again.
"Oh my god, girl, Don't think that I haven't heard you sing before, whenever we'd listen to those old movies, I could hear you humming along," she says, trying to reveal my talent, poking me with her words."Yes, you," she says, her index finger at my chest, poking me.
I suddenly feel good inside.
She bumps my shoulder as things go quiet.
"Come on,"
"Okay, yes, thanks, Sally,"
She smiles.
"Okay, I think it's time to go home," she says and gets up.
~~~~~~~~
Walking home, down the narrow sidewalk, it's finally dark outside and I'm freezing in my small coat. I can barely see what's in front of me, but the few community street lights guide our way. I don't feel so cold with Sally walking by me, talking about random stuff.
She really likes to collect stuff, she's describing the seashells she still has hidden in her treasure box. She made the treasure box too, when she was younger she covered it in hot glue, painting it pink and blue, splattering it with glitter and weird stickers. She's an arts and crafts kind of girl, yet again, the opposite of me. I don't really think I have a thing like she does.
"See look," she says, showing me her finger, a glittery pink ring sits on her long clean fingers.
"Nice," I say, nodding, my hands in my pockets as we walk.
"Ya, I found it in the treasure box, I touched it up a bit, found something to do while you were gone," she says, looking at her fingers, awwing at her work.
"It's really pretty," I tell her.
But I can't really see it in the dark, I'll have to get a better look at it in the light.
She drops me off at my house, she lives another block further from me, but we live pretty much right by each other.
We stop at my front door, the small light glowing my driveway.
She hugs me goodbye for the day and the day ends.