Sometimes I think to myself how differently things could have gone. If I never joined that VC, if I never hurt myself, if me and Wilbur got along.
Staying here is permanent, we aren't moving. So nothing will ever change, and that's just the sad truth. I've calmed down on hurting myself.. but who knows if i'll do it again. I don't want to.
I didn't want a lot of things, but they still happened.
"Tommy, I'm sorry." Wilbur stood behind me. I was watching the sunset over the hills. The balcony was a wide space, Wilbur walked next to me.
"For what?"
"Hitting you. I didn't mean it." Wil obviously felt guilty. I don't think he would've apologized if he didnt think I was angry.
"It's fine. I'm over it." I huffed, my breath cold.
"Tommy, I'm tired of fighting with you. It's like everyday." Wilbur threw his arms with expression. I turned around towards him.
"I wonder why."
"Are you kidding me right now, Tommy. I don't want to fight with you! And you are being snarky for no reason." Wilbur complained.
"I have a reason to be that way." I replied sternly, Wil looked hurt.
"What did I do..?" He sounded melancholy.
"Figure that out yourself."
"I-.. I don't know what I did?" He whined.
"You never know, Wilbur! I can't do everything for you!" I shouted.
"You dont need to!- I just— don't get what I did besides the slapping thing.. I thought you forgave me?" Wilbur looked down.
"Do I look like I forgave you." I hissed.
"You just said you did!"
"DOESN'T MEAN I MEANT IT!" I yelled in his face.
I huffed, "You are a liar, Tommy."
I gulped, "No i'm not—" I tried talking but Wilbur just walked back inside, looking like he was wiping his tears.
This will never work. There is always gonna be something between us. I start most of it too.. Nothing will change.
Karl POV
I saw Wilbur suddenly stomp into my room, "Whats up—" ...with a tear-stained face. "Woah- Are you okay?!" I stood up from my bed and walked over to him.
"No.. I want to hurt myself again." He whined, sobbing his eyes out. I hugged him so tightly, Wilbur has grown so much.
"You are brave for telling me, thank you. Do you wanna sit down with me and talk about it?" I tried to comfort him.
He nodded and fell onto my soft sheets. "It's Tommy again. He's being rude— I apologized for hitting him and then he said he forgave me! but then he didn't?— I don't get him. Now I feel awful." Wilbur rambled to me, it seems Tommy maybe needs space.
"Well it's been only a little since you slapped him, maybe he needs some time, Wil." I tried to sympathize.
He swayed his head towards me, "But he lied to me?! He got my hopes up and then just crushed them into a little ball and threw it off a cliff!! He doesn't care."
"I was perfectly fine without Tommy. You know what- maybe he does need some time! He should just LEAVE. I don't want to talk to him." He ranted.
"I'd leave too." I looked at him with a saddened expression.
"He can go with Techno— NO. Did you ignore everything I just said?!" He shook his head.
"Nonono- let me talk—.. Look I get he lied to you but-"
"STOP TRYING TO EXCUSE HIS BULLSHIT!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, letting all of his anger free. Oh shit-
He started sobbing right after he yelled, he covered his face with his hands and just cried. "I'm sorry.."
How did he just flip a switch that quickly— one second he'll be bursting with rage and the next he's just crying? "Hey hey.. It's alright— I get it." I rubbed his back.
He suddenly latched onto me and hugged me before getting up. "I'm gonna sleep.. Thanks for helping." I heard him mumble an 'i guess' after. God I shouldn't have tried to do that— I grabbed Wil's arm.
"Let me talk to you, I don't want you upset."
He looked confused, but then sat down. I watched as his brown silky hair covered his eye, the other looked terrified.
"You aren't in trouble. I just want you to know I care. I shouldn't have tried to make up excuses for Tommy, I'm sorry." I said.
"It's okay. I just don't want to fight or yell at anyone anymore. It's tiring." He sighed.
"It's alright— I don't want any fighting or yelling either.. Trust me. You should get some rest actually, you look tired. We can talk tomorrow if you want." I projected onto him. I'm the tired one.
"Haha- alright. Goodnight, thank you." He giggled and walked out, heading to bed.
"Goodnight." I fell onto my bed face first, today was the longest day i've had in awhile. Way to much went down, I wish Wilbur would've talked to me before he did that. You know what, no. I signed both Tommy and Wilbur up for therapy, it's going to get better. Staying here has been better-?.. Who am I kidding. It's been awful.
I just don't want anyone to die. or be hurt. or .. i just want them happy. is that too much to ask?
Tommy POV
Why did I do that? I'm just as bad as him, just as bad as Phil. Maybe I wouldn't be like him if I was shown the right thing to do. Karl is the closest thing to perfect. Quackity was perfect. I want him back. It's always my fault, I blame it all on myself.
No
Ranboo's perfect. Just... He isn't like a father figure. Maybe I shouldn't even be complaining, afterall.. its their problems.
...
I'm sad.
I'm upset.
i'm
i
i cant even form words
wilbur he..
he isnt the same.
i'm not the same— nothings the same!!
i need to face it.
Wilbur and I's bond is broken. i can't even call us close anymore. nothing is ever going to go back to how it was.
how bittersweet is that.
we started off so close and now it feels as if we are miles apart.
i changed for the worse.
me and wilbur can never be that happy duo anymore.
its all because of me.
its all because..
I was jealous
- tom