✓ REVERIE | F. HARGREEVES

You'll Never Understand

warning: mentions of abuse

———

I sit anxiously on Five's bed as I wait for him to return from his mission. He's been very distant lately, and I just want him to know that he can talk to me. I'm here for him, and love him with all my heart.

I tap my fingers against my leg and watch the door, my eyes darting to the clock every few seconds.

Suddenly the doors burst open to reveal a very angry Five. I smile slightly at him, to which he grunts in frustration. "Fives, are you ok?" I ask delicately, trying not to trigger his anger.

"No Y/n, I'm not ok. I'm not fucking ok!" He yells, pushing his books off his desk.

"Fives, just calm down bub, everything will be ok-"

"No Y/n! Everything's not ok! Stop pretending everything's fine, when it's not! You don't know the shit I have to put up with, and you never will!" He walks over to me and I back up until my back is against the wall. "You don't have the weight of the entire fucking world on your back! You don't understand the pressure and you never will!"  He glares at me, taking short heavy breaths.

Sometimes he scares me. "Bub, I'm sorry, I just wanted to help-"

"Well you can't!" He yells. I cower under him. He's looking at me scarily.

Just like how my ex used to.

"Nobody can help me! So stop trying to make everything better!" He throws his hands up in the air and I instinctively put my hands up and shield my face, sliding down the wall in attempt to save myself, my breathing rapidly picking up.

But I never feel an impact.

I hear stumbling around and I open my eyes to see Five with his hand over his mouth, tears rolling down his cheeks and his eyes filled with so many emotions.

Hurt.
Fear.
Shock.

Guilt.

He looks at me with wide eyes and two shaky hands over my face. "Holy shit. Holy shit. Oh my fucking god. Y/n, I'm so sorry I forgot about your ex I never meant to hurt you or make you feel unsafe I-" His breathing is uneven and he reaches a trembling hand out to hold mine and I let him, as I'm still hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry Y/n, I'm such a fucking asshole I never should have even made you feel that. Please forgive me I'm so sorry I blew up at you please don't leave me you're the best fucking this in my life I can't lose you." He pulls me into his chest and I wrap my arms tightly, trying to calm down from my panic attack.

"I-I'm sorry f-for-for overre-acting a-and trying t-to m-make things bet-better. You j-just need m-me to sup-su-support you-" I stutter like crazy as my breathing is super uneven.

"No. You h-have nothing to be sorry for. Don't y-you dare ap-apologize. I'm such a dick, g-god." He sobs.

He rubs my back and tries to calm me down as I cling to him. He pulls away and kisses my forehead. "I would never ever hit you and I'm so sorry if I made you feel unsafe because I never want you to feel that way, especially with me." He whispers.

I nod, not trusting my voice, and kiss his lips, my hands finding his hair and his hands gripping my waist, as if he's afraid of letting go. "I can't lose you too." He mutters when we pulls apart.

I bury my face in his neck and he plays with my hair. "It's just... sometimes I get so angry and- you know I have angry issues- and I'm sorry you have to put up with that."

I cup his face in my hands. "Fi-Five, I'm here to love y-you and to hold you. P-Please just talk to m-me, I want t-to help."

He nods and hugs me tightly. He carries me over to his bed and I cuddle into his side, his arms wrapping protectively around me. He presses soft pecks to my neck as I snuggle closer, trying to steal as much of his warmth as I can. He continues kissing the skin exposed to him, lulling me into a dreamless sleep.

that one was... intense.
sorry if these are getting depressing, idk that's what i'm getting inspired to do.

Now I have an idea for the next one, but I have a question because I need it for the story, and I'm wondering your opinions.

Diego and Eudora, or Diego and Lila?

I'm my opinion, Lila loves him back, even if she is a little cuckoo at times, she's a queen tho. but so is eudora and the way he cries over her just breaks my heart 🥺🥺🥺 so i honestly can't decide.