It's My Story✔

55. Fonding

Hello... I hope you liked the story until now. I just want to tell you to read the little rant at the end of the chapter. Thank you😘😘😘

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JAY POV

It has been a week since Sia left. I know I am to be blamed for what I said to her. When I think back at my words, I couldn't help but feel guilt. She did nothing wrong. And I blamed her for no mistake.

It was never my intention to snap out at her. I wanted to leave for good. After I read what I read from her journal which was a big mistake in two ways, one its wrong to read someone's personal diary without their consent. And two, I got to know how much she adored me. I felt guilty for not remembering anything. I felt bad for not being able to respond to her fondness. I felt terrible for hurting her when all she did is love a prick like me.

That is the actual reason for coming up with a mindless, meaningless, idiotic, add any number of adjectives and it would still not describe the worst idea of me leaving from here. I know I will be persuaded to stay and there will be arguments coming up in this aspect when I thought of it. But I thought it is better to take some time to get my shit together and process the excess information I got to know. But one thing led to another and finally, it got a hell lot messier than I thought it would be.

I shouted at both Ved and Sia without their mistake. That made me feel even more terrible now. I thought Sia is just being sarcastic or something when she said that she is leaving. Ved spoke no word at her decision. I thought he would slap me hard on my face to get me back to my senses and actually see what a mess I have created. But he was too much in a shock to understand what actually happened that night.

The next day, he ran to Sia's house very early and returned only after an hour. I thought he would tell that she is still here and considered staying. But I got to see a completely disappointed face of Ved which spoke louder that she already left. I think there is no limit for feeling guilty, it just gets even worse second by second.

Ved spoke nothing for two days and it was then I understood how much they tried to make me feel comfortable. They used to talk something making me smile, trying to make me remember something, trying to make me feel better and normal. Sadly, there is no they but only him now. I wished he would just scream or shout at me for everything after that, but being a perfectly perfect man, he is, he just talked normally. Maybe if he did what I thought he would have done; I could have felt a little less shitty. But no, he is too understanding for my own good.

I have seen him making continuous calls and messages and being worried. I wanted to ask him and confront him about the thing that is making him restless, but I know that is all because of me. I just sat beside him as he cried putting his head on my shoulder.

"She's gone, Jay. She's really gone.", he cried. I felt bad for him and angry at myself for putting such a situation in front of us. I don't know what to say or what to do, I just patted him lightly on his shoulder. He is crying for his best friend who happened to leave because of my harsh words.

"I thought she needs sometime for that night to process everything. I thought I could persuade her and beg her if needed, to make her stay. But she left, without even telling a word.", he cried.

"I am sorry, Ved. This is all because of me.", I told slowly, my voice barely audible. That is my guilt talking. He just looked at me from my shoulder and sat straight.

"No, Jay. It's not because of you. Don't blame yourself for that.", he said rubbing off the tears he had earlier. He is trying to make me feel better.