It's My Story✔

46. Back in Bangalore

SIA POV

My daily routine has changed drastically in these two months. It includes spending few hours with Jay mostly. Talking with him so that we can know what's happening with him. Sometimes we go for a little walk for a change of environment. He says he remembers nothing about any incident we tell him.

I tried a lot not to cry or show my tears when I am with him. It's a pure struggle. Looking at the person with whom you decided to spend an eternity of love, when he remembers not a single thing.

It was not easy. I was torn open when I heard that he doesn't any of us. We all sat there outside the hospital that day, crying our hearts out. It took us days to get used to it. Slowly, we started to help Jay remember the past again. I moved back to our village leaving Vizag, to stay close to Jay. I can't stay there now anyways. I'll be too alone.

Vedika and Manyu went back to Vizag to their home. They come every week to see Jay. Ved also thought of leaving Bangalore and come back.

"Nothing is more important than my best friend now.", he said. I don't know whether he referred Jay or me or both. But those words held so much meaning.

"No Ved. You can't do that. Remember, you got your first project just now. You can't step back now.", we all made Ved accept the situation of work and Jay. It is tough but we have to do that. Else he will lose his whole career which just started budding.

"You can come and go, visit Jay whenever you can. Also, you are now the head of the company there. There will be many responsibilities you must take care of, with Jay's absence now your presence is must needed.", I said to him. He listened and nodded. He said that he would be coming and going every now and then. We are all best friends. But now we are more like a family. Standing one for another.

"You know that I don't love you now, right?", Jay's words are still ringing in my ears. We both came to temple. It also got included in my daily routine now.

I just nodded at him and smiled weakly as he came and sat beside me on the steps. Peace is one thing I need right now, but life doesn't give you what you want. It gives what ever we deserve. I don't know what made me deserve this pain and hurt. It's just increasing exponentially day by day.

He just started silently into the air breaking the coconut.

"Penny for your thoughts?", I asked

"Nothing. I am just wondering how beautiful this temple is. Isn't it?", he asked.

"It is Jay. But this is not the first time you came here.", I said to him and he nodded.

"I wish I just will wake up one day and remember everything. Or realize this is all a worst dream. It is not easy for me acting all friendly or what you say 'normal' when I don't remember what normal is.", he said still struggling with the coconut.

"I wish the same Jay. We all wish the same.", I said.

After a few minutes of silence, we just walked back home. His home. And then I went back to mine telling him to give me a call if he wants to talk or something.

I am trying. Hard. But it gets only down the hill. It started to drizzle slightly as I walk home. Many memories with this rain. I remember the day he said that he loves me for the first time. Its this rain that held witness for our love. But now it is also crying for washing away our best memories.

Tears are my constant companions. I started to work to get distracted a little but nothing is helping me. There is a lot of work pending. Veds is helping to get it done, but she can't manage it alone. We both were there in this, still there. Only I took a few weeks of leave from the work to sort the things. Now I should get back to it.

With all my dreams crashed, I should at least protect the little thing me and Veds started. That's our livelihood.

"Yes Veds. I want to get it started. I can't sit sadly and get upset. I need distraction. May be this help as a distraction for some time.", I said to her.

"Okay Sia. Here I will send you the details of the project. Take a look at it and start it. I'll send the material which we have done till now.", she said. She sounded a little better than last time. I think she got over the thing now. Good for her.

"Okay. I'll start right away.", I said and cut the call.

THREE MONTHS from the accident......

Things are just the same. Nothing changed except for my worry and his frustration. I can see him irritated all the time. He hates being told what to do and what not to. At the point, he is trying to learn the things again. Which is so much of struggle.

Doctors suggested that we should get him do what he used to do before the accident. Else he may end up depressed and may attempt self-harm. We thought that is a better idea. He went to Bangalore now to his previous house. Ved said that he would look after him. He always did though.

I moved along with him too. I can't go to Vizag now. No point going there. I can't sit alone in my home. I am too sad and looking at me like this is an absolute torture to my parents. Can't blame them, can I? They love me so much that my pain hurts them. And their hurt causing me more pain. Never ending cycle. Someone should break it. Why not me?

I need a place for myself. Where I could think something without anyone's presence. So, I rented a small apartment a little away from Ved's in Bangalore. May be this new environment brings a little peace to Jay.

Days are passing by so numb. I can see Jay's frustration and Ved struggling with work pressure and also with Jay's condition. Many sleep deprived nights. Many nightmares.

"You know how to do this, Jay. Just learn it a little. You can do it.", he said to Jay. He just sighed and sat back in the couch.

Saturday. Weekend. It's Jay's training today. To learn again his lost subjects.

"I am trying Ved. This is not that easy. I don't understand how I did this back then.", he said. We chuckled. Sometimes, we make fun of him too. He does that too. But it only gets more depressing when the moment goes.

"Don't say that, Jay. You are the one that taught me that concept.", Ved laughed at him. Jay just made faces at him and threw the marker at him.

"Let's get out tomorrow guys. I want a really good change of things.", I said to them. To be clear, Jay still didn't remember that we are his best friends. Though he is comfortable now, this is not the same Jay before.

"Better idea. What should we do? Or where shall we go?", Ved asked excitedly.

"Why not to the carnival?", I suggested. Jay liked them back then. May be that could make him remember anything. Also, I like them too. It would give me a little carefree time.

"Damn, that's perfect. What say, Jay?", Ved asked him.

"Sure.", he said.

"Make it fast Sia. I don't understand what you girls do for this long time.", Ved screamed again. It's 5 in the evening and it's Sunday. We have to start by 5.30 so we can reach the carnival by 6.30 considering the traffic on a weekend.

"Just five minutes, Ved. Don't shout.", I yelled back at him. This is a complete normal for us whenever we had plans. Me and Veds used to get ready when Jay and Ved always said something like this. I miss Veds and past Jay today. He sat all silent in the hall.

"Thank God, I didn't have a girlfriend. I can't handle if she takes this much time.", he said dramatically.

"Very funny. She will leave you before you leave her, Ved. Shut up now.", I said walking into the living room.

"Shall we go?", I asked them.

"We are asking you the same from about an hour, Let's go.", he said and I laughed.

Jay has been completely silent all the time. It actually scared me a bit. He was looking and roaming around the house, scrutinizing things. It made me laugh.

"What are you looking at, Jay?", Ved asked.

"This", he said showing something as my heart stopped beating looking at it.