Don't Tell Mom- Demi Lovato

[78] Dead

CHAPTER 78- Dead

Demi's POV

I slammed the bathroom door and slid down against it until my butt touched the ground, rubbing my face with the hell of my hands. Did he really think that low of me? As everything he's told me been a lie? Does he even want to be married to me anymore?

I thought about the babies in my stomach, did he even want to be a father again?

A knock on the door sounded and a sob bubbled out from my chest, "Wilmer I don't want to talk to you."

I felt the door move a bit and knew he was sitting in the same position on the as me on the other side.

"I know you don't, so i'm gonna wait for you until you do."

I let out an annoyed sigh, "Can you please just leave?"

"Glady, just open the door. I want to talk to you nena."

"Why? So you can yell at me that I haven't changed? Or did you want to start about how i'm a terrible mom? Which one will it be?"

He stayed silent and I found myself digging my nails into the side of my wrist, aching for some sort of relief. I let my head fall back against the door as I breathed deeply, trying to not give into the demons in my head.

Come on Demi, what do you have to lose?

He doesn't care, he probably never did.

I whimpered a bit, and sat on my hands, trying desperately to keep my breathing even.

"Demi?"

I shook my head, not wanting to answer him in fear of him hearing the desperation in my voice.

"Demi are you okay?"

I let out a shuddering breath and stood up, looking into the mirror as I dried my tears as best as I could with fresh ones spilling over, and took a deep breath. I forced myself to smile miserably and then opened the door. Wilmer fell back a bit, but I didn't laugh the way I normally would've. I didn't even know if I could muster up the strength to fake one, I just felt so numb.

"Nena." He breathed, and scrambled to his feet. I stared at him with blank eyes and flinched back as he touched my face. "Did you...?" He trailed off and grabbed my hands, his eyes going sad when he saw the deep red nail marks that tainted my wrists.

"No." My voice was hollow, "I didn't. But I wanted too."

He shook his head and slipped his arms around my waist but I wriggled out of them and began walking towards the door. Before I reached it I turned around.

"Nothing happened. We're going to go down there and pretend that we're fine."

Wilmer's eyes showed surprise but he nodded and walked in silence next to me. As we came into the kitchen Izzy's eyes showed concern at first but as I forced myself to smiled widely they relaxed and she turned back to the cooking.

"It's smells great baby." I tried to make my voice have more substance but I hoped she didn't notice how dead it came out.

"Thanks." She shot me a smile and turned off the stove, then handed the hot pan to Wilmer, "I don't know what's next so it's your turn."

Wilmer nodded and took the pan, then began to spoon the meat into a cheese lined corn tortiallas and rolled them up. "And into the pan they go." He looked towards Izzy with a silly expression then smiled at me but it faded at my dead eyes.

After the enchiladas cooked in the oven, Wilmer put three on plates and we all dug in. They tasted amazing, as did almost everything Wilmer cooked. I felt his eyes on my almost the entire time we ate, but I kept my gaze down, not wanting to be hurt anymore than I was.

Izzy jumped down from the counter and put her plate in the sink, "That was awesome dad, but I'm supposed to skype Saffy soon, I'll be back down in a little bit."

I watched as she walked out and up the stairs where I heard a door shut and Wilmer and I were left in silence.

"I think I'm gonna head to bed." I murmured, "It's been a long day." Wilmer stepped forward, but I shook my head, "Alone."

~*Izzy's POV*~

"Hey!" I smiled as Saffy's face appeared on my computer screen.

"Hey! How's it going?"

I sighed, "My parents are fighting again."

Her face showed a mix on concern and sympathy, "What happened?"

I shrugged, "He made a comment at dinner and she ran upstairs in tears but they didn't come down for almost an hour, so it had to be bigger than that. Her eyes, they were so blank and she barely even looked at him. I guess the worst part is that they're trying to hide it from me. They think I can't see when my mom's upset. Like come on, I learned to read her emotions a long time ago."

It was true, I always knew when she was in a bad mood by the way she walked, or how she could say one word and I knew not to ask her for anything. If I did, I usually ended up getting screamed at of grounded while she left for New York for the weekend to 'decompress.'

"Do you think she's going to do anything?"

Saffy was a fan of my mom's, so she knew about her past with eating disorders and self-harm. It hadn't crossed my mind that my mom would ever relapse again, she always seemed so strong and held together.

"I don't know honestly. I've never seen her like that really, she always tried to put on her brave face when things got tough around me, but it's like she couldn't even have the strength to try to fake it. Like smiling was exhausting her."

Saffy nodded, "Have you tried talking to her?"

I shook my head, "She already went to bed, so it wouldn't make much sense. Besides, I don't know if theyr'e fighting or talking it out right now and I don't want to interrupt either way."

"I think you should go talk to her. If they're fighting, we can skype again but if she's alone just spend time with her. I'm sure even if you don't talk about what's going on between them she'll be grateful just for some company. Plus, if she is having a hard time in her recovery, she needs someone to look out for her."

I rolled my eyes but smiled, "How are you sixteen?"

She pretended to be offended, "Listen, you're not that much older than me, so shut it about age unless you want me to call you grandma."

I let out a loud laugh, "Alright alright, I'm gonna go check on my mom. I'll text you."

The screen went blank and I took a deep breath, then walked out of my room to stand outside my parent's door and knocked.

"Wilmer I don't want to fucking talk to you."

I sighed, "Mom it's me."

She was silent for a second, "Come in."

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-Rachel