Don't Tell Mom- Demi Lovato

[47] Morning

CHAPTER 47- Morning

Izzy's POV 

        I nearly ran back to my room after me and my mom finished talking. I knew she was suspicious of me, I'd been so stupid asking about the feelings thing. I laid on my bed and could feel the weight of the guilt of keeping a part of my life that I knew she would be crushed about from her. I knew my mom wouldn't judge me, or be mad at me, but the thing is that I don't want to stop. I'm perfectly fine dealing with my feelings the way I am right now. My demons are the only things I can always rely on. I bit my lip and looked at the guitar leaned against the wall, it couldn't hurt to play a bit, right? I refused to play after my mom missed my eigth grade graduation, but years and years of lessons were still in my memory. I picked up the instrument and grabbed a pick from my bedside table. I'd had melodies swirling in my head for a while, and as I plucked at the first string the familiar warm tone made a soft smile creep over my lips. I strummed and plucked out the rhythm and began to softly  sing. 

Tough girl, in the fast lane. 

No time for love, no time for hate. 

No drama, no time for games. 

Tough girl, who's soul aches. 

I'm at home, on my own 

check my phone, nothing though

Act busy, Pay Tv. 

It's agony. 

I may cry ruining my makeup, 

Wash away all the things you've taken. 

And I don't care if I don't look pretty. 

Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking. 

Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking. 

        I stopped played and took a shuddering breath, wiping at my eyes. I didn't want to get too loud or risk my mom hearing me. Quickly, I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, writing down the lyrics and the chords I'd come up with. I smiled at the verse, then blinked, this could actually work. As of this moment, I didn't feel the urge to cut as much as I did when I started. It was there of course, but not as compelling. I found myself wanting to play more than I did walk into the bathroom and reach under the sink. 

Weird. 

~*~

~*Demi's POV*~   

        I woke up curled against Wilmer's chest, one of my legs thrown over his thigh and my hand on his chest protectively. Peaking up at him, I saw he was already awake and staring at the ceiling while his hand trailed up and down my back. I laid there for a few minutes, watching his face. 

"What time is it?"  

Wilmer looked down and checked his phone, "Almost eleven." 

I yelped and sat up, "My doctor's appointment is at one! Why didn't you wake me up?" 

He looked down, "I didn't want you to leave." 

My eyes softened and I laid back against him, "I guess we could wait a few more minutes." 

It was quiet for a few minutes, until I broke it. 

"Where did you go last night?" 

Wilmer inhaled sharply, "To a bar." 

A lump in my throat formed and I fought back tears. 

"Oh." 

"I didn't drink." 

I looked up at him curiously, "What? Why?" 

He played with my fingers gently, "I ordered vodka and tonic, and looked down the bar and saw an older guy with a few glasses in front of him. He was staring at his wedding ring in his fingers. I realized thay could very well be me in a few years if I didn't get my shit together. So I went to Kelly's office and caught up with her just as she was leaving and just vented a little. She reminded me that you're off your meds so your mood is really unstable, and it was normal for you to be hurt and angry by me saying the sex thing. So I came right home. I didn't wake you up this morning because I was still contemplating on how to tell you how sorry I am." 

I bit my lip and smiled, "I'm proud of you. Two weeks ago you would've been on the couch and hungover." 

He flinched but smiled warmly and kissed my fingertips, "I'm so sorry Demi." 

Shaking my head I moved further up his chest, "So are you still against breaking ground rules or does the two kisses rule still apply?" 

Wilmer pretended to think, "I would be okay with a kiss."

He barely finished the sentence before my lips were on his, my hands running through his hair. All too soon, we needed air and pulled away. 

I kept my forehead against his, "God I love you." 

~*~

        "Demi calm down." Wilmer murmured, taking my hand as my leg began to shaking in the doctor's office. 

"That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who's miscarriaged once, almost twice before!" I hissed, and immediately regretted my words at his hurt expression. "I'm sorry. I'm just scared." 

He pulled me into his side and kissed my temple, "It's gonna be okay no matter what happens." 

"Demi Lovato?"  

We both looked up at the nurse and Wilmer pulled me to my feet, leading me hand in hand to a white room where we were once again instructed to wait. 

"Wilmer I can't do this." 

He opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment the door opened and an older lady walked in. 

"Hello! My name is Dr.Renolds, I'll be giving your ultrasound today." 

I furrowed my brow, "What happened to Dr.Beauchamp?" 

She frowned, "Didn't you call to switch doctors?" 

My eyes were blazing as I looked at Wilmer who had a very guilty expression. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot." 

I didn't stop staring at Wilmer the entire time she put on the gel and set up the machine. He'd miraculously become extremely interested in the floor. 

"Okay! Here's your baby, in a few seconds you'll be able to hear it's heartbeat." I tore my eyes away from my husband who I was now infuriated with and turned to look at the monitor as a faint thudding came from the microphone. My eyes filled with tears and I covered my mouth with my hand. 

"Holy shit." 

The doctor smiled, "Your baby is perfectly healthy. Congratulations." 

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-Rachel