Don't Tell Mom- Demi Lovato

[83] Explain

CHAPTER 83- Explain

Demi's POV

        The second I heard those words come out of Izzys mouth, I felt like I've been slapped. I kept my mouth shut the rest of the way home after yelling at her that she was grounded, trying desperately not to burst into tears. As I spun into the driveway I barely had turned the car off before I was running into the house.

"What happened?" I heard Wilmer yell, but I ran upstairs, slamming the door behind me and curling up on the bed as I let out a loud sob. The door opened, and Wilmer stepped into the room. "What happened Demi?" He murmured, and I shook my head, sobbing even harder into the bed.

I felt the mattress dip and I automatically turned to curl into his chest, grabbing his shoulders as I push my face into his shoulder.

"Demi, it's okay I've got you. It's okay baby, I've got you." He whispered, rubbing my back and kiss my hair, "Don't worry. Tell me what happened sweetheart."

I shook my head, "Just told me. I need to be held right now." I whispered.

"Don't worry, I've got you don't worry Hermosa."

I sniffled and continued to cry into him for a few minutes. After a while I finally was able to stop crying and laid in his arms, staring normally with the blank expression, occasionally breaking into tears again.

"Demi." Wilmer pulled away from me, searching my face, "What happened?"

I sniffled and played with the edge of his shirt, "Izzy came into the car and she started saying about how Kelly told her that I could help her with flashbacks when she's having... Sex. So I asked if she was planning on doing it with." I took a deep breath, "She said she didn't want to look like a freak, and I told her that she should do it with someone who loves her unconditionally, not someone you just see every weekend. And she... She." I cut off with another sob, and Wilmer rubbed my arm. "She said that she seen the articles, and I've done things that would make a porn star blush." I choked out the words, and so will merge expression of rage as his body tensed.

"She said that?!" He growled, and I nodded, tears coming to my eyes again. Wilmer got up and stalked out of the room. After a few minutes, he walked back in holding but I seem to be was Izzys phone, and laptop.

"You can't do that!" Came Izzy's yell, and she burst into the room.

"I can't do this?! Wilmer roared, "You are my daughter! I can do what I want! You, however, cannot speak to your mother that way! You have no right to say about her past! You don't know anything about what she's been through! It disgusts me that you even dare to speak to her like that!"

Izzy was shrinking back from Wilmer with the terrified expression as he screamed in her face, and I stood up, walking over to them and placing a hand on Wilmer's chest as I looked at Izzy.

"Go to your room, I'll be there in a minute." She hung her head and walked out of the room as I looked at Wilmer, who was breathing heavily through his nose. "You need to calm down."

He shook his head, "She needs to know-"

"I think she gets it." I snapped, "You don't need to keep screaming at her because that's not going to do shit!"

He threw his hands in the air, "Excuse me for trying to defend you!"

I sighed and shook my head, "Baby, look." I stepped forward and put my hands on his cheeks, "I know you mean well, but yelling at her won't work, okay? She's exactly like I was when I was a teenager. I'm gonna go talk to her and give her her phone back. She needs it... Just in case. You stay here and calm down. When I get back you better not be in a shitty mood because I need you to rub my feet." I demanded, and waddled down the hallway.

I was completely done with being pregnant. I want to these babies out of me. I'm hormonal mess all the time. I don't yelling out I don't like yelling at Wilmer or Izzy, I just want us to be happy. I got Izzys door, and opened it, knocking quietly.

"Come in."

I forced to smile as I walked in and sat next to the bed beside her. "Hey."

She sniffled, "I'm sorry for what I said."

I smiled, "I forgive you. I understand that you're angry and confused. Don't worry about it."

She looked down, "I made you cry."

I love a small chuckle, "I'm pregnant, and bipolar. A stiff wind could make me have a meltdown."

Izzy smiled, "I guess, but I still feel bad."

I smiled, "Well I brought you this," I held out her phone, "I don't feel comfortable with keeping your only form of communication away from you. But, I am keeping your laptop."

Izzy nodded, "I get it..." 

I could tell by voice that she had question still, but I didn't know if I was ready to answer them. "I'm sorry that I snapped at you in the car. What Kelly was telling you to talk about with me if a really sensitive subject." 

She inhaled slowly, "You don't have to tell me." 

I shook my head, "What do you think I'm doing right now?" She fell silent as I moved closer to her onto the bed. "I know it's hard to believe this, but I know what you're going through right now. I never wanted you to experience such a darkness like I did when I was a kid... I wanted your life to be perfect, and I know I ruined that a long time ago, but it's true. I did want you to have an amazing life. When I was a kid, my dad's friend would come over every now and then, and they would smoke and drink. It didn't get bad until I was about three or four. My dad began to drink more and more but soon he would become so drunk he could barely comprehend wheat was happening. The guy, he was drunk too, and he grabbed me, and...." My voice dropped to a whisper as I stared at my hands, "He raped me." Izzy sucked in a sharp breath of air as she stared at me with a horrified expression. "It happened multiple times, until one day I told my mom and she flipped, screaming at my dad, asking him how this could have possibly happened when he was there. So he snapped too, he'd been drinking, and beat her to a pulp right in front of me, then hit me. Once he was done he went back into his office and opened another bottle. She left him that day, and filed for the divorce the day after that." 

Izzy shook my head and her hand covered her mouth, "Oh my God mom, holy shit." 

I smiled grimly, "So that, is why Kelly told you that I might be able to help you with the flashbacks, because I've been there. I acted out my own shame from those events through drugs, alcohol, my eating disorder, self harm, and yes, sex. It's not secret that I've done things I'm not proud of, and I certainly wasn't thinking of my daughter finding out about them. When I met your dad it was one of the first relationships that I knew he actually loved me, so I did a lot of running away. I was used to meaningless, drunk or high, sex. Not love. It was never love, until I met him. I blocked out the flashbacks during my encounters with the other guys, but the first time I was with your dad in that way, they all came rushing back and I just about had a mental breakdown while in bed with him. But, he helped me through it. He didn't think I was a freak, or shove me out of his house. He loved me. And that, it why you need to do it with someone who will love you, and understand that you've been through terrible things." 

Izzy sniffled, "But I love Jake. I think he's the one who could be that person for me. And, he knows more about me and what I've been through than anyone on this planet. Even you." 

I smiled, "I can't control you on this baby, you need to make the decision. I'm not going to love you any less, or be mad at you. I do like Jake, I just want to make sure you two are ready to take that step. Okay? Just make sure you're ready and that you've talked about things. Don't expect it to be anything like the movies, and don't expect it to be perfect, because that way, it might be." 

She smiled, "Thanks mom. I love you." 

I pulled her into my side and kissed the top of her head, "I love you too babygirl." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comment and Vote! 

GUYS MARCH IS COMING UP AND IM DEBUTING TWO (YES THAT'S RIGHT, TWO) NEW FANFICS. ON MARCH FIRST AND MARCH SECOND SO MAKE SURE YOU LOOK FOR THEM! 

Twitter: @Lovatic_Chica

Next Update: Friday! 

-Rachel