Don't Tell Mom- Demi Lovato

[29] Remember

CHAPTER 29- Remember

Wilmer's POV    

        I don't know how long I held her for, it felt like hours but I knew it was only really about twenty minutes. Eventually her sobs had turned into cries and then soft whimpers as she fisted my t-shirt, finally allowing herself to grieve for the son we'd both lost. 

"Wilmer?" She squeaked, and I looked down into her red-tinged brown eyes. Her lower lip quivered and just as I was about to hug her again, she kissed me. 

It wasn't urgent, or fast-paced like most of our kisses lately. (we did occasionally find ourselves in a state of passionate lust that only the other could fulfill) It was slow, and deliberate. Her hand came up to rest on the nape of my neck, pulling me closer to her as our mouths slowly moved in sync. Too soon for me- but we both needed air, Demi pulled away and rested her forehead against mine. Her lips trembled as she whispered my name again. 

"Wilmer?" I hummed in response and she slowly pressed our lips together again.

"I love you. I know I've fucked up, and I'm an over-dramatic, oversensitive, bitch. But I really do love you Wilmer." Her voice shook as she tried to explain what I've known all along. "And I'm sorry. I'm just so fucking sorry baby." 

I pulled her into my chest as a fresh wave of tears rolled down her face. 

"It's okay sweetheart. I love you too. It's okay." I gently pulled away and helped her up. 

"Come on, put on a sweatshirt. I'm taking you somewhere." 

~*~

        As soon as Demi realized our destination she shrunk back in her seat and buried her head in her hands, staying in that position until I rolled to a stop. 

"Demi. This is something we have to do. We haven't been here in eighteen years." She nodded, but didn't move and I got out of the car, walking over to her side and pulling the door open. 

"Nena, come with me, we can do this together." Slowly, she nodded and got out of the car, leaning on me for support as we walked into the graveyard. 

Demi's POV  

        I walked the familiar path from the car to the gravestone that held my child. As we passed each gravestone, I couldn't help but think about the souls that had once been in the bodies. They had relatives, friends, family, why did they all have to go? They shouldn't make coffins small enough to hold babies. It's sickening to think about. As we neared his plot, I could feel my anxiety rising, and I stopped in my tracks. 

"I can't do this." Wilmer turned to face me, looking into my eyes with sympathy. 

"Yes you can. We both need this." 

I shook my head, "No. I can't." I pushed away from Wilmer and began to run down the path, pushing myself faster as I heard him yelling after me. 

        After many twists and turns I found myself sitting on a bench next to a fountain, tears pouring from my eyes as I was forced to remember the past, something I'd been putting aside for years.

* 

"I'm so sorry." The doctor said gently, before walking out of the hospital room to leave me and Wilmer alone. I could sense his eyes on me, but I felt nothing. I didn't cry, or scream, or even say anything. 

"Demi..." Wilmer began, but couldn't think of the words to say. I stared blankly at the wall, emotionless.

"Hermosa." Wilmer breathed, and touched my hand. I pulled it away, and shook my head. He sighed, "I'll go get the discharge papers." 

As he left the room, a single tear rolled down my cheek, as I allowed myself to feel a fraction of the pain inside and weep for my now dead child. 

**

 "Dammit Demi! Can you please just talk to me?! You've been staring out of that window for a month now! I lost him too! Don't you care about how I feel?!" Wilmer exclaimed. I just continued to look blankly into the outside world. I hadn't spoken since the moment the doctor told me that the child I'd carried for nine months, grown an inseparable bond with, died in labor. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I didn't want to, I wanted it to be me they were putting in the ground, not him. 

I heard Wilmer slam the door. It wasn't surprising that he left. He'd been  going out almost every night and coming home drunk. It was the way he dealt with his pain. We were both fucked up, and we knew it. This time though, he didn't come home. 

Little did I know he'd found someone else to take away his pain for the night. 

***

"Demi?"  I flinched as Wilmer touched my arm. "Demi please stop doing that." 

I felt anger rise in me, "I can't stop doing that Wilmer! Everytime you fucking touch me the image of you doing the same to her pops into my head! How am I supposed to just get over it?!" 

He sighed, "Maybe we could go somewhere... to talk about all that's happened-" 

"No." My answer was final. "I'm not talking about you and her, or him, or that day." 

Wilmer sighed, "Then we have to start over Demi, both of us need clean slates with each other." 

I nodded, "Fine. We never mention Luca again and I won't mention her." 

Slowly, he nodded, but I knew his end of the bargain wouldn't hold up. 

****

I dropped the little white stick back on the counter, and stared at my shocked reflection in the mirror. No.  I can't be, this is bad, really bad. 

"Hermosa?" I heard the front door shut, "I'm home." I flinched at the sound of Wilmer's heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. He knocked softly on the bathroom door, and peered in. His smiled dropped to a concerned frown when he saw my expression. 

"Demi? What's wrong? What happened?" 

I blinked, and turned to face him. 

"Wilmer... I'm pregnant." 

His face lit up, and he took my face in his hands to kiss me passionately. 

"This is amazing nena!" I took a step back and he frowned again, this time at my lack of enthusiasm. "Not amazing?"  

I sat on the edge of the counter and put my head in my hands, "No. Definitely not amazing. I have a career Wilmer! What a I supposed to do?!" 

He moved between my legs and wrapped his arms around me, "You and I both know this has nothing to do with your career." 

I could feel myself freeze up, "Stop. You promised. Never again." 

****

         I felt someone's arms wrap around me as I sobbed into my hands, holding together all of the broken pieces.

"Shh hermosa, I've got you." 

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If you didn't get it still, Wilmer and Demi miscarriaged and it basically fucked up their marriage because Demi went mute and Wilmer turned to drinking and had an affair then Demi got pregnant with Izzy but she was scared because she didn't want to have another miscarriage. 

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-Rachel