Fifteen: Free Fallin'

Chapter 54: Lonely Gun

Aria found herself awake at 6am. She had fallen asleep at 5pm when she and Daisy got back from the restaurant and slept throughout the night. She didn't realize she was so tired, but she figured heartbreak would do that to you. She went for a run and pushed herself. She wanted her body to ache as much as her heart did.

By the time she was showered it was 8:30am. She looked through her closet, but nothing seemed to call out to her. She just felt numb. She decided on her dance tights and an oversized Texas U sweatshirt and shrugged. She put her hair in a messy bun and slipped on her Vans. I don't have anyone to look cute for anyway.

She took deep breaths before entering class. The moment she saw him all resolve left her. She wanted to turn around and say fuck it to class, but she knew that would only hurt her and her GPA in the long run. She took her seat next to his and stared straight ahead once situated. She knew he was looking at her. She could feel his piercing blue gaze on her, but she would not give him the satisfaction of caving and returning one.

Professor Matthews came in shortly after looking as horrible as she felt. "Class, as you can see I'm terribly ill, but I have three kids to put through college so I'm here. You all will work with your partners on your project today. Remember it's due next month so you should have made a lot of progress by now." He said before blowing his nose. "Get to it!"

Aria rolled her eyes at the predicament she was in. Now having being forced to do so, Aria looked at Caleb. She almost didn't recognize him. He had bags under his eyes and looked every bit of miserable as she felt. What does he have to be hurting over? He caused this. He's the one that didn't trust or love me enough to be honest with.

Aria took a beat to clear her head before addressing him. "We're pretty much done with our project since we've been on it since day 1." Caleb smiled as if remembering something. "Do you remember that first night we worked on it?" Aria thought back to the night he had told her she was beautiful and they argued before he kissed her senseless. A ghost of a smile graced her lips and Caleb felt hope soaring through his heart.

"That was a long time ago. At least then you were honest about not wanting to be with me." Caleb came tumbling back down. "Aria, I love you." She shook her head to stop him. "You need to draw up the sketch of the logo and I'll get Daisy working on designing the blueprint of the building. We should be done well before the deadline." She nodded more to herself than him. Caleb was feeling froggy so he leaped and grabbed her hand. She didn't rip it away, so that was a good sign.

She did, however, look at him as though he was a crazy person. "I know what I did was unacceptable. I hurt you and that's the last thing I ever wanted. I should have told you everything from the beginning and I'm sorry that I didn't." He rubbed her hand that was still in his and sighed. "I do love you. I do trust you. I just let my fear of losing you dictate all the wrong moves. I need you in my life, Aria. I need you in my arms. I just...I need you."

Aria heard his words. She knew that he loved her, but the fact remained that he did not trust her. "Why should I believe anything you have to say, Caleb? You lied to my face multiple times and effortlessly. It was like water rolling off a duck."

He could feel the anger pouring out. "I believe you when you say you love me, but that's it. You spew your lies like they were honey and I'm just supposed to swallow it down. You've proven to me that I am not good enough for you. I'm not good enough to be open and honest with. I love you Caleb, but I don't know what kind of relationship we could have if we can't be truthful with one another. What is love without trust?" She finally removed her hand to pack up her things and left. There was still thirty minutes left in the class, but she didn't care. She had to get away from him. She had to breathe.