Andante

XCVIII

Okay. So rationally Eddy knew, as he walked off the stage and Mr. Davids gave him a friendly nod, that it all wasn't as bad as all that. Yes, he'd made a couple of mistakes, yes, they had been audible to the people that knew the piece, but this was a general rehearsal, after all. If you were ever going to make nervy mistakes now was the time. 
But they didn't matter, these rational thoughts. Because all Eddy could think now, all he could feel every cell of his body screaming at him, so loudly that he was shocked the others weren't looking at him to see where the sound was coming from, was:
You suck! You suck! Never has anyone sucked more than you sucked today! 
He flinched as he put his violin back in its case, not even looking at any of the others. Certainly not looking at Mr. Davids anymore. How could he face the conductor now? 
He would have run away, if that wouldn't have been the rudest thing in the world. So he put his violin case on his back calmly, managed to smile at Todd and Ian and mumble something about needing the men's room, before he walked out as fast as he could without making a scene. 
He pretty much fled up the stairs to the men's room that was always empty, ran around the corner and into the men's room, just as the angry tears started flowing. 
"Fuck!" he yelled at no one in particular. "Fuck!" 
He threw the door shut and then he hit it with his flat hand, as if the door had done anything to offend him. Then he sank down to sit on his hunches, buried his face in his hands and sobbed. 

It wasn't long, naturally, before the door creaked open. Brett, of course, knew exactly where to find him. Eddy tried to avert his face as his love walked in the door and closed it behind him. Yes, Brett had seen him crying before, more than once in fact, but he still didn't want to be seen when he felt this low. 
"Hey, my love. You really weren't that bad." Brett said softly as he crouched down to sit in front of him. "Really, trust me. And I also fucked up."
Eddy looked up at him now through his tears, and really he wanted to punch the door again because guilt coursed through him like a tidal wave. 
"You only fucked up because I was fucking up, so I didn't only make myself look bad, I made you look bad as well." 
Eddy heard very well how bitter his voice sounded. He couldn't help it though. 
Brett put his hand on his shoulder, so lovingly, so softly. 
"Eddy. Everyone makes small mistakes sometimes. You don't have to be perfect."
Eddy didn't know what to say to that. What was he going to say? 'No, I do believe that I have to be perfect'? Even if that statement would have been true? So he just nodded. 

Brett smiled at him and he stroked Eddy's shoulder lightly. 
"Can we stand, so I can hug you, please?"
Eddy stood automatically, only because Brett had asked him to, but it took him just five seconds to start being grateful that he had, because Brett put his arms around him, his hands sneaking under the violin case on his back so he could pull him close, and then he just held him. 
And Eddy cried, because he couldn't stop himself. But at the same time he knew it didn't matter. Because Brett would stand there for however long it took for him to cry himself out, and he would be there for him, with him. 
So after a few minutes he drew a shaky breath and pulled back slightly so he could smile at his boyfriend. 
"I'm sorry, Brett, I really lost it there." he said, and he looked down at his feet. 
"It doesn't matter, Eddy. You can lose it all you like, it's just me."
And that was it, the mood changed abruptly, without warning, and suddenly his lips were on Brett's, and all the sadness, and all the angst that he'd felt throughout the rehearsal was transformed into the passion he felt for the best guy in the world. 
Brett grunted one of his wonderful little grunts and kissed him back just as hard, their lips and tongues crashing into each other as if nothing else existed anymore, beside the two of them and their devotion. 
"I love you so much." Brett breathed in Eddy's ear. "So very much." 
And Eddy let him go and he closed his eyes to get himself under control, because he knew full well that this was not the place, nor the time. 
"I love you too, Brett. More than anything in the world."

A/N. Hi guys! I just wanted to add a little note here. As you may know I've started to write a new novel called Perception. 
Now, I will tell you, there is basically nothing I suck at in life more than marketing. I really just... can't. Haha. But this new book, it's competing with a lot of others for visibility, so I would love it if you like my writing if you would come and check it out, and give it some stars if you want, because that will make it that much more visible to "strangers."
It's called Perception, by SayaAnneMay. I will put a link in the comments! Thanks a bunch :)