stay || seo changbin [✓]

sixteen.

Once Jisung got home from doing whatever he was doing with 3RACHA, I left to go back home. The whole drive all I could think of was what I was going to say to Changbin. I'm surprised I didn't let a tear fall while I was driving, but I already know myself, this whole not crying thing won't last very long.

As soon as I pulled up to my house, I wasted no time to hurry inside. I kicked my shoes off by the door and went straight to my brother's room. I knocked on the door and waited until I heard him give me the okay to come in. I opened the door and poked my head inside. Chan was at his desk with his laptop, Changbin was on his bed on his phone.

"Changbin, Jeongin needs you." I lied. I didn't want to give my brother any hints that I was the one who really needed him.

He finished what he was typing out on his phone before he got up from his bed, patting my brother's shoulder as he walked by him. I lead him across the hall to my room, shutting the door behind him.

"Where is he?" Changbin looked around my room seeing no sight of the youngest friend.

"I need to talk to you." I pointed to my bed signaling for him to take a seat, and he did. I looked at my feet for a few seconds as I collected my thoughts. The moment I looked up at his face, the water works started. "Changbin, I'm pregnant."

The color in his face instantly disappeared. "Are you sure?" His voice was a bit shaky as the panic started to hit him.

I reached down my shirt to grab the test that was wrapped up in toilet paper that I hid and handed it to him. I watched him through the tears that kept filling my eyes and rolling down my cheeks as he unwrapped the test. He stared at the results for a while before setting in on my bed beside him so he could rest his elbows on his knees and cover his face with his hands.

"I don't know what to do," I cried.

Changbin looked up from his hands, his lips being pressed together. "Are you one hundred percent sure it's mine?"

"Changbin, you are literally the last person to have stuck their dick inside me." I told him. "Minho and I always used protection. Always. The last time I had sex with anyone else was the halloween party and that was with you."

"What about Felix?"

He was really starting tick me off. I started off crying because I was scared of telling him about the pregnancy, now I'm crying because he's asking me stupid questions when he knows the answer.

"Seo Changbin!" I raised my voice. "I haven't had sex with Felix. I haven't had sex with anyone since the halloween party because of what you did to me. You had sex with me while I was drunk. I technically did not give you a verbal yes. I was not in the right state of mind. You didn't wrap up your fucking penis. You obviously didn't pull out. You know what that is right? You know what you actually fucking did to me, right? Do I have to spell it out for you? R-A-P-"

"Yes I know!" Changbin cut me off instantly, standing up and throwing his hands in the air. "I know the fucking mistake my stupid ass did! I know what I did was so fucking wrong. I told you this already, it eats me alive every fucking day. You think I'm proud? I'm horrified with my own damn self. You see why I refuse to touch alcohol again? I hate myself for what I did. I hate that I let myself turn into a monster that night. I know sorry isn't going to fix the emotional and mental damage for either us, especially you, but what the fuck am I suppose to do? What is it that you want me to fucking do Chaise? Please, I'm begging you to tell me. Don't you dare say 'I don't know,' because that is not a fucking answer. Tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to fucking leave? If so, just tell me and I'll pack my shit right back up and walk out the door."

I stood there glaring at him, hot tears rolling down my cheeks. His face was looking incredibly punchable at the moment. I clenched a fist as I thought about popping him right in the nose, but I instantly relaxed. It's like a switch was flipped as I was now no longer mad at him. I reached for his arm and pull him close to me, wrapping my arms around him as I cried into his chest. I could tell he was very hesitate about wrapping his arms around me at first, but eventually did and gently stroked the back of my head with one hand.

"I want you to stay." I sobbed. "I want you to grow the fuck up and be a father to this baby."

I felt his arms wrap around me tighter, like he was holding me closer to him. "If that's what you want, then okay. I'll be right by your side. Yours and the baby's." He pressed a soft kiss on the top of my head, then rested his head against mine.

"I can't do this alone." I continued.

"You're not going to."

I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I pulled myself away from him, sitting down on the edge of my bed, staring at the ground.

"I don't want to tell anyone." I told him. "Can we please keep this between you and I?" I looked up at Changbin and he gave me a nod. "I'm not ready to let anyone know, especially my family. We have to act like nothings going on."

"You know I'm going to worry about you." Changbin squatted down in front on me, grabbing both of my hands. "We don't have to tell a single soul if you're not ready. I'm ready when you are. We're in this together okay. I love you, Chaise. I know you're still extremely hurt and upset with me, and sorry is not going to fix it, but I truly am sorry for the monster I was. Just like I asked you to stay by my side while I work on myself to become a better me and you said yes, I'm staying right by your side. You didn't have to tell me you wanted me to stay because I was already planning on doing that even if you were going to tell me to leave. But since that is what you really want, I'm definitely not leaving your side. It's going to be a challenge to act like everything's normal when we're not alone. But you do realize we're going to have to say something eventually. We can't hide it forever."

"I want to hide it for as long as we can," I told him. "Or at least until I know I'm ready and the baby is okay."

There was no way in hell that I was going to get rid of this baby. If this happened to someone else and they chose that path, that is their body and they can do whatever the fuck they want to do. But for me personally, I just can't. I know once the others start finding out, all hell will break loose. Which is why I want to keep it a secret until I absolutely cannot anymore. I'm not ready to hear the backlash. I'm not ready to go through twenty million lectures about the pregnancy.

"Can I ask you something?" Changbin gave my hands a small squeeze. "What does this mean for us?"

I let out a soft sigh. "Changbin, I'm not emotionally or mentally ready to be in a relationship. So as of now, it means that we are two young adults that are not in a relationship with each other but are going to co-parent their child together."

He slightly nodded his head understanding what I was saying and where I was coming from. "We got this. We're going to be okay," he reassured me.

"You should probably get back to the room before Chan starts asking a million questions," I suggested.

He stood up from crouching down in front of me and leaned towards me, placing another soft kiss on the top of me head. He didn't say anything else. He just turned around and left my room, making his way back to his and Chan's room.