Hard to get? //Luke Hemmings #Watty2015

Chapter 27

All of my joints ache from sleeping in a ball against the cold tiles of the ballroom floor. I try to lift my head but drop it quickly from the weight and throbbing pain.

When I finally gain the strength the move, I stand, remove my sticky clothing and jump into the shower. I try to remove the sweat from last night and the even more sweat I'd produced through the night; I'm surprised the floor isn't like an ice rink.

I run my hands over my face and try to clean myself under the scowling water. The high temperature of the water causes my skin to tint red, and burn. I don't turn the temperature down as I slightly enjoy the sensation.

The tears continue to flow in a never ending cycle. It feels like I'm going through the heartbreak again. This whole situation is messing up and I feel like I can't function anyone. I feel like throwing up again but I no longer have any fluids inside of me.

The temperature loses its warmth and I decide to leave the large shower. I'll never understand why people have large things when they can do the same with small things.

That's what she said!

Michael's voice pops in the back of my mind. I stifle a laugh at the statement that could have been taken the wrong way.

An image of tears streaming down her face appears in my mind, causing my lips to instantly drop.

I can't get over the fact that not only did I, witness Demi crying and leaving again, but Ashton's betrayal.

I can't get over the fact that he knew all he did and didn't try to stop mine and the others boys' suffering. He could have got her to come back and he didn't.

He is like God is some way. He watched me suffer. He watched me cry on that curb letting the taxi take her further and further away from me. He watched me cry non-stop, not eat, not sleep. He could have stopped it all. He had the power to stop all of it but he didn't.

I grab the boxers I'd worn last night and wear them till I get into the bedroom. I'd had many accidents where a member of the management or someone besides the boys saw 'Luke'.

I walk through the hallway and run my hand through my damp knotty hair. I walk into the living room; Michael is sat on the couch staring at the TV as if it would cause it to turn on.

I go to turn the door knob and ignore his glossy eyes. I don't feel like comforting him when there is nothing positive to say. I know that's selfish but I can't deal with Michael saying my dark thoughts out loud to me.

"Ashton left this morning. He says he's sorry and I'm mad. I know you are, I understand and I told him we need a break. Calum's says he's going to call him later after we decide what to do for the rest of the tour" His tone is robotic, every sentence short and snappy.

Michael took Demi leaving almost as bad as I did. They were best friends and he didn't get a goodbye like I did, and I guess Ashton too, so her leaving came as a massive surprise to him, well to all of us. He'd lost his best friend, but I'd lost my love.

"Luke, talk to me. I don't know what to think of all this. Ashton knew and he didn't tell us. She came back Luke, what does that mean?" He turns and looks up to him. He's voice goes from robotic to a whine. I don't know what t to say at all. I hate seeing him crying and there is nothing I can say that will make him stop without lying.

"I don't know Mike. I don't know why Ashton didn't tell us. I don't know. I really don't." I go to leave again but I hear him shuffle in his seat. He turns fully to face me.

"Do you think she came to see us? Do you think she came back to stay, properly? Do you think we'll see her again?" His eyes are filled with hope; my words will either shatter the hope or increase it. Both I don't want to do. That's all we have done and will do, hope.