Hard to get? //Luke Hemmings #Watty2015

Chapter 26

Luke’s POV

Being home is great. From travelling all the time and being away from the family, being home is great. It’s a huge blessing to have the attention I get for the music me and my friends have created.

It’s strange when girls listen to our songs and say how they relate, or just listen to them like the words were put together to just sound good. Almost every song has something about her.

Every show I wish she was there. I wish she would be at each concert. I wish she would have watched us grow.

My mind would always run to what she’s doing right now. Is she screaming the lyrics to her favourite My Chemical Romance songs? Is she laughing and smiling? Is she happily married with kids and living a happy life not with me? I just want to know if she’s happy so I can move on.

Course I’ve tried the whole sleeping with many other girls but it just makes it worse. It just shows that no one can leave up to her. Nearly every interview they ask us if we have a girlfriend, each time I wish I could change the same answer, I just want her to be the reason for the change.

No one has heard from her and that hurts like hell. No one knows if she’s okay or even still alive. No one even seems to care.

I say that but I know it’s a lie. Everyone held on to a part of her once she left. Michael refused to stop dying his hair to for fill a promise he’d made to her. Ashton wrote her name on the list for every concert in case she came, even in countries away from here. Calum has kept her number in his phone even though it goes straight to voicemail each time you call it. I’d catch him listening to her say “it’s Demi! I’m either busy or I want you to fuck off!”

I’d steal his phone to hear it sometimes. I knew the number off by heart but I don’t want my phone to remember it.

I guess I may have taken it the worse. I kept all her favourite albums in my phone. A picture of her eating a hot dog at the fair transferred to every phone I got. I’d called up nearly every hotel in Australia and England to see if she was there, and had to pay the enormous bill after. I’d catch myself wishing on stars late at night just know she’s okay. I’d refuse to step in any place we’d been together, including the ice cream parlour and the park.

Being home each time brought all of those memories back. It was always the hardest for us all and none of us have been the same in Sydney since she left. She came and stayed for such a short time but left a huge hole behind. That hole feels like it will never be filled, no matter how much I try.

We pull up outside the arena and go over to the gates where the screaming fans stand. We all take pictures and sign things before we’re pulled inside. It seems like every day is the same. Playing to crowds, meeting girls that have no reason to like you, talk in interviews, and then start the day over again.

We’re rushed inside and to our dressing room. As per, music is played, food is eaten, hair is styled, clothes are put on and mics and ear pieces are put in. A routine I wouldn’t change for anything.

We’re then pushed on the stage to an arena that is always great to play in. It’s one I’d been to see my idols and to be on stage instead of in the audience is amazing, over whelming.  

We begin our set, make jokes and muck around. We all jump in sync, besides Ashton. I can remember when we’d done that for the first time at the hotel and she said it looked so cool. It didn’t fit the song we were singing but we still seemed to do it every time we played.

The set rolls on and the more sweat covers my body, the more crazy the fans get.  We move onto starting ‘If You Don’t Know’. A song I'm never comfortable in releasing. We were short on songs at the time and Calum had whipped through my notebook and came upon the song.