Hard to get? //Luke Hemmings #Watty2015

Chapter 42

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into fewer days till Dean’s trail day. Each day would be a cross off my mental calendar and with each day, my mood was getting lower and lower, and it wasn’t long till people started to notice.

It bugged me to my very core that I’m letting this get to me when there is no doubt that he’ll go down for a long time. I guess it just really hurts that he’s left scars that aren’t fading as quickly as I’d hoped.

It doesn’t help that nightmares have increasingly taken over my nights as it gotten closer to the day.

Each consisted of memories of him hurting me, and then some turned into him hurting Luke, which hurt a lot more. I’d tried to prevent Luke being hurt by Dean, but I never thought I’d have to picture it in my nightmares. It felt so real, and what hurt the most, was I couldn’t help and I had to watch Luke’s body become limper by the second.

Luke’s woke me up each time and held me as I’ve cried; slowly the tears became less and I’d just mumble my thoughts into Luke’s chest. He’s helped each time but it’s making him tired and that doesn’t help when they have shows to do; I made them carry on with the shows and appearances because it was straining on the bands reputation.

They told the papers and fans about me and Lucy. They judged, a lot, which was hard but I’ve tried to push through it. People thought I was only with him because of his fame and money and maybe Lucy wasn’t even his; I guess they got that one right, expect I didn’t have a sleazy affair behind Luke’s back. Some fans supported me, saying if Luke loved me then they do, but most had different views.

Slag. Slut. Bitch. Hoe. Fame whore. Gold digger.

Each name left a mark and even though to me Luke is a person like the rest of us is, I started to believe their words.

I’d spend my time scrolling through the hate on twitter, facebook, articles, everything and it just made it worse.

The others seemed to brush it off and just tell me “where there are lovers, there are haters”; it probably would have worked it there were more people supporting me than there were people who hated me.

 It didn’t help that they hated on Luke for not being there, keeping it hidden, saying he’d cheated on the girlfriends he’d had after me.

I didn’t want to be loved by the public; I just want to just be there, though being hated is much worse than being loved.

My life has changed massively and so has Lucy’s, and I’m not sure if I like it.

I’m sat on the bed with Luke asleep beside me as I scroll through an article about a girl pretending to have known me. She’d said I was whore and Lucy’s dad could be one of five.

A tear falls.

I forcefully drag my palm across my cheeks as I’m sick of crying. I feel weak and stupid.

Luke’s scratches his bare chest in his sleep and I let a small smile move onto my face; I’m letting him sleep instead of waking up every few hours to comfort me than stay up to make sure I’m asleep and okay.

I turn back to the article and write a comment at the bottom of the article.

It would be more believable if she knew Demi was from England, went to Sydney for four months then left for Melbourne for three years to have Lucy so Luke could actually live his life! Not sure she could be in America with a three year old, have sex with the child in the room, and half of the child’s DNA change....utter bullshit! Do people actually believe this crap?!

I rolled my eyes when the comment gets many likes in a short period of time and some comments agree with mine or others choose to believe the bullshit and carry on spending their time typing false stories about our relationship.