Hard to get? //Luke Hemmings #Watty2015

Chapter 14

I don’t love Dean.

I thought I did. I guess I loved how he used to treat me before he changed. We were in the same friend group when we were younger and we became pretty close friends. He would take me to the cinema or football games, he made me feel loved.

My mum never had much money. She was on family support as she barely got any income even though she worked six days a week. When we used to go on holiday it used to be to the seaside two hours away and my mum used to save up every year to go. We’d barely spend any money and mostly spend it on the beach because it is free. Even when we used to go to a fair we’d debate on what two rides we could go on because she couldn’t afford for us to go on any more than two.

Money was extremely tough and it never was a massive topic at school. Dean was drowning in money and everyone knew it though. The whole school knew he was probably the richest kid in the city, but no one really knew I didn’t have much money because I never invited people round to my house and always dressed as if I had money.

So when I started dating Dean he showered me with gifts. He was constantly giving me jewellery and paying for me some new clothes; now I realise was because he didn’t want to have a girlfriend who dresses in clothes that cost less than a tenth of his. Even one time we went to a fair and instead of only going on two rides, I went on nearly all of them and when Dean couldn’t win me this gorilla with a shirt saying ‘I go bananas’ he paid the guy £30 for it. He gave me everything I wanted. Whenever I wanted something he’d give me it.

I thought I’d fell in love with him but I guess I fell in love with his money. I guess I realised pretty quick that Dean wasn’t the person I thought I’d fell in love with.

4 months before I left England. I was in a restaurant with Dean and the waiter was flirting with me, but I just thought he was just being friendly, so I was answering his questions like I would normally and when he gave me a complement I said thank you. When he left, Dean stormed out and I followed. I jumped in the car before he could drive off without me and when we got back to my house we had a steamy row. He slapped me round the face and quickly apologized after. The next day a hundred roses and lots of boxes of chocolates turned up at the door. There was even a diamond ring. He told me the ring was his grandmothers and he loved me so much that I could have it as a promise to be a good boyfriend.

I found out that the ring was his grandmothers and she died a while ago and Dean didn’t even like her.

After that he’d push me or squeeze me too hard. He was even worse when he told me I had to leave to come here. I didn’t want to leave but I was too scared to say no.

When I told my mum I was leaving. She was extremely disappointed in me and said her daughter would never leave everything behind for a boy and she’d not brought me up to be that way. She told me I’d changed.

I then said the worst thing you could tell your mother. I told my mum that I hated her.

Then she slapped me round the face. I deserved it, but it hurt a million times worse than when Dean does it, and I’m not talking about the physical pain.

She quickly apologized and said she’d never do it again. After that I jumped on the plane with Dean. I regret not telling her it was okay and continuing our relationship but instead, I left.

I chose my abusive boyfriend over my mum who had never hit me once till that one day.

I left my mum and I still hugely regret leaving

I lay awake as I thought of how life could be different.

Instead of Dean beside me, I could have someone who treat me right.