Blue Eyes (bxb)

Forty Seven - Part Two

Georgie's house had never looked so big. Was big the right word? Probably not, but my thoughts weren't exactly coherent with the shadowing squelch of my shoes and the impending doom of possible rejection. The rain had dulled slightly in the time it took me to run the mile from Finn's house, but I was still drenched and shivering viciously. 

Was I doing the right thing? Finn may not even want to look at me, never mind take me back. Could I live with a broken heart? Sure, I'd been doing it for the last week, but this was it - my only chance for resolution. I'd kill myself before refusing to at least try to win him back. Now or never, now or never, now or never.

Tap, tap, tap. The door was cold against my whitened knuckles. Oh, God, this was a stupid idea. What was I even going to say? I should have just gone home, Finn was never going to listen to what I had to say, and rightly so. Just as I went to turn around, my aunt opened the door.

"Zak, what are you doing? You're soaking!" She cooed with concern etched on her forehead.

"Is Finn here?" I ignored her question with a question, trying to coyly peer over her thin shoulder.

"Oh, uh, yeah. The whole group is upstairs in Georgie's room. Come in." I gladly slipped past her into the warmth, following the familiar path upstairs into my cousin's bedroom. My aunt called after me, something about making tea and a towel, but I just ran, as breathless as I already was.

The bedroom door was closed. That gave me an extra moment to collect my thoughts, perhaps talk myself out of it. I could hear voices inside. One overly chirpy one - Georgie, bubbly as ever. A deep voice followed, slightly nasally and rough at the edges. Jack.

Then my ears pricked up. "I don't know why I'm friends with any of ya'z." The voice was laced with humour, sewed in between heavenly pronunciation and sweet, sweet melodies. I could have melted right then, slowly sunk into the floorboards, never to be seen again. He carried on talking and the butterflies erupted in my stomach. I hadn't heard him talk in over a week. I hadn't realised how much I missed his voice alone. How was I supposed to stay sane whilst looking him in the eye, telling him I was totally and irreversibly in love with him?

Suddenly, I felt more alone than ever. Because it was only me in the hallway. And four in the bedroom. And everyone back at prom. And my parents at home, probably reading, or cooking, or watching television. And Bobby and Steph and Michael in their home downtown. It was only me in the hallway, and only me who could tell Finley exactly how I felt.

If I didn't, then who would? And, if they would, would they word it how I would want for it to be worded? Probably not, so I stepped inside the room.

The voices melted into silence when eyes fell to me. The four of them sat on the floor in some sort of circle, legs crossed between each other. I first looked at Georgie. Her eyes were wide, scowling. Jack's eyebrows were furrowed as he scanned my dripping attire, whilst Ellie's lips pursed in confusion.

Then, I saw Finn.

And his hair was blue. And it was fucking hot. Under the glow of the lamp, it almost looked lilac - like an early morning cloud. I just wanted to run my hands through it, feel his scalp on my fingers, dig my nails into the cotton. He was looking at the floor, so I couldn't yet see his eyes. Though, I suppose if I had, I wouldn't have been able to control my words, no less my actions. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Georgie snapped. I assumed she'd taken Finn's side in this whole situation, no matter how much I wished there wasn't sides.

As if becoming a custom, I ignored her question and set my heart on the boy with the blue eyes. "Hi, Finley."

His head snapped up and my heart dropped at the contrast between his pale skin and the dimly lit room. He looked older, somehow. Maybe it was the dark circles under his cold eyes, or the relaxed flop of his usually intricately-styled hair. Perhaps it was the fact that he just seemed... sad. And I'd done that to him.