Blue Eyes (bxb)

Thirty Four

"Hi, Zak."

"Fuck off," I spat. I didn't want to talk to her right now. In fact, I never wanted to speak to her again. It's not that I was pissed at her for breaking up with me, it's that whenever I look at her I'm reminded. I'm reminded of the lies and the forgery. Her sandy strands of hair mad me think of me combing my fingers through it after I'd kissed Finn. And kissed him. And kissed him even more.

I hated myself. I hated what I'd done to this girl. I'd pretended to be someone I wasn't, and still am. It's hurting those around me, even if they don't know it yet. I didn't want this. I wanted to be happy and feel loved, but all I'm doing is tearing everything apart. And I was even about to do it again. Watch.

"Please, baby, here me out," Skai hushed. When I didn't respond she continued. "I'm sorry. Breaking up with you was a huge mistake. I love you, more than anything. Can't you see that?"

I nodded. "I can, but what about me? You basically blamed our break-up on me."

"I was just being over-dramatic. I'm sorry, my love. I didn't really mean what I said. You've been the best boyfriend I've ever had. All the other lads just fucked me and walked away. But not you."

I didn't say anything, just stared down at my shaking fingers.

"Please talk to me, I can't stand the silence." When I eventually caught her eyes in my own, she looked pitiful and ready to cry at any moment. I couldn't break her heart anymore, which is why I said this:

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, let's get back together. I missed you , too."

"Oh, Zakky! Thank you so so much!" She leapt into my arms and kissed me; sloppy and hard. I tried my hardest not to cringe as I kissed her back.

At the end of the school day, I drove home. Mum was out, but Dad was sat in the lounge, scrutinizing the flat-screen. "Afternoon," he welcomed.

"Hi. What you doing?" I responded.

"Watching the match. You can join if you get me a beer from the fridge." I uttered a quiet okay, before wandering into the kitchen. I saw a magazine laying open on the countertop. It was Steph's Vogue, the recent edition. Purely out of curiosity, I glanced at the colourful page. It was an article about roses and how they are incorporated into fashion. Okay, I know this was sooo goddamn stereotypical of me, but I couldn't help but admire the crisp, collected manner of the text and the flow of the models. I'm sure Steph wouldn't notice if I borrowed it for a bit, would she?

I grabbed the magazine, stuffed it up my hoodie, and raced upstairs to hide it under my bed, alongside some porno Jacob got me when we were fourteen. I got back downstairs, collected the beer, and handed it to Dad, taking a seat on the couch beside him.

"Was it really that much effort?" He chuckled.

"Huh?"

"You're panting for air. You only went to the kitchen, calm down, lad."

"Oh, yeah, well I hurried, didn't wanna miss the game." I focused on the TV. Nottingham against Arsenal.

 Although Dad was solely focused on the football storming up the pitch, my mind was focused on other things, aka how tidy Reiss Nelson's shoulder blades looked slicing through his uniform. Or how firm his biceps were. Jesus Christ, I'm gay.

The match ended with Nottingham the victor. Dad howled in celebration, as did I. We hugged it out, then slumped back down on the couch.

"That was a good match," he sighed.

"Uh huh," I gleamed.

"Sumet, up, Zak?"

"What? No! Oh, uh, by the way, Skai and I got back together."

"Oh, really! That's nice. She's a lovely girl, definitely up your alley."

"Yeah, she is," I said, barely above a whisper. "I'm gonna go upstairs and take a nap. I'll see you later."

I hopped up the steps to my room, collapsing on the grey duvet. What a day, I thought, slowly drifting into a quiet slumber.

I awoke to the sound of my phone bellowing in my ears. Peeling open my eye lids, I reached into my backpack, pulled out the device and clicked the answer button.

"Hello?" I groaned.

"What the fuck!?" A very, very mad boy cursed.

"Uhhh, what?" I was utterly confused. I forgot to check the caller I.D, so I had no idea who this was or why they were so pissed. Probably just a wrong number or something.

"Where the hell are you, dipshit? You've been ignoring my calls for the past hour. Forgot about our little meet-up, did you? Or were you too busy fucking your sad excuse of a girlfriend? And, yeah, I know you two got back together. News travels fast in our school. When did you plan on telling me, huh? Before or after I sucked your dick? In fact, I don't wanna know. I don't wanna hear your pathetic excuse, you bastard!"

Shit. Finn. I completely forgot. I glanced at my alarm clock that read 11:35pm. We were meant to meet at ten. Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

"Finn, no, babe, listen. I fell asleep, I'm sorry. As for Skai, it was just after you left. I know I shouldn't have, it was stupid. But I'm scared, okay? And I thought it might fix things if I said yes," I explained, dssperately.

"You could've called," he mumbled.

"I know, but I didn't. That was a mistake. Please, can I come see you? I want to talk face-to-face."

The line was quiet for a solid five seconds. I panicked that he'd hung up on me, until he spoke again.

"Fine. My house. Now."

"Thank you!" I squealed ending the call. I threw on a fresh set of clothes; an Adidas t-shirt and skinny jeans. In less than ten minutes, I was out the door and pulling out the drive in my wearing car.

I arrived at his townhouse, knocking politely on the door. I heard fumbling inside, a large clatter, then it opened to reveal a very pissy looking Finley Renolds.

"Get in, fuckface."

"Just 'cuz you wanna fuck my face doesn't mean you need to insult me by it," I said, walking inside.

"Shut up, Zak, I'm not in the mood for your shit." He clasped a hand around mine and led me towards his bedroom, where we each took a seat on the mattress. "Okay, start talking."

"As soon as you left after you gave me the biggest boner of my life, Skai came over. Boner - gone, as soon as I saw her face, by the way, which was a proper shame 'cuz I was gonna have a good wank in the bathroom." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, she basically begged for me to take her back and I felt so shitty, like she looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown. So I said okay and now she's my girlfriend again."

"You're a fucking idiot, aren't ya'," he huffed, though less venomous as before. Maybe even humourously.

"Mmh, I am," I purred. I was leaning in close to him, my breath hitting his neck.

"What about us?" He whispered.

"Nothing will change. We can still fuck."

"You're not at all bothered about cheating on your girlfriend with a boy?"

"Nope, it's not like I haven't done it before." I planted a soft kiss on the base of his neck. He moaned, slightly. Fuzziness tickled my chest.

After I'd established that Finn wasn't backing away any time soon, I began working my way up to his lips, capturing them with my tongue. Slowly, I pushed him down on the bed, positioning myself between his legs. I felt his hardening member rub against my own. And that's when I knew this was real and we were about to have sex.

Song: 'Love My Way' by The Psychedelic Furs