Blue Eyes (bxb)

Forty Five

I locked myself in my room for the remainder of the evening. Mum tried to get me to come down for dinner, but I refused. I wasn't hungry.

I'd tried to contact Finn but he wouldn't reply to any of my sixteen messages and thirteen calls. It was obvious I'd fucked up bad, and now I was paying the consequences.

My phone buzzed on my bedside table. Desperately, I leapt up off my mattress to answer it, praying for it to be Finn calling me back. It wasn't. It was Skai. Reluctantly, I pressed it to my ear.

"Hi, beautiful," I attempted to chirp.

"WHAT THE HELL, ZAK?! YOU QUIT THE FOOTBALL TEAM?!" Oh, fuck me. Now this bitch knows? News like this spreads like the plague in our school, so I knew for a fact tomorrow was going to be hell. And with Skai on my tail, I was screwed.

"Um... yeah. I did."

"WHY?!" Her screams were hurting my head even more after crying so much. I winced slightly.

"Sshh, I just figured it was time. It was my decision and, believe me, I don't take it lightly. But this is what I want, Skai, so don't think I'm making a mistake." I spoke with a strange level of calmness, as if all the fucks I gave had ran out weeks ago. Well, specifically, when I met Finn.

"You sure? You aren't gonna change your mind tomorrow?" She seemed to have the same attitude now, all anger leaving her body, replacing it with absolutely nothing.

"No chance. I gotta go, see you tomorrow, angel."

"Bye, teddy-bear." And I hung up.

I checked my phone once more to see if I'd missed a text from Finn. I hadn't, of course, but I decided to text him again, anyway, just in case he hadn't read the past sixteen messages.

I miss you, blue x

With that, I switched off my phone and curled under the duvet, fully expecting another sleepless night.

At school the following morning, Skai met me at the front entrance. I kissed her on the lips, then the jaw, then the neck, then I wandered off alone to my locker to get my maths book - which I'd actually remembered. Sam appeared by my side when I slammed the locker shut, making me jump out of my skin.

"Jesus Christ, you almost gave me a heartattack!" I gasped.

"What is up with you?" He said. Wow, that was very direct. Maybe too much so, considering how exhausted I was.

"Nothin'. I'm fine."

"Zak, I've never, ever, seen you look so shit. Believe me, something is up. Not to mention this whole football drama. What is wrong with you?"

I contemplated not telling him, I really did. He had no right to know, so why should he? But then I looked at his dark, comforting eyes, and I found myself melting under their intensity. I couldn't lie to him, he was only trying to look out for me.

Tears began to spill when I started talking. I told him about me having sex with Skai and blowing Finn off. I told him about our argument, and how he won't return any of my calls. I even told him about how I haven't slept since the last time I saw him.

"Fuck, you messed up bad, huh?"

"Don't get me started." I rolled my eyes, pathetically.

"You can get him back, Zak. You just have to talk to him face-to-face, as soon as possible."

"I can't. Prom is tonight and I can't bail on Skai, not yet, anyway. It's not fair on her."

"That's exactly the kind of attitude that got you dumped, idiot. No, if you want him back, you need to put his needs over Skai's. Breaking up with her when you're sure he's watching would be a good way to go about it."

"I just can't, though. Ever since Finn and I got together, I actually started caring about people's emotions and the consequences my actions had. Before I was impulsive, rude, violent, unfair, high-maintenance -"

"Yeah, okay, I get it, you were a shithead. But you choose now, when your relationship with the only person you've ever romantically loved is hanging by a thread, to be a good samaritan?" He asked, a sympathetic smile playing at the ends of his lips.

"I just don't want to upset any more people than I already have."

"Alright, I understand. Just do it soon... when the time is right." The bell chimed at that moment, so Sam and I said our goodbyes before hurrying off to class.

Steph put all the bags and boxes into the boot (trunk) of her car with the help of my parents and I. She was finally moving back in with Michael, Bobby's father, since the pair had patched things up, at last. As it turned out, Michael had been sneaking in most nights to meet Steph and, of course, have sex for a couple weeks now, hence the empty condom wrapper I found in her bin (trash can). Michael was here, too, helping her and Bobby pack up.

Like most brothers, I wasn't keen on my sister's boyfriend, as I've mentioned before. His overly floppy hair and loose tracksuit made him look homeless almost, as if he'd been dragged off the streets and dumped into my middle-class home. Dad never liked him either, but Mum at least pretended to for the sake of Steph's happiness. However, today Michael showed up in a clean pair of jeans, his auburn curls chopped just above the ears, a smooth jaw free of stubble with eyes that, for once, weren't bloodshot. When he first pulled up, Dad and I flashed each other a suspicious glance, but over the course of the hour we came to discover that Michael really had changed for the better, even cracking the odd joke through smiling lips. It was safe to say I no longer hated him. In fact, whenever he turned around, I couldn't help but ogle at his nicely shaped bum, to which earned me a slap on the arm from Steph.

Bobby came bounding up to me when his parents said they were ready to go. I gave him one of the biggest hugs my arms could conjure up, and he did the same. I was going to miss having that curly-haired munchkin around, but I definitely wasn't going to miss stepping on toy cars wherever I turned. "I don't wanna leave you, Uncle Zakky!" The young boy wailed.

"I don't want you to go either, little dude, but you belong with your mum and dad. I promise I'll come and visit you soon, though."

"Will you take me to the park again?"

"Of course! And we can get ice-cream," I grinned, patting his cheek.

"Promise?"

"Pinky-promise." I held out my little finger and he enfolded it in his own. I certainly wasn't going to break this promise. In fact, I planned on taking him next weekend, maybe with Finley, if I manage to win him back.

I gave my nephew a loving kiss on the cheek and he ran over to the car to meet his dad at the door. Steph walked over to me, smiling.

"I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday, little bro," she chimed, though I could see a glimmer of a tear in her eye.

"Me too. Gonna be strange being in this house again without you."

"Eh, you'll get used to it." Now a tear had spilled and it glittered in the setting sunlight. I was crying, too, like the emotional faggot I was. She scooped me into her arms and we stood there, bawling in the comfort of one another. I knew it was going to be shitty not having her around, but I didn't have a choice. She had her own family now, just like I'll probably have one in the future. I couldn't break that.

"Take care of yourself, Zak, and, whatever you do, DO NOT ask anymore girls out!"

I chuckled, letting go of her thin body. "I'll try not to." I kissed her once more on the cheek before she left to get in the car, after saying goodbye to my parents. Michael got in the driver's side and I waved as they drove off into the sun.

Fuck, I was gonna miss them.

Song: 'Yesterday' by The Beatles